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Guided by prompts from WDC blogging challenges... and of course, life |
HI! I'm Jenn - and I'm all over the place (well, at least my mind is). In this blog, I have attempted to gather my thoughts on things prompted/inspired by WDC blogging challenges from "Journalistic Intentions"  , "The Soundtrack of Your Life" , "Blogging Circle of Friends " , "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" and, well, LIFE.    |
| It's been a great September. I'm looking forward to October though. Roasted pumpkin seeds, lots of candy, leaves falling from trees, a hint of decay on the finally chilly air...yup, fall is the time when I come into my own. PROMPT September 30th Wow, it's the end of the month! It's time for our last prompt, and to ask you for any input you may have for future prompts. Here's the prompt for tonight. Where do you want to go on your next road trip? Who would you like to have by your side as you experience this? I would simply like to get into the Jeep with my husband and just go. Pick a direction and just drive. It doesn't really matter where, as long as my sweet Canadian is with me. I know it sounds sappy, but the best road trips have begun this way.      DAY 3243 September 30, 2021 Three months left of 2021, I always find this time of year is great for introspection. Did you accomplish any of the goals you hoped to have completed? Or do you still have time before the year ends? Or have you tossed them into whatever land? I don't generally set goals for myself, unless you consider living a goal. I seem to be doing that fairly well. I threw getting healthy out the window a long time ago. I'm not one to lie to myself that any of my diseases can be cured. I can only be medicated to lessen the effects and maybe give me a wee bit longer to enjoy life and appreciate my family and the world's beauty. |
PROMPT September 29th A different kind of prompt tonight. "Speak soft my name" Tell us your thoughts about it. You don't need to write a review of this poem, read it, tell us what you think. I enjoyed how the poem's energy mimicked a tsunami, slowly building up, peaking, and then ebbing into stillness. I loved it. Beautiful and left me speechless. Day 3242: September 29, 2021 Prompt: Write about forgetfulness. I forgot to remember that I wanted to forget that particular memory. It was a doozy when it hit me again after all this time. My heart clenched just like my fists as I remembered everything: the hurt, the letdown, the emptiness. I remember how I so wanted for it all to never have happened. But of all the memories I had to remember, this is the one that stays. Forgetting would have been so much better on me. |
PROMPT September 28th What kind of goals would you like to work toward over the next five years. My goals for the next 5 years are pretty simple: 1. LIVE 2. get healthier/stronger 3. show loved ones I care 4. find the beauty in each day 5. finally get on SS Disability |
PROMPT September 27th If I realized I am just like everyone else and just as GOOD as everyone else -- that we all struggle but have so much potential -- then when in social situations I would finally be more likely to... Wait. What? Have you been talking to my shrink? This sounds like some of the questions he asks me. Social situations? Those are generally a no-go. I know I am as GOOD as everyone else, I just can't handle the anxiety of being around people. It scares me. So many emotions bombarding me all at one time from everywhere. SO much noise. So many people getting too close to my personal bubble, some infringing on it. But, I get by well as I can. Through the years I have developed a mask, or persona of sorts for dealing with being around people. Keeping that up for undetermined lengths of time can be so tedious though. I've lived with having to be more than just myself for so long, you'd think it would be second nature, but thanks to the pandemic, those coping techniques fell out of use for a while. It's like reintroducing a feral child into human society. I feel I have to watch my P's & Q's in public, and watch my back, and turn down the emotion sensors that are always on. So, I guess the answer would be I'd be more likely to remove my alter ego and show my true self. But still, it isn't lack of belief in myself, it is more distrust of the rest of the world at large.   Day 3240: September 27, 2021 Prompt: What types of stories do you enjoy reviewing? Do you have a favorite WDC author you enjoy reviewing? I enjoy reading and reviewing all kinds of stories. I don't think I really have a favorite kind. Nor do I have a have a favorite author here on WDC that I enjoy reviewing. I love being able to sample works from so many wonderful writers, and WDC is the perfect place to do just that. Everyone brings something different to the table, a new perspective, new ideas, cool new twists on old ideas... How could a person pick just one?! |
| September 26, 2021 - 11:01 PM (Texas time) I wish I could say today has been a good one, but I would be lying, and that is something I try very hard not to do. I'm in the midst of a flare. Lupus has a way of making a person think they're doing good then wham! you're broadsided by a flare of one kind or another. My skin and my kidneys are really feeling it right now. Any small amount of pressure on my skin is agony and there is a rash covering my forearms and elbows and calves. The rash is just tedious, as it keeps me from being able to sleep. The kidneys, well, they have hurt worse before so I'm pretty sure I'll survive. I try so hard to be strong. I hide as much of my pain as I can from my loved ones. I don't want them to worry about me, they do enough of it already. Along with the physical problems, the head meds don't seem to be doing their job either. Maybe I'm just tired from lack of sleep because of the pain & rash and that's what is triggering the depression. I don't know. But, I cried today. Actual tears. It's been a while since I was able to produce tears (I have yet another autoimmune disease to thank for that), so I was strangely happy that I was crying - if that makes sense. If it doesn't, well welcome to my world. Everybody here except me is already lost in dreamland, snoring peacefully. Sleep is eluding me yet again. I wish I could be normal again. Not my normal, but a real normal where life isn't a series of flares and swings and seizures and doctors' visits and hospital stays. I know there are people out there who have it worse than I do. That's a given. But sometimes my circumstances tend to overwhelm me, when it all hits me at once. But, at least I can cry right now. There is that blessing. Hold your loved ones tight everyone. Let them know you love them. Tell them and show them all the time because we never know when we won't ever have that ability again. Have a good night y'all. My heart is telling me it's time to cry again. Maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day. |
PROMPT September 26th Tonight, tell us about something you have never done, but really want to do? Why haven’t you done it? I would love to go on a train ride through the Canadian Rockies, such as the Journey Through the Clouds or the Banff to Calgary one. I haven't been able to experience this wonder yet, as money and time have always been an issue. (Time on my husband's end of things, as I wouldn't go without him). But to see such untamed beauty! Imagine, a week or so of riding the rails through the Canadian wilderness, being lulled to sleep by the scenery that passes by, amazed by the wildlife seen from the warmth and safety of your train car. Blue skies overhead and an ever changing view outside your window. Seeing Nature in all her glory. That would indeed be an adventure!       PROMPT September 25th There's going to be a family gathering. Aunt Bessy is on her way. Uncle Clyde is too. One is bringing sweet-potato pie, the other ham-hocks and greens. Everyone is excited... but Aunt Bessie and Uncle Chuck haven't spoken in 20 years. Tell us what happens at this gathering. Aunt Bessie and Uncle Chuck both arrive within minutes of each other. You could see the awkward tension between them as soon as they realized the other was there. Their eyes locked and they headed straight for the other, all intent in mind of giving the other the a piece of their mind. But Cousin Bo sees what is unfolding before our eyes and jumps into quick action. He gets his sweet little wife Tanya to steer Aunt Bessy toward the kitchen to deposit her ham-hocks and greens on the counter and do some catching up with all the womenfolk, while he corrals Uncle Clyde into the den for some good old fashioned football on the TV. On the way to the den, he hands off the sweet potato pie to one of the kids to take to the kitchen as well. Everyone knows this stunt would only buy so much time before the inevitable explosions would begin. We all looked to Granny Lacey to use her wisdom to defuse the situation. So in her quiet shaky voice, she gave the mealtime prayer. When we were all around the table and had all bowed our heads for prayer, she asked God to help everyone set their differences aside that they might all be grateful for the day and being able to gather with family. This somewhat touched the hearts of Bessy and Clyde and they decided their quarrel could wait for another, less important day. |
| September 24, 2021 PROMPT : We think we know other people, and feel they know us. However, maybe they don't know us as well as they think. Tell us five things friends don’t know about you. (Don't share anything you aren't comfortable with sharing!) 1. I still have night terrors sometimes 2. I actually would like to be a Grandma 3. I am afraid at how quickly my memory is being lost 4. I really don't like doing "girly" things like shopping, makeup, etc. 5. I have absence seizures every day that I haven't told anyone about (until now) ....................................................................................................................................................... DAY 3237 PROMPT: Use this words in your entry: autumn, contentment, attention, season, cider, scarecrows and cornstalks. Autumn is my season of contentment nature a palette that calls my attention tickles my senses in its variety cornstalks drying in the fields will be used to create scarecrows apples and nuts are now ready to harvest while we sip cider and nibble pumpkin bread from a blanket thrown under the trees and leaves in such a host of colors! float slowly down to the waiting ground while small rodents work tirelessly to store food for the winter to come and the slight hint of decay can be smelled in the crisp autumnal air. |
DAY 3236 September 23, 2021 It's still in the 90's here in Vegas, yet it's technically fall and I was craving pumpkin bread. Does anyone think fall and crave fall foods? What's your favorite go to fall dessert? Fall is my favorite season of the year. The leaves turning colors and floating down from the branches, the coolness that the air eventually achieves, and the slight almost mushroom-like underlying scent of decay the leaves take on once they're on the ground. I also enjoy some of the fall scents found on grocery store aisles, but not in excess - I prefer to keep it natural when at all possible. But I also love things like pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie. Fall is also a great time of the year for chili and stews and other heartier meals that seem too heavy during the warmer months of summer. And... I am also one of those strange souls who enjoys candy corn. I can't give a specific reason why, I've just always liked them. ............................................................................................................................................................. I am answering yesterday's and today's prompts since I apparently fell asleep with my computer in my lap last night and never got yesterday's done (This is what happens when one decides to take on more than they can handle all at once) PROMPT September 22nd Do you have a 'Bucket List'? IF so, what's on it? If not, tell us what you would add to it when you start one. I don't really have a bucket list, as I mentioned in my post on Sept. 19 of this year. I have just been trying to live each day as it comes, being grateful for every day I am given. Were I to start one, I might put some travel on it - like visiting Ireland, or more of Canada, or travelling the United States in an RV with the hubby and visiting all sorts of places and playing as many disc gold courses as we could along the way (I'd probably only be able to walk most of them while he played, but I would still very much enjoy it). Maybe I would put on the list to make amends to old friends for our tense parting of ways so many years ago. If I did indeed start a bucket list though, the top of my list would be to not let a single day pass without letting my friends and loved ones know how much I truly care for them. PROMPT September 23rd What life lessons do you believe everyone can benefit from learning? I think that everyone can benefit from not always winning or getting what they want. There are always going to be letdowns in life, might as well get used to it. I also think a good life lesson is to be kind to others. The rewards for being kind to other people benefit both you and the person you are being kind to. Next, the lesson of hard work. Working hard for what you have and need in life gives a sense of accomplishment and pride that cannot be achieved if things are just given to a person. And honesty. Honesty is a big one. Small lies lead to bigger and bigger lies and lies to oneself. Lies ruin relationships and can alter a person's grasp of reality. On the more mundane side of things, learning how to budget finances can go a long way toward helping a person stay afloat in these uncertain times. There are tons more but, I'll let these be my response for now. ............................................................................................................................................................. LIFE 9/23 My body is slowly getting used to the demands of working and being on my feet so much again. But, I am starting to find unexplained bruises on my arms and legs everywhere which the doctors warned me would happen when I first began having to take the blood thinners, but I had not experienced until now due to my lack of doing anything overly strenuous until now. I have been so tired lately too. I have to say, it is a nice feeling, this whole body exhaustion that only comes from exerting oneself. I was so tired when I returned home from work last night that I apparently fell asleep with laptop still in my lap. Yesterday at work was a bit of a challenge for me though. Not physically though. See, the woman who let me go from my last teaching job happened to come to my current place of employment. I honestly would probably still be teaching if she hadn't refused to renew my contract because of my disabilities. There was also a bit of tension because her school tried not to pay some of what they owed me until the courts ruled they had to. So, she walks in to the store. I had a decision to make right then. Do I treat her like all my other customers or should I treat her differently. I decided the best thing to do was treat her like I do everyone else. After all, it is not my place to judge people and for me, life has pretty much moved on. I can't say the same for her. She refused to make eye contact, wouldn't return my greeting, then hurried off into the store to shop. I felt sad for her; that she has been carrying this with her for over a year. It reminded me of when I held onto grudges and guilt alike. I only wish for her the freedom I felt from the weight of all that when I chose to just let it all go and move on. If you feel you did something wrong, make amends if you can and move on with your life. Have a blessed Thursday everyone. |
Day 3235: September 22, 2021 Prompt: Do you collect trinkets? If so, do you have a favorite trinket in your collection? I love collecting trinkets! There are so many of them! Of course, with my measly 313 collected trinkets, I'm not in the running for being a Queen Trinketeer, but I have fun finding them around WDC. I also have quite a few favorites. The Star Wars ones (because, duh, I love Star Wars), all of the different ones showing things and places in nature (I am a tree hugger after all), those with uplifting messages and messages about Christ, and ALL of the the kitties! But there's one that I have that stands out from the rest.   |
| I never thought that going back to work part time would be so exhausting to me. I only got the job a couple days ago and I am already worn completely out. Mentally and physically. It has it's rewards though. I'm no longer feeling I have no purpose and I have something to bide my time. I have been blessed to meet a lot of kind people. And I am being forced to come out of my shell, which is just what I needed to combat this social anxiety problem that has been steadily getting worse over the last couple of years. But, along with being back around people, I have noticed that my tendency to "put on a mask" is still there. Apparently, even though I am quite comfortable with who I am, I don't seem to be ready to allow people who aren't close to me to see the real me. I still feel it necessary to stay very guarded and aloof around people. But, being in a job that has to deal with the public non-stop, I still have to be friendly. So, I put on that mask, even when I am quaking in fear inside because I have to be around so many people. It'll get better, I'm sure. Baby steps and one day at a time - just like always. And I have to remember, life is still just a walk in the park. |
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You're so right, they are definitely perceptive. They know when you need extra attention, and they know when to keep an eye out for you. They are definitely a blessing from God.
