I really like this as is but I share some thoughts:
Now go the hell away. Very good use of this line. I'd make it the title unless a specific event or place comes to mind. Like "Workshop, May 32nd, Highway-to-Hell, Nevada".
I'd find active verbs for each use of 'is' and replace each 'the'. Like "May's sky screams blue; Spring's sea blooms green". This provides a season and action, sound, something.
Could use a grammar check unless you like it as is. Grammar is less important in poetry; this isn't an essay. For a definite pause (like for rhythm) you can use an emdash instead of a comma like: "I kid you not — nature's obscene,"
To add "darkness" to it... this is that season...
Explorers with lost souls explore,
Search worlds they've never searched before,
They'll kid you not — forevermore,
Now go the hell away.
Hummel Rex lee promote her account from the airline
I party watts towers of all
For ideas of the bear like a sunflower
To walk with a reason
Don't be afraid of the unknown of the ground
There you'll be edit hits and it's
Or you will be and it
Up are you better off now
What would you DL for me to be around
Don't forget about my family
Winning up the pictures on the wall
I gave you what I thought valuable
What'd you do for me down low
To keep me coming back for more?
I'm crazy when you're out of my mind
Don't drink whiskey just because you miss me
I never meant to use you like a toy
Are you better off now
Without me?
A muscled man was kicking me out
For drumming on the bar and losing my water
An expert in failure thru my studies devout
Put a ring in my nose and lead me to slaughter
There was something a little odd
About the way she walked
It may have been the way
Her footsteps gingerly stalked
As if on mission
Secret and forbidden
pins and needles
A future hidden
On she walked
As I followed
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.31 seconds at 11:22am on Apr 25, 2024 via server web2.