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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/wseerden/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/5
by werden
Rated: 18+ · Book · Other · #1180282
My thoughts about life
This is my first blog entry. I decided to try entering my thoughts on an online journal. I guess my first entry should be on how I reached this decision. I saw in the latest (well a couple of weeks ago) contests letter a piece about blogging. I checked out the blogs portion of the site and I was impressed. So many people sharing the intimate details of their lifes. I want to do my part.

This may not be the best blog entry, I know. But, I want to learn how to express myself better. I also want more people to get to know me on the site.

Today I plan on watching college football and reading during the commercials with the mute button on :). I may check some more of my e-mails and read some more online stories and try and comment on them. I try reviewing everything i read. I admit sometimes I read something and dont review it. Other times I am afraid I write a pretty crappy review. But noone has commented so far.

Well I will go for now.
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 -5- 6 7 8 ... Next
April 27, 2007 at 10:03am
April 27, 2007 at 10:03am
#504489
I basically decided to just write in my journal and then copy and paste my thoughts here. Normally I do it the other way around on Friday. But I decided to do it this way, today. Why? I do not know... maybe just to be different.

My teeth are not getting infected. I just need to get my left wisdom teeth out. My roommate is hard to live with. I think because I can't relate to him. He doesn't get fired up about anything. I can't pray with him. I can't really talk to him. I feel as if I am stifled living here. Don't get me wrong. I save so much money living so close to work. But I pray for another living arrangment. I simply can't handle the waiting. Holding on is so frustrating. I miss a friend that i haven't seen in several years. I do. I know I probably shouldn't but her absence is a constant load on me, an emptiness in my heart. I would gladly call her if I felt I could talk to her. But I don't know how to call her. The last times I have tried, I left a message on her answering machine and she has never called me back.

I am also engaged in pointless talk with liberals. It may be pointless but there are changes in me. I am getting into a deeper level of who I really am. I am coming to terms with my own hatred and anger for liberals and I am being cleansed. They will continue to hate me, I know because they can do nothing else. But my hatred for them is slowly slipping away.

Now I have 2 days in which to write. Choices. I know I need to work on assignment 8 for class. I also need to re-edit Chapter 4 for Hope of Darkness. I also need to go over my short stories and spruce them up so I can enter them into the short story contest. I have many things to do, so many that I don't know how I am going to get them all done.
April 20, 2007 at 10:00am
April 20, 2007 at 10:00am
#502954
I decided to write my blog in week increments. Because that really is about the only time I have to do it.

I work 10 hours a day in front of the computer and when I get home I have learned to just simply leave the computer off. I only have about 2-3 hours anyway and I have wasted that time in pointless arguments on blogs and forums.

So Friday and Saturday are the only days I have really to write. I choose to take Sunday as a Sabbath to refresh myself and temporarily unplug from the pressures I deal with.

I need to find a way to make Friday and Saturday count. I can write amazingly fast with what little time I have. I produced almost 7000 words last weekend of writing, reviewing, rewriting and editing. That is a bout 1000 words a day. So I don't think that is bad at all.

My wisdom teeth on the left side are sore. I was told that they need to go. I am not crazy about that but I recognize the wisdom. I hope I can get them out before they start an infection. I hear how infections in the mouth can spread through the rest of the body. However, I refuse to let myself be afraid. I will trust in the Lord and rely on His strength through this.

Well, there is not much else to say. My work week was really long and slow. Ever since my boss took away my internet access I have been forced to concentrate exclusively on work. At a job, no less... how horrible :). But seriously, my time on the internet was a good diversion giving me something to do to keep my thoughts away from work for a few minutes. However, I signed on a forum and got obsessed with arguing back and forth all day long. So in retrospect, I think it was better for me that my internet access was taken away. But it makes my day drag on without it... I have to fight to stay awake.

Unfortunately I am not in the position, yet, to leave my job so I must soldier on.

I guess that is it for now.

God Bless everyone who reads this. I hope you all have a good week.
April 20, 2007 at 10:00am
April 20, 2007 at 10:00am
#502953
I decided to write my blog in week increments. Because that really is about the only time I have to do it.

I work 10 hours a day in front of the computer and when I get home I have learned to just simply leave the computer off. I only have about 2-3 hours anyway and I have wasted that time in pointless arguments on blogs and forums.

So Friday and Saturday are the only days I have really to write. I choose to take Sunday as a Sabbath to refresh myself and temporarily unplug from the pressures I deal with.

I need to find a way to make Friday and Saturday count. I can write amazingly fast with what little time I have. I produced almost 7000 words last weekend of writing, reviewing, rewriting and editing. That is a bout 1000 words a day. So I don't think that is bad at all.

My wisdom teeth on the left side are sore. I was told that they need to go. I am not crazy about that but I recognize the wisdom. I hope I can get them out before they start an infection. I hear how infections in the mouth can spread through the rest of the body. However, I refuse to let myself be afraid. I will trust in the Lord and rely on His strength through this.

Well, there is not much else to say. My work week was really long and slow. Ever since my boss took away my internet access I have been forced to concentrate exclusively on work. At a job, no less... how horrible :). But seriously, my time on the internet was a good diversion giving me something to do to keep my thoughts away from work for a few minutes. However, I signed on a forum and got obsessed with arguing back and forth all day long. So in retrospect, I think it was better for me that my internet access was taken away. But it makes my day drag on without it... I have to fight to stay awake.

Unfortunately I am not in the position, yet, to leave my job so I must soldier on.

I guess that is it for now.

God Bless everyone who reads this. I hope you all have a good week.
April 13, 2007 at 9:49am
April 13, 2007 at 9:49am
#501461
Once again a blog about writing. Once again I face a week where I have done little or no writing. I work a 10-hour schedule and I go to the gym on Tuesday nights and to a bible study on Wesdnesday nights. So I only have a couple of hours during the normal work week to get some work done.

But yet, I do not. Why is that? Is it because I am lazy? Is it because I am just worn out by the week? I am not sure. Now I am sure everyone who has sat in front of a computer for 10 hours knows how exhausting that is. When you get home you do not want to even turn on a computer. But I do. I turn on the computer to play games, to participate in forum chats. Yet, I do not write.

I look in the mirror and I will have to say that I am not a writer. I want to be one. But I am not one yet. From what I have heard other writers say, they have to write. Writing compells them to get in front of the keyboard and type away every day even if it is just for thirty minutes or so.

I am not at that point in my life. I would like to be there, but I have to admit I am not. So how do I get there? It will take dedication, something that I do not have a large amount of. I try to have it. I go to work determined to write when I get home but it never happens.

Does it take grace from God? I have tried that route too. I have prayed and prayed for grace. I get enough to write on the weekends but not enough to write at the end of the work day.

Does that mean that maybe I shouldn't write at the end of the work day? Does that mean that maybe I need to unwind and put all my cares behind me? Or am I just lazy.

One thing I have found out about God is that He will not make you do something that you don't want to do. So again it comes down to a question of my will.

Do I want to be a writer?

If I do, then I will have to dig down deep and find the dedication to write, even when I am tired and don't feel like it.
March 29, 2007 at 7:41pm
March 29, 2007 at 7:41pm
#498379
Again I think I will expound on the inspiration for my writing. I am at a time in my life when the inspiration for my writing really isn't there. My muse, so to speak, is as dry as chalk dust.

So where do you go, what do you do if the inspiration is dry?

That is a difficult question.

For me... I take a break but eventually I have to get back to the keyboard. So when I do... I write... I find something to write and just write.. that is the only way I know how to break through the dry spells

Sort of what I am doing now

:)
March 24, 2007 at 10:30am
March 24, 2007 at 10:30am
#497349
More of my thoughts of writing a story, something I have to admit I need a lot of work on.

The main thing I will go into here is the need to see through your character's eyes. Your character must be so real to you it is almost as if you become your character. This applies to the setting as well. You must get to the place where you find yourself magically transported to the setting seeing it through your character's eyes.

This is not easy to do. I think it akin to playing a movie in your mind. What makes that difficult is as we all know, movies aren't much into smells, tastes and inner thoughts and feelings.

You have to project yourself into the movie. When I watch a movie I am usually good at projecting myself into a movie. That is one reason, btw, that I don't usually nitpick over little details, I am so caught up into what is happening that I gloss over them.

This is more difficult when I write because I am visualizing the movie that I am writing. So it turns me into the producer, director, acter, scene writer, etc all at the same time. Not an easy task. That is why setting time aside to write is so vital. It usually takes time to enter into this mode.

But when I am there, it is so worth it because that is when my work really shines.
March 17, 2007 at 12:13pm
March 17, 2007 at 12:13pm
#495722
Back to the grind of writing. I took a week off after I finished an assignment for school. I attend a writing school which is all about publication.

I am thinking I don't know if I want to be published... It seems an awful lot of work and there is not much freedom to truly express yourself. It seems you are writing more for the editors and the readers then expressing yourself

Or maybe it is because I am lazy... or maybe it is because I do things differently then others.

I will stick with this course however. Even if I don't get anything published they give me some writing lessons and I learn something about the publishing world. Those things are always helpful.

I learn something about myself as well. Writing is a spiritual process as much as it is a physical one and a mental one.
March 10, 2007 at 1:46pm
March 10, 2007 at 1:46pm
#493984
I have just been insulted in another public forum because I consider myself a sheep of Christ.

I don't consider that an insult. I am glad to be a sheep of Christ.

I know what I am. I am a man, weak and flawed like any other who needs and desires the grace of God. I am not offended by the mockery of others. It only saddens me because they don't know Jesus like I do.

If only I can know Him more!
March 4, 2007 at 4:13pm
March 4, 2007 at 4:13pm
#492401
Problems surround me.

My mind is full of confusion and doubt.

I don't know where to turn or who to trust.

I ask the Lord "What should I do? Where should I go? Who should I trust?"

His answer is very simple

"Be still and know that I am God"
March 1, 2007 at 9:23pm
March 1, 2007 at 9:23pm
#491609
I spent a fun 10+ hrs working today. I woke up late and had to endure 1 hour worth of traffic because nobody here knows how to drive in the rain. Then I had to go to an all day training session. When I got back to the office, I saw that my desk was covered with work. Since all the work has to be done by tomorrow I stayed another hour to 6:30 at night to finish up.

I have to finish this stuff tomorrow regardless of how long it takes. I will get overtime but it wears me out just thinking about it. I have no time for writing and I have a writing school assignment due in about 7 days. I have no idea what I am going to do. Thank God that I am pretty much done with it. All I have to do is proofread it a couple more times. Still, I get annoyed at this constant work load..

I saw something new at the training session. Basically how my attitude affects everyone around me. So, while I feel frustrated at life, I must strive to maintain a good attitude to encourage everyone around me.

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