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Brief writing exercises and thoughts on writing. Maybe the occasional personal musing.
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  Proud Member This is my writer's scratchpad. I use this space to scribble down some quick thoughts and images that appeal to me. The idea is that when I don't feel like working on one of my stories but still want to write, the incomplete "droplets" I form will get posted here. I have another (currently dormant) blog where I discuss politics, sexuality, spirituality, and whatever else comes to mind. It's called The Musings of a Confused Man  . |
| I carry my soapbox to the middle of the internet, set it down, and step up on it. On various sites, I've seen many people make New Year's resolutions to "find someone special," though the words they use may be slightly different. You know, I totally get the desire being expressed. I've been single for almost a year now. While I don't find the single life particularly awful, I'd much prefer to be comfortably spending the day in the arms of someone special. So I get everyone's desire to set finding that special someone as a major goal for the new year. Except for one pesky little detail. Finding someone special is not really under your control. Sure, there are things we can all do to make it more likely to meet and build a relationship with that special someone. We can get out more. We can resolve to meet more people. We can resolve to say hello to that random stranger at the coffee shop rather than blushing and running away before we make a total fool of ourselves. We can do many things to prepare ourselves for that special someone. We can work through and heal from past hurts. We can figure out exactly what it is we want out of a relationship. We can figure out exactly what it is we have to give another person and find ways to showcase and demonstrate what we bring to the table. All of these things can ultimately draw more people into our lives and make us more noticeable. But in the end, there's a certain amount of luck involved when it comes to actually making that connection. We can't control who walks into our lives and when they choose to do it. We certainly can't control when one of those special people who embody everything we're looking for and are looking for all the qualities we have to offer them pops up, sees us, sees us for who we are, and decides they want to make a go of it. That takes time. So finding someone on a timeline -- even a 365 day timeline -- may not work out. Worse, it may actually cause us to put too much pressure on ourselves and others. Let's face it, bad things happen under pressure. (Sure, you get diamonds under pressure too, but those aren't odds I want to play, either.) So finding someone special is something I hope happens this year. However, it's not something I'm going to resolve to do or make my Grand Quest. I walk away, leaving the soapbox for anyone else who wants to use it. JarredH  Give me pen and paper and I shall create entire worlds and fill them with adventures. |
| From "Blogging Circle of Friends " : Looking back over the past year, what do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment of the year? I would have to say that my greatest accomplishment was how I handled the relationship -- and eventually drew it to an end -- with Jose in March/April. That may seem a bit dark to some of my readers, and I understand why they would think. But to me, it underscored exactly how much I had grown when it comes to dating and seeking out what I want in a relationship over the past year or two. Despite our initial whirlwind of happiness together, Jose and I were pretty much doomed from the get-go. We were in different places in our lives and wanted different things. I wanted to build something special with someone and create something similar. And while Jose might have said he wanted the same thing, he was too distracted by both his fears and the drama he involved himself in so that he could avoid those fears. That's the sort of thing that can kill a relationship pretty fast, and it did. I ended up breaking up with him about a month after we started dating. I did it pretty smartly though. I started noticing the problems and seeing the big red flags they suggested. Rather than ignoring them as I would have in the past, I paid attention to them. But I also didn't overreact or react too quickly, something else I would have done in the past. I decided to take my time and think about them, and make sure I was really seeing what I was seeing rather than seeing things based on my past. I talked to a couple of good friends, who agreed that yes, they indeed seemed like real problems. Then, I spent a couple weeks trying to let Jose know there was a problem and that things needed to change. And when I realized that he had no interest in trying to change things, I made my decision. Rather than trying to threaten, bribe, or otherwise manipulate him into changing, I accepted that things were the way they were, I didn't like the way things were, and therefore it was time to exit. So I broke up with him. Oh, I didn't handle the aftermath as well as I could have, mind you. When I found out that he was saying that he was better off without me and painting me as the villain. I blew up. I said some truly nasty things to him. Hey, I said I'd grown. I never claimed I was done growing. But after a bit, I even let that go. I realized that this was just his way of dealing with the hurt and keeping his drama going. Besides, I also knew that the people who mattered to me could see the truth. I decided that's all that mattered. So yeah, my greatest accomplishment -- breaking up with someone -- might seem like a bit of a downer. And in some ways, it is. But it's something that I did for my own good. When it comes to relationships, that's something rather new for me. JarredH Give me pen and paper and I shall create entire worlds and fill them with adventures. |
| This one gave me a few ideas for a story down the road. Kyle and Stuart sat on the couch in Kyle’s living room together. The end credits to “The Incredible Hulk” rolled along on the fifty inch LCD HDTV hanging on the opposite wall. Kyle pressed a button on the remote in his hand and the surround sound speakers went silent. Stuart turned to him and smiled. “That really is a great movie. Thanks for watching it with me.” Kyle ruffled the twenty three year old’s black hair affectionately. “No problem. I love sharing time with you. I’m just still shocked that you hadn’t seen it yet.” He let his hand linger before drawing it back to his side. “Yeah, well. I was pretty sick when it came out in theaters.” “Pneumonia?” The thirty year old asked. He tried not to press for details when Stuart talked about his health. He didn’t want to come across as too nosy. “Yeah. Like it usually is. But yeah, so I missed seeing it in theaters. And I never think to pick up a DVD when I’m out.” “Not even when you walk by the Redbox kiosk at the Super Saver?” “Nope. You’d think I’d have the sense to get Netflix or something.” “Well, you got to see it now. What did you think of it?” “Oh, I loved it! But then, I’ve always been fascinated by the Hulk.” “Oh?” “Well, yeah. I mean, look at all those muscles.” “Oh really? So you have a thing for muscle men?” Kyle said, raising an eyebrow. “Well, they’re nice to look at.” “I just need to know if I need to start spending more time at the gym.” Stuart laughed at that one. “Oh heavens, no! I think you’re perfect the way you are.” “You sure? I mean, I can find green body paint too. If that will help.” “You’re awful!” Stuart said, while pushing him away. His smile was still playful though. “So no ‘Kyle smash’?” Stuart laughed loudly. “No. Though, you know, a bit of aggression can be fun.” Kyle grinned at that and pulled the younger man to him. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Then he leaned in and pressed his lips against Stuart’s. Kyle wished the kiss would never end. JarredH Give me pen and paper and I shall create entire worlds and fill them with adventures. |
| Content Note: Violence, bullying, and homophobia. Ty pushed himself up on his hands and knees, then straightened his waist so he was kneeling. The thirteen year old boy felt a trickling wetness on his chin and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked at his skin and saw his own blood smeared there. He drew in a deep breath, his abdomen aching from the blows the older boy, Larry, had landed there. His assailant, a fifteen year old boy with superior height and weight, leered over him. “Had enough, you little wuss? Hell, you’re probably a queer like your older brother.” Ty lunged at the older boy, yelling, “I told you not to call Brant that!” He wrapped his arms around the older boy’s waist, intent on defending his seventeen year old brother’s honor. Both boys fell to the ground and grappled with one another. Ty felt strong hands lifting him off Larry. “What the hell are you doing?” Ty spun to face his brother. “This asshole called you a queer!” “And you started a fight with him because of it? Jesus, Ty. He’s almost twice as big as you.” “But he called you-” “Look, Ty. I don’t care what he called me. You have to quit picking fights like this!” Larry got to his feet, laughing. “Saved by the faggot brother, eh Ty?” Brant shot him a look. “Can it, Larry. I may be a homo, but I don’t have to start shit just to prove myself to others.” Larry snarled. “What are you suggesting, queer?” “You’re probably not as stupid as you look. Figure it out for yourself.” With that, Brant turned his back to Larry and began to look at Ty’s cuts and bruises. Larry clenched his fists, then looked around. Other students were starting to wander over to see what the commotion was about. He spat toward the brothers, then said to Ty, “Looks like you get away this time. But you need to learn not to start things you can’t finish.” He began to walk away. “Why didn’t you hit him? Why did you just let him say those things about you?” Ty protested as Brant continued to prod and poke at the younger boy’s face. “Because that’s what he wants, Ty. I refuse to give it to him.” “But he called you a queer and a fag!” “Yeah? So?” A thought occurred to Ty, and he recoiled from his brother’s touch. “Are you?!” “That’s not important right now.” “It is to me! Are you queer?” Brant sighed. “Yeah, I like other guys. A lot. Now can we move on?” “But, how can you?!” Ty was nearly hysterical. He wasn’t sure who this older boy -- the one he adored and looked up to all his life -- was anymore. “It’s just the way things are. Look, can we talk about this later? Let’s get you cleaned up.” “No! Get away from me! I need some time alone!” Ty pushed his brother away. “Ty, calm down.” “Calm down?! I’ve been defending you! You’re my brother and now...” He couldn’t bare to finish his thought. He took off down the street. He needed time to think. JarredH Give me pen and paper and I shall create entire worlds and fill them with adventures. |
| I may have to turn this one into a short story. Those boys are playing with something they may not fully understand. The trio gathered in the small room, holding hands. There was a single pillar candle in the center of the small circle they formed, resting on a small wooden table that was about waist high. A dozen tea lights were placed about the perimeter of the room. Beyond these flames, the room was completely dark. All three boys had their eyes closed in concentration. Finally, the unofficial leader of the trio, a boy of about fifteen years with brown hair and hazel eyes spoke. “Lord Pan, we beseech you! Teach us in the ways of your revelry and abandon!” JarredH Give me pen and paper and I shall create entire worlds and fill them with adventures. |
Flames soared, consuming the small house. Thick black smoke choked firefighters as they struggled to get the inferno under control. --- Gears turned, making a soft clicking sound. The seconds hand began to approach the top of the huge clock face. Another minute had passed. --- I stood on a rock at the base of the water spray. Cold water from above streamed over my body, making me shiver. My swim trunks were soaked. --- A gentle breeze blew, causing the stalks of wheat in the field to sway. Charlotte carefully broke off a few stalks, tying them in a bundle. --- The sun rose above the crests of the mountain in the east, bathing the valley in its warm golden light. Drops of dew sparkled on leaves. JarredH Give me pen and paper and I shall create entire worlds and fill them with adventures. |
| From "Blogging Circle of Friends " : What does Christmas mean to you? As a non-Christian, Christmas has no real significance to me. However, I love it because it means family time to me. In fact, as I write this blog post, I'm sitting at my parents' house. I got here yesterday afternoon and my parents have spent most of the time since talking and catching up on life. During much of that time, Mom has been working on baking pies and preparing things for cooking tomorrow's big dinner. Dad will be going to church later this evening for Christmas Eve service. Tomorrow, we will all get up and have a small breakfast before exchanging gifts. Then we'll spend time in the dining room, watching the deer and whatever wildlife wander through the backyard as we wait for the ham to get ready for dinner. JarredH Give me pen and paper and I shall create entire worlds and fill them with adventures. |
| I was too busy with other things to do any Twitter Scribbles today. However, I did get a new Writing Quickie in. Kevin stared out the window as Professor Davies droned on about volumes of three dimensional objects. It was early spring and a pair of cardinals were building a next in the tree outside. Kevin watched them as they wove whatever bits of straw and other materials together. He wondered how they knew how to do this. Was it genetic? Was it something they learned either by observation or trial and error? He watched as the male cardinal fluttered his brightly colored wings and took off. What would it be like to be able to fly. He imagined the freedom that must be involved, the freedom from boring lectures about complex mathematical topics. The instructor cleared his throat loudly, which startled Kevin back to the present. He looked around and blushed as he realized the whole class was looking at him. “Well, Kevin?” the instructor said. “I’m sorry, professor, I must have gotten lost in my own thoughts.” “Yes, I would say so. I just asked you to come finish this problem on the board. Unless you need to confer with the birds you’ve been watching first.” The class laughed as Kevin walked to the front of the room and took the piece of chalk offered to him. JarredH Give me pen and paper and I shall create entire worlds and fill them with adventures. |
Jadon wiped the sweat from his brow as he worked the bellows in his father’s shop. The twelve year old boy glanced at the burly blacksmith, who was studying the iron rods glowing in the fire. Jadon squeezed the handles together, and the flames of the forge grew hotter. His father nodded in seeming satisfaction and motioned toward a pair of long-handled tongs. Jadon picked up the tongs with a gloved hand and used them to pull one of the rods from the fire and placed one end in the vice. His father tightened the vice and Jadon could see the pinched end of the rod flatten slightly. He let go of the rod with the tongs and stepped back so his father could work. The boy picked up his cup of water, trying to quench his thirst with it. JarredH Give me pen and paper and I shall create entire worlds and fill them with adventures. |
Eric pulled Zach into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms around his lover's torso. Zach looked into his eyes, then leaned in for a kiss. --- White spray struck Tyrone's face as he paddled his kayak through the rapids. He deftly maneuvered the small vessel between two rocks. --- Shayna pulled back the bowstring and took careful aim. She let several breaths out before releasing, sending her arrow flying. --- Michael stood at the pottery wheel, shaping the clay with his hands. Under his careful guidance, the blob began to take the form of a bowl. --- The group gathered around the altar and joined hands. he candles' flames reflected off every shiny surface. The priestess led a chant. JarredH Give me pen and paper and I shall create entire worlds and fill them with adventures. |
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