Random thoughts, inconsistent posting
| Create a Top Ten List of your favorite Christmas activities. Your favorite should be #1.
1) Having dinner with family.
2) Reading the Christmas story and remembering why we celebrate this time of year.
3) Singing in the Christmas cantata or being able to direct the drama for the concert.
4) Making Mincemeat and lemon curd tarts (Mr Perfect makes the rest of the Christmas cookies.)
5) Having the house decorated for Christmas.-The tree is up and the carolers are singing. Still missing a few that are packed away.
6) Hearing Christmas carols played in the malls and on the radio. My CD changer full of Christmas CD's is missing since the move??
7) Helping decorate the Church for Christmas.
8) Writing the Christmas cards.
9) Planning the family Christmas dinner.
10) Wishing people a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Its the most wonderful time of the year! I love it and wish everyone knew and believed the true meaning of this holiday instead of the Santa Claus and commercial version. Without the birth of Christ and the desire to celebrate a day marked as his birth, we would all be doing what we do any other day or month of the year. Don't forget without Christ Judism would be the only way we would know how to reach God. So only Hannikah would be celebrated and even then would it be as popular as Christmas? I doubt it. It wasn't really in the great plan.
Additions I just thought of. Watching Miracle on 34th Street, Scrooge with Albert Finney, and Holiday Inn/White Christmas. These are years activities.
Prompt: If you were to create a chronically unhappy character, what characteristics would you give him/her?
Where do I begin? I could name a number of unhappy people. It really starts with why and how they came to be that way. Most people are born happy. It is a God given part of our personality. When that changes its due in part to environment and genetics. More so the former than the latter.
I grew up is a happy home. I love my parents and I thought they were the most wonderful people in the world. Over the years I discovered that life has an impact on people's judgment and what they perceive to be true.
When circumstances enter our lives we have a choice of how we react. I'm not one to give in gracefully. I have a quick trigger and will spout off when I shouldn't. Somewhere my mental and vocal govenor didn't get the right stops and I've had to learn to apologize for a quick and sharp tongue. Its not that I want to be that way, it happens. Its something I need to pray more about.
What I observed in a couple of people, I know very well, is they seem to have a dark cloud over them. When you say, "It's a lovely day." They will agree, but follow with, "I hear we are to have rain later to day." Or "There are dark clouds in the west, a storm's coming." They have a defeatist attitude about everything. What caused them to be this way?
1: One person I know is VERY competitive. He HAS to win at everything. In business and playing tennis. Ove the years he gave his all to perfecting his knowledge of inventory and later opened his own business. He did very well at it. He sees in others his own falicies and distrusts them. If they have any fault he will hold it against them. If a person does him wrong he retaliated, but excuses himself, or justifies his own actions in the same situation. At an advanced age and his health is waining, he has to find a way to excuse what he can't do any more. He had a pacemaker put in and his stomach bothers him all the time. We get a litany of his ailments when we ask how he is. I can tell he wakes each morning to find he's alive. He may or may not get dressed that day. He sits in front of the TV and watches sports and a news channel. The news depresses him and he gets tired of watching sports. At the end of the day he didn't die so he has to go to bed and hopes to sleep longer than the night before and not get up as many times. He wakes the next day to start the process all over. Nothing you say or encourage him to do will get a positive reaction.
Depression has over come his life. He sees no reason to do anything because it makes him tired. He doesn't remember that when he was younger, exercise sometimes comes with pain. It goes away. Now it's a source of conversation. No one wants him around because all he does is complain about his health and the past.
2: As a young girl this woman had some family issues with her mother. The mother was judgmental and partial to her boys. One older and one younger than this girl. The slights she received set her to be sensitive to other's remarks, even if they weren't meant to be mean. She remembers every one. All she wanted was to be a part of a loving family. To be accepted. She met a man with a number of siblings. She was happey to be part of that family, not knowing they had their own inscurities and saw her as being someone they had to put down to look better than her. Which they did a lot after the two were married. Her husband was so used to the slights he never stood up for her against his mother or sisters. This further affected the girl. A few years later they moved to another city and had two girls. Then the 3rd daughter was born with problems that later became serious and she died at 2 1/2 years. Some of the women and men of their social group for whatever reason treated her with distain and said hurtful things. Her husband dealing with his own grief was unsupportive. He didn't know what to do with a wife and girls. All he wanted to do was be with the guys fishing. The situation built to where she had a breakdown. After that her mind was in a dark place most of the time. When she was with women who were supportive she was happy, fun to be around and everyone loved her. Then the nit picking started. The constant put down of her girls. When they spoke up she sulked. She turned her cutting remarks toward her husband and at every turn blamed him for all her faults. This went on for years. Even after he passed away, she still brought up issues she feels are his fault. When confronted with what she says, she will deny she did the things she did. She lives in a false world. Now in her mid 80's she sits in front of the TV days on end. He mind goes over all the things that were done to her and she relives them.
To give the characteristics of an unhappy person would be to make them see life through a dark glass, always half full.
constantly live in the past and relive it to anyone who will listen
retalliate when confronted with their own faults or give excuses
They see only the sad or dark things around them and seem to glory in those things that befall others, while verbally sympathizing.
"They got what they deserved." Seems to be their mantra.
They see every slight at being directed at them even if it was an accident or not meant the way they have taken it.
They live life with a wall around them. It doesn't let them be hurt or allow them to reach out to others. Some will isolate themselves in their house or in a world where they don't have to interact with people other than when they have to buy groceries or necessities.
Their eyes and mind see the pollution of the world and rarely the beauty as it affects others. They will look a beautiful sunrise or sunset and think "Its time to get to work now." or "Days over nothing can be changed so I guess I'll go to bed."
This attitude will affect those around them in a couple of ways. Those close will do everything they can to not be like that. If they have the same tendencies and they work hard to change them. They will walk away and not have anything to do with the person which has a negative response to that person causing them to withdraw even more.
November has been especially exciting. I was able to travel with my husband and visit parts of the USA I'd only dreamed of. After touring Philadelpha and seeing the sites that make up our nation's history we drove to the Amish country of Pennsylvania. Life as these people live it is simple but not something I have a desire to ascribe to. With no electricity to their homes or using the modern mechanisms to make their farm work easier, I don't see the advantage to that life style. I do think some of the things we are addicted to now days are not something that makes us better people as a whole.
I remember growing up in a strict home. I strained at the rules I had to live by. My job, as a young teen was not only to watch over my younger sisters, but I had to learn to iron. I am thankful for what was a modern convenience of an electric iron. I had a pop bottle with a spritzer shoved into the neck to sprinkle the clothes so they would be damp when I ironed them. Damp clothes made steam when the hot iron was run over them. It was also used to wet wrinkles I accidently made when I didn't get the fabric flat and was in too big a hurry to get done so I could go out to play.
One hundred years ago I might have been a maid. I would have had to wash clothes in a pot of boiling water or a wringer washer. One that had a handle to agitate the clothes. Electric washers were in place in the early 1900's so by 1914 women were purchasing these modern marvels. The machine washed the clothes and rinsed them. The wet clothes were fed between two rollers that squeezed water from the material. It also left the clothes with pressed wrinkles. The clothes only lost some of the wrinkles if the wind blew the clothes around.
The clothes were brought in the house and VOILA They were redampened to accept the hot, flat, iron that would burn any resisting wrinkles from the fabric. Many a time I would have shirts and dresses ripped from their hangers and thrown in the basket with the order, "Dampen those again and do them over. There are wrinkles in them. If you don't do it the way I told you, there will be wrinkles.'
I hate ironing. However I don't like wrinkled clothes. I will drag my iron and board out to press up a skirt. (I have left clothes hanging in the bathroom with the shower running hoping the steam will relax the wrinkles.) I bought a steamer but its so old I need to buy a new bottle as the rubber stopper discinigrated.
One more point about the Amish. They too have had to adjust to the demands of society even it they don't like it. I'm sure the FDA demands they use milking machines and containers that heat and/or cool the milk they collect. I doubt hand milking is allowed or even managed when you have time limits for pick up. They have electricity to their barns. When they have a store where they sell quilts and other items they make, they sometimes have an electric cash register. They don't take credit cards, they just take cash or check. When the need arises, they make their adjustments to deal with the problem. I don't beleive God looks at self flagellation or the strict denial of amenities as some way to gain a better position in heaven.
I do think fasting AND PRAYING is a good thing if someone needs a specific answer to prayer for a specific time. I agree that when one ashews the things that divert our minds from spending time with God is a good thing and draws a person closer to Him. That also means you will hear his voice and recognize his leadings easier. Ever get a phone call from someone who doesn't tell you their name and after a a minute or so you still don't know who they are? Its probably someone you don't often talk to.
I don't admire the Amish. Even less now that I've seen Breaking Amish and heard about the Amish Mafia (I won't even begin to espouse on that) I do support their right to live and do what they do.
|How to you write. Point of view?
Please forgive me. I'm out of town and wiring on a kindle.
I've learned to try to stay in my character's head. I just received a review on an old MS I hadn't looked at for a long time. I received a commendation for staying in my characters point of view.
While editing my recent MS I was surprised how few times I had to delete paragraphs when I'd jumped into another character's head by telling the reader what he thought or saw.
I have a particular story where I show the reader a first time view through a soldier's eyes. Saturday I visited the National American Museum of Jewish History. I saw a brief video showing the cameraman entering Dakow. I stood shocked as it unfolded almost exactly as I had described in the story. I've watched and read many accounts of the concentration camps and their survivors. To keep the reader in the story think of a movie. When all you see is through the eyes of the character it can be more intense. Ever see children of the corn? All you see is corn stocks flying by as characters run trying to safety. You hear them breathing. When something jumps at them or a loud noise, you jump too because you are right there in their head.
My story is
|Have you ever been cruel to be kind? For example, have you told someone the truth, knowing you would upset them?
I have to eulogize this prompt. As much to villify my action but also to show what forgiveness is about. Many years ago an African woman and an aquaintence of ours requested the price of a "boombox" style radio my husband wanted to sell. This woman has a particular attitude that to this day remains offensive to me. I've been told this is a cultural thing indicitive of the region of Nigeria she immigrated from.
One day she told me how Nigerians can make money. They send their passports to a friend in Nigeria who is paid by a woman of similar look to use it. Most white people don't pay close attention and are easily fooled. So the new person enters the USA under a false passport and it is returned to the original owner who never left the country in the first place. They may enter through Canada so to confuse the customs even more.
All that leads to the purchase of the boom box. My husband set the price and she argued at a $10. lower price. He held firm and she finally agreed. He brought the box to her and she handed him the check but he didn't look at it right away. She had written it out for the price minus the $10. My husband was very perturbed.
Later we had a special dinner where everyone paid up front. Another Nigerian bought 4 dinners. At the dinner only he and one other child came. I offered to reimburse him but he said he would take the dinners to go. I was fine with that. When it came time to settle the bill, it came to more than what we thought. On further inspection, we found this woman had ordered a large dinner to go but never paid for it. I was furious. I don't know if she thought the man didn't pay for the ones he took or if she just surmised the situation.
The next day I couldn't hold back. I fired an email letter to her about the situation. I was harsh about her attitude where she fakes ignorance and claims, "I'm just a Bushwoman." in very broken English. She will get her way sometimes and thinks its ok to lie and steal. I called her out on that.
She was hurt and upset. She went to a very dear friend she called "Daddy" and showed him the email. He understood what happened and knew there was no way to confront her on her actions, so he told her to put it aside and leave it be.
Years went buy. She left the country and I moved from that city. A couple of years ago she came to the city where I live. She confronted me with "We need to talk. I think I need an apology from you for what you said to me."
I was fortunate to have forgotten the whole thing. I must have done what I did and put it out of my mind. I didn't remember anything about the situation. She didn't enlighten me and I apologized for having said anything that might come between us. I may not like how she handles situations, but I'm not her judge, and God gave me a free conscience to ask and receive forgivness for something I didn't remember. We parted with a clear conscience. Later my husband reminded me of what happened.
I wasn't angry with her. It was in the past. Forgiven and though not forgotten anymore, it proves to me God can take the hurt and anger out of situations and give a person peace.
As I just told what happened, it is in my memory, but there is no emotions that can dig into me and cause me to feel anything but pity for her. She will have to answer to God for the things she does.
I was cruel to her as I'm sure my words were tempered, but barely, I was kind because when she showed it to her "Daddy" as she calls him out of respect, he knew what the result would be if she confronted me on the situation.
Life is about choices. We make good and bad ones. Its taking responsibility for what we do and asking for forgiveness and giving it in return that makes us better people.
I have seen what "unforgiving" people turn into. Its not pretty. Even when they tell you they have forgiven, its just platitudes to placate themselves. Its there because it comes out with emotional baggage attached. True forgiveness has to be asked by God.
Having lived long enough to see tehcnology and customer service change over the years, flying is an amazing invention. Now I wasn't around when Wilber and his brothers took their first flight, but I've watch how TWA and PAN AM airlines set the standards for flying and what to expect as a customer.
The competition to get customers to fly their airlines, the companies of the early days offered more and more amenities. They offered hot meals, drinks, pillows and blankets for their customers comfort. As flying grew to a multi-billion dollar business and more airlines were added to the competition things began to change.
In order to entice more customers airlines divided the plane into First Class and Coach. Those who could afford to pay for the privledge of sitting at the front of the plane continued to receive the ultimate experience. Haute Cuisine food and free drinks served with real utinsils and napkins. The Coach received hot meals, but were limited to 2 choices, plasticware and paper napkins. They continued to receive free non-alcoholic drinks.
In the last 15-20 years things have drastically changed. The cost of fuel and food have risen astronomically. Some airlines went bankrupt and were absorbed or bought out by others. As if they all got together at a meeting the airline companies decided to discontinue any food service. All their passangers receive free is a tiny bag of peanuts and pretzels along with free soft drinks, coffee and tea. That cut didn't extend to the First Class passangers who still receive hot meals but with plasticware, free drinks including alcoholic beverages and of course cloth napkins and in some cases hot towelettes to wipe your hands when you first arrive.
With this cut in customer service, people complained. The cost to fly didn't change with the elimination of food, blankets and pillows. In fact it went up. Then along came the No Frills flying. Airlines that didn't offer anything extra but the peanuts, pretzels and any cookies given as promotion to an airlines. You could buy food in the terminal and bring it aboard and eat what you wanted. The cost then reflected a more competetive price.
These airlines became more popular. One that I and my husband use has some of the most outgoing employees. When they give the safetly features they do it in a comical way that has everyone quiet, listening and laughing. We've all heard the "In case of cabin pressure loss air......" These ladies will say, "If you have more than one child with you, pick the one with the most earning potential and place the mask on them first then put your own on." There are many other funny ways of instructing passangers and they remember the instructions long after the flight is over.
Most of these have no class divisions, everyone is the same. Some you get assigned seating and others its whatever position you are assigned in line to get into the plane, but then you can sit in any seat you want. The object is to pay a little more to get in first or become a frequent flyer and get that position closer to the front of the line.
This has its advantages and disadvantages. As I mentioned in a previous blog, SWA is well know for its ability to heal their passengers while in the air. In the boarding area there is a line of "elderly" most times who claim to need assistance and are allowed a "blue" card to get on the plane before the A passengers. These people are wheeled and some are able to walk just fine down the ramp to sit in the first rows of the plane. When the plane arrives at their destination, Praise God they've been healed and all but one or two walk out on their own. Its a miracle!!
The one that bugged me the most were two ladies over 60 years old, one brought to the gate in a wheelchair the other walked beside her. Because one had a "blue" card the other was able to get on at the same time. I make this note: The ladies were both dressed in a style we attribute to a more quiet society the Mennonites or reformed Amish. There was an annoucement for a gate change. We were to move across the aisle to another gate. We all marched over to the new gate. As I walked across the aisle I saw the older woman who had arrived in the wheel chair, walking toward the original gate with water and food. Walking, no limp, no assistance needed, she was walking quite well and hurried when she saw the people leaving her gate area. The walk to the nearest food court was a good half block away from the gate. So she had to walk there and walk back without the aide of the chair. When she arrived with her companion at the new gate she was in the wheelchair and sitting in line near the doorway. I was in line and mentioned to those who also had observed the actions, that SWA had a reputation of healing the infirm. They all laughed. I wanted to stop by the two ladies and just shake my head at them. I didn't, But I wanted to!!
Airlines still try to entice passanger with frequent flyer miles and other things but most still have not got the fact that people can forego the aminities but really want good customer service. Act like you care. Have a plan in place for emergencies. The "on-time" rating applies when the doors close and plane is ready to back away from the gate. You may sit there for hours but they have maintained their ON TIME rating.
My biggest pet peeve is the baggage handlers. We now have to have less than 50 pounds in our suitcase, but they can throw 80 to 100 pounds around on a plane. They do not care or have any responsibility for their actions. I'd like to see any complaints against an airport's baggage handlers during specific shifts be docked against that shift. If you are on a certain flight, the handlers for that flight need to be coded and if baggage arrives dammaged it is a mark against that team. If a team has too many they are docked or reprimanded. When the baggage comes through the x-ray at the begining of a trip the checker makes a mark/orig terminal stamp on the claim tag. This keeps the passanger from claiming dammage that was there previously. No one has to know this is implemented. It would mean a better handling of baggage, less complaints and more satified customers.
Flying has changed over the years. We as consumers have had to adjust our expectations. We have to get from one place to another quickly. Flying is the best way to make that trip. thosw who only know what is offered now are satisfied. Those of us who have travele many years and seen the down trend long for those days of a more coushy ride. Thank Howard Hughes for the ride of our lives.
Dressing up. At one time I pushed aside the idea of dressing up. To become someone else or just pretend. We think of this as child's play. We watch little children don the clothes of grownups from occupational uniforms to their parent's favorite clothes. We smile and joke, but deep inside there is a kernal of desire to put aside the trapping of an ADULT and be a kid again.
This came to me back in 1999. My husband and I were invited to a couple's home for a Christmas Party. We were told it was an annual party with a theme. This years' theme was Holiday Inn (the movie) I was pretty excited to go. I dressed up in a 1940's styled evening dress and had my hair done in the same style. It was rolled along the sides with a wave in the center and curled in french type roll at the back.
That year we had (unusual) no snow the first week of December, so the sleigh outside was sitting on cotton batting with a sign "Holiday Inn" leaning in the front seat. The party was fun. Mostly talking among the adults of which we only knew the host and hostess. Lots of food and we met our hostess' siblings and mother. (Who owns a number of popular restaurants in the Twin City area) That was a treat in its self.
After the party we were inspired by the attendence and willingness of the guests to "dress up" we decided to have our own Christmas party. We talked to many of our friends and relatives asking for thoughts on dressing up. Some met with "no I won't dress up!" Others were on board! We made the commitment and started the process.
One of our favorite Christmas movies is the musical Scrooge with Abert Finney. A friend took the movie and adapted a 7 minute invitation. In the middle of the segment was an invitation. Where, when and What to wear!! Costumes are a must. Then a segment to give the invitees an idea of clothing. When I was asked about costumes I said Thrift stores. Find a long full skirt, a victorian blouse, hat, jacket whatever. The invitations were a hit, everyone loved them. Most everyone came in a Victorian Costume except two aunts and uncles. Our theme was Fezziwigs Mannor this was part of the invitation.
The night of the party we had it catered by a British type resturant around the corner from our house. They were as excited to do it as we were to have it. We had Beef Wellington with little potatoes done in a special presentation among other appatizing treats. Dessert was made by me and the restaurant owner. Everyone had a great time. We played a game and sang carols. I had a young man who sang at the restaurant (the one owned by the mother of our previous host and hostess). He was amazing and sang Aria's with one of the guests. We also had a horse and carriage ride. That night snow was falling lightly and guests from the west coast were thrilled with a carriage ride in winter wonderland.
The following year 2001 we had the theme Holiday Inn and again everyone (but the same two couples) were dressed in 1940's clothing. The invitation was another video that was taken from the movie Holiday Inn.
Sept 11 had just happened and I spoke about the time 50 years or so previously when war made a huge impact on our country and many gatherings at that time might have been behind windows blackened by curtains. We sang, searched for the CHRISTMAS PICKLE and ATE! We received a call a few days later from our accountant and wife. They both told us they had been to many Christmas parties, mostly where alcohol was provided. This was the first one they went to where no alcohol was served and it was best one they had ever attended. It was fun. Even though they didn't know anyone but us and my brother and sister-in-law, they were amazed at how much fun it was to dress up and go out. (We don't serve any alcohol at our parties)
The year after that we had another Victorian party. This invitation was simple; a picture of the horse and carriage from our first party with guests taking a ride. Again everyone came dressed in Victorian clothes. Some put together, not rented as many did before.
We built a new house and moved across the river in Wisconsin so no party that year. I received numberous phone calls, "Tina, did we offend you? We didn't get our Christmas party invite." I had to explain there was no party that year. They were so disappointed and let us know they and their friends all looked forward to a new theme and what to dress up in. I guess our parties were quite the conversation among our guests and their friends.
The following year it was Christmas on Broadway. Our invitations were chocolate bars with the words Christmas on Broadway piped on them. The happy and sad masks made from dark and white chocolate were attached at the corner. I made a "ticket" with the instructions for costumes. ADMIT ONE was printed at one end. I was surprised to have many of the invites handed to me that night. It was cute!!
Everyone came as their favorite Broadway characters. We had King and Queens for King Leer, Our Town, The Nuns, Cats, Joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat, Chicago, Babe, Orphan Annie, Grease and others I don't remember off hand. I came as Dolly, my daughter was Potifer's wife, my son was Billly from Chicago. My husband was Tave from Fiddler on the roof. He sang "If I were a rich man" his costume was perfect. No beard, but he looked the part.
a great time was had by all.
We moved to the west coast the following year and life changed. There was no financial ability to have these parties. I miss them and others talk about them.
In all this you can see I found people like to dress up. It may not be Halloween costumes, but given a chance to put on the persona of someone different they will do it.
I found if people were resistant to it, they were not invited. I had limited space so I wanted those who wanted to really participate to be invited. What I discovered after the first year, was a change of heart. "I heard it was so much fun I'd like to be invited next year." "Only if you join in and come in costume." They were there every year after and called when I didn't have the party.
The addage "If you build it, they will come." I say, "If you have the party and make dressing up somewhat manditory, they will come." If they miss the first year they will be at your door the next year, dressed up.
| What to do? I was told by my publisher to start a blog. After a month or so went by I put one up at wordpress.com At first I stuggled what to write. I had some trouble getting it "published." After I confirmed my email it was ready to go. I didn't see the previous post I drafted so copied and pasted one from my author's facebook page I thought was especially good. Then I found the first one and posted that too.
To my surprise I found emails of a bunch of people I don't know have read my blog and are now "following" it. I'm curious, why? How did they find me I just opened the blog up a few hours ago.
To my WDC blogging friends, do you read author's blogs on other sites? Why? What do they write that keeps you coming back to read them? I have gone to my favorite author's pages and found new book info and stuff like that. I get their facebook posts that are pretty interesting to see what they do as a regular person. They take their kids/grands to school or have play dates. They post when they go on a press tour, that was fun to see pictures of and wish I could do that!! All in all as an aspiring writer they don't post things about writing.
Maybe they did in the beginning. Then what? Do any of you find a author blog and check out their archives? I haven't as yet.
The blog prompts we have here on WDC are just for fun. They aren't always about writing. They are about free writing, making you brain go to a different place. It could lead to a scene in a story or creat a new one. Am I wrong that this isn't real blogging or is it? I'm confused. Help anyone??
|Prompt: Do you believe in destiny?
No I do not beleive in Destiny, per sae. I do not beleive in pre-destination which to me is the same thing. In my understanding, it means your life is laid out for you and what happens will happen no matter what you do or say. I believe in free will.
I believe that If you choose a path and ask God's guidence, he will help you to make the right choices when they come your way. Who you marry, what job you have, what car you buy and even your daily choices. I believe things happen for a reason. A car just doesn't run into you because it drove itself there. Someone made a choice. Not to get their brakes fixed, not to heed the signal, to be distracted (texting) when they were driving.
Too many times I have heard people give testimony about a time they called out for help and their car stopped at the edge of an embankment. We may have heard the song "Jesus take the wheel" That is not a myth. It has happened.
There is a fine line in most people's mind about what God's plan is for your life and your part in it. Let's take it from a parent's perspective. As you raise a child you instill the knowledge of what is right and what is wrong. Don't eat off the floor, don't touch the stove, don't run into the street without looking. Then there are the basics, Don't talk to strangers or take candy from a stranger. As the child grows they question your rules. You give the alternatives of disobeying you, the laws of the land and common sense laws for their protection. When they begin to form their likes and dislikes you guide them toward a set of circumstances.
Many parents push their children along a path they have chosen. The child might be a talented figure skater, baseball or football player, hockey or chess player. They make sure every opportunity is provided to achieve the highest goal. What if the child changes their mind. They want to be an architecht not a hockey goalie? They want to be a doctor not a figure skater? You get the picture. Destiny would say, tough, its your destiny. You are good at it for a reason so you must put every effort to achieving that statis. In this there is no free will. The parent has chosen, using the promise of talent or their own desires. I know this scenario is open for debate but give me a bit of slack and don't pick the details. Go with the concept.
While a parent may guide, provide the opportunity the child must make up their own mind. They must take all the facts, professional opinions and chose for themself. If one asks God for guidence, He opens the door to where He wants you to be. You, however, must make the choice to go through the door. If you see another more pleasureable door, you may turn from His and say, Nope This is where I want to go. If things go wrong, he will help you in that situation. He knows what you will choose, it doesn't make him any happier if you go at it from your own choice. I don't understand it all. I'm no expert on all of this, I do know I've made good decisions and bad decisions. Some of the "bad" decisions have broght joy and happiness inspite of what might have been had I waited and been offered a different choice. Some of those decisions have had a high price. I don't believe that to be destiny but my poor choice of words and actions. I still might have been drawn to the same end with other choices less uncomfortable for me, but I made the choice to say or do something that cost me. I'm sorry for it but I have to take the consequences for those actions, I can't blame destiny or fate for something that I had a hand in.
Taking repsonsibility for your own actions in a given situation then making more informed choices or just keeping your mouth shut is a learning experice at any age.
Some of us never learn.
|Prompt: There's no such thing as fair. Agree? Disagree? Tap out a few words about it.
Fair. What is fair? To act or judge with an equal consideration to both angles or sides. Some situations affect a person negatively and the result is deemed to be UNFAIR.
Children or those who cannot accept that bad things happen for a reason deem everything is unfair. That comment is the pat answer to all things that don't meet our expectations.
There is good and evil in the world. At times poor judgment is regulated to "life is unfair." What possible purpose would this serve? Its God's fault! Because even when we don't believe, we need someone to blame. When there is no answer, we begin to look elsewhere for an answer. Fairness. It isn't fair.
I see this as a parental lack of responsibility. If you don't teach children how to cope with unfairness, or when life doesn't go their way or something happens beyond their ability you are doing them a disservice.
I see the expulsion of fair to make everyone equal. No fair or unfair. Then as time goes on and the equalizer or parent isn't there to make everything fair, they can't deal with unfairness.
There is no fairness in life. We make choices good and bad. What our motives are drives us when making choices.
Why were you in an intersection when a car ran a red light and now you are incapacitated. It wasn't fairness, or unfairness. It was the choice of the person not obeying the traffic signal.
What about a child molester or abductor?
That is a whole different story. I read the book The Shack and learned something. Sin or evil when unchecked by a conscience decision to change escalates. After reading the book I found When God gives every person free will, He cannot or will not take it away. It is your choice what you do with your life. When the man in the book abducted the child, he chose to do so. God doesn't interfere even though he would love to do it, then it negates the act of free will. When you take away free will who do you blame? God? He doesn't want that, He wants you to trust him. Like a parent. We should teach our children good and bad. That they need to make good choices and there is someone there who will help make those choices. When bad things happen we should be teaching them how to deal with bad things.
Another thing that reinforced my findings is just after I read the book I watched the TV show "I almost got away with it."
In this episode a man was so angry at something, he was determined to rape his girlfriend and her daughter. He waited for them to come home but they didn't. Angry he got in his car and drove around the neighborhoods until he found two girls outside their apartments. He wasn't deterred by the lack of opportunity. He chose to continue until he saw the girls and abducted one of the little girls. Later found molested and dumped into a gravel area where truckers park their trailers.
This showed me that he had a choice. The opportunity was changed but he chose to keep going until he found what he wanted and took it. God did all he could to change the situation and give the man an opportunity to change his mind, but he didn't do it.
Fairness, there is no such thing. We need to teach children there are winners and losers. One is not better than the other except for expertise. We need to stop teaching children that everything is fair.
Our society has built a populace of weak minded people that blame everyone else for their troubles. They can't accept that they may or may not have had a choice. That either they or someone else on earth had the power to choose good or bad and it affected them.