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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC Vincent.
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Laugh* Oh my gosh! What an interesting title and the concept of a fashion virus is hilarious. This story in the form of a letter from a Lord of a township to the Kelpstone Minor people is so original and I had to keep reading.

*Penr* It does indeed read like a political response and the lord's voice is clear as he gives his advice as to what is to be done in a variety of cases that are being questions. I burst out laughing at the first line about the stovepipe pants and having troops sent out to assist and wiards researching the fashion plague that are luring the young folk. *Laugh* It is quite imaginative.

Your language suits the time and theme. I loved "rogue tailors" that "stitch these monstrosities" and the concern about "lips" from pork and the meanness of kicking Gnomes. *Smile* Your satire rocks!*Salute* "not dump garbage....in debate forum" *Laugh*

*Smile*The lord's name is unique and the way he speaks shows his character and concerns vividly. The letter was well structured and paragraphing made coherent sense.
I wondered if this comma after "state of unrest" should be a semi colon.

I was really entertained by your vision! Thanks for sharing this highly creative and well conceived letter! *Starstruck* Keep on writing and I hope you find a home here at WDC.


eyestar
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC Rhacun!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight*Congratulations on posting this first item. The title sets the theme of beginnings and it suits your mini bio theme. The genres you chose are applicable as well.

I could relate to your first forray into WDC. Ten years ago I joined as a free style writer as well and you will find many who write for relief, fun as well as more professional reasons...all are expressions and we value that in everyone. I liked your notion of writing being a "reliever". I am sure many of us can agree. *Smile*

Your piece considers two questions which are clearly outlined on the page. One about your rationale and how you found WDC. Thanks google! The other about how you began writing and a bit about your background. I so get how differently the two sides of the brain operate and real life can sometimes not allow the muse's work! *Wink*

Wow!You learned Japanese? "jap_eng'? Brilliant.

*Quill*A few little glitches:

Continue to use the past tense in the first lines of your second section:
eg:
In my childhood days, at elementary school, I loved..."
When I "entered" college..
when I asked... instead of "ask". *Wink*

*Star*I like how you end your piece and am curious as to where you will start. What do you like to write? And remember there are all kinds of online helps with language and grammar etc, so be brave and write on! *Smile* Have fun and hope you find a home here at WDC.
Also, reading and reviewing others is a great way to get back into the swing of the language. *Heart*

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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Prosperous snow!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Laugh* Your evocative title caught my interest as I was curious as to how good luck has a cost. It reminded me of some things are too good to be true..or watch what you ask for. LOL

*Confettir* I was not disappointed as I had a good laugh! I like how you use the "tradition" or black eyed peas as a good luck item. I wondered about adding an author's note about how that came about. I read you had to eat 365 peas for prosperity to come about. *Shock*

You capture Uncle Joe vividly in his belief and his new year activity in his man cave! The cost of his choice was hilarious and realistic! I like how you leave us in no doubt of our inference.

*Star* Your double etheree is a fine model of the form and it is amazing how you managed to get the story streamlined to fit the syllable counts. I appreciate the time it must have taken. *Salute* It has a coherent flow and was pleasant to read aloud with its instances of assonance and consonance. ( eg.hard c, long o, l, ea words) Well conceived and written. The imagery was vivid and I was drawn into the story. Hey you could add the recipe in a note..if Cora will share! lol

*Quill* One little typo in line two I think...should "New Year" be "New Year's"? *Wink*

*Star* I had fun entering into this vision and felt bad for Joe, although he should have known better. *Laugh* Thanks for sharing your craft and entertaining poem.


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Review of Screens  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Jeff!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Tv*Scanning for newer poetry and came across this diamante with its interesting topic. I thought of all kinds of screens, like on doors, or room dividers, or computer or tv! LOL So I was curious to see which screens you would choose to compare or contrast in this form. *Smile*

*Computer* The glyph on your page is evocative...talk about mind control, hypnosis and the matrix. Wow! Scary.

*Smile* I enjoyed reading your diamante aloud especially line three with its alliterative seamless flow that seems to mimic the mind's connecting with the screen! Brilliant! *Star* The descriptive words you chose were vivid and so effective in showing the effect of screens on people. Contrasting the more positive qualities with the negative ones in the second half of the poem was well conceived and gives us lots to ponder.*Thumbsup*

*Tv* You really fit the theme to the format, using the rules to advantage. The first half of the poem had a good vibe and as I read the atmosphere got heavier. The idea of "desolate" is a good choice as is "dangerous" ...one hears so many sad things with people addicted and buying into online elements.

*Smile* You made good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance that assisted the flow and pleasure of the read.

*pen0* The last word seems to used as a synonym for screen and makes sense when one considers how the screens are separating folks. True concept! It also fits in with the screens that actually are dividers. LOL

*Star* Another well crafted and evocative poem that bears a wisdom and truth for us to ponder. Thanks for sharing your vivid vision.

Write on and good luck in this year's I Write activity. er.. it is week 2 now, don't forget. *Binoculars* *sink*


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Review of Baseball  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC George. *Smile*
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


I found your poem on baseball on the Read A Newbie page. I used to love to play catch when I was a kid. I was a terrible batter as I usually had to pitch to smaller kids. LOL It is cool that it did become a national past time. It is interesting that you refer to the creator of baseball. I went to look up the name. Cool. I wonder about putting a little author note with a link at the bottom of the page for interested people. *Wink*

It was a pleasure to read your poem for its even flow and effective rhyme that tells the basics of a baseball game and its effect on the watchers! You make it sound fun and use vivid details. *Thumbsup* The poem is well structured in balanced lines that make it flow with an even beat.

You had some really fine enjambments too as "never roam" and "enthralls". *Smile* You really capture the energy of the crowd when the ball is flying. The punctuation assisted the read well too. I like how you make the title part of the poem as your first line refers to it without saying the name of the game.

I really felt your appreciation of the game in the tone. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck*

*Quill*Keep on writing and I hope you find a home here at WDC!

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Review of Oh Canada  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Jatog the Green!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Countryca* As a Canadian I could not resist the title "Oh Canada"! *Delight* I like how your focus is on the expanse of land especially its Arctic and wilderness places. Using Niagara Falls as a Canadian landmark is cool too seeing as the US also has part of them.

*Quill* A well constructed quatrain poem with pleasing rhythm and cool rhymes. I loved "few" and "caribou". I did notice in your last verse the rhyme scheme changed and in the first two verse the first two lines do not rhyme.*Confused* It is hard to rhyme with Canada. LOL I looked up fireworks and it is apparently 2 syllables...I still say as 3.

*Delight*You add some really neat information like the origin of Hudson bay and seaplane access. I did not know fireworks were taboo where you are from. I wanted to know more about crossing the border..as it seems you are adding experience to the poem.

I enjoyed some of the soundscape too with consonance like "stark cabin" and other "c" sounds and assonance as in the repeating "O" sound words. The punctuation assisted the read as well.

*Leafr* Thanks for sharing your vision and tribute of Canada. *Heart* I have not been to the Arctic yet but have friends who have taught up there with the Inuit people. And yep, they could only fly in and winters are long, dark and cold. *Snow4*

Keep on writing into the new year with flair! *Starstruck*

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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC Holly Wogan!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Turtle1* Dinosaurs are a favorite topic for kids so this poem will surely appeal to them! The title reveals the name of a restaurant! How orginal. *Thumbsup*

*Dragonflyb* I enjoyed reading your creation of this "dino diner" which is a place for all types of dinosaurs. Your first two lines set the invitation with a lovely flow and rhyme. It is like an advertisement for the place. Cool idea.
The poem has an effective rhyming structure that adds to the flow of the lines that have a variety of lengths. Punctuation assists the read and I like the exclamations, which indicate emotion or excitement. I liked the change around line about meat for Carnivores.

*Quill*I wondered why words like Eat, Lunch, Dinosaur and Then (in line 4} are capitalized. *Think* I figured you wanted to emphasize the types of Dinosaurs..with capitals like "Herbavores".

*Quill* I wanted to put a period after "some more" as the first read through I tried to connect it to the next line when the line refers back to line 3. A pause there would really be helpful.

*Quill* In terms of flow, I wanted to drop the word "can" after Omnivores as it slows down the read. Yet I do see you are advertising that they can eat what they like at the restaurant. *Wink* I wondered about putting "can" after "fish" to make the line a bit longer. It feels short.

*Delight*I love the last line that perhaps you could make food for dinos in the audience! It sums up the piece effectively. I did wonder why you would have to cook it. LOL

*Turtle1* Your poem is fun with a quick pace and kids can learn a lot of facts about dinosaurs as you were clever to get the types of eaters into the poem: carnivores, omnivores etc! The chosen vocabulary is kid friendly, eg. green stuff! *Delight*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your appreciation for dinosaur theme, entertaining kids and me with this unique expression. A thought came to me now. I can imagine a diner for dinosaurs and imagined the mayhem as maybe they will all be eating each other as the herbavores eat greens. LOL

Keep on writing and all the best in the New year! *Wand* I hope you find a home here at WDC.

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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC NorahMae! I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!*Glass**Tiara*


*Cool* I was drawn to the intriguing title as it suggested to me that one is trying to meditate or something but loses track. Your poem presents a more pressing scenario: focus while trying to study or learn. *Smile* I get it!

The first lines were appealing for its image of reading upside down and I laughed that it was poetry the poet was trying to understand. I wonder if that pose helps. LOL The image and voice is so vivid.

Your free flow was fun to read and gives the impression of a mind that wanders. The question near the end reminds me of a distraction. Bolding the word focus emphasises the theme and also may be the mind trying to get through. *Smile* The image of the worn pages is evocative too. *Smile*

I like the short lines that sound like one is talking to oneself. I was wondering if the person is hyper as the words "stay calm" are used. I think the word "Take" in "take effort" needs to be "takes".

The theme is relevant and I am sure many can relate to the situation, especially if bored, tired or quick minded. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing your musings in such an appealing way. *Starstruck*

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Review of Through the Mist  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Tinker!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight* Wow! The atmosphere and imagery of this expression is appealing and I was hooked in by the first line with the personification of "dawn" yawning! Brilliant.*Sun* Your repeated use of this "au" sound in a few other places is effective too. The poem continues to lure me into the vision with vivid images of the tree in foggy outline and the cocoon image. I can so relate to wanting to stay abed in such damp weather even if the scenery is a delight. *Salute*

I like how we begin outside in the cool damp beauty of nature where even the tree does not show its potency and then leads us inside to the poet mimicking the feel of that chill in the house and like the tree not pop out fully! The descriptive language is well chosen. " a screech too shrill"
is ouchy!! *Thumbsup* I like the link between the cobweb of fog and the cocoon! Cool connection and potent image.

The contrast of the cool damp morning and the warmth of bed and the dream of summer is clear and the reader wants to join you in the latter dream! *Laugh*

The free verse is a good choice though I thought there was a small pattern with verse one and three being 4 lines and the other two being 5..but the last has 6...so I was mistaken. LOL I might have shortened line two verse two to accent the "tree's Green" and make the rest into another line. It would look more neat on the page and give a sixth line. *Think* It works regardless, and I was not thrown out of the reverie.

It was pleasant to read aloud and without rhyme, the flow was coherent and the use of poetic conventions gave the piece a lovely soundscape to read aloud. Your images appealed to the visual and kinesthetic senses.*Star* I could feel the clammy cold and downy quilt. *Heart*

Thanks for sharing your clear vision of this experience in such an appealing way. Keep on writing as your muse leads on into the new Year! *Starstruck*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC Greg!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Bird* What a lovely elegant expression about these gulls and your vision of how they affect you. I enjoyed reading it aloud and pondering. I used to like watching gulls when I lived near water!

*Bird*I was hooked by your alliterative and vivid image in the first line and the cool notion of "sip the sunshine". Brilliant!

*Bird*I do not know if you had a specific form in mind but you did a fabulous job with repeating lines in a pattern in the poem. The verses are balanced and coherent in flow and story line. The rhythm and rhyme are effective and true as well. Well chosen words create a pleasing soundscape and appealing inspirational picture that is a tribute to nature and these birds. *Salute*

*Bird* I did at first want to read "aligned" for the word "align" as it struck me as off, but I see it rhymes with "sunshine" and I could imagine the word "they" before it. LOL so all is well. I also pondered at the need for a comma where you have it after "weak". It is likely a matter of opinion. *Wink*

Your poem has a relaxing effect as I can imagine flying with gulls and enjoying the landscape. It is quite inspiring too. Thanks for sharing your gift and craft! *Starstruck* Keep on writing.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Valentine Daze  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Huntersmoon!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*



*Laugh* I loved the play on the word "daze" in the title and it suggests a lover's idealism on Valentine's Day so it is a cool surprise to see that it is Cupid who is also a little "dizzy". Brilliant image!

*Heart*Your limerick was fun to read with vivid images. I like how the last lines leaves it to our imagination as to what goes on in the bedrooms. The alliteration adds to the flow as well.

{e:smile] You composed your poem using the correct format and it has a comical tone and theme.
I liked the first line beginning with "Tis the season" as it puts Valentine's on par with Christmas. The phrase generally refers to that holiday. I liked the repeated long "o" sound and and it was a trick saying "forlorn lovers" yet it flows well. It is funny that the rooms get busy...rather than the people. {e:laugh}

*Star*This is a grand way to celebrate the day and sharing your awesome sense of humour! It is a gift. Thanks for all you contribute to WDC! All the best in the new year! *Wand*

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Review of Dear Me - 2020  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Confettir* Happy New Year Mastiff! I am happy to review your item in the 'I Write in 2019! Welcome back! *Delight* Yay you for entering the site contest too!

Wow! I really felt the frustration and panic about job hunting in your tone and like how you give yourself positive images to boost yourself. I can relate to the judgemental comment on how age matters. *Facepalm* Your last line says it all. Perspective can be a real lifesaver.

The letter shows your vulnerability and feelings about the change of role. It fits with the notion of how we need to change how we value ourselves for more than the paycheck. And You are valued just for being! *Heart*

I enjoyed reading the language and flow of the work. I did wonder about the experience in the first paragraph. Perhaps more detail about the job and your role in it would clarify.
Paragraphing made sense and I burst out laughing at the PS in the letter. Laughing can always lighten the stress of it all. Good job!

I am glad you will keep writing...might be amazing what inspirations come when you release all the doubt and go musing. *Wink* Good luck with job hunting and all the best in the new year. *Wand*

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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile* Happy New Year isokarifrancis! I am here with a review to celebrate you!*Delight*

I like to read philosophical and inspirational pieces so here I am. I think You could add the genre "philosophy" to the item for more range. *Wink*

Your bit of wisdom was original and made me smile. I get that one should not let the ego get the better of us, and let folks laugh at folly. Never forget to see Divine help.

The one line quote is well written and coherent with a vivid image. I wondered about the words "go to mirth". I felt there was something off, not sure. Maybe something like "others express mirth" or "shake with mirth". I don't know how one would go TO mirth. *Think*

Thanks for sharing your unique wisdom at WDC! *Star* Write on into the New Year!

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Review of History  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Jacky!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight* Wow! I really liked the premise of this sci-fi short story with the evolutionary path the people saw for themselves. It figures that there would be conflict as most civilisations on verge of new always meet this termoil. I was happy that, at least the children of that last generation survived. It was brilliant how you bring the past back at the end of the tale. It is cool to think memory of ancient times might eventually surface. It reminds me of how our unconscious, collective past is hiding in our own memory mind. *Smile*

*Earth*The story seems to tell the details rather than show and yet it suits the title of a history lesson. I liked the name Xenox. The most dramatic part of the story was the last paragraph. It was lively in active description and personal reaction. I was thinking what a great beginning for a story..that goes back in flashbacks. mmm. I want to know more.

*Quill*I am not sure what the exact conflict was about. Perhaps more details about the plans would add interest and fill in the gaps.

I feel this premise could be expanding into a whole story! *Smile* Thanks for sharing your unique vision and craft! *Star* Keep on writing with flair into the new year!

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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Rhychus!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Babygirl* I was intrigued by the title and sweet picture on the item. The name of the doll type is new to me. *Wink* The form of sonnet is also unfamiliar so thanks for the reader notes. *thumbsuup*

*Tiara*I enjoyed reading the flow of the weave with its gentle tone and your personification of the doll is so effective. She seems to have a real feel to her. The bit of alliteration, some inner rhyme (grace, face, low, glow) and assonance create a pleasing effect when I read aloud. The first two verses I especially liked for their sing song lyrical flow. *thumbusup*

*Quill*I wondered if a period would be better after the word "stood" as it does complete a sentence and the next one is also a complete thought. The same with "tears" in verse 3. though I realize punctuation in poetry can be choice depending on the flow the author intends. *Wink*

The word "challenging" seems unpoetic. LOL I loved the flow "wonderous worldly" and he next line. "peak to foam" is so unique a description. *Star* Keeping the "things" general allows us to add what we think she might have seen.

*Smile*Your model of the form is wonderful, following the stanza and rhyme scheme well. Amazing how you got that inner rhyme to work so effectively! I love the summative couplet that evoked a sense of peace and home.

*Heart*I loved the notion of the doll going on a journey as I think many young folks have aspirations to travel. It is a bit of truth as well that coming home can be soothing and not as bad as one thought. *Smile*

*Starstruck* I was charmed by this well conceived sonnet and admire how you got all the ideas into the form. I find them challenging to do. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your gift and vision of this delightful doll! I had fun!

Write on into the journey of the new year! *Star**Quill*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Creature  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC GU35T!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Confettir* The title is intriguing and made me curious as to whether the creature will be a good one or dark! *Smile* Your opening line with its familiar simile urged me to read on to find out who He was! *Thumbsup* I also wondered why no on thought well of him...maybe because he was blind? Another mystery you set at the end of the first paragraph as well. I can't wait to see the "rare"gift. *Smile*

*Smile* Your descriptions are vivid and I could see him sitting in the lovely setting. I like how you slowly bring the creature to reality with clues. I would drop the word "seemed" as the saliva spilled or it did not! LOL

You need a comma at "which he in turn reached" >> which he, in turn, reached..

It was effective the way you describe the blind boy's response to the creature.... using vivid images showing his hand, and senses recognizing the creature. You show understanding of the creature's behaviour. For example, when the creature prepares to lie down. *Wink*

*Quill* I wondered about "in such a lonely earth;" Should it be "on..earth" or simply in...:lonely place". Using the word earth made me think like he is not from here. *Smile* I liked the reference to the "faint star". And did the creature have "limited vision and smell" as well? (the word "him" is right before this description.

The last line seems to change voice. It seemed the boy was telling and then you went to an observant voice ..."you" would see.

*Star* Aside from my few inquiries, I was charmed by this short story and the way you weave the vision. It unfolds in a coherent manner and I see where it could be continued so as to answer the clues you reveal in the beginning. Why he is not liked and what his gift is, though I am guessing it has something to do with his relationship with the creature. *Delight*

I really enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing your gift and vision. Keep on writing and I hope you find a home at WDC. *Starstruck*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC, MJ Horsten! I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!*Glass**Tiara*


*Lightning2* Wow! I like the mythological theme of you villanelle and it evokes a mighty whack in expressing pain of leaving someone. It is a unique choice of theme using Colossus and I felt the angry undercurrents. Well done! *Thumbsup*

*Lightning2* The villanelle form is solid and your choice of key lines is effective for the main message especially the metaphor of "killing gods with arrows in my heart". The tone of voice is potent and consistent throughout the piece. "Go murder love" is strong too! The imagery of killing music, art, wisdom suggests destroying the ideals and joys.

It was pleasant to read your weave aloud thanks to an effective soundscape of words. I noticed there were glitches from the traditional rhyme scheme of a villanelle. I was wondering about the middle line rhymes in verses 4-5-6 as they do not rhyme with the original "blood, mud, flood. Also in verse one, should lines 1 and 3 not rhyme? aba aba aba aba aba abaa etc?
It still has a lovely flow. I know how hard it is to get our magic into form so good for you! *Salute*

*Lightning2* The villanelle is an apt choice for the emotional expression for its emphatic calling forth of colossus like rallying a battle cry! Your myth references are effective as well.

*Starstruck* In spite of not following exact villanelle rhyme, your creation is amazing and powerful in it evocation and conception! It engaged me right from the start. I loved it! *Bigsmile* The expression is key! (unless it is a contest for villanelle..LOL}

Here is the format I know: http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/villanel...

Thanks for sharing your craft and potent voice! Write on into the new year! *Wand* I hope you find a home here at WDC. *Quill*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Fyn_Elf! I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!*Glass**Tiara*


*Heart* I love Julie Andrews so I could not resist checking out your poem! *Delight* The tone as you speak is so clear that you regret not meeting the Queen! LOL I smiled at the idea that "I didn't know!" A child could not. And those actors did make the story seem real! That is what actors do. I like the idea that the poet was the one that King Arthur chose to keep telling the tale...I could see that show capturing the imagination. I saw the movie of it with Julie and R. Harris! This brings back memories. I love to sing and dream.

*Sun*The free style is perfect choice for the emotional content for the personal letter speech. It is cool how you incorporate her other movies and shows like Ed Sullivan into the poem as you move through time. Tying in your own talent as teller of tales is genius too. It is like magic. "Flaming Flapdoodles?"*Shock* I will have to look that up!

I see this is in the autobiography and experience genre so... this almost meet is for real? *Shock2* WOW!

This was fun to read and imagine! *Star* Keep on writing on into the New Year! All the best. *Wand*

eyestar

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Review of Sails Conference  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Jeff!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Boat* *Laugh* How brilliant a play on words that is reflected in your title as well! It got my attention.

*Boat2*You did well with the Ottava Rima form though I noticed not all lines were even in syllables, some 10, some 11. line 5 only had 9 which threw off the flow a bit. The imperfection did not detract me enjoying the comical situation. Reading " a wholly different" was a bit unwieldy to me.I find form poems to be a challenge myself especially when you have to fit in the ideas you want. You kept me entertained and I had to laugh.

*Boat* I liked the simple language and the narrative voice. the last line words "water and boats" suggested to me that the salesman knew nothing about the topic.*Laugh*

Thanks for your example of this form. I am inspired to try one. I think 11 syllables would be hard to be consistent with. LOL Keep On writing on into the New year! All the best *Wand*!



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC trisho! I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!*Glass**Tiara*


*Heart* Wow! I was really moved by the authenticity and vulnerability of the voice in this letter. The poet really shows love for the inner child and delineates the experiences that caused such suffering and lack of esteem in a detailed way. It is effective how you speak directly to her (yourself) and it felt like the grown you will be her hero, parent, partner and friend now so that together you can build a fabulous life. *Thumbsup*

*Heart*The language is well chosen for the message and it is powerful how you engage her and let her know she has gifts. Very uplifting.

*Heart* The line where you say "I see you sitting in a corner" is dramatic and I can relate to that as when I was working with my inner child years ago..that is the image I had of her inside me. Wow! I would put a comma at the end of the line so it will connect with the next phrase. It is part of that paragraph and yet it is so effective in the line by itself. A potent image that pops.

*Heart*I noticed a glitch here where you changed voice: "around her like armor", I don't think you need the word "her" but rather "you". *Wink* "on her lips" and "isolate herself" also felt off if you are talking to "You". {your lips, yourself} ? *Confused*

*Heart*In the last paragraph, " leave the word "Of" out of "Because of" It did not make sense. And I see why you might want a capital letter on "Won't" though it is in the middle of a sentence. To emphasize it, you could use italics as in
"won't {i}won't{/i}. *Smile* Just an idea.

I think you need periods after "hurting yourself" and even an exclamation in your last line, if not a period. *Wink*

*Starstruck* Your expression is so amazing with great clarity and potency of voice as you encourage yourself to greatness. There is hope and a sense of determination at the end. It speaks true...you got this!!

*Heart*Gratitude for sharing so willingly, not only for yourself, but to enlighten others, who may need to hear the message and feel that they are not alone in their pain and that as children, they were at the mercy of the Narcissist.

Keep on writing to discover more of the unique star you are and were born to be. *Starstruck*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Sorrow  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC Alta Mabin. *Star* I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight*Wow! This poem touched my heart! I found the title on the Read a Newbie page and was intrigued by the tag line with "mirco poem". *Smile*

Though you do not say what the loss is, grief is something we can all relate with so it is a relevant theme and you allow us to imagine our own experience in keeping it less specific. *Thumbsup*

*Salute*I think it is a unique expression as it takes us beyond the sorrow. Brilliant! The personification of sorrow finding memory is original idea. I loved it.

*Heart*The short free verse is evocative and the last line was like an Ah ah realization. You nailed the concept of how memory can bring joy out of sorrow in a precise manner.

*Smile*I liked the short abrupt lines and the flowing words like "sorrow" and "memory'" that add a softer sound as I read aloud. The punctuation assisted the read and the dots at the end remind me of an echo, as if the poet is in a reveries that leads to more memories.*Thumbsup*

*Quill*I think you could add the genre categories: Emotional, Experience, even Inspirational, rather than Other, to attract a bigger audience.*Wink*

*Angel*Thanks for sharing this personal and inspiring vision! It gives hope to others who may not yet be able to deal with loss. I sense that the person is still there, if we hold in memory and heart. *Heart*

*Quill*Keep on writing. I hope you find a home here at WDC.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year celticsea!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Bell*I love to sing so was thrilled to find your parody of Jingle Bells! It has a very
original theme, unexpected. *Laugh* It was fun to sing along and, in fact, you did a great job with the beat. I could sing it to the original tune easily! *Salute*

*Bell*The title gives a clue to the chorus line and suggested a humourous lyric. The situation of single mom and the effect of alcoholism is a relevant theme. The high spirited tone suggests the mom has done some healing and is following advice of a "shrink".

*Bell*I smiled at the image in the first verse as she shops for nothing until the surprising line on what she is looking for. Brilliant! The chorus is cheery and direct in its intent. I like the honest way she describes herself--taking the middle road. I really liked the inner rhyme line "a lad to be a dad". *Smile*

*Bell*The beat, rhyme and pace mimic jingle bells song effectively. You made good use of repeated letter sounds so the lines flow with ease. I wondered about adding the word "a" to the last line in the verse 2: eg. "a man who doesn't drink" as it seems strange to just say "man".

*Starstruck*Thanks for the entertaining rendition of this song. I had fun singing it. *Star* Keep on musing on into the New Year. *Smile*


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Review of Rainbow Carnage  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Jeff!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Unicorn* Wow! I liked your vision based on this glyph. She does look sweet and leave it to you to see the cover up! I do wonder what she did to the unicorn. The last line allows me to come up with my own conclusion and I suppose each reader's vision will depend on how dark their imaginative mind is. LOL

*Unicorn*The description of the goddess is detailed and you did a fabulous job of contrasting the cute with the violent nature. The image of "rainbow carnage" is evocative and I imagine she tricks innocent ones to get to their magic place over the rainbow. Poor little ponies.

*Star*The etheree is well composed and I appreciate the effort to get a coherent message to fit the form and do the glyph justice. Images like the rainbow one and "goddess of violence" speaks volumes and mayhem and havoc add weight to the destructive force. You say a lot with few words.

*Unicorn* The first four lines set up and drew me into the polarity of this cutie! The theme continued in the rest of the poem. I enjoyed reading it aloud as you create a pleasing soundscape with instances of consonance and assonance. I liked "loyally" and "violence", "sacrifice, exact" "wreaks, havoc" etc. Lovely flows along with the "S" sounds.*Thumbsup* Hard c sounds mimic the darker side of this cutie. LOL

*Dragon*The voice is factual and yet at the end, I felt the poet felt it was too bad. I felt sad for the unicorn too.

*Dragonflyb*Some of the lines are not full sentences and did not pull me out of the flow. However, I did feel that perhaps the word "A charming" might be changed to "this charming" and put a comma at the end of the line before..just to connect the two ideas.*Think* It is not just A ..cutie but This one!

*Starstruck*I had fun entering into this creative vision and marvelled at your imaginative well conceived response to this happy glyph in such a specific form! Well done!
Keep on musing into the New Year! All the best. *Wand*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Ding Dong Bell  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year XIEA!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Smile*I could not resist this title as it has a familiar ring to it *Laugh* and your tag line was fun! Having the poem in the Nonsense and Poetry genres is a good choice. You could add Emotional as I could feel the fire behind the words! *Thumbsup*

*Cookie* You mention it has no format so it could be classed a free style expression and sometimes the mind needs to let it all out and... a poem appears. Great way to clear the head. *Laugh*

*Cool* The first line is a great hook, suggesting a nursery rhyme and then with line too, we see it will be a tirade of heart-felt thoughts. I can relate to the angry voice of the poet as realization of comparison and judgements hits him. I love the authentic voice sharing its point of view on school and performance. It is tough to feel compared to a sibling or other, seemingly, smarter kid!

*Tophat*The questions are heart felt and realistic. The plea of "can it be for me?" is such a relevant and universal desire! We have all felt the sting of comparison and feeling unheard, especially by well meaning parents. *Wink* This piece really shows inner frustration especially with the potent rationale: "he can't do well in something he hates"!. Wow! *Thumbsup*

*Doorb*The last verse involves the reader and the voice seems to come to terms with having aired the grievances and hopes for understanding and yet, will allow judgement too. It feels like the judgement of audience is not as bad as what the poet has gone through earlier. Cool! Like go ahead but I am out of here! *Smirk*

*Quill*A few punctuation glitches for me. I think a period after the second line would give us stronger pause. I might drop the question mark after "alive" in verse 2. A period after "well" in the last verse and I think you do not need the word "then" before "God bless".

*Star* Your flow of consciousness poem had a potent vibration and clear message. I like the bit of rhyme in the last line as it sped up the pace as if you were running on! *Smile* Good job!
Thanks for sharing so authentically! *Starstruck* Keep on writing your way to freedom and share you creativity on into the new year.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Norman!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Laugh* Oh Wow! I was totally entertained by your humourous Christmas poem. You make your annoyance really clear by citing stressful things like the repetitive carols and yep those ads are sooooo boring! LOL I can relate to trying to buy a gift for a loved one, whom you suggest may be fussy and thinks you are "cold" because of your attitude. It would hurt to be called Scrooge. She must be stressed too. *Wink* *Smile* I never knew what to get my mom, not that she really wanted anything. I just like to please her and she did have certain tastes. LOL

*Rolling*I burst out laughing at the snowboots and "take a hike"! And that her doing that would be your gift. Brilliant and a twist!

*Music2* I enjoyed reading the poem with its unique structure. The verses are balanced with lines of the same syllable count with the short middle line. This was effective for drama and added to the emotional expression. I noticed the lines have the same syllable count Rhyme scheme assisted the flow and coherence and made it fun to read. Minimal punctuation was used well and the quotation marks clarified the wife's words from the poet.

*Quill* The only word that stuck out of place for me was the repeating of "this" in verse in verse two. I wanted to read "It's getting really old" as saying "this" twice in a row seemed awkward. *Wink*

*Smirk* I am reminded of The Grinch's tone and the voice here was strong and consistent. I could almost hear it!

*Smile* I liked connections you make as you repeat: "it's old" with "I'm..Old" in the following verse and tieing in "cold" in the next verse too. Cool trick!

*Bigsmile* The last line rocked and completed the Christmas whining perfectly! "Good will to me!"

*Starstruck* Your expression was so well conceived and comical. It was easy to enter right into the poet's mind and feeling as he works out his woes at this time of year. It was evocative and kept me reading to find out more. It is like your own Christmas song! *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing your gift and vision. I had fun! Keep on writing as the unique star you are on into the New Year! *Quill**Wand**Star*



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