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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1993809
Rated: 18+ · Book · Parenting · #1993809
A continuation of my original blog, "Surviving Motherhood".
...As well as Ryan!. Come ride the roller coaster with me as my son goes through middle school, and my daughter keeps growing and changing! Still into Hello Kitty, still into Super Mario Bros., but now into Pokemon and Dr. Who as well! Come listen to my new tales, regarding school, Girl Scouts, soccer, and everything in between! The life of a mom is never easy, especially as children grow, and especially when you have a special needs child.



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August 13, 2017 at 5:14pm
August 13, 2017 at 5:14pm
#917452
Journey has made her way home from Girl Scout camp safe and sound, with many memories made, some items that she created, and whole bunch of insect bites. All in all, a good time was had. She made a friend at camp, which personally I like a lot better than going with a friend to camp, so that way they connect with each other most throughout camp itself. Sometimes I find when you go with a friend outside of camp, they tend to find other people that interest them as well, but sometimes you get left behind. I think personally, if it were me, I would just want to go in by myself and see if I could make a friend there instead. Journey does amazing going to camp on her own, without knowing someone, and this year, came back with a friend! Her mom and I connected, and we passed the girls information to each other, so hopefully we'll keep in touch. I excited Journey by letting her know that it's a possibility that we could put her friend and her in the same session next year, and she was very excited at that prospect.

We're 4 days away from our trip to Minnesota to see my very best friend. Journey and I are insanely excited!! So is my best friend. We've kind of kept quiet about me going there, but I will post a photo of us on Facebook once I get there. I don't care if people get upset, this is a trip that needs to be documented. I will be taking pictures.

Journey is excited to go on an airplane again, for the first time in about 9 years. I'm going to make sure she takes her motion sickness medicine so everything goes somewhat smoothly on the plane. We decided to pack our suitcase today. We'll pack our backpacks by Wednesday, and be ready to go for that night.

Ryan says he's going to spend most of his time sleeping, hahaha. I asked him to set an alarm so that he wakes up in the morning to feed the cat at least. I'm having him check the mail every day, and he needs to clean the cat's litter box on Thursday, and then again on Monday. I wonder what Dixon's going to do while we're gone? He's seen Don go outside of the house for a while, he's seen Ryan leave the house for a weekend, and he's seen Journey leave the house to go to camp, and he doesn't really seem too fazed by it. However, Meowlel has rarely ever left his company, and most especially not overnight, so I'm curious to see if anything changes in his demeanor. Truth be told, I'm just his slave, so he may be dancing a jig when I leave. You never know.

In less than two weeks, we will be finding out both of the kids' schedules for school. In about 17 days, we have the opportunity to tour her middle school and meet her teachers. In 18 days, we have the opportunity to do the same for Ryan and his high school. We're about halfway through August now. I was acutely aware this was going to happen. Journey turns 11 in 10 days. We are super excited for her! We got her a set of rocks and gemstones, and a book about rocks and gemstones for her birthday. She's very into geology right now, which I love. She has a very scientific mind. She also loves baking, which again, is a science, but also makes delicious things. She loves to see the chemical reactions that baking makes, and how it makes things taste. I love working with her on these things, it's lots of fun!

15 years on WDC today. 12 years of blogging. It's very much been a worthwhile ride.



August 3, 2017 at 12:35pm
August 3, 2017 at 12:35pm
#916666
We got a great surprise in the mail today. Journey was sent a letter, certificate and medal today for being one of our Girl Scout council's top 100 entrepreneurs for 2017. I am so damn proud of her, and all that she accomplishes during product sales. She is ALWAYS the top seller in both Fall Product and Cookie sales every single year in our troop, so to be recognized as one of our council's top sellers is an amazing feat of itself! We're in a lower populated, more rural area of our council, so it's that much harder for Journey to sell, but she manages to do amazing! She sold over 450 boxes of cookies this year, and that's the second time she's done that. Her first year of Daisies, she sold over 200 boxes, as well as her first year of Brownies. 2nd year Brownies, she sold over 300 boxes, and for the last two years, her Junior years, she sold over 450. She hit the 100 club in Fall Product this last year, which I'm not sure any girl in our service unit did, other than her. She always does so amazing at Fall Product too!

I am beyond proud of her, and so excited for her to see that she's able to achieve her goals while selling. She works so hard, and does whatever she can. She has single handedly earned our troop over hundreds of dollars, if not over a thousand by now. She puts her heart into it and hustles like no one else I've seen. She's amazing.

I can't wait to see what this year's product sales are going to be like!



July 25, 2017 at 10:01pm
July 25, 2017 at 10:01pm
#916172
I feel a need to write this down in here. Personally, I really don't care if there are comments or not, because, this is how I, myself, feel, about my life, and no two people or lives are exactly the same, and no two perspectives are ever the same either. I can't guarantee that Don will feel this way, even though he and I are sharing our lives together. This is solely on me, and I really feel that any advice given isn't going to be of any possible use to me. To be honest, I'm not even really looking for advice at this time. I just...I need to let this out.

I am a needy person. This is fact. I've driven many people away because of this fact. I'm still trying to figure out why Don is here with how needy and smothering I am. I guess he loves being needed. The role of Mama placated my neediness; my little ones needed me as much as I needed them. It was such a beautiful harmony, me helping, them learning, us all getting what we needed from it.

And then today, when Ryan decided he'd rather hang out upstairs in his room (not to say that I'm against that. Not at all. Teenagers need their space, and their own time. Someday very soon, he's going to grow up, move out of the house, and be on his own, and be his own company. There's nothing wrong with that.) then hang out downstairs with Journey and I, I started to realize where in this particular parenting adventure we were in. I've pretty much worked myself out of a job now with Ryan. He's very independent, he can do a lot of things on his own, including his own laundry, procuring lunch, etc. While I'm thrilled to know that I have helped mold an independent free thinking good citizen of the world, I also realize that he needs me so much less than he used to, even less than he did a year ago. In about two years, it will be even less than that, as he'll get his drivers license, and won't require me for a ride anymore. My mind goes from being innately proud of him, to wondering what I'm going to do with myself and all this newfound free time. I have Journey, but for how long? I'm even supposed to be stepping back from leading my troop, into being more of an adviser now. It's getting to the point where, my kids don't need me nearly as much as I need them.

The truth of the matter is, I've always needed them. I've always needed them to need me, and want to spend time with me, and be around. Maybe I'm lucky, that I got a good chunk of Ryan's attention until he was 14. Maybe some other mothers don't even get that from their sons. We're still very close, and I love him so damn much it hurts, but I also don't want to hold him back. Just because I need him doesn't mean I'll hold him back and keep him caged. I would hate for anyone to do that to me, so why would I do it to him? The same goes for Journey. Right now, at the cusp of eleven, she and I are two peas in a pod. In fact, the biggest reason I booked a flight to Minnesota for both her and me is because when I t old her I was going, she begged me to take her with me. She and I both felt like it would be very hard on her, so, I bought her an accompanying ticket. This may very well be the last trip she ever asks me to take her with. I don't know. The years, they play tricks on me. Sometimes, I think my kids wouldn't do this or say that, and other times, I realize just how one dimensional thinking that is, and how I seem to have my kids put in a box, believing that we'll always be this way, forever and ever, and that's not the case.

My life is made up in two minds-the logical, rational side of me, and the emotional, irrational side of me. I don't always realize when I'm being emotional or irrational, but eventually, my logical, rational side of me will realize I am, and tell me to stop. Problem is, my emotional, irrational side is so worked up about it all, my logical, rational side can't take over and control the flames that are busting out into the streets of my mind. A good portion of this is due to my mental health, and believe me when I say that tinkering with my psych meds for the last 8 or 9 years has helped me tremendously to listen more to that logical, rational side. I don't completely lose all control, ESPECIALLY over huge things, but sometimes, I feel a good cry come on over situations I thought I could handle but apparently cannot. I don't deny myself a good cry either, as I find it extremely cathartic and I feel a million times better after I'm done.

But I digress.

I realize that as the kids age, they will need me much less. My emotional side says that if I try hard enough, we can stay the way we are right now in a holding pattern for the rest of our lives. The logical, rational side of me says that's not possible, all things must grow and change, including myself, and even if I don't want it to, things are going to be different. My heart pleads for that to not be the case. I want Ryan and Journey to need me every day, just the way I need them...but my mind knows, that's not the way any of this works.

So where do I go from here? I don't even know. I know right now I'm going to keep on doing my best to live in the moment and enjoy having my kids with me still at this time. I know that I need to continue helping them learn to take care of themselves and look after themselves for when they leave the nest, and when they're out there in the big world on their own. I don't want to sabotage this, or fail them just because I'm selfish. That's not what a good parent does. (On an aside note, I can't help but feel that I was sabotaged when I was a teenager as well...but that's another story for another day, and I am here to break cycles.)

I know this sounds horrible, but frankly, at this juncture, there's not a lot of things I want to put my time into, other than what I'm doing now. Being Mama is one of my most favorite things, and I really don't want to have to give up being hands on Mama until I have to, but we're starting to move towards that. Soon I'll have to be far away Mama, or Mama on the phone. It's nice....but it's not what I want. Emotional, irrational side speaking. Logically and rationally, I know that what I want and what needs to happen are two different things. I'm dragging my feet and being surly about it. That's not going to help anyone in this situation, and I need to find other productive things to do with my time. Nothing seems as fulfilling as what I've been doing though. Would I do it again by fostering/adopting another little one? Honestly? I'm not entirely sure. The emotional side of me says maybe...the rational side of me says "Lady, are you outta your damn mind?? We've got kids who need money for college! Where are you supposed to find extra funds to adopt a little one??". Perhaps the two need to meet up and hold a meeting of the minds. That's not something to take into lightly. Most importantly, it's something Don and I would have to talk about. I'm not about to do something like that without bringing him into it. And frankly, I think he's fine with the kids growing up and moving on....more than I am apparently.

And, funny, you'd think having Dixon would solve these issues...but the fact of the matter is, the cat doesn't seem to be too needy of me, other than to fill his water dish, food bowl, and clean his litter box. He lavishes all his attention and affection on Don....sometimes I feel like the cat and I are competing for my husband's attention. Again, another story for another day...I'm all over the place here today...don't mind me...

It just hits me in waves sometimes. Sometimes, I'm fine with everything that's happening, and sometimes, my need to be with my kids is all consuming. I love all the people (and the being) in my house. I want to be surrounded by them constantly....but realistically, I know that's not possible. I've loved every single day of summer vacation so far, because I'm with my two kids day in and day out. We go everywhere together, with or without the car. I'm crying right now because, I don't know how long that's going to last. In six weeks, they'll return back to school, and soon, it will just be Dixon and me during the day. Dixon's happy right now that the kids are home with me right now, and feels comfortable being with us the whole time. When it's him and me, he usually decides to stay upstairs and nap his time away until the kids come home. Frankly, I don't blame him, and I would too, but I can't force myself to sleep. It comes when it wants to. I have no real choice in the matter, and it upsets me.

My options are limited. My time is running out. Right now, I'm determined to make the most of it, and enjoy every day that we have, because who knows what tomorrow holds. It's what tomorrow holds that makes me drag my feet in the now, and makes me uncomfortable and uncertain.




July 24, 2017 at 1:24pm
July 24, 2017 at 1:24pm
#916054
A few things are coming up, two girl scout excursions, and then next month is chock full of things going on. I'm going to say that August will be our busiest month yet. Between Journey going to camp, and then us going to Minnesota, and then Journey's birthday, and then getting ready for school, there's lots to look forward to. Journey's 6th grade orientation is at night on August 30th. Ryan's 9th grade orientation is in the morning from 10 am to 12 pm on August 31st. School doesn't start until September 5th, but I'm glad to know that they're looking to get everything in and moving.

I'm curious to see what the kids schedules look like. I really hope and pray that Journey did NOT get Ryan's 6th grade math teacher. She would be HORRIBLE for her, and just wreck her self esteem. I don't need that for Journey. That's not conducive to learning for her. I'll look and see on HAC to see if any info on when the schedules come out is available.

Journey and I are really looking forward to our time in Minnesota. I was upset yesterday because I was leaving Ryan behind, but he swears he'll be okay. I certainly hope so. I don't want him to be lonely during the day because Journey and I aren't here. Don will be at work, so I hope that Ryan can keep himself occupied and okay for the time being. He also has Dixon.

Curious to see more about school time coming along. I know it's not going to do any good getting the info now, as they won't be going in until 42 days now. That seems such a long time away, but really, I think it will fly by, just as it always does. I'm going to enjoy having the kids here while I have them though.



July 13, 2017 at 3:25pm
July 13, 2017 at 3:25pm
#915297
Most summers, I have no issues with the kids being home. Usually, the hardest part of it is affording all the food and snacks we need to keep them fed. This year, it hasn't been a problem at all. We are very comfortable, and always have food to eat. I am so appreciative of that fact.

This summer has been fantastic. I've decided that I'm not going to shove school activities down their throats while it's summer. We've all been relaxing, having a good time. The kids can always occupy themselves, and are fairly independent. We stay downstairs together, watch movies, they play video games, we chat a lot, having a great time. There's a lot of camaraderie with the kids and I. The 5 of us (Dixon included) are a very tight knit family. I live in a house with all my favorite people (and a favorite being in Dixon of course!), so I enjoy the time I have with everyone while we have it. I don't get sick of my kids, which many people have tried to guilt me into. I'm sorry that they were miserable, but that doesn't mean I have to be too. I'm quite happy to be home with the kids, enjoying our days together before they go back to school.

I'm so glad we get another month in August. I'm thrilled that they don't go back until after Labor Day, which means I can hang out with them just a little longer. I don't feel so rushed. I hope they don't either. We still have plenty of time.

Dixon has grown used to the kids being home, and finds it a good reason to come stay downstairs for most of the day. Normally, when it's just him and me, he likes to take the opportunity to sleep on everyone else's bed while I stay downstairs. Not much company for Meowlel, but those are the breaks.

We haven't been talking about the upcoming middle school and high school year just yet, but I know they know it's around the corner. I know all too well that it is also. Next week, we'll be going school supply shopping for Journey to get all her needs, and get some basics for Ryan. We've been told that the high schools let their course teachers decide what's necessary for the students to bring. If I think back to when I was in high school, I don't really recall having a school supply list, I just walked in with a zippered binder filled with blank paper and multiple folders, pens, pencils and erasers. It seemed to suit me just fine. I know things are going to be different for the kids (I don't recall ever having a school supply list when I was in middle school either, but Journey does for the next 3 years, which is fine by me.)

We've been doing some Girl Scout activities this summer so far. Journey's gotten to see her friend Ben twice now, we also went over Melissa's house to see Grace, and Journey is hoping to get to see her good friend Bradley in the upcoming weeks. We also have a Girl Scout event going on tomorrow, and then again on the 27th and the 28th of July.

August is going to go by very quickly. Journey spends a week at summer sleep away Girl Scout camp from August 6th to 11th, and then Journey and I leave to see my best friend in Minnesota on August 17th, and return August 22nd, one day before Journey's 11th birthday. Journey's birthday, we're doing the usual, going to Olive Garden and Sweet Frog. She's not having a party this year because none of her friends are going to be here during that time. That's the only drawback to school starting after Labor Day, everyone's using it as a last chance vacation before school starts again, which means that no one is here for her party. She seems to be okay about it for the most part. I'm glad to hear it. Ryan suffered the same fate in June, as all his friends were out of town for his birthday. His best friend and he spent a day together before Ryan's birthday, which I was super happy about.

I will continue to update as I feel for the rest of the summer. I'm sure I'll have plenty to say when the kids go back though.





July 3, 2017 at 9:02am
July 3, 2017 at 9:02am
#914634
Journey and I have been talking a lot lately. I'm quite glad we are, because we're covering topics we wouldn't usually. I appreciate all the time she's putting into this with me, it means a lot.

We were discussing hear idea for her Silver Award project in Cadettes. I explained to her how making the fidgets is important, and going to the schools and delivering them is important as well, but the biggest piece of the puzzle that she needs to do is to talk about how important fidgets are for kids like her.

I know this is a hard topic for her. There are quite a few days when she doesn't want to admit that she has autism or ADHD. Sometimes she wishes she was just average and neurotypical, and in a way, I can't blame her. But, without her testimony, the project doesn't have the same authenticity to it or the same importance to it the way it would if she were to tell the kids that she knows first hand why these fidgets are needed.

When I explained that a couple of days ago to her, she was right on board, and she was willing to do what it took to put this project in the air. At this time, we can't work on the project, because we need to work on the journey first. I will guide and facilitate as much of their project as I can once the journey is over. I think it's wise to start off that way instead, just to cover our bases and make sure that we're headed in the right direction.

I don't ever want her to hate who she is. I don't ever want her to think that autism or ADHD are bad words, or that she's a terrible person because she has them. I want her to know that, although they're challenges to have, that doesn't make her any less than anyone else. She deserves to be here just like everyone else does. I want her to shine who she is to the world, and let them know that she's amazing no matter what. I hope she believes that from here on out. I'll be sure to remind her every step of the way.



June 28, 2017 at 3:30pm
June 28, 2017 at 3:30pm
#914309
I am a planner. Ever since Don and I got together, I have been. Before anyone else was in my life, I flew by the seat of my pants, never caring really where I ended up or what I was doing. I was under the belief that something would always turn up. Ahhhh, the life of a young adult whose only concern is herself.

Now that my life involves 4 other beings, I find myself trying to plan for as much as possible, for the sake of stability. It helps calm my mind to know that I have something up my sleeve just in case something should happen. It's not always foolproof, but I've found that 8 times out of 10, when something goes down, and I have a back up plan to get us through, I'm a lot more calm and rational. I can keep us afloat and keep moving forward, hardly missing a step. I've made an art out of turning full fledged panic into plans A-Z and thensome.

The end of childhood for both of my kids is drawing to a close. One is soon to be 11 and in middle school, the other 14 and entering high school. I have been heartily warned that the last 4 years of his public education will go by quite quickly, which I realize is probably true. This means that Journey's 3 years in middle school will fly by as well, and the next thing I know, I'll be looking at a freshman and a senior.

This realization has led me to a lot of panicky, restless nights. It has also brought me to other realizations, such as the fact that Maryland is a very expensive place to live. This particular area is very expensive, and where we are right now at this time is the only place that we can really afford here. Truth be told, it was never our intention to be here forever, and if we did stay, we'd literally have to stay in this apartment for the rest of our time. There's really nowhere else to go within this area that we can afford, even if I did get a job, at say, Food Lion or something of the sort.

Don and I have talked in semi-deep discussions about making a return to Colorado, after all is said and done. I've cried many times though, thinking that we would be leaving the kids behind, or leaving the kid's only known home behind. I know that the kids are just as sentimental as I am, and I don't want to hurt or crush them. However, we would love to return to where this all began.

Last night, the kids and I talked about it all. I know that after Ryan finishes high school, he would like to look into college, like a 4 year university college. He asked if it was possible to go to one in another state, which I explained is completely possible. I did want him to know though, that if he chose a school close to here, we wouldn't leave him here to fend for himself while we moved cross country. Likewise, Journey has told me that she does NOT want to attend a university. She cannot bear the thought of leaving out of our house to attend school in a completely different area. I explained that it's quite simple to take community college courses while staying at home with us, which she was over the moon about.

While I am buoyed by the fact that my children are looking to further their educations, I really don't want to leave them behind here. So, we started talking. Ryan said that if he does attend a university in the area, he would be willing to make the move to Colorado with us, if we would let him finish out his fourth year of university to do so. I explained that that wouldn't really be too much to ask, and also told him that if need be, all accredited colleges transfer many credits over, so if we did make that move, he could also attend another university somewhere else as well. We'll see how that all plays out a bit later though. As for Journey, she told me that she'd be willing to wait with us for Ryan to finish out, and that she would like to attend a community college after we've moved. I am quite pleased with this idea, and I love the fact that she's willing to make the move with us.

I'll be sad that the kids will be moving away from most of their childhood friends, and I'll be sad that I'm moving away from my girls, but the time is coming, and we must start planning for it now. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting bigger and brighter by the minute, and I want us all to be prepared for what may come. My heart is so full, knowing that the kids would like to make the move with us. We are such a tight knit family, so close together, and always wanting to be close. I don't want to be far away from my kids. I want them to be at least a state over where I can easily visit them, and help take care of their little ones when it's time, etc.

The talk last night helped bring some peace to me, both in the present, and for the future. Instead of fearing what's going to happen to us, I'm more willing to look forward to these next 7 years without as much hesitation.



June 21, 2017 at 11:57am
June 21, 2017 at 11:57am
#913810
Last year should've hit me harder, as Ryan became a full fledged teenager. However, in the next 4 days, Ryan's going to turn 14, and it differs so much from 13 in so many ways.

Firstly, he was still in middle school when 13 hit. It wasn't too big of a change. He was just starting teenagehood, and though it's a big milestone, 14 seems so much bigger, because it means he's off to high school in the fall. Much like middle school, I can't seem to wrap my head around this one very well. I have no choice but to cope with it as it comes. I still find it hard to believe that Journey's going into middle school this coming year as well. 11 still seems so young.

There are occasionally times where Ryan shows his teenage-ness, groaning, rolling his eyes, mumbling "Whatever" under his breath, but they are few and far between for now, I'm happy to say. I love him so much, and I'm so grateful to have him in my life. This whole raising a teenager is new to me, I've never done it before. So far, he's making it a little easier on me. We'll see what the household dynamics are going to be like in a couple of years when Ryan's 16 and Journey's 13...should be interesting to say the least.

Ryan and his best friend are going to have a hang out session on Thursday in lieu of a birthday party for Ryan, as all his friends that would be guests are going to be gone at that time. I'm glad that his best friend is making time for him though before they head out for the summer. Ryan doesn't get to spend a lot of time with him since they've been going to different schools.

I hope Journey gets to spend some time with friends as well. We got to see her good friend Ben the other day, which they were both thrilled about. Those two also don't get to see much of each other because of attending different schools. Hopefully everyone keeps in touch.


June 8, 2017 at 4:13pm
June 8, 2017 at 4:13pm
#912776
Today was Ryan's 8th grade promotion. We took Journey out of school today for her to come see it with us and support her brother. We were given a ride by one of Don's soccer parents, which was very nice. I went out and jinxed us on the car we were looking to get-it seems the owner had a change of heart, and decided to keep it. Quite maddening for us, as well as those who continue to give us rides to the things we need to be at, but, luckily, some really great friends have stepped up to help.

It was a fantastic ceremony, and I'm proud to say that I didn't cry at all this time! That's not to say I won't cry ever again, or at another ceremony for Ryan-I'm willing to bet I'll cry at his high school graduation...possibly. Not sure yet! I'm almost certain that I'm going to cry at Journey's 5th grade promotion tomorrow, however. I'm bringing the camera and a whole bunch of tissues with me, just to make sure!!

I find it neat that this will be the first, last, and only time that Journey and Ryan will ever "graduate" at the same time. Being spaced 3 years apart, when Journey promotes from 8th grade, Ryan will be in 11th grade. When Ryan graduates high school, Journey will be a freshman in high school that year. If Ryan goes the college route and completes his associates, Journey will be in 11th grade. When Journey graduates high school, Ryan will hopefully be in his 3rd year of college, and if Ryan graduates with his bachelors, Journey will have been removed 1 year from high school.

Saturday, we have our bridging ceremony for my troop girls. Ten of them are coming back as Cadettes next year, and I cannot be more thrilled about that than I already am. I love these girls so deeply, they mean so much to me. To know that they've been continuing with me since Daisies and Brownies is just amazing to me.

One of my girls and I worked together to iron on and sew all of the insignia yesterday. She's been working on her sewing skills, and I am super proud for all the hard work she put in to all those vests yesterday. We did it as a gift to each girl, so that way all her insignia would be placed on correctly. (Heaven knows, there are a few parents in the troop who haven't really looked at the insignia placing form when I hand them to them!) I hope they appreciate all the hard work that she put into it. I know I do!

All in all, these last 3 days are all about new beginnings. I'm hopeful to an eventful and fulfilled future.




May 31, 2017 at 7:04pm
May 31, 2017 at 7:04pm
#912121
We're looking into getting a new to us car in the next couple of days. There are all kinds of things up in the air right now, and there's a few things that are holding us back from making this a streamlined process, but we're doing what we can do to get it done. My hope is that we'll be able to attend all the things we need to attend starting this Saturday without any hiccups or hitches. I shouldn't have said that, because that's usually how bad shit happens. Omg.

Anywho....

It's really happening. In one week, Ryan will have been promoted from 8th grade to 9th grade. Just like that, he'll be getting ready for his freshman year of high school. One week from tomorrow, Journey will be promoted from 5th grade to 6th, and will be getting ready for her first year of middle school. A chapter has closed for us. We are now officially the parents of older kids. A "tween" and a teen. It amazes, overwhelms and astounds me. Yesterday I was talking with Ryan about how it's all going so fast, and how the next four years are going to fly by, and how I'm not ready for them to leave me yet. I haven't been preparing for that. There's a huge decision we have to make as a family when 7 years here is up, and I'm pretty sure those 7 years are going to fly right by.

So, starting this Saturday, we have lots going on. Ryan has one of his last soccer games of the season Saturday morning, and then he has a full dress rehearsal of his symphony/orchestra's gala, which is the next day, Sunday. Monday, we're getting stuff with the car figured out, Tuesday is our last outreach forever, Wednesday, Journey is missing Fun Day (field day) to come sew all the uniforms together with me at Melissa's house (which Melissa and I thought was a good idea...her girls won't be participating either, because of how horrendously hot and humid it is during this time of year. Last year, Journey got heat sickness and had to be aided to the nurses office where she stayed for most of the day. I don't want that to happen to her again. I'd rather she opt out.). Thursday is Ryan's 8th grade promotion, Friday is Journey's 5th grade promotion, and Saturday is the bridging ceremony. Then Sunday is a cookie money activity with my girls.

LOTS going on. Very busy time of year, most especially for this year.

Roz is set to be towed to a junkyard Friday at 9 am. I must say my sweet goodbyes to my girl before she goes. I love her, and I will miss her so. I will keep her key with me, the same way I did for Char, to remember her by.



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