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Rated: 13+ · Book · Nonsense · #2050715
Thoughts and takes on the way life presents....
Thoughts and takes on the way life presents....
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September 12, 2015 at 9:49pm
September 12, 2015 at 9:49pm
** Image ID #2055491 Unavailable **
“Next time you take me to a movie, make sure we are not behind jibberjabbers. Yack, yack, yack through the whole thing, broadcasting every single thing.”
“You could have told your mom and sister to be quiet.”
And that’s how Ben ended up on the couch that night.
September 6, 2015 at 7:43pm
September 6, 2015 at 7:43pm
My daughter regaled me with tales of her adventure when a creature from the dark side broke into her car. I gotta give her props for having more guts than sense, because she came upon him digging through her car and left her brain behind and ran up on him to confront him. He got back in his car and was going to drive off and she got right in front of his car to prevent him from leaving. Yes, my little ittty bitty spitfire thought she could stop a two-ton car. When he lurched at her, she jumped on the car and managed to get a hold of the sunroof and try to block his vision. He was trying to throw her off but she was a better stunt person than he was a stunt driver and managed to hang on despite the stupid stuff. About a block and a half away of this lurching forward stupid stuff and yelling back and forth at each other, he figured out that she would get off if he stopped driving. She is safe and has a good tale to tell. I sorta kind of wish now that I did not know the details because now I want to go find the bugger and give him more than a good shake. And yes, I resisted the urge to tell her what she should have done (mainly because I would have done the same thing). I am just so proud of her for winning and coming out alive.

Since then, she was being Minnesota Nice with the gray scale photo lineup. Since she could not be sure, she declined to identify anyone in the lineup. I told her that she needed a redo and this time ask for what you want. If gray scale crap and blurry were not working, ask for what you want that would work better. Seriously, if she had it narrowed down to one or two she could demand color, profile, in person lineup, and vocals if that helped. At first she was prevaricating, but when I pointed out that she had her car broken into and assaulted with a deadly weapon, she got a clue and will ask for a redo.

September 4, 2015 at 11:55pm
September 4, 2015 at 11:55pm
What is a valuable lesson you learned from a teacher?

I had a science teacher in high school that I learned a lot from. But Orville was a pain in his side. Orville taunted him: "Do you ever wish you could use all of your brain?" (Orville was a snot.)

Mr. Smith (real name) said. "Yes, Orville, I do. If I could use all of my brain, I could squeeze your head just with my thoughts. And I would squeeze like a vice grip and make you cry."

Those two were funny.

At the end of the year, he taught us how to change a tire, so we could not say we never learned anything useful from his class. And a penny so that we could not say he never gave us anything. He was the best.
September 3, 2015 at 7:46am
September 3, 2015 at 7:46am
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“Cut. That’s a wrap. Put a rush on the editing. We need this ready for the exec meeting on Friday.”
Serena unfolder herself from the uncomfortable position the choreographers managed to get her in. This particular song was not her favorite, but Jeff, her agent, had a way of picking winners and getting her to the top of the charts. This one promised to be his first miss. She did not like the lyrics, the choreography, the wardrobe or the props.
Serena had to express her displeasure, “Jeff, I don’t want to present that to the producers. It sucks. You’re going to blow my first chance at a TV audience.”
Jeff stretched to his full 6 foot height, managing to look like a Greek Adonis in the process. “Editing, my dear, editing. I just need the basic blueprint for them and we can edit later.”
“No more album covers with angel wings! And we need to tighten up the lyrics and get a decent choreographer.”
“If angel wings sell, you will shoot an album cover with wings. You will perform with wings.”
“You’re fired.”
“Fire me later. Talk to the producers on Friday. The layout and demos will be ready. You will be fine.”
“No more angel wings. No more. I’m serious.”
“Friday. Be ready.”
She could hear Jeff’s laughter fading as the door closed behind him. Most people would not find being flipped off so humorous.
Serena found a phone and furiously punched in the number for her lawyer. Her foot found a rhythm to tap out while she waited impatiently for the connection to hit. Serena hated that Barbie doll of a secretary he had. She always had to wait on hold so long. Serena knew it was on purpose. She was muttering profanities when Jeff’s singsong greeting grated on her eardrums. She cut him off, “I fired Jeff, but he is not taking it seriously. What did you do?”
She listened with careful attention to the sugar sweet legalese coming from Tim. He could be so arrogant and so condescending.
Serena accused, “You’re giving me the shaft!”
“No. You were the one that wanted a long-term no outs contract with him and only him. It’s 1972. This is how you play the game. What did you expect?”
“Bastard. I expected to get to choose what I wanted. I expected respect. You are not for me at all.”
“Serena, I tried to tell you …”
Serena slammed down the receiver. Serena had grown up poor and all these high power players were using her and she did not know how to even the playing field. Serena gave herself a shake and swiped away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks before calling the one person who never let her down. Grandma would know what to do and how to straighten this out. “Hi, Gran, you have time to talk?”
September 1, 2015 at 8:11pm
September 1, 2015 at 8:11pm
I have this habit of dropping my work gear in the kitchen and walking away. The hubby did not like that and so to quit the complaints i moved my drop zone to the living room in front of the credenza. After a couple nights of having to move my stuff so that he had a place to park his wheelchair, he taped a Handicapped Parking note on the floor. We are back to the kitchen for the drop zone and he is choosing the battles better. I still giggle when I see that silly thing.
August 29, 2015 at 4:03pm
August 29, 2015 at 4:03pm

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“Come, my child, the secrets of the universe await you.”
Yet she still hesitated. What was a universe? What was await? Why was this voice speaking to her? So many more questions.
The response from the distance was a door slowly taking form.
“Wow! That’s so cool!” The little girl thought she would like the color red.
The door slowly coalesced to meet her desire.
“Will it be dark on the other side?” She wondered aloud.
A brilliant light broke through the cracks on all sides of the double red doors.
As she advanced closer, she wondered how late it was. It would be dark soon and she would lose her way. Slowly, a lantern appeared to assist with lighting.
She took one look back and thought she heard her mother and father calling her. A moment’s hesitancy and she was off to the see what was behind the door. It was so pretty on the other side. And then it was over.
She awoke to her mother crying and yelling “Lisa! Come back! Please, come back!”
“Mommy, don’t cry. I saw Jesus.”
“Oh, honey, don’t do that to me again. Please.”
“K. Daddy, Grandma said I was just like you.”
“My mom?”
“Come here, Kitten. You know grandma died in a car crash last year?”
“Uh-huh. Daddy! That’s too tight.”
“Sorry, honey. Did grandma say anything else.”
Lisa shook her as she nestled into her father’s shoulder as he carried her home to be cleaned up. The water in the creek was cold and muddy. She was just happy they did not yell at her for getting her pretty dress all messed up.

[Serious question: This story is missing something, but I can't figure out what. I read an article about vivid particularity, but the penny has not dropped on what that means. If you have any wisdom on how to punch this up, I would appreciate an example or two. Just telling me what I already know without an example of it is kind of pointless and leaves me sitting in this same hole without a ladder.]
August 27, 2015 at 10:39pm
August 27, 2015 at 10:39pm
I am back from vacation now. You up for a story? (Branson, Missouri -- thank you for asking!)

We had a fairly uneventful trip from southern Minnesota to Branson MO until we hit Des Moines. My sister was a two-lane only driver so when we hit the city driving, she kept saying, "I'm scared." She was doing fine until she figured out where we were, I swear! So I told her I would switch to driving when she pulled over. I should never have said that – it was her cue to pull over and switch drivers, like right now! So at the next Enter lane -- you know the kind that have the long-running enter lane running parallel to the freeway? You know how there is that V where the enter lane merges with the freeway traffic? -- That’s where she stopped and got out to switch spots. We had us a Chinese fire drill on a freeway. Yep, they build us smart in Minnesota.

When she was settled in the backseat, she is looking around and wondering out loud how we would ever get back on the freeway. I just said “Watch me.” I gunned it and merged three lanes over in about a minute and a half. When I asked if she was alright, she said, “Yes, I was under the seat and didn’t see anything.”

True story.

The hubby says I am the kind that has to tell everything I know to whoever will listen. I don't think that's true. I keep plenty of secrets from him, he would have a heart attack if he knew everything.

August 9, 2015 at 11:02pm
August 9, 2015 at 11:02pm
** Image ID #2048593 Unavailable **

“Move in the left flank.”
“Geez, Josh, just do it. The aliens are over the rise.”
“Why do my guys always have to get eaten by aliens?”
“Not all the time.”
“You’re spoilin’ the game. You wanna play or not?”
“I’d rather shoot you with a paintball gun!”
“K. Tag. You’re it.”
“Why do I always have to be it?”

[Dialogue only.]
August 5, 2015 at 7:57am
August 5, 2015 at 7:57am
Happy Hump Day. Last week I was shouting the praises of Friday because we got everything done. NOT! Monday and Tuesday were like a bitch on wheels. I had to be civil to mean people. I had to tell my boss I can't fit a square peg in a round hole. Everything that I thought was done on Friday was not. Everything I thought I was doing correctly was not. And now i have to go do "training" all over again because what they taught me no longer applies. I will be so grateful for Friday.
August 1, 2015 at 12:19am
August 1, 2015 at 12:19am
I had such a long, hard, messed up week. If I could have split myself in three parts, I would still have been behind. Just one of those weeks when you say “Thank God It’s Friday! And you really mean it! And people shout Amen because they know it, too. I won’t go into it, but just know that I was functioning on autopilot, because the brain cells were all used up by 10:00 a.m. every day. You see my boss went to a wedding out of state and he looked at me and the law clerk and said, “I don’t want to hear it. Just handle whatever comes up.” Yikes! I still don’t know how I managed to get everything done by Friday 5:00. The weekend is a blessing. Happy Dance!

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