|This port contains my musings on writing and life in general. And yes, it is one hundred percent real. I pull no punches, and I co-sign no one. Enjoy.|
|...over yesterday's verdict in the Casey Anthony trial. The jury couldn't even convict her of child abuse and neglect after she didn't report her kid missing for 31 days? Several mothers have gotten thrown in jail without a body as evidence.
This is so sad. There's no justice for Caylee Anthony, and Casey Anthony is probably going to get rich with a book and/or movie deal.
Excuse me while I vomit.
American justice indeed.
|...so I didn't ask her out.
The thing was, there was someone who was hitting on her on the time, and she had just come back from being out of town, so my timing was horrible. She mentioned that men had been hitting on her while she was away, and she felt pretty bewildered and annoyed by that. I didn't want to add to her annoyance one way or the other. I mean, how big of a douche does that make you if you ask someone out if they're already tired and aggravated?
Hopefully, there'll be a next time, and I'll be able to ask her out.
Wish me luck.
|...and now I have the cojones to finally do something about my feelings. Well, it's more like I want to actually get some sleep tonight instead of worrying about rejection.
So fuck it. I'm going to go ahead and ask her out. One of three things could happen:
1. She's so shocked she doesn't say anything.
2. She politely says "Don't you think you're a little young?"
3. She says yes. And then something comes up and she cancels on me anyway.
Maybe I'm overthinking things. I have a tendency to do that. I just don't want to make her feel uncomfortable around me. We see each other for semi-social reasons, and it would really suck to have her start avoiding me all of a sudden.
I guess what I'm hoping for is a quick yes or no, either way. Nothing too awkward, or painful, but by my calculations, this is going to be...memorable. Either for her reaction, or the way I end up asking her out. Will my voice crack at the. wrong moment? Will I not be able to make eye contact? Or will I simply freeze up and start talking about an entirely different topic to absolve my momentary hysterical nervousness?
I'll let you know tomorrow. ;)
|1I want to say how great it is that New York has legalized gay marriage! It's been a long time coming since Stonewall, and I'm glad that New Yorkers of any sexual orientation can have their serious relationships recognized under the law if they choose to. Here's to hoping that the federal government will pass a law granting all gays and lesbians the same right in the rest of the nation.
I caught a snippet or two of Pretty Little Liars this week. I think it's awesome that Emily got a replacement love interest, but it's still disappointing that they didn't bring back Maya. And I still can't get over the fact that the actress who played Maya is damn near thirty! If they end up moving Em to Texas, I am going to be sooooo pissed! That cute little Filopino lesbian is the only reason I watch.
Jill Scott's new album is out this week, so I'll listen to the whole thing on youtube before I download what I want on iTunes. I can't say I'm a giant fan, but I like her body of work. Cross My Mind, Golden, My Love, and The Way are a few of my favorites.
Speaking of singers, Lauryn Hill is pregnant with her sixth child, so no new album or tour. Damn, am I ever gonna see any new material from her? Am I going to be satisfied with TMOLH for the rest of my life? Smh.
I'm glad the forest fires have finally died down in my neck of the woods thanks to a few tropical storms. It was getting rediculous after about a month of non-stop burning. You know things are fucked up when you see nocturnal animals like racoons and armidillos in the middle of the day. It was so smoky that I missed the lunar eclipse a few days ago.
Oh, and since someone requested it, here is the full list of the Morgan and Katrina saga in chronological occurance of events:
1."Friendship Part 1"
2."Friendship Part 2"
3."Friendship Part 3"
4.Friendship Part 4 - Incomplete
5.Friendship Part 5 - Unwritten
10."Thanksgiving With The Richards"
11."Christmas With The Brownes"
Whew! Talk about a labor of love!
|For the past couple of weeks, I've been going through my archived stuff and realized that I have a lot of buried gems. Here's a basic laundry list of my untyped work:
1. A queen on a quest to find the perfect mate(basically the end of "The Queen of Sed: Search for a King" )
2. An erotic romance that involves a very unusual matchmaking service
3. A half-finished novel about werecats
4. My original attempt at writing: a action/adventure story set in Ancient Nubia
And bits and pieces of other stuff that didn't hold my attention past ten pages. Even though I don't intend on resurrecting any of these stories online, it's refreshing to "go back in time" and see how I wrote back in the day. My work used to be anti-Buffy, anti-mainstream, pretty much the reverse of everything I thought was wrong with the santized, clean-cut media of the 90s and early 2000s. But while I was so deadset on being anti-whatever, I wasn't really working on developing my own style, and good plot development. My characters seemed to fall flat, with little if any history to keep a reader invested, not to mention the fuck-and-run attitude that most of them seem to have. Looking back on some of the things I started writing ten years ago, I have to actually laugh at what I considered to be good fiction. Well, maybe it was good for a teenager. LOL
Today a lot has changed, but I'm still a little anti-whatever. I try to get away from girl-flick type romance and over-sexualized eroticism by maintaining a tenuious balance between the two. My fantasy and science fiction pieces are set in unfamiliar places but become familiar through three-dimensional emotional characters. I wouldn't say that my stories are perfect, but I'd say that they're awesome. And still getting better.
Is there anyone else out there that who can see an improvement between what they've written years ago, and the way they write now?
|Even after nearly a week, I am still pissed. And I did the right thing.
I was at a book club meeting on Sunday, and this chick goes in on my starsign by saying they're all liars. Now, I could have said that her starsign consisted of all that is wrong with the world(scorps) but I didn't go there. I simply said that you can't judge a person by their starsign. I don't believe in wallowing in the muck of ignorance. If you want to judge someone based on their sunsign, you do you. Just be respectful about it.
But even after a week, I seriously want to punch that chick in the mouth. Just for the principle of the thing. I don't like disrespect, especially when you don't know me. I meab this lady is old enough to be my mom, and she judges people by their sign, totally ignoring the fact that astrology takes into consideration all nine planets in all twelve houses. Not just the sun sign. In other words, unless you know someone's date and place of birth, you still don't know jack shit about their personality as whole. For instance, even though I'm supposed to have an intense sunsign, other factors, such as the placement of mercury and moon kind of balance out the intensity and make me come off as laidback.
And for the most part I am laidback. Until someone calls me a fucking liar.
|I'm in a bit of a pickle. Not to sound like a nervous high school student, but I have a bit of a crush.
The mature thing to do would be to just ask her out, but since we attend most of the same activities, a rejection would be hella awkward.
Not that this situtaion isn't awkward enough. I mean, I don't have a preference when it comes to any particular race, but I've never been attracted to someone who's been this much older than me.
Argh. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I've tried waiting out my feelings, hoping they'll go away, but no such luck. It would be one thing if I was more outgoing, and I immediately jumped any woman I wanted, but that's just not me. Maybe it's a patttern, but everyone I've ever dated has pursued me. Pretty hard as a matter of fact. I've been cornered in a Walmart in the middle of my shift, and given phone numbers(not that I work at Walmart anymore, though) I've never had to pursue anyone, so I'm a bit out of my depth.
I guess there's a first time for everything.
|First off, I have to apologize if I've lost any fans out there for my apparent lack of updating. I've been working my ass off trying to get you guys some stuff, but I'll never post slipshod work. That's just not my way. Friendship part 4 still isn't complete, because it's huge. It's my biggest piece yet, and although it's over sixty pages long, it's still not finished. I'm not going to promise any dates on it's completion either. Having a reputation as a promise-breaker is something I'm trying to get away from. If it's done, you know where I'll post it first.
But I will tell you what I'm done with. "Love Trend" is a prequel to "Admission v.1" . It felt like I was starting things off in the middle, and since I had already backtracked to Morgan and Katrina's college days, I figured it was high time I went back and covered the whole relationship between Morgan and Eva. Anyone who is "Team Egan" instead of "Team Morkat" will definitely like this one. I'll be posting that for sure sometime today.
I've got another short story up, a bit of a quickie that I was inspired to write about while on vacation. For the record, it is not autobiographical. Well...most of it isn't. ;) "Cafe au Lait"
As for "Visionary Part 1: 1st Draft" , it's actually going to be relabeled Visionary: 1st Draft pretty soon, so don't be confused. After thinking long and hard about it, I didn't think Natrea's reaction was too realistic given her frame of mind, so I'm in the process of redoing the entire piece over. The basic concept will be the same, but the characters will be a little rough around the edges, less one dimensional. Sorry if you prefer the beginning of the story to be all sugary sweet, but it is what it is. I'll leave the first draft in my port for people who really like it.
And now for my big announcement: All my Morgan & Katrina related items will be condensed into novel form. Woo! I've actually been thinking about doing this for a few years now, I just liked the way everything was formatted as seperate short stories. Now that I've got the majority of the short stories written, and halfway decent-looking, now I'm ready to make the leap into turning them into a cohesive book. With what I've written already and what I plan to write, I know I have at least three books on my hands, so hopefully I'll have a tidy little trilogy published.
Yep. I said it. Once everything's the way I want it, I'm getting the Morgan and Katrina saga published, so consider all this early stuff an early taste of what's to come.
I want to send a big thank you to everyone who's supported me and given me geniuine feedback for all my work so far, and the one's who still take the time out to pop into my port and see what I'm up to. You guys keep me motivated to keep writing.
Stick around! It only gets better from here!
|How's that for broken promises? I didn't get around to doing that "massive overhaul" of my port that I originally planned, due to an illness in the family, but anyway, this is what's up:
As always, I've been writing pretty steadily over the past few months, though my output has decreased considerably. Honestly, Friendship Part 4 has been one of the toughest pieces I've ever had to write, and it's stirred up a lot of bittersweet emotions I don't enjoy reliving. But, anywho I see the light at the end of the tunnel, so it shouldn't be too much longer before I have it listed for public consumption...lol.
The status of Visionary Part 2? I honestly don't know. I've written about five pages of it, and skipped around to the end. Strangely, the middle of a story is always the hardest to write. At least it is for me.
I've got other ongoing projects, such as a werewolf novella, my first short dealing with a polyamorous relationship(I warned you I'm pushing my limitations!), and a few more lesbian short stories.
Wish me luck, and I'll let you know when I've got them posted.