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Here I am! |
| This port contains my musings on writing and life in general. And yes, it is one hundred percent real. I pull no punches, and I co-sign no one. Enjoy. |
| My New Year's Resolution is to stop killing. You heard me. I need to stop killing my relationships with my family and friends, and I need to stop killing myself with self-hatred and loathing. But that would mean I would no longer be able to write such wonderful stories full of hope. All my energy would go into making a "real" life for myself in the "real" world with pretty colors...and laughter...and anonymous sex with a guy just drunk enough to pleasure under the table in my local Applebee's. *sniffle* Who am I kidding? The last time I gave someone hope I gave a blind person directions to a building that had been demolished ten years before. That's right. It was the 12-coal-miners-reported-to-be-alive-when-they-had-really-died kind of hope. Not the good kind of hope. And I couldn't get a guy to please me under the table at Applebee's even if I wanted to. Applebee's doesn't have long tablecloths. Red Lobster does though. Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, leaving my stories behind to start growing up and taking responsibilities for my actions. After all, that's what George W. Bush did when he sent a few hundred thousand troops to war under the impression that Suddam Hussein had Weapons Of Mass Destruction. And of course Laurence Taylor came clean after years of substance abuse. And somewhere...out there...Courtney Love is taking responsibility for her actions by apologizing for flashing a random stranger. I take my New Year's Resolution back. I'll change when all the evil people in the world aren't laughing all the way to the bank for their crimes. Who am I kidding? I'm not going to change. What you read about me is basically what I am. If I have to change to have "good taste", "manners", and a "conscience" so people can like me, then fuck those kinds of people. And fuck New Years. But on the real though---> check out Boondocks on Adult Swim. Here's the link: http://www.adultswim.com/shows/boondocks/index.html |
| I've been working on three different series at the same time. Two of them are posted here, and the other I'm going to publish on another site because of the content. I've got to take the inspiration when I can get it. Sometimes I go entire weeks without any idea of what the hell I should write, and the next month, I see my characters moving around-like a freaking movie-in my head. So I'm taking full advantage now, writing like a mad-woman, getting what little sleep I can, than getting my pen and writing whatever my twisted little mind can cook up. I was lucky I got "The First Love"  and "Coal Part 13: 1st Draft" finished. I thought there was no end in sight! Thanks to everyone who waited patiently for me to finish. I haven't forgotten about getting Kindred#2 up, for all you vampire freaks out there. Things are about to get deliciously dark! But what else would you expect from me? |
| You probably expect me to put aside my prickliness for one post and say "Merry Christmas". To say something about how much my friends and family mean to me, and how to better mankind. Yeah. Some bullshit like that. Fuck Christmas. You can call me a Scrooge, Grinch or whatever. I don't give a shit. Why the fuck would I care about a holiday that advocates lying to children to instill a post-Victorian "innocence" that adults think they should have. Tell kids the truth once in a while. You might be suprised when they turn out pretty decent. With a sense of morality, and not bugging you about bailing them out of jail. I don't need a holiday to tell people I love them, or to give to the poor. That shit's supposed to be done a couple times a year, if you're guilty and you believe your soul depends on that kind of shit. Personally, I don't think that my soul depends on whether or not my mom gets a Magic Bullet for Xmas. A Christian is probably reading this and gasping. Well guess what? Jesus wasn't born on December 25. He wasn't even born in the wintertime. Peep this if you don't believe me: http://www.historychannel.com/exhibits/holidays/christmas/real2.html Yup. All you Christians out there celebrating Christmas are participating in a semi-pagan ritual. So does that mean your soul is at more risk now with you having a big ass pink Xmas tree and cheerfully wrapped presents under your tree? I heard that. Having Xmas fall on Sunday this year does not make it okay. It makes it even more sacriligious. But who am I fooling? Does anyone really give a damn about the truth, as long as they have expensive electronics and the excuse to drink 'til they fall down? Of course not. Happy Fucking Holidays. |
| Goddamn kids. Giving shit they don't understand 3/5 stars. Grumble grumble grumble. I should feel bad about bad-mouthing someone who just gave me a review. They took time out of their busy schedule to tell me what they thought. *Pause* Man fuck that noise, man! What the fuck happened to people reading shit all the way through, several motherfucking times to be sure they don't sound like a dumbass?! Maybe they like sounding like ignorant bastards who wouldn't know Poe from Lovecraft. Who the fuck knows what goes through the minds of these fucking kids?! Yeah, I know, I sound like a bitch, but I swear if I get one more ignorant motherfucker who ruins a 4.5/5 score with a long-winded review written by some miserable geeky newbie fuck who misses the whole point of a story and then tells me need more "work", like they've been on the freaking website for four goddamn years, I'm gonna do a port raid and give them a fucking 0/5 for every five pieces of shit they've got in their port. Cause only ignorant newbs who don't have at least an upgraded membership are stupid like that. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I only like good reviews. "Dreamscapes" deserves a 3.5/5. Hell, it deserves a 2.5/5. But don't try that shit with "The D'rrynger" . At the least it's a 4/5. And if the review I got about "The D'rrynger" was intelligent, and showed that the fucker knew what he was talking about, I would have accepted it. I may be a bitch, but I'm a bitch who knows what I'm talking about.If something about my work confuses you, let me know, and I'll explain it. I'm only pissed at people who only read love stories or books based on movies and ignorantly expect all works of literature to follow their bastardized formulas. READ SOMETHING BY ONE OF THE MASTERS OF LITERATURE! ANYTHING! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S POE, TWAIN, OR SOMETHING BY THE CHICK WHO WROTE "LITTLE WOMEN"! EXPAND YOUR FUCKING HORIZONS AND THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX! Shit. All that yelling made me horny. Now I gotta go downlaoad a few pics off the internet. |
| I've got a poll up for anyone interested in the Coal series--->"Coal ending poll" . I've started a new series, Kindred. The whole plot has been on my mind for a few months, but I wanted to get most of "Coal" out of the way before I started it. It's basically a vampire story without the cliches and angst. For all of you who've read "The Angel and The Vampire" , it has nothing to do with Feras or the angel, in case you're wondering.You can check it out as it progresses day by day --->"Kindred Part 1" I've got to go. I think I just burned down my house. |
| I'm a huge gamer, so what did I do? I became the proud owner of http://www.slgames.net/. Crazy thing to do right? But I figure I make enough cash at this thing, I can put a few things out of their misery. Namelly, my credit card debt. And I'm selling what I know. Where else are you gonna get a copy of Halo 2 for under fifty bucks? brand new? Holy Shit! I think my body just got taken over by the spirit of a car salesman. I guess I better tell Baalzebub and Legion to make room. I've added another song to the songbook, but I don't know how I'm going to end the Coal series. I could do the obvious shit, and make Ciara and Dom live happily ever after, but that shit's too predictable. Maybe I should add chainsaws and zombies. No one would expect that. Or have Zene really be Ciara's mom's ghost. Naw. I think that's been done before. Maybe I should just stick to my original plan and have everything disolve into an orgy of cool whip and mild foot fetishes. What do you guys think? |
| You know the rest. I'm taking a break from my port for a while. I'm starting something big, and all my attention is going to be focused on my l'il hustle. To everyone still working for someone, I feel for you. I really do. Well, this is supposed to be about honesty, right? I really don't give a fuck about you! |
| Right now, my writing is at an all time high. People are reading my stuff and liking it(kick ass) enough that they are checking out stories before they are completed. Big ups to my fans out there! But personally, I might just have to cut someone! Hey, if you want to do something wrong, just do it. Just don't involve my ass if it's something bad. I take enough meds as it is without worrying about stupid shit. I need to get the hell out of here! Give a girl a kit-kat or something so I can get a break! |
| I hate people who don't think before they review one of my items. I had someone who gave me 4/5 stars and claimed that one of my mistakes was not spelling out the numbers of a year. Jigga What? Jigga Who? Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm perfect. Life would suck for me if I was. I just don't like nit-picky people who haven't read more one kind of genre in their entire lives. And another thing. I didn't use years through the entire story. I hate fucking speed-readers even more. Motherfucker! |
| Okay, so I fucked up. I missed an appointment today, though I can't remember what it was for. I missed taking my medication so death was on my mind again today. Mornings are always bad, mostly because the most traumatic things in my life has happened when someone has woken me up. People dying, mostly. Sometimes I wonder if death is a friend or an enemy. I've been fighting it for so long, and in the end, I have an appointment with it anyway. I shouldn't talk like that. I shouldn't even think like that, but it feels like all the fights been sucked out of me. You know, like when someone punches you in the solar plexus. I don't know why that is. Or maybe I do and don't want to admit it. I better take my fucking meds. |
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Oops. That wasn't on the TO DO list. Now I guess I need to look at how much Hulu Plus is because I see the second season is on there. This show reminds me of a book I read recently. Well, last year anyway. 
Mia - Your new neighbor in Blog City