One writer's journey
She sat down at her old wooden desk, pen at the ready. Her thoughts raced. What shall I write today? Tilting her head to the side, a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth before enveloping her delicate face. The purple ink began to fill the once blank sheet, each stroke a labor of pure joy as the words flowed from her mind, her heart, her very soul.
to write of romance and endless love
to love without boundaries
to learn from past mistakes
to laugh with all my heart
to be the woman I am meant to be
I will reach for the stars
Will not give up
Will give all that I have
Dare to dream the impossible dream
For anything in this life is possible
|Another round of "JAFBG" by Elle
Prompt: What is the dumbest rule you've ever had to follow?
So R is Muslim, practices Islam. But that religion has split itself into two different not sure what they call it but there is Sunni and Shia or Shiite. I'm not going to get into which one he is, but I am going to talk about the insanity I see in the people he has to put up with, meaning the people I get trapped interacting with.
You should see their faces when they find out he's opposite of them. Oh the fucking horror of it! It's like somehow he's got the plague. Oh they are so nice to his face, but you can see the simmering hatred lurking with their little jibes. I cannot tell you how many times I've opened my mouth to lash back out over the years and he's stopped me just to keep the peace.
So the dumb rule of course is to play nice. Say what? Why do I have to be all nice when they have no issues opening their mouths and showcasing what assholes they truly are? No, I don't wanna be the bigger the person. No, I don't give two shits how they feel about me. After all, I am...dare I say it? American! Hello, fuck heads. You are living in MY country. OMG HE married an American woman! And when they find out I was raised Catholic, why that's just another slap in the face. Truth be told, I kinda get off knowing how much that annoys the shit out of them. How many times must I tell people I'm unique? So I usually sit there, listening to their constant bullshit until I get bored and start playing Candy Crush on my phone. Which just makes the drive home a constant rant because I have loads to say about stupid people.
I cannot relate to most of these women. They live to show off. There's one in particular that wastes all her money on flashy clothes, purses, shoes, etc. And it's not like she bought it cause she likes it. Nope. She buys them to show the rest of us that she can. When she shows up and we're all sitting around, she twirls that handbag around until we all ooh and ahhh over her latest $2000 purse. Bitch please! Give me that 2k and I'll show you what it's like to do some real shopping. I'm a Guess purse whore. I admit it. But fuck if I'm gonna pay full price for that, and even if I did, it's nothing compared to the money she spends on a purse. Burberry and Louis Vuitton. What pisses her off is I never comment. I never say it's nice or beautiful. And she loves to tell me how lucky I am that I don't care about those things. Bitch please, it ain't luck. It's called having a brain. I suggest you take your money and try to buy yourself one cause the day Allah was giving them out, you must've been in another place and time. Literally!
Most of them have cleaning ladies. Fuck's sake I had hand surgery and couldn't use it for months and I didn't have that luxury. So they hire a cleaning woman, and then proceed to bitch about what a shitty job she does and how they go around cleaning after her. Are you fucking kidding me? So you really are that dumb eh? Cause I'd be damned if I'd spend $150 for someone to come in and clean my house and then turn around and clean after them. What is the fucking point? Please someone tell me cause me and my brain cannot comprehend this kind of logic.
Now I admit my marriage is far from perfect, and there are gaps that will probably never close because of our culture clash, but some of the things these people tell me is downright shocking. It's like a game how they manipulate their spouses and then turn around and brag about it. Case in point. The one woman who complains constantly about things that need to be done at their house. They need new ceramic tile in their living room. And she will complain and argue with her husband for as long as it takes until the day he suggests that they have it redone. And then what does she do? She pats him on the back for such a great idea all the while laughing about how she got her way. She constantly shops online and hides the credit card bills. Okay, I admit I've done this, but it's My credit card. I don't do that shit with Rs. And then when he asks her about things she's bought, she LIES. Right to his face! Oh don't you remember, WE bought THIS last year! Yeah right. And I'm Miss America 2016!
Man I could just write forever about these people and shit I see when I'm with them. But thankfully, we have been banned from the group. I really should thank them for being such back stabbing fuckers that pissed R off, cause he's finally getting things done around my house. And I must say I'm liking my house tons now! So much pretty now! All the clutter and crap is being tossed out every week! And I don't have to listen to constant babble about which store is having a sale, and how much money I spent, and how my kid needs a $200 pair shoes and they're only 6! I do wonder how long this rift will really last though. It's that time of year when we used to go to Mexico. And I'm 1000% sure if they go without us, their trip will suck ass because R and I were the ones that made those trips fun. Wait and see. They will go, and realize what they are missing and come running to suck up. I could be wrong, but I just have this vibe going off telling me it will happen. Not to mention who's gonna fix all their electronics when it breaks. Can't call R over now can ya?
Being nice is overrated. Being nice to people who clearly don't deserve, well I'd say I deserve a fucking medal for that!
|It's Friday Bitches! well, what's left of it anyway. I have spent the last few hours sleeping, and cannot seem to stay awake long so I figured I'd better knock this puppy out before I crashed for a third time. Shit. You'd think I'd had Turkey for dinner. Ok, moving on.
Today's entry for "JAFBG" by Elle is going to follow along with Kittiara and SB Musing . Thank you ladies!
Prompt:What is something about yourself that annoys you?
Where to begin. I am that people pleaser all complete with that purple bow. The one who struggles with saying that fucking word no. When did that word become such a pain in the ass? Looking back over the years I really cannot say for sure, but it certainly seems to have disappeared from my vocabulary when something is asked expected of me. I say expected because that's just how it goes around here. Every knows if they want something, whatever it is, just ask. I get volunteered for shit all the time, like I have nothing better to do. Totally pisses me off. So instead of saying that loathsome word, I suck it up and wind up ranting through the house, in my car, wherever I may be like a freakin lunatic.
You may look at me in my car and think I'm singing some heavy lyrics, but half the time I ranting to my car. Cause no one is listening anyway. And if I begin to say no, that bitch named guilt rears its ugly ass head and takes a nice jab at me to make sure those two little letters don't make it out of my mouth.
It drives me absolutely batty, yet I've become so accustomed to it over the years I can't seem to find my voice. How come I can rant so beautifully that it would make most people cringe the second I start, but yet that word seems so elusive?
There must be an answer somewhere as to the why of it all, but I have yet to figure it out.
Isn't it ironic how guilt and the word no seem to go hand-in-hand?
And the one thing that has made me lose my damn mind lately is that friggin sweet tooth that has seemed to kick in since surgery in January. I crave sweets like 24/7. Since my complete hysterectomy my migraines have stopped, and I can eat chocolate again. Awesome right? Fuck an A, no! I want chocolate, I need it, crave it, will search through the damn house seeking it out just to try and tame the beast. My latest addiction is brownies and ice cream. If I don't have brownies, I've been taking vanilla ice cream with Hershey's syrup and then I add peanut butter M&Ms to the mix. Cause I must have my peanut butter fix. And did you see they now have this new Reese mix. That fucker is like $5 for a small bag. So of course I'm waiting to get my hands on one.
If there is a cure for a reignited sweet tooth, please let me know cause this bitch is outta control. I have a damn wedding in two months and at this rate I'll never find anything decent to wear. Mother of the Groom must find something awesome to wear, but by the looks of things that's not gonna happen.
Damn hysterectomy. Damn menopause. Damn sweet tooth and damn guilt and the word no. You can all just go fuck right off as far as I'm concerned!
|Prompt: What are you getting really fucking sick of?
This fucking election of course! I mean seriously how much stupid shit can one person say or do in the course of running a campaign? Apparently an entire boatload of spewing shit and then some. I was in a desperate race to finish my I Write Romance entry for the week and get it posted Sunday night, but that let's see who can be the biggest dickhead pissing contest just kept interrupting me. Poor Kittiara had to put up with my play-by-play, ranting, outrage and frustration as the clock ticked closer to midnight and my story had no ending.
I just don't get it. They actually told parents to send their children to bed, knowing it was going to be an ugly display of the worst of us, and if that's what you were looking for, well that's you got.
Now I'm just going to admit right now that I'm no Trump fan. I mean, have you actually looked at that comb over or the constant pout of his lips? Just the thought of kissing that makes my skin crawl. I only got one word for it. Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! No thank you! More power to you Melania for sucking face with that.
Did you see the way he stalked Hilary around the stage? Was he off his meds? My God man they saved you a seat. And then I remember. Oh yeah, he's a narcissist who thinks only he is right. Who believes their shit don't stink. Dude, it came out of your ass, of course it's going to stink! Unless of course someone really did shove a dozen roses up there, and even then I'd be skeptical.
I got on the no robo call hook up, but that doesn't stop all of the political calls. And then there's the junk mail flooding my entryway when they shoot that stuff through the slot.
So I'm gonna put this as nicely as possible. Hurry up November and come and save us from this insanity, cause I'm pretty sure if you don't, the entire country will lose what's left of its damn mind. As for the candidates, I WANT to know what you're gonna do for me. If you can't do that, then please SHUT THE FUCK UP. I don't want to hear the blame. I don't want to hear you complain how you were treated unfairly because you didn't get your two full minutes to speak. Let's face it, U decided to use that potty mouth of yours to sling shit across the stage, so I'd stay you aren't entitled to another second. I don't care about your bloody damn emails. I don't care what who your spouse has done. Please, for God's sake, quit your bitching. It's not attractive.
Tell me what you're going to do for me. Tell me how I'm going to have more money. Tell me how you're going to make it so I can actually pay off my debt. Or that insane student loan upwards of 70K my kid has to pay back. Tell me already. And if you can't, well that just sucks for you cause you'll never have my vote.
In case you missed this little gem, here it is! We could all use a good fucking
Courtisy of your Potty mouthed Purpleprincess "JAFBG" by Elle
|Ugh. Can this day get any worse? With my luck, more than likely. So I slept like crap. Thank you surgical menopause for keeping me miserable and exhausted.
So Ds car wouldn't start. It's slowly been getting more difficult to start these past few weeks. It's been in the shop, we changed the spark plugs, hoping that would fix it, put premium gas. Nope. So I drive him to school because he refuses to drive my truck. What a pita. Well that turned out to be a God send that he didn't take it.
AAA says they will be here in 40 minutes. Oh yes I'll be to work on time nope. They just got here, took the car. I grab my crap, head out to my car, and....It won't start. I mean what the fuck. It's bad enough to have one car in the shop, but two? At the same fucking time! Shoot me now.
I call R, he's on his way so I thought a proper rant of the beginning of my day was in order.
Oh, and of course today is the day the electric company is taking down all the trees in my yard. Which of course is blocking my driveway. Why have easy access with a tow truck, right? R wanted to give them money to trim the other big trees in the yard, but they could get fired for that. So that's not happening. So here I sit waiting. Waiting for R to come with the jumper so I can get my truck running. And that's if its the friggin battery.
So I just want to say.
HAPPY CRAPPY MONDAY
Hope your Monday is going better than mine!
I know it's not this weeks prompt, but I'm going with it anyway cause it's my damn blog and I can
"JAFBG" by Elle
|Another exciting entry for:
Prompt: What/Who is highly overrated?
Celebrities ~ Kardashian's
I don't even know why these fucking people are famous to begin with! I mean come on, what have they done to contribute to society? To get on the front pages of every news outlet imaginable? Someone please tell me cause I don't fuckin get it. AT ALL! Hell if all it takes these days to get famous is being a social media whore, well for fucks sake, it's no wonder my published books are sitting on Amazon going nowhere.
Celebrity is so overrated in the US. Yet people flock to it like it's the second coming of Jesus Christ.
We are spoon fed this constant nonsense as if somehow digging into their lives matter more than our own. Didn't you hear about Brangelina? No? Well Hells Bells! You must be living under a rock. Why is it any of our business or concern what these people do? Why do people care so damn much? How does it make our lives so much better?
It doesn't! Exactly. If society seriously feels it needs all of this shit to make themselves feel better as they digest the rise and fall of celebrities, then, Yo people! You've clearly missed the boat.
Take a left <--- that way and keep on going to the ends of the earth and ride that bitch right off the cliff.
|Prompt: Which trend/fad needs to die in a fire immediately?
"JAFBG" by Elle
I was going to do something else and fuck with everybody on the trinket train, but thought better of it . I'm not tellin what that was cause it's still running in my head so I may just do it after all.
What fad makes me want to rip my hair out and run around screaming my head off like a lunatic? Why that would be the use of the word GAH instead of GOD Because saying the word God is just oh so offensive. Gimme a damn break. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And right at the top of the what the fuck were you even thinking list would be the fact that GAH isn't even a damn word.
I do not even understand why anyone [in their right mind, mind you] would even consider using Gah in place of God in the first place. I would be more impressed if they attempted the valley girl version ya know. It's like ohmy gawd! Fer sure! Like totally!
Do they really think God will look down upon them more kindly? Shit. Get a grip people. God is probably up there covering his ears wishing to make it stop. Oh I can see it now. They used that wannabe word Gah again. that's one step down the ladder to hell for every offense! Oh yeah, I'm with you God. All the way!!
So for those of you who just cannot say the word of the Almighty Creator for fear of offending...hmm, I honestly have no earthly idea. I've just got one thing to say to you.
|Prompt: Tell us about some of the qualities that make people 'small dose friends' (friends you can't spend too long with without getting annoyed by them)
It's Friday Bitches!!
Ah, yes, those people who think their shit don't stink and have the ability to suck the life right outta you before you can even sit down. Let's just put it all out there. Shall we?
The Show Off
These are the ones that wear a new shirt/shoes/coat/jewelry and expect you to fawn all over them about it. Or carefully place their expensive purse in the center of the table and are constantly digging into it to make sure the rest of us notice and comment on it. Now, I was a serious tomboy growing up. I admit that. But I grew up and I love being able to match my purses to my clothes. In fact, I'm a Guess Purse Whore, and I am damn proud of it. But, I never pay full price. I refuse to. And I sit back and wait for the pretty things to go on sale before I spend a dime. And I do not flaunt them. But these people, oh no. To them, a sale means lying about what they really paid, and bragging about the $1000 they just dropped! For a damn handbag! Are you fucking kidding me?!?! Do you know what I could do with a hot grand? The list is long I kid you not.
These pain in the asses are the ones who envy everything you wear/do/have and don't even hide their jealousy. Nope, they flat out ask where you bought something so they can go buy one for themselves. Some of Rs friends make me sick because they constantly do this. I keep telling him to start lying. They are on a need to know basis, and these assholes Don't Need To Know!
The Whine Bag
We all know these people. They love to complain about EVERYTHING, and I mean everything. It's like a game, or a sickness or something. I haven't figured out just which it is yet. My all time fave is this one lady who talks about all her stomach problems, how she's lactose intolerant,
and then turns around and devours every dairy product in sight, only to whine about how much pain she's in later. Give it up. I ain't buying the shit you're sellin'.
They show up and act shocked that something has happened to you, and go out of their way to show you how much they care. Faker! Because believe me, the second you are out of their sight, they've forgotten all about you.
Oh these wonderful hemorrhoids that KNOW everything, pretend they don't, and shoot their mouths off. They always have a plan. Anything you say and do they are right there, taking it all in so they can twist fact into fiction and put themselves at an advantage over you. They have no problem lying just to prove a point. Or using whom ever they choose to get you on their side so they can manipulate the shit outta you. Just sit back and watch, usually someone else will point out the truth in their lies, and you can bet your sweet ass they will pull a valid excuse from their vault of previous cons to get out of the fire.
I could go on. The point is, most of these people are fake friends, the ones that zap your energy and mess with your happy, and to top it off, they ENJOY it. Get off on it. I have practically bit my tongue in half on multiple occasions keeping my opinions to myself just to keep the peace.
"JAFBG" by Elle
|Going to do some double duty today since I'm falling way behind on everything.
First prompt: What are your pet peeves? What little things irk you and piss you off?
Biggest is those fucking idiot drivers. You know the ones who go on the inside of a Michigan turn and instead of staying on the inside of the four lane road, swing as far right as possible and screw up the natural order. Hey asshole, you're in the left lane, stay in the left two lanes. Don't make my ass stop because you grabbed your drivers license from the inside of a Cracker Jack Box!
Or how about that beautiful little gizmo on your car on the steering column. I mean they put it there cause it looks pretty right? You don't need to actually use it to alert me that you intend to turn, right? My biggest issue is I like my car. For if I didn't, I would probably smash right into you for being an asshole driver and teach you a lesson.
Oh and hey dude riding my ass. Yeah you. Go on, keep thinking I'm going to speed up, or move to allow you to pass. The best was just last week. I was coming home from work, in a decently good mood until this jag off starts riding my bumper. My street was busy, the speed limit is 30 mph and for the record, I'm an at least 5 mph over kinda girl. So he's riding my ass for about a mile now. I'm getting closer to home, can't wait to just pull into the driveway. There's a stop sign two houses from me. My house is on the right. I stop at the stop sign, like you're supposed to. And since I don't have far to go I'm not flying to get into my drive. I hit the turn signal, and that shit head blows the stop sign and tries to go around me on the left. Oh hell no! I'm not having that. I do this wide swing out to the left cutting him off and turn right into my driveway! That'll teach you!
Prompt 2: Tell us about a time you 'stuck it to the man' or got one over on someone
I used to work at City Hall, building and safety department so all I know what we are allowed to do with and without a permit. But, screw them assholes who play favorites and let others off while us working class poor people have to pay permit fees and crap. You guessed it! We poured cement and didn't get a permit. A city employee ratted me out. But the inspector just left a note saying no permit for front steps. Oh hell we poured a walkway, another walkway and patio too. So I apply for permit, only with the one walkway and one step. They come out to inspect it. For the rest, I took advantage of the fall leaves and scattered them all over the walkway leading to the patio! The inspector knew me so we got to talking and he never saw the rest of the cement! Ah, my bad. What can I say? That was ten years ago. I imagine I'll get busted at some point, but not today!
"JAFBG" by Elle
|Entry for: "JAFBG" by Elle
Prompt: What do you fantasize about doing but know you'd never get away with?
I saved this prompt for last because it's hard to narrow down. For me, the way these past few months have gone, I'd have to say escorting bitchy pain in the ass customers right out of the door and colorfully telling them never to come back. In a perfect world, I would do this in a heartbeat, but I know I depend on them to pay my bills and take care of my kids. We are in a word of mouth business, so if I actually bitched someone out and told them not the let the door hit them in the ass on the way out, it would get around.
Not to mention R would probably kill me.
It's not easy working with the public. Their problems become our problems. But it makes me absolutely nuts when they come flying into the office and except us to drop everything and put them first. I mean really? Did you not see the parking lot is full out there? Just which customer do I toss aside because you need your car fixed right this second?
Most of the time I roll my eyes and pretend to be looking at the computer screen. I know people have caught my less than stellar facial expressions before, but I really don't care.
The ME society we now life in just irritates me constantly. It physically makes me sick when I sit and think about it.
For those individuals who deem themselves all that and a bag of chips. Who demand and expect everyone to stop what they're doing to put them above everyone else. I have one thing to say to you.
I hate to break it to you, but Yes, you're shit does stink! Get over yourself and move on!
|Prompt: Choose one of the wastes of space in your life and tell us why they piss you off so much
"JAFBG" by Elle
Ah, at it again. Now you know I couldn't resist bitching about my crappy neighbors. This time I'm just going to hone in on the littlest monster next door, cause that's what he is. Me no lie!
It's a holiday weekend. Yea!! One extra day to stay at home and get things done here. By dinner time the crew was getting hungry. So I went outside to fire up the grill, and of course those assholes were outside, swimming, screaming, and just being the neighborhood pita's that they are. I'm playing Candy Crush on my phone, waiting for the grill to heat up so I can cook BBQ Chicken Breasts YUM! When I hear...
"Your fat. And your ugly. Why are you so fat?" the little monster says to his cousin.
I'm thinking, what are these people teaching their kids? I could've sworn I heard the parents out there, but not a reprimand, nothing.
So he continues to trash talk his cousin, and the very second the cousin decides he's not playing with him, he starts crying. I mean like literally crying. Did he apologize? Nope, just whined until his cousin got back in the pool.
The chickens on the grill now.
"Why are you so fat? Why do your nipples look like that? Your nipples are ugly."
His cousin must be a saint because I didn't hear a word. I come into the house and ask R where he wants to eat. He says outside. I cringe, because that means our little family dinner will include all the shit going on next door. I ask, are you sure? The little shit is out there talking trash. R wants to eat outside still. Alrighty then.
I set the table, and the boys return from Micky Ds with the fries. [so nice it's two blocks down on the left]. Danny is sitting across from me when all hell breaks loose next door.
Apparently the parents have realized we are outside and are trying to get their little monster to be quiet. Good luck there. It's a little late to tame that beast in my opinion.
Two minutes later, if that, he must have really pissed off his cousin, because he starts screaming and crying about the other kid not playing fair. Now the adults are involved, constantly saying...shhhh, be quiet, shhhh. Yeah, that works. NOT!
Less than a minute later he's all happy, yelling, telling his cousin what to do in the pool. R, Zak, Danny and I are all talking about them, how that kid is a brat, and every time he whines we laugh. I mean you'd think they were in our yard because they are so damn loud.
Dinner is finished and I'm standing now having a smoke. And that kid starts bawling like he's dying. Apparently his cousin dunked him under water. Oh no! He begins to scream and cry and tell his dad that he was drowning. I wish. Well that had the three of us laughing. And I mean seriously laughing. Which must have annoyed the parents to hear us laughing at their bratty child, because they went inside the house to escape us! I couldn't stop laughing, tell R, see, I told you. Drama. That kid is the biggest brat. He screams, then cries, then happy again, then screams, cries and then happy, and so on, and so on.
One by one they all headed inside. I finish cleaning up and look at R on the couch. That's it? You're staying in side? He gives me this look like I just asked him the most ridiculous question ever! I said, I guess were not going to be burning the papers tonight in the fire pit. He says no.
Ok, that means I can hang on my pc and WdC! Which I did.
All I know at this point, is that Winter may be turning into my favorite season, since it's the only time it's quiet outside. My neighbors suck, but they were good for a laugh yesterday. If I didn't laugh, I'd probably be hopping the fence to confront them!