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Blog started in Jan 2005: 1st entries for Write in Every Genre. Then the REAL ME begins |
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It Hurts When I Stop Talking Sometime in Fall of 1998, when a visit from Dad was infrequent, and primarily at the mercy of his 88 Toyota making the 50 mile journey, I was being treated to lunch. The restaurant was my choice, I think. Sisley Italian Kitchen at the Town Center mall was somewhere my dad had not yet tried, so that was my pick. Either I was being treated to the luxury of lunch and adult conversation without my husband and 5 year old son in tow, or that's just how the moment has lodged in my memory. The more I think about it, they probably were there, but enjoying the Italian food too much to bother interrupting. Daddy and his lady friend at the time, Anne, came up together and made a day of it with me and the family. We were eating together and talking about some of my scripts, stories, coverages, poems and other creative attempts that really were not seeing the light of day. I think I'd just finished a group reading of The Artist's Way and was in a terribly frenetic mood over my writing. I think I'd just given them an entire rundown on a speculative Star Trek script. My Dad asked me point blank, “Why don’t you write it?? Anne agreed. It sure sounded like I wanted to write it. Why wasn't I writing seriously? It's what I'd set out to do when earning my college degree in Broadcasting many years earlier. Heck, I should, I agreed non-verbally. “I will.” But, I didn’t. Blogs can be wild, unpredictable storehouses of moments, tangents, creative dervishes, if you will. I'm getting a firmer handle on my creative cycle. My mental compost heap (which is a catch phrase from Natalie Goldman or Julia Cameron - I can't think which, right now) finally seems to be allowing a fairly regular seepage of by-products. That may be a gross analogy, but I give myself credit to categorize my work in raw terms. It proves that I'm not so much the procrastinating perfectionist that I once was. Still, I always seem to need prompts and motivation. Being a self-starter is the next step. My attempt to keep up in the Write in Every Genre Contest at the beginning of the year seemed like a perfect point to launch the blog. |
| Supposed to be ready to leave for work in just fifteen minutes, but I feel it is time to reemerge at the gate and begin a blog streak again. I powered through the remaining half of the latest book I'd been lazily reading. And my sleeping mind finally pulled some insight from it by this morning. I will admit I was often not enjoying it, and a likely reason for my barely slogging through the first 70 pages in two or three weeks time. I have a different perspective now. And by the end of the weekend I'll have a full review up. I turned a corner. I hope a few readers can see, or realize some truth (through whatever sense best serves) as I did. |
| Dear children, this year has presented me, your mother, with challenges. I regret ever buying in to and saying out loud, "This has been the hardest year of my life." Because then I had to accept blame for hearing you say the same. Emotionally I have felt huge ranges I did not know existed in me, comprised of denial, expectation, trepidation, desire and longing, wonder and gratitude, pain both plain and intense. You are similarly journeying, except for you it is measured along the path we all know as the teenage years. It is still a spiritual path. Currently, where you can, you deny the existence of God. Although as a young person, you certainly know the experience of feeling non-existent, I know you have great awareness. You often use your awareness to serve others you see hurting. I hope for a time, no one knows how long a time it will take, you will grow in another avenue of awareness to see your own divine nature. I realize the celebration of Christmas seems silly on many levels. In modern human society stress has increased and few seem to know how to back down from it. There are even demands you place on each other in constructing something celebratory. Silly for sure. On the calendar, it pretty much becomes obvious starting at Halloween. I wonder just how many people see both the shift in popularity and the telling aspect of transforming yourselves into monsters as a momentary escape? So, why do I celebrate Christmas as I do? I like the challenge it presents in my life to shine. Does that make sense? It's Winter, yet not all crawl into a hole to hibernate. If you are both blessed with plenty and wise enough to reserve some to share, you do. This is where you gift. Sometimes all you can gift is yourself. I encourage you to be both your own light, illuminating whatever path in both dark and day, and allowing others to see a good path to take. |
Missing my eyeglasses -- four days, and no clue where they are. Luckily, my husband repaired a spare pair. (And people sometimes wonder why I mention Alzheimer's as a middle of life concern.)  All that aside, this morning, I searched through my sock drawer -- you know, in case, I set my glasses down while folding laundry. And, while I did not find the missing spectacles, I found something to be grateful for and mention in my continuing blog of showing gratitude this month. You might think I'm silly, but I am grateful for socks. I was pleased to match up at least a dozen socks, and I had fewer unmatched than I think I've ever managed during my lifetime. It's the time of year when socks are very much a comfort. I am a little different from most, I think, as I wear socks even in summertime. Mostly it's because the bottoms of my feet are fairly tender. I rarely like stepping on surfaces barefoot. As an example, while I love the surroundings, sounds, smells of the ocean...I do not relish crossing beach sand. Although, I would welcome anyone that wanted to describe or treat me to a barefoot experience I might enjoy -- I've not given it much thought before. So, a native Californian, I'm a bit spoiled in the weather department. and almost all my socks are just sportweight cotton. I do actually like the feel of stockings and tights, but it's a much rarer clothing item I'll put myself in. I am bountifully supplied in all the clothing I desire. |
| Barometer of gratitude dropped low a few days, and it seems to have brought rain to Southern California! I realize I got off track with the challenge to mention something I am grateful about. Today, with some announced layoffs in the publishing arm of Tribune, I am reminded to be grateful for the needs of others. In a service profession, your day is incomplete without the requests of others -- subsequently, your job is non-existent if no one calls upon you to do something for them. Even as the newspaper advertising industry becomes more automated and self-serve, I still know the need to assist others through the changes will remain. |
| I've really gotten to like fellow WDC writer Sparky blog from Down Under -- I'm too lazy right now to do all the fancy links to the current entry and his post script. But I will take the time to note it in my own blog. If I would just stream-of-consciousness it alot more like he can. |
| Pain calls for sleep. I have slept better than usual the last three nights, but that's not to imply that I have been asleep all the time I've been absent from the blog. On the contrary, just pushing my limits, emotional, physical and intellectual. (OK, probably not pushing LIMITS when it comes to intellectual; I can be truthful.) But again, as is in the vein of this month's series, even pain and the idea of "growing pains" is something I can state gratitude for. While I was having a one-on-one meeting with my supervisor today, I reflected that certain demands at work had been making me uncomfortable, but that I was managing better than in my past by responding appropriately, with patience when I can. ( I work with sales people -- I hope that explains sufficiently.) It's just another step on the big game board of life -- being out of your comfort zone. Soon the practice you get at it makes you take further steps. And the one I am capable of taking now, is far from one I previously thought myself capable of -- the talent to reflect and recognize your own growth. |
| Is being thankful so much of a grind that we mammillian intellectuals can't keep up with it more than a day, a week or so? What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday? Powerful words. I pinned that a while back. That's a framed picture I should really make my own copy of -- not that I'm that spiritually superstitious that God is vindictive like that. I am daily in awe of how words are used, and so, I am also grateful for words and language Best line from Tin Man (2007) "You know you really should do something about that BITTER cynicism of yours Cain." |
| Early November is a time I assess the year. I think it happens very organically in this space of time. Seriously, who has time to redefine goals or plan out New Year's resolutions in any weekend after Veteran's Day? Sometimes I focus on the physical environment; the stuff: Replacing ruined carpeting, having newer shoes before we get rain, and more comfortable chairs (everywhere) – these are my simple needs. I want to meet my needs, right? Yet, we can all agree it is very easy to not put time into maintaining everyday comforts, because, well -- we're comfortable. You heard me. It's complacency and the unconscious desire to let our brain impulses run their rutted existence. We don't even see the clutter, the needed repair, the squeak in the wheel after a while. Digital photographs are a miraculous tool, if you find ways to let them lovingly nudge you awake. And I've recently given thought to a plan for having photos of these everyday things, before and after, in order to stay grateful and motivated. And once I replace an item, the old can fully go! Self-help titles might tell me this is merely de-cluttering, but self-coaching for low-attention creatives, I prefer to call it. Rick Tamlyn has recently released his book, Play Your Bigger Game published by Hay House. To be clear, I was sparked after reading the book to give myself a plan, like the small one I mention above. I didn't pick the title because I needed a bigger game, or did I? I'm reviewing it specifically with the BookNook community, as it is one of the newest releases. Know that the material it covers is the author's documentation of a popular workshop he and others provide as training at corporations, agencies, institutions and the like. With that in mind, I will honesty comment that this book may be more engaging as an audio book. I can hear the author's enthusiasm in his sharing. The structure of the book isn't faulty, I think I agree with the author's own early assessment that it is best to read the book through once fully and go back to read chapters as one develops their own "Bigger Game." A collection of twelve chapters, plus many pages of endorsements and a lengthy afterword are definitely suited to people looking for motivation, selecting chapters to focus on as one begins a Bigger Game. Rick differentiates a Bigger Game from a life purpose. You're likely to create a good work, or many if you already know your purpose. So, I think, "the game" prepares you to define a meaningful path in which your purpose most often intersects. I engaged as soon as he brought forth the most person-centered ideas some of his students developed. I was led to look up further information on the organizations one woman developed to better serve foster children [one, generationsofhope.org]. Although every story of every student he has impacted is likely very important to him, I sometimes found the process difficult to follow when punctuated continuously with success stories. The book makes a big promise in its own tag line, "Nine minutes to learn, a lifetime to live." I can tell you it took me more than nine minutes to figure out -- but I was delighted to figure out on my own that the claim was "nine minutes" due to the model having 9 boxes (like a tic-tac-toe board). It asks you to step out of your comfort zone, tells you it's important to invest in yourself and your own ideas, good stuff ultimately. This book would make an inspired gift if you are witness to a friend already on the cusp of stepping out in a big way with some creative idea. That empty-nester sister-in-law, or the still-at-home recent college grad, musician friend, or anyone looking to change careers, that type. When asked, I'm guilty of asking for gifts I will not budget for and invest in on my own. Is that a bad thing? In that small way, I still see myself as a child in accepting gifts. But, this year, I did make the step of asking for what I wanted, instead of simply deeming myself unworthy. You could be the compassionate person who sees a need in someone where this book's advice could be their nudge to that first step. I acknowledge that I received this book free of charge from Hay House in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion. You can purchase a copy of this October 2013 release, Play Your Bigger Game on the Hay House website and other retail sites. I'm interested to know what folks think of the Twitter public offering announced this week. There's people who barely know what Twitter is thinking it's a grand investment. Would it be a bad pun to say I find Twitter to be a lark? My drive to write consistently in my blog since adding book reviews to my blog has also increased my desire to type in 140 character increments on Twitter, coincidence? You decide! Please feel free to comment, dear followers. |
| T-Minus, not even one minute. Got caught up in one of the new sitcoms on CBS and missed my deadline to keep the blog streak going. Determination is my hallmark activity in life. But I just missed this mark. So, I will mention being intrigued by a search today on cruises and finding out that you can book "world" cruises 50+ days, 70+ days, 120 days involving destinations like Japan, Singapore, Thailand, Australia -- who needs a 23 hour flight if you have 20K for a world cruise. What a motivator for that easily distracted determination? I'd need a financial planner, a CEO salary and maybe a lottery win? I can envision it, though. Does this tie into what I am grateful for? How about my successfully relaxed attitude...even in the face of fumbling around. |
| I'm noticing I'm not very personable in my choices as I share those things for which I am grateful. I know I could mention my family and my friends, even my pets. I guess I'm often trying to be clever and, so once again, I choose to select just something that I noticed today -- my sense of smell. I am grateful to have one that detects much better than some I know. Today, I warned someone in the break room that the toaster seemed to be scorching their toast. I can usually tell if the car is a quart low on oil. I even tossed the leftovers that were going on their third day as available lunch; it just smelled a bit off. I hope that it is my sense of smell that has helped me be that much more appreciative of life and all its stages. When I was a young high schooler, I volunteered on occasion at the local convalesent hospital. That was one of my first times learning to manage around overpowering smells. It literally was the disenfectant that was masking everything. I truly hated the smell, It always hit me when the doors first slid open -- but I did not let it stop me. People received just that little bit of joy by having someone come to visit and be cared for by someone just passing through rather than the medical personnel. I also know that I do really gross things as a mom -- things that impact the sense of smell. I guess that brings me to a strong constitution I can be proud of too; not every member of my family can handle what I can. |
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