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Review of Downhill  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight*Happy June Soldier_Mike! I am happy to pop in with a review for you!


*Snow4* Your title is evocative as after reading your piece I thought of sliding down hill and also of the old saying of it's all down hill from here after a certain AGE! (which I do not buy into at all.) *Laugh* The look of the piece on the page reminds me of a snow hill too. Awesome creation.

*Burstr* The contrast of feeling between the child and the elder is effectively expressed using the natural symbol of snow and the experience of sledding. The first few lines lured me in with the free space and the assonance of your chosen words. The wide open sound of "a". I liked "us" and "rush" too.

*Bursty*It is so true, when parenting is done, we long to be kids again...and be free with grandkids without the "parent type of responsibility". LOL At least, so I have heard. *Laugh*
I enjoyed the philosophical edge to the poem as well as the longing for that old feeling of eternity...

*Star* Thanks for sharing this fine vision that inspires us to ponder. Let's keep playing while we can. *Wink*

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Review of Broken  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star**BalloonB*Welcome to WDC Delora! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Delight*

*Burstp* Wow! This short paragraph has a potent sadness to it as you share your experience with loss. The title is perfect for the theme and feel of the piece.

*Thumbsup* You show the contrast of the happy moment with the stark reality. One can really feel the poet's sadness though the exact nature of the promise and how the child was lost to her is not stated directly. *Star* It made me curious.

*Bursto*I noticed a couple of typos: "iI wake up" and "the biggest a Mommy". I am not sure what this means.

*Star* Thanks for sharing your first item with us. Keep on writing and heal as you go. *Heart*

Keep on Writing!*Smile*

eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hey Tinker! I am happy to read your entry as part of "I Write in 2019"! *Carv*

*Carr**Laugh* Oh I totally get the vibe of this experience of car hunting! Ahh!
Sounds like it worked out for the poet. *Smile* You really captured how the person felt about the old car.

*Carb* I had not heard of this form until the Poet's Place email and have not had time to give it a go so it was fun to read your dynamic model of Shoelaces! Interesting names folks give to forms. *Think* It really has a distinct flow with stops and starts and the rhyme scheme is complex. Well planned for effect. Hard to have a rhyme pattern with only 11 lines. LOL the word "way" is all alone. *Wink*

*Carr* I am not sure of the need for a comma after "compromise" as I paused and then it seemed that it woudl naturally flow into the next line. *Confused*

*Carg*I liked the dramatic effect of exclamation mark in the second last line as it showed the charge of emotion quickly.

*Thumbsup* I had so much fun entering into this vision and the effects of this form. Thanks for sharing your craft and vivid expression.

Keep on writing on! I appreciate your website too. Wow! So many forms of poetry you have researched. *Star*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi turtlemoon-dohi, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest! Here are my brief comments on your dragon song! *Fire*


*Dragon* Oh Wow! This is such a creative and unique expression with its drawer dragon theme! I enjoyed the mystery and the minute by minute unfolding of the scene. The free verse suits the theme and story very well and I could imagine the girl and the bubble and I loved the personification of the "wee pajama"! *Delight*

*Dragon* The opening of the poem in red font is inviting and charmed me in with its vivid image. I like also the invitation to the reader to continue with their own imagination! I can see you continuing the saga! I would want to hear more. LOL

*Dragon*It was a pleasure to read as your use of assonance, consonance and alliteration is effective and the concept of "worm whisperer" and "renaissance reputation" are brilliant! *Star*
I had fun entering in to your vision!

*Star*Thanks for sharing your marvelous imagination in this poem, which also appealed to mine. *Wink*

Keep the quill scribing! *Star*
eyestar


A dragon reading a book by candle light
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Review of Broken Promises  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi huntersmoon, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest! Here are my brief comments on your dragon song! *Fire*


Wonderful! What a delightful tale about dragons. I like the idea of beginning in the present and regaling of past times of dragon magic. Using italics and plain fonts was helpful in denoting the time change. *Smile*

*Dragon* The poem story is interesting and I liked that elves and dwarves were involved too. *Wink* Your story is coherent and involves all the earth elements as you share the termoil. I really enjoyed the last verse with its repeated refrain that echos through time and still remains a hope and dream: Peace! *Thumbsup*

*Dragon* Your creation has a fine form with a set rhyme scheme and free style rhythm at times. I can appreciate how much effort it must have taken to get the last lines of each verse to rhyme with a second one. eg. "themselves", elves".

*Dragon* The poem celebrates the dragons of myth and history with man and I could imagine the scenery and drama from your clear vivid description. I felt badly for the ruined earth...which is always a casualty of any war! *Sad* The metaphor of the story could relate and mirror to many times in history. Brilliant conception!

*Dragon* I loved the personification of the clouds in the first verse and the name "sky serpents" and it lured me into the poem from the start.

Impressive tale that appealed to my imagination and heart! Thanks for sharing your vision and crafting! *Starstruck*

Keep the quill scribing! *Star* Good luck in the contest.
eyestar


A dragon reading a book by candle light
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Review of Celtic Dragon  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Carly, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest! Here are my brief comments on your Celtic dragon! *Fire*


*Dragon* I love how you show the magesty and heroism of this "dragon" by using short lines and strong sounding words and some capital letters to describe its facets and magical aspects. *Thumbsup*

*Dragon*The concepts shared are interesting and unique lore. Thanks for sharing the cool information in your notes. *Smile* I like how you weave the beliefs into a coherent poem. The connection to Pendragon is brilliant too.

*Dragon* I wondered about the two lines that begin with "that". The first instance could be changed to "which" and that would also add to the flow with alliterative "W". *Wink*

*Dragon**Star*Wonderful read with a resounding praise of the Celtic Dragon! Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! Good luck in the contest.

Keep the quill scribing! *Star*
eyestar


A dragon reading a book by candle light
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight*Happy Spring Prosperous Snow! I am so happy to review your awesome poem for "I Write 2019!"

Wow! I absolutely enjoyed reading your vivid poem. It made my morning brighter! Your use of imagery is brilliant as you weave these seemingly unconnected prompt words into a cohesive and meaningful message! *Salute* Your metaphor using "matter", "petals" and earth soil is wonderful. I like how you got the word "reaper" and "disguise" to fit with the theme. Very creative thinking. I imagine it took some time to compose this. *Smile*

Phrases like "marble of matter" and "wind of dawn" inspired my imagination! AWEsome notions! The free style poem is a pleasure to read for its flow and soundscape and the joyfulness and faith of the voice shines through. I like the bits of rhyme, alliteration and assonance useage.

The title is so appealing and fits the theme of this inspirational philosophy! Thanks so much for sharing your craft and gift. *Starstruck*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Flowerr* Hiya Tinker! I am happy to review your interesting entry in "I Write 2019."*Delight*


Wow! This is an impressive construction. I had not heard of it until I saw it at the Poet's Place and now here. The name is cool...insane cinquain! *Laugh* Thanks for the convenient link about how it works. I did check it out and your example reflects the forum correctly. *Thumbsup*

I enjoyed reading the poem aloud for its fine rhyme, flow and your choice of vocabulary that includes lovely alliteration, assonance and consonance. I like the theme and can so relate to the experience. The heavier sounding words in verse one gives a sense of not wanting to face the work, an effective contrast with the shorter softer words and image of the last verse. One can feel the comfort and coziness of the bedroom. *Thumbsup* The imagery is vivid.

I can appreciate the effort to create the contrasting images and follow the format. Wonderful crafting. *Star*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Flowerp*Happy Spring Megan! I am happy to review this newsletter as I see I have not, and as part of our Non Fiction Raid!*Delight*

*Quill* Another beautifully designed page with lovely images and colourful font. It would be cool if the picture of Jane at the top could be centered. *Wink*

*Quill* It was fun reading more facts about Jane and her life. I am amazed at how many things you unearth: her making tea and coffee, that she loved cats and that there are extra chapters of one of her books. And that her mom did not like one of her novels? Wow! It is cool to that you found that another author had her characters read Austen's book. *Delight* It really shows again her influence and how desireable her treasures are.

*Quill*I did not know what kind of ink she used...amazing how people in the past were so inventive. *Shock2* I always learn unique information in your sharing!

*Star* The page was organized and coherent, easy to read and a delightful tribute to Jane! Thanks for continuing to keep us informed about all things Austen. *Heart*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight*Happy Spring Patricia! I am happy to review your article in our NON Fiction Raid! *Flowerp*


*Delight* I enjoyed reading your article. I am not a novel writer and I agree with your comment on how characters are so vital as when I read often it is the characters I want to know about, and follow. while all things work to build the world I enter, if they do not hook me, I may not read on. *Wink*

*Delight* Writing from your experience as a backdrop gives your commentary expertise and validity. References to mentors, tropes and the vid links are convenient and give readers more information and insight. I had not heard of tropes! What fun. It is always interesting to learn how authors create and work to weave novels. I cannot imagine it.

*Star*Thanks for sharing your experience and advice with WDC. Thanks to for the links to your books on how work with novel writing.

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Happy Spring Gabriella! *Flowerr*


*Bee*
The title drew my attention as I love to observe and reflect on nature. *Smile*
The scene you describe is engaging and so vivid it came to life in my mind's eye. The language and flow was prosaic and lovely to read aloud. The query you pose at the start engaged my interest as it was a unique idea.

*Ant*Your accurate observation of the scene in the meadow was calming and captured the essence of nature's beauty and the poet's feelings about it brilliantly. I enjoyed the personification aspect and descrptions like "comforting gibberish", "quiet tangle", "civil unrest" of the fox etc. I like how you bring us closer to your spot in the canvas from the wider vista. The ants and bee on the coffee center us in.

*Angel* The ending memory reflection was potent and one can feel for the poet. It makes me want to appreciate the moments that we have, knowing that all things will pass away.

*Star*A well crafted and moving expression! Thanks for sharing. I loved it!

eyestar
redone anniversary version without number!
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Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "April 14, 2019
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Delight*Hi ridinghhood! I am so happy to review your unique entry in the 'I Write in 2019'. I always enjoy your wisdom and tarot connections!

*Wind*The short verse is clear in its imagery and I like the mirror effect of a rain storm and the inner termoil that you show. The third line is wonderful in imagery and soundscape. "water cure" is cool!

*Think*I wondered about the last line "with out" as to whether it should be one word, yet the pause is interesting. Regular spelling is "without" and can mean outside. So I understood it. *Wink*

*Star*Your response to the word prompt is brilliant with its connection to the natural world and human psyche. Well done in only 24 syllables too.

I enjoyed the added Tarot card and the idea of Communion makes sense with your insight in the poem. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your original vision! *Star*

eyestar
new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers
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Review of GRIN & BEAR IT  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hiya DR Smith! I am happy to read this requested item.


*Laugh* Oh my gosh! This is too funny and you did a good job at making the whole solution to the problem a very serious matter...as if the conversion of the creature was so natural! *Laugh* The title is evocative and fits the theme and twist.

I liked the way you characterized the three men of the cloth and you did a great job with the accent of the Rabbi. The conversation between the clergyman carried the story and showed the characters. Their stories of the bear encounters were entertaining and far fetched. The language was well chosen and imagine a clergy saying "butt" or "what in blue blazes" and the priest's tale had a touch of the Irish magic! The rabbi's experience was the funniest and quite the twist! I burst out laughing. Good lesson!

I was drawn into the story from the first line and like how the "Once upon a time" sets us up for some fun. A posh retreat and competing to see who is best converter in the wild backs it up as a fantasy comedy. Brilliant conception and well written.

Very entertaining and creative with a lively dialogue and dramatic flair. *Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your vision, craft and a bit of fun.

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar
** Image ID #2187621 Unavailable **
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Review of ORCA VISIT  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Hiya J.L. O'Dell! I am happy to review your requested item!


*Whale1* Wow! I would love to see whales in the wild...one day! The theme is so appealing as these creatures are majestic and magical.

The poem about your experience with Orca sighting is fun to read with its vivid images. I liked the short lines that are direct to the point. The rhythm is not even but nor is the sea voyage.
You did a fair job with the rhyme scheme though a few are really off rhymes. The last verse rhymes are really off and yet... you had to get back to port.*Wink* "more and below" also could be stronger.

I just had a thought.. "South for the ship. Cameras still clicking.....as they gave us the slip,*Laugh*

I think "Orca's" in verse one needs to be "Orcas" for plural form.
I noticed you mostly use the past tense so I was thrown out a bit at "Tasting the rain as we go" which is a present tense.

You don't need a comma after "knew" and "grannie". In "she played and she swam" you could leave off the second "she" for better flow, unless it is for emphasis.

These lines:
"The ship moved closer,
As we neared our prey."
say similar things. Perhaps have the ship slow down as you near your prey. *Think*

*Delight*Ok, enough of my pickiness! I hope it helps. *Heart* It must have been a great vibe to be that close to the Orcas and you show us the family unit clearly. It was lovely to imagine. The poem is well worth tweaking! Thanks for sharing your love of Orcas! And for letting me get involved in your poem and playing with it. *Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar
** Image ID #2187621 Unavailable **
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Review of Welcome To Life  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Delight*HI Keaton. Another of your philosophical free style pondering has popped up on the Read and Review page. It has been a while so I am happy to read your work.



I am always fascinated by how you can write in these short lines and still give meaningful measages that flow one to the other. I always have a lot to ponder as I read and reflect. I enjoy that engagement. *Thumbsup*

I liked the images of the breeze out the car window and the urge to ask more questions and Eden being an idea and the image of standing with hands raised to the sun! Such positive encouragements for living in the present with praise and grace! I liked the last lines about screaming welcome. I can sense an enthusiasm and why not!

I did not quite get this connection:
"Two and a half dozen
Of the other"
Feels like there is a word missing or something. *Wink*

Also I queried over : "Confess to yourself" and it followed my questions. I wondered if "ask' would be more coherent.

Other than that it flowed quite easily in a coherent manner where the mind can make connections.
Thanks for the unique advice and vision. *Starstruck*

eyestar
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Review of Chaul Chnam Thmey  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hi Tinker! I am happy to review your cool poem in "I Write 2019!" *Star*


*Smile* Wow! I enjoyed reading this unique poem and I have not really studied this form. It looks like a challenge to do as with most foreign language creations I guess. Trying to get the words to rhyme and keep meaning in the short lines would have me pondering alot. LOL

*Smile* I feel the energy and intent of the New Year holiday as you create a clear vision. The ritual of clearing the old, the symbolism of water and the care for less fortunate are the ideals and each verse has its theme.

*Star* The format is well composed according to the guidelines you kindly provided. The amazing rhyme scheme and short line flow are intact. The second verse I had to read twice to get the first line as a imperative. I guess the grammar through me. *Wink*

*Delight* What a wonderful model of this form and its intent of celebration. Thanks for sharing your expertise and vision. Write on master!

eyestar
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Review of Relationship  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile* Welcome Scorpion to WDC! Thanks for sharing your work with us.

*Quill* I liked the philosophical theme of the story and the philosophy theme could be one of your genres.

*Smile*The comparison of relationship to a growing child is original and interesting. I smiled at the idea of "annoying". I was not sure about the "toddler" not looking like much. *Think* The last part of the second line is well said.*Thumbsup*

*Quill* I feel you could expand on your metaphor with more detail though this does present food for thought in a brief way.

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. Keep on writing! *Star*

eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers
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for entry "Haiku 4 the Hunt
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*Treepine*Greetings! Thank you so much for entering the "Haiku Hunt Contest! *Delight* Here I am with my brief comments on your shining entry.

*Flowerr*I like the focus on the bird from the prompt and the idea of a banquet from his view. The connection of "banquet" to "lavish bounty" is clear.

*Quill* The haiku form uses the older 5-7-5 syllable count and phrases with a kigo seasonal indicator. The simple adjective makes the picture of the bird clear and specific. It feels like you are giving the reader an interpretation of how the bird is thinking of the bounty.

Little glitches for me:

I have been learning that haiku uses more specific observations rather than concept words. I think the second line and the last line seem to say a similar idea without giving the reader more specific image to see. Without the picture, we won't know if you see flowers or seeds or...*Wink*

I am finding if I am not confined by the strict syllables, it is a bit easier to be clear. A lovely interpretation and I would like to have had more space for me to enter in and choose for myself if something was delicious or lavish. *Smile*

*Flowerr*I like the personification of the bird and reading the poem aloud with its appealing sound scape from word choices. *Thumbsup*


Good luck in the contest! *Shamrock*

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Treepine*Greetings! Thank you so much for entering the "Haiku Hunt Contest! *Delight* Here I am with my brief comments on your shining entry.

*Flowery* I love the image of the cascade of yellow and the description of the fence in the prompt picture. So clear for me to visualize even if I did not see the picture. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* The haiku is well composed with two contrasting images and a turning point where I am directed from the flower scene to a bird. The minimal descriptors gives the bird its specifics.

Little glitches for me:
I wonder if you need the " gives nod" in the last line as you already have a verb in line two and I took it to mean the bird was giving approval, though it could be it was nodding. Just having the phrase about the bird would be enough to have us ponder about it's activity. I see you were using the 5-7-5 so had to make it work. I take it the word spring is a seasonal word and fit with the syllables as well.

*Flowerr* Overall, a fine haiku for the prompt picture. I could imagine it.

Good luck in the contest! *Shamrock*

eyestar

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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
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for entry "A Frenetic Life
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Owl4* Happy Spring Carly! I am happy to review your entry in "I Write 2019" in spite of the frenetic pace of life at the moment! *Laugh*

*Owl3* Your poem really gave the feeling of heaviness as the poet struggles to handle everything that comes up. Words like "try", "wearing" and the image of the battle vividly portray this notion.

*Owl* The key word "frenetic" describes life's pace in contrast with the slowness the poet feels she moves at! Nice comparison! *Thumbsup* It also is clear that the poet is predicting the future In the present moment in the last line..already lost. Whew! It adds to the weighted vibe as well. It is interesting that the poem pace is slow. *Wink*

*Owl*Thanks for sharing your vision and craft!

eyestar
new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers
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Review of The Fairy's Hovel  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Shamrock* Happy St. Patrick's Day WD Wilcox! *Delight*


*Fairy* I like fairies so I could not resist your interesting title. I never thought of a fairy living in a hovel!

*Fairy2*The setting is vividly detailed and the situation that unfolds is unique. I can imagine it like an interview and your dialogue is well done. The twist at the end made me laugh! OMG. What a crazy thought? Now I see why you used so many z's and the multifaceted eyes. *Think* Good clue that I was curious about. LOL The title makes sense too. *Thumbsup* I don't see where she actually made the reporter small though or when.

*Fairy3* This was fun bit of fairy flash! *Star*
eyestar
** Image ID #2184940 Unavailable **
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Review of Sons of Erin  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Gold*Top o' the Morning, Ken! I could not resist checking our your limericks today! *Fairy* I was seeking items for our Power raid and found this limerick. It made me laugh out loud.

*Fairy2*Wow! Impressive limerick and your last line was brilliant! *Salute**Laugh*, great play on words! The reference to so many Irish having to leave their land and appear in many places now is so clear. The celebratory vibe is lively and makes the last line more fun than sad. *Smile*

*Fairyr* The form is fairly well composed keeping in mind the comic element and the Irish theme suitable to this time of year and the form itself. I did notice that the line one and line 5 are 10 syllables instead of 8 like line 2. Usual formats keep lines 1,2, 5 equal counts. Adding a word to line 2 would keep the consistently.*Wink* "seems" is a rather indirect word.

In spite of that glitch, the limerick successfully fulfills its function, to make us laugh.
I was not thrown out of the piece that flowed well and was entertaining.*Smile* The twist was perfect and drew my admiration! *Salute*

*Shamrock*Thanks for sharing your fine crafting and vision. Good luck in the contest.

eyestar
Power signature for March raid
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Review of In Over My Head  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight* Hi Ken! What an interesting and entertaining flash fiction! I don't think I would like the idea as my mind is already a control freak! *Laugh*

*Computer*Your first line hooked me in as with the character we do not know where we are or what is happening. You portray his confusion and later his tension clearly as he realizes the full extent of the chip's power. Scarey.

*Calc* I enjoyed the humour in the name and at the end as he finds a cool positive possibility that could counter his loss of control.*Cool* Having the "smile" image show up again is effective. Nicely planned out.

*Calculator* The story flows well and the dialogue serves the story. I can almost make out chip's personality and you show that he is quick to pick up signals from man and net! It was useful to put the words in italics and all of the conversation would be going on in his head.

I had fun reading this bit of entertainment with its evocative title. *Laugh* Thanks for sharing your genius.

eyestar
A  birthday gift
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Review of The Hourglass  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight*Hi Ken! Here I am with a little review to celebrate you!


*Heart*Wow! I loved this tribute with its philosphic aura and heartfelt tone. The Villanelle form is perfect for the theme and the imagery and message is profound.

*Sun*Your poem is a model villanelle with its elements intact. Your rhymes are well chosen and give the sense of light and dark as you describe the journey of one place to another, life and death. The sand image is unique and so apt as a metaphor. *Thumbsup*

*Star*It was delicious to read aloud as the soundscape of alliteration, assonance and consonance is effective. (s, f, t all soft sounds along with a few g's.) Adding the importance of words and writing as a comfort and gift is also a fitting image to use for an author tribute. He was amazing. *Heart*

*Key*The key lines tell a lovely story on their own and sum up the journey in a stellar way. I enjoyed reading it several times and entering into the vision. Peace and acceptance resonates with the wisdom of living well with trust in the journey. *Angel*

*Hotair4* Thanks for sharing your vision and well conceived craft. I am sure Sticktalker smiles from afar. *Star*

eyestar
A  birthday gift
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp*Welcome to WDC Njoki kamau! *Delight* It is wonderful that you share your gift here!


*Heart*Wow! I felt the shock and sadness as the poet discovers the truth about her loved one. You really capture her dream thoughts and idealism of this love and how the dream was dashed. The line "then I met her" was a potent turning point in the poem. *Thumbsup* I also like when you say she is lovely. It told me that the poet does not blame the other girl.

*Smile* The free verse structure suits the emotional content. The imagery of fire is a good one. Punctuation served the read and I notice you need a period after "fire" and "smile" and "out". *Wink* The questions in the middle verse really added to the drama and I could imagine the reaction! *Thumbsup*

*Star*Thanks for sharing this heart felt expression. Have fun and write on at WDC!

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