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| Life Update: These past few months, I’ve been trying to find medication that works for my severe depression, panic disorder, and OCD dark intrusive, obsessive and anxious thoughts. I was in a really really bad place for the past few months— I really didn’t think I was going to make it out alive— I truly believed I would commit suicide before I reach my 26th birthday in August. I still struggle with those thoughts, honestly. I still struggle with wishing I didn’t exist. BUT thankfully, within these past few days, my psychiatrist and I have found a medication combo that has been working for me! I actually have motivation to go down to the gym and work out every day, I’m becoming a better friend to my best friend. I’ve been getting out of the house more, despite absolutely hating with a passion the obese, fat slob I see in the mirror and am really really trying to make thinner through exercise. (Before, I literally left my house maybe 6 times a year for the past 3 years because my self esteem and anxiety has been so bad). I’m finally sleeping more than 2 hours a night, too! AND my anxiety has been under control enough to allow me to start learning how to drive! I have a few physical health issues I need to take care of and see specialists about, but hopefully those won’t need serious surgical fixes, so that I can find the right job and start working again and getting my life back on track! I’m seriously feeling more hopeful than I’ve felt in 4-5 years now— I forgot what having hope FELT LIKE. And I’m just so thankful to finally find medications that work for my mental health so that I can function like this again 😭😭😭 I’m in tears at how blessed I feel right now. Thank you, Jesus for this blessing!   Sorry for the novel— I don’t know if anyone actually cares about this stuff going on in my life, but I figured that I’d update y’all anyways. If anyone even reads this…. Idk. Maybe nobody cares and I shouldn’t be posting this. Idk, but I guess I just will anyways since it’s all typed out 😅 So…. Yeah…. Anyone who cares & reads to this point— thank you! I appreciate you  |
| Yay! It is always good to hear when people find the right combo for them. I am so glad you are digging out of that dark place. I am sure it isn't as hard to keep on going now that you can see the light on the horizon. |
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Congratulations! I'm so sad you went through such a terrible time, but I'm definitely happy that you've found a medication combination that is helping! Congratulations!  Keep up the great work!  |
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   You are back on track and things will get – dare I say it? – more better!  Improved sleep will continue to make a difference for you, too. I'm so happy you're back, and that you're comfortable enough here to share your story. I hope you'll always remember you are numero uno, chica!  |
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| I've added a new poem to my portfolio. It's about the end of my fifteen-year-long friendship, and being abruptly betrayed and abandoned by someone that I had once called a 'sister.' We became best friends when we were seven years old; we became strangers at twenty-two years old. It's been three years since then, and I can still feel the hole in my chest. I spend a lot of time crying in my bathtub, alone, wondering how something that I thought was so valuable, could've just been thrown away like nothing, in the blink of an eye. Anyways, if you can relate— I am so so sorry. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.
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| My best friend decided after 31 years that our friendship was not worth it. I married his wife's cousin... and when they split, I was abused for not telling him, although we were left out of the loop. Then life started downhill for me, and he dumped me. So... I do know how you feel in my own weird way... |
| stevengepp Im so so sorry that you know this pain. You didn’t deserve to be discarded like that. I know how hard it is because on one hand, you want to be like, “well screw them, anyways! If that’s how they’re going to be, then I’m better off without them!” but on the other, you just can’t help but feel empty without them. You’re grieving the loss of somebody who is still alive, but only dead to you. It’s hard for outsiders to understand just how painful that is. It’s not a wound that heals quickly. I wish I could give you a big hug. Thank you for making me feel less alone, and commenting with your own experience— I hate that you’ve experienced this, too. You aren’t disposable. You matter. It’s a character flaw on their end if they have the ability to drop you like they did— it’s not a reflection of your worth. |
DestinyAwaitsDarling   - most of my friends have fallen by the wayside, but that one hurt most because I had always supported him and when I needed help he ghosted me. That was 10 years ago. I even sent him a cool 50th birthday gift and card. I was told he gave the gift away. But, let's be honest... I have no friends IRL. All my friends exist online, but I don't really know them... Alone is standard. |
| Hello, lovely people! I have added a new writing to my portfolio! This one was inspired by my last hospital stay, and how difficult it was to get anybody to hear me. Especially because of my young age, and the fact that I'm a woman, most doctors I've encountered tend to just 'brush me off'— no matter how many times I try to tell them that I can FEEL that something is wrong. I honestly, and truly believe that if it weren't for my mom refusing to leave my side every time I'm in the ER, or have been admitted 'overnight' (it's ALWAYS longer bc I'm so prone to 'complications'), I may not have survived many of my previous stays. So, that concludes in the simplest terms, the feelings behind my words, in this poem. If you feel you can relate in any way, please let me know! It's hard to find people who understand 'the struggle.'
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| I know I’m not really alone— I have a few messages to answer on here, and I can read back kind responses & messages I’ve gotten in the past… and those ARE good enough… but damn… sometimes, I really miss having a friend whose arms I can safely cry in… |
| This is true. What I know about you is what you choose to share. A friend who knows you would know your needs. There are times the only thing that works is a real hug, not a virtual one. I hope someone drops into your life ready to be a friend. One can be lonely in a crowded room. ((((hugs)))) 🌷🌞😎🌈.⭐️🎈✔️🎵 |
| Good 'morning' (it's 2am here, in Texas), lovelies! I have added a new writing to my portfolio.  It is about intrusive thoughts, and my daily struggle with them. If any of you can relate, and are comfortable sharing that with me, please feel free to message me! I'm kind-of behind on my messages right now, but don't let that stop you from reaching out! I WILL respond, at some point! I'm just trying to get my shit together  . On the other side of the spectrum, though— if you still don't quite understand what 'intrusive thoughts' are, even after reading my poem— and you wish to learn more about them— please, also feel free to message me! We don't know what we don't know; there is no shame in that! I promise.
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| I’m really struggling, today… |
| Hey, remember you're not alone. It's hard to see now, but you're growing stronger - just posting here took an act of courage. When you're in pain, even if it feels wrong, try to be your own best friend and take special care of yourself. Give yourself a break if you can, take a nap, have a special favorite coffee or tea or baked treat; cuddle up in a cozy blanket and watch a favorite movie or read a favorite book – no guilt allowed. Try to let whatever's hurting you pass over and move on – like a rainstorm – while you do what's best for you. You deserve love and comfort, Destiny, just like everybody else does. Take a deep breath and allow yourself to be your best friend. |
| Hello, my darlings!!! I just wanted to pop in and introduce y'all to my friend from the UK— Erithacus ! He is a brilliant poet, with a big heart, and a deep desire to uplift other writers. About a month ago, I came across his poetry on Twitter, and after spontaneously joining his 'Virtual Open Mic Night' over Zoom, we have continued to grow a great friendship that I cherish very much. That being said, I— OF COURSE— had to tell him about WDC, so now, he is a 'newbie' here, along with me! Please go give his portfolio some love (he has already uploaded so many of his beautiful poems!), if you are interested in getting to know a truly stellar human being, and poet! I know that, since joining WDC, I have become a much happier; more courageous person, and I am so excited for him to receive the same encouragement and love that all of you have been showing me these past ~6 months. Erithacus — Thank you so much for trusting me, and joining this amazing community! I can't thank you enough for all of the encouragement and support that you have given me, just throughout this short time of knowing you. I am so excited to see how much your self-confidence grows, as a result of being part of this huge 'family.'  I know that you know this already, but I will always be in your corner, and proud to call you my friend!  |
| Hello, my darlings! I have added a new, short poem to my portfolio. Expressed very briefly, I feel this poem sums up why interpersonal relationships are so nerve-wracking for me. If you feel you can relate, I’d love to know about it! We can be anxious over-thinkers, together!
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| Hello, my lovely people!!! I have added a new writing to my portfolio. Please, let me know what you think, or if you can relate, in any way! I adore all of you, and I'm so thankful to have found this site— I've always struggled with self-confidence, but I feel like since finding WDC, I am finally starting to see the 'good' in me. I still have a lot of growing to do, and I know my life is just getting started, but after three years of being completely 'stuck,' and stagnant, I am proud of the progress I've already made. I think 'childhood me' would be, too. To anyone currently struggling right now: Keep fighting for yourself. You're worth it. As long as you are breathing, and blood is coursing through your veins, you have hope. I believe in you.
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| buddhangela It is so good to BE back!!! Thank you so much for your constant support, and all of your sweet messages! Your unwavering presence has been a much-needed reminder that for once, I am wanted, and missed. I belong here. That feels so good to say! |
I added a new item to my portfolio, if anyone wants to read it!
P.S. buddhangela : THANK YOU SO MUCH for the sweet Merit Badge, and the kind words you wrote with it!!! I was BAWLING last night when I saw it.  You are seriously a truly amazing human being, and I am so incredibly blessed to know you! I've been in a really really really low place, mentally AND physically these past few months, and your ongoing comments of support, & you reassuring me that my not being up to answering e-mails or anything really won't affect our friendship, or connection when I do feel up to talking more regularly with others again, is MONUMENTAL, and means THE WORLD to me. So, THANK YOU. Thank you so much, my sweet, lovely, unconditionally-present friend; YOU have made my darkest, and loneliest days seem more bearable, & like I actually do have hope of getting through them. I adore you!!!!!!!  |
| Hey, peeps, and peepettes! Fun new fact about my life! Apparently, as a— very lucky— 25 yr old, it turns out that I have Multilevel Degenerative Disc Disease! After spending almost 5 days in the hospital, in excruciating pain, a Spinal MRI FINALLY showed the culprit, and it was DDD. It also showed that I have 3 bulging disks in my neck/“cervical spine”— if you wanna get fancy— (1 protruding into my spinal cord), and 1 in my left, lower back/“lumbar spine.” There were other vertebrae and disc abnormalities, but I won’t bore y’all with ALL the details. LOL. I probably won’t be online as much, at least until the pain subsides, and the meds stop knocking me out, but in the meantime— I added 2 poems to my portfolio, if you’d like to read them. I will still be trying to catch up on reviews, and all that whenever I’m conscious enough, not scheduling & attending dr appointments, physical therapy, etc., and just generally when I feel ‘up to it.’  I love y’all!
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Hello, lovely besties-in-the-making!!! I have added a new item to my portfolio with some 'fun facts' about me! I think I managed to sum up the most important parts of me pretty well, but I also, obviously left a lot out because of length. My inbox is getting full, and I am panicking, trying to part with so many heartfelt past-e-mails I have received, but need to delete to make space for new ones that will be coming in, and that I will be sending out (because of where I'm at in life currently— which I'd love to explain to those who are, personally curious, and care— I don't have any funds to upgrade my storage, & probably won't anytime soon, despite my efforts)— but regardless, if you read my post, and feel you'd like to be friends, I would LOVE to learn more about YOU, too!
P.S. Needless to say, but I will still say it— I am still working on responding to existing reviews & e-mails, and I have already begun some that are waiting to be finished in my drafts; I just need to figure out the e-mail storage thing first! I love all of you dearly! Most of the reviewers, & e-mailers I mentioned in my second-to-last note are who this 'P.S.' still applies to, but I am also adding ♫~ Kenword~♫  , Sunny  , and fyn-21 wdc years and writing!  , who have sent me new e-mails and reviews that I have seen, and am still looking VERY forward to responding to, once I figure out my inbox-craziness! |
Hello, lovely people! I have added a new writing to my portfolio. This one is something that I just wrote, literally a few minutes ago, and it very much shows a clear look inside my head and where I am at in my life, at this moment. I love y'all.
P.S. I am still getting around to replying to e-mails and reviews and such— I haven't been in a great place mentally, recently (which is no excuse, but I just want to offer an explanation), so if I haven't responded to you yet, please know that you haven't been forgotten and I will definitely get back to you! I really cherish every single thing I receive from every one of you. |
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