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Rated: E · Book · Emotional · #2093535
One man's journey to find the way home
          I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from.
          After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit.
          I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY?
          Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation....
WELCOME!!
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July 24, 2022 at 2:16pm
July 24, 2022 at 2:16pm
#1035633
I give thanks not knowing for sure what the future holds. Be with me Lord. Give me confidence. I walk with faith to share with others faiths gift.
July 23, 2022 at 4:08pm
July 23, 2022 at 4:08pm
#1035597
What a lousy time in ER and all the people I the system pay the price. An ambulance taking my wife relays the seriousness of the matter. It is life and death. And the fact she goes back to ER where rooms are says to they respect our concern. But then we are left to languish for over 5 hours without as much as a hello or even we can not see you for a while. It was past ridiculous. No one should have to endure the suffering of not knowing as more and more people take priority over concern for us and watching people leave and feeling no closer to being seen. We were both exhausted. Now what? The chest pains don't magically disappear. Ouch
July 21, 2022 at 6:26am
July 21, 2022 at 6:26am
#1035515
I am sleepy. So much to wake up to and for today. God grant me wisdom to rest when I can. Thanks for giving me opportunity to write the ship. I pray as I dare to write I might bless others.
July 19, 2022 at 8:23am
July 19, 2022 at 8:23am
#1035418
I get to do CPR. I at need it for myself. I am kind of tired of late. I do enjoy my time with the guys.
July 18, 2022 at 6:36am
July 18, 2022 at 6:36am
#1035344
One more day off before it all gets interesting. Happy to be a month from my birthday. I am close to my goal. Be with me God.
July 17, 2022 at 3:28pm
July 17, 2022 at 3:28pm
#1035324
I really need to take another look at what makes one day work and another fail. I took the guys to a ball game. On the surface a sure win after all they would not be able to go without me.

A lot can go wrong along the way though. The guys were left with no money for refreshments. In some respects this is their idea of why to go. They want a beer and hot dog. That gets worked out to where I get reimbursed.

Then our van is in the shop and we have an old timer. It hurts to get the tie downs. One needs to be rigged or a guy gets left behind. What is sad is he half expects it to be enough for him to stay home.

We get back in enough time for staff to leave. One of the residents who did not go got in lots of trouble. I never did find out what kind of trouble. And a few minutes after the staff leaves another comes which makes no sense. I am not scheduled to leave. I watch this staff site in a chair and at games. It was obviously a communication glitch. I do some work and leave early, tired and yet glad to be with Sharon.

I put pictures up on Facebook and it looks good enough. I did my job. The Red Sox lose 14 to 1. My phone gets a small crack. It was a full day and I survived life is getting better.
July 16, 2022 at 7:30am
July 16, 2022 at 7:30am
#1035270
We all have bad days. The bigger adult question is what can we redeem from it? An eight mile walk is cause enough for concern. I was frustrated with my wife's criticism. I chose a way out. I walked eight miles from the restaurant and was almost thrilled to survive. Of course she was still angry. I had by that time "walked it off". I had no cause to fight and eventually we met in the middle. It was a high cost to pay. She felt terrible about being not at all nice. It was hard to sleep. I was exhausted. Yet the Red Sox won and my sister replied to a self deprecating text. Maybe they do want me to, not the hurting and suffering me as the only me that matters. Time will tell
July 14, 2022 at 2:38pm
July 14, 2022 at 2:38pm
#1035202
Sleepy is my state of mind. Why bother getting up. I continue to walk and run. I need to average about 30,000 steps a day for another million steps. God give me strength.
July 12, 2022 at 12:18pm
July 12, 2022 at 12:18pm
#1035078
Depression, a lonesome friend, loathesome at the same time. How do I get out of my own way. Another day to work. How many more is the question. 85 percent or more money made for the year,vno including pension. Just plain worn out about halfway there.
July 10, 2022 at 12:41am
July 10, 2022 at 12:41am
#1034967
Seven hours to go. I need to stop beating myself up. I did myself disservice getting involved in old relationships that I need to be done with. The bigger question is will I be on the van at church. Time will tell.

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