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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Delight* Welcome to WDC eshaw08! *Smile*
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Burstr*Yay on posting your first items at WDC! I liked the title as it made me curious as to what the fortune will be. That is unexpected makes it even more interesting as one can imagine all kinds of ways it would happen. *Smile*

*Star* I really felt the boredom Lindsey was experiencing and it seems realistic for a young girl in the country. My sister always wanted to move to where there was more going on! LOL I was sad the father was so disappointed. It was only a feeling and a question, an opinion. *Sad* So I am sure Lindsey felt bad then.

I wondered why you used capital letters on "WHOLE". To emphasize the idea you could use whole in italics. {i}whole{/i}.

*Smile*You have a really good beginning and I want to hear more what will happen. I see you have the genre fantasy so will Lindsey have something magical happen where she lives as the family will not move.

*Burstg* I wonder what the mother said. Was she more understanding or comforting. It sounds like Dad really is proud of being on the farm and it taking it wrong, as if thinking Lindsey didn't like it. mm. It is so relevant as sometimes communication in a family gets mixed up when feelings are involved. Good insight! *Thumbsup*

*Quill*Some ideas to consider to bump up the words on the page.

The second use of the name "Lindsey" could be replaced with "She". In fact, You might not even need to say that first line as we know it is a story. eg. something like: "Ten year old Lindsey lived....Gerogia with her...." *Wink*

*Quill* Just a little note, it is not necessary to keep repeating the name when "she" will suffice. The reader knows it is about Lindsey. *Smile*

Maybe put capital letters on the name of the farm : "High Falls" as it is like a proper noun.

*Quill* Some typos:
"Loved where she live".>>>> "lived"
"family had loved on">>> lived
"beaches ehe">> because he
"her fathers">>drop the "s"

*Thumbsup* You made good use of quotation marks, thank you. Next step: Put each speaker's speech on a separate line. *Wink* Just so it is easy to see who is speaking.
eg. She said, "Mom, dad...."
Her father answered, "Why? .....thing?"

*Star*I liked the glimpse into this girl's mind. It sounds like she is ready for adventure and new things and may have to create some fun. *Smile*

I hope these little ideas help you along. Keep on writing.

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Review of Randomly Writing  
for entry "Shark Fin Soup
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Jody!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Fishb* Haha! I could not resist this title as I am doing recipes for the POND dinner! *Laugh* I have heard folks eat shark fin soup but I have never had it. One friend told me shark is tough.

*Fisho* Congratulations on your win with this entry. How cool to create a complete story in so few characters and you managed to have a surprising twist that made me laugh and yet it is not very funny in itself. It was brilliant. *Salute*

*Fishp* The one line story was a delight to read as the words flowed almost like poetry.
I liked the image and flow of "round and....brine". It made me think of sharks going in circles in the sea. The repeated "s" sound words added to the flow as well, even though you used the word "stirring" twice in short line. It really works.

*Fishg* Everything is in movement and then with the "white meat phrase" it slows down, like a breath.

*Fishb* Once I read the whole story, the image changes and the significance of going around and the white meat becomes clear. Genius! *Salute* It is interesting that the voice can still speak at the end. LOL

*Starstruck* Brilliant construction and imagery play! Thanks for sharing your gift and imagination. Write on in 2020! *Tiara*


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Review of NY City Lights  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Welcome to WDC Sophia Behalova!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight*Wow! I enjoyed this unique little free style poem. The short lines are concise and centering makes it visually pleasing. Reminds me of a tall building in a city. Maybe from the top you can see stars.

*Burstr* I liked the philosophical element in your expression as well as in the concepts of your second verse and the scientific idea about synergy. I do sound healing with voice and it does lead to awareness and oneness. Cool!*Cool*

*Bursty* I wondered if in the third verse "stare" is supposed to be "star" or are we gazing. *Wink* I smiled at "infinite glare"! Potent image.

*Burstg* I was a bit confused by the clear tear and "what's about".*Confused* The last line threw me off a bit. Guess it is the grammar of "who love I". *Wink*

*Burstb* Adding rhyme and words with repeated sounds like "E" made it fun to read and added to the flow. I don;t think we generally use the & sign for "and" in writing and yet its use here did not throw me out of the read or distract me. *Smile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing this fascinating creation and posting your gift here at WDC. I enjoyed pondering on it. I hope you will find a home here as you write on.


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279
Review of A Single Tear  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Jim!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*



*Heartbroken* Oh my gosh! This poem is so sad and I could really feel the aura of loss, hopelessness and isolation. Even that she lives in a basement adds to that feeling. The simple title drew me in and your use of it twice in the poem is potent.

*Heart* You showed the broken bubble of a fairy tale dream and illustrated vividly this girl experiencing betrayal and loss in two instances. You create a defined down hill spiral. I like how you show her as strong and hiding until it does not work anymore.

*Bursty* The quatrain verses were balanced with consistent rhyme and effective use of alliterative words and assonance and consonance. I liked "innards, intense inner". It was pleasing to read aloud in spite of the depressing aura of this girl's life.

*Burstr* It is cool how at the end her feeling so weak as she could not do her plan, reflects back to how strong she was at the beginning. Her true nature as a survivor. *Thumbsup*


*Quill*I wonder if a "period" would serve better in lines where the next line is a complete thought..eg. after "day' in "one day, He hugged..." I noticed of few of these. You used lots of commas.

*Quill* I think you can keep this active instead of passive . "was whispered in the air," could be "she whispered to the air" *Wink*

*Quill*This line flows ok though a little cumbersome. I wonder if you need to say "she felt" as we know it is about her and in her mind. "There wasn’t another path she felt could be crossed." It would also shorten the line to fit a bit better with the rhythm. I notice there is no set syllable count though. *Smile* I was involved in the story line and only noticed when counting.

*Quill*Another line that felt too long a cumbersome: "She awoke to find it cold in the morning’s sun rays." We can infer that it is morning or that the rays mean the sun so I think leaving out the word "sun". or... "daylight's rays". mm. We know she was waking up. *Think* Have a ponder.

*Quill* I thought the same thing with "He hugged and kissed her, said “I love you anyway.”
I wanted to shorten it up for better flow. Use either "hugged" or "kissed".
eg. He hugged her saying "I love you anyway." One can't kiss and talk at the same time anyway. *Laugh*

*Star* Your poem is so well conceived and evocative, touching on a relevant theme in our world with the message that fairy tales are not real. Idealism hurts. I admire how you can create long story poems and the emotional impact was so powerful as we follow her sad tale in a coherent composition. *Starstruck* I hope she will find her way to a happier place and let the ocean take away her woes. Great place to meditate and let go. But... we don't know the rest of the story, only glad she did not fulfil her plan.

Thanks for sharing your gift and vision. Keep on writing on with gusto in the new year. *Quill*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy 2020 Rhyssa!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Heartp*Wow!What an amazing and tribute to your grandmother where you share your experience with her as she slowly slips away. I infer that she had alzheimers, which is, indeed, heartbreaking to deal with. *Sad*

*Heartg* You were able to capture so vividly how you felt and what you do to cope and still consider her pride and confusion. I like the way you say You had to take the grown up role and will guard the memories on her behalf and yours. My grandmother had it at the end, but she did not live near us so we we never really had the total experience of the loss. It was bad enough for my uncle, with whom she lived. I can't imagine how a grandchild would feel watching it happen. You express this so clearly as well in the first line of the last verse.

*Heartt* The line about confusion using the word "lurks" is vivid as it makes confusion feel like an enemy and "guard the shell" is brilliant.

*Heartb* The Pantoum is an excellent choice for this emotionally charged theme. The repeating of key lines is emphatic and keeps the reader invested in the cyclical effect of the experience. Every time you say your name and meet your grandma, the process begins anew each time, the game of finding each other.The punctuation assisted the read, allowing for dramatic pause.

*Star* It is well conceived and composed poem with steady rhyme and flow that made it a joy to read aloud. The poem has a loving tone with an underlying grief. "The tears I must disguise" is telling. *Thumbsup*

*Heartp*Thank you for sharing heartfelt tribute to your grandma with such potency. I was impressed with the stellar composition and can appreciate how difficult it may have been to get it right as you were still feeling the effects of the situation. Grandma would be proud of your gift. *Starstruck*

Keep on writing from your heart on into the new year. *Quill*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Belly Dancer  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Delight* Hey Joy!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Music1* I was drawn to this piece as the topic in the title was appealing. I had a friend who learned belly dancing! I am not familiar with the form of poem in your tag line so I thought it would be fun to check it out. Thanks for the author notes on the Paradelle. *Smile*

*Delight* This is really different style and it really fits well with the image and dance of the belly dancer. The repetition of key lines is so effective like a musical beat or cycle. *Thumbsup*

*Salute* The imagery is so potent and your words describe vividly the actions of the dancer and veils. Wow! "Fallen angel ablaze in the wind" and "To Hades in a serpentine glide" are so evocative. I loved reading the flowing lines out loud and your word choices are elegant. The soundscape of the lines is effective as you have made solid use of assonance, alliteration and consonance. I am impressed with your wizardry.

*Heart* I can imagine how much effort this form took to get a coherent logic where the lines can make sense in different order especially that last verse! *Shock* Brilliant creation. I just realized you had to use all the words from the other verses. Whew! *Tiara*

I only got stuck on the last line in verse 3 with the word "which". I had to read again to get the sense. It does make sense, just took me a bit as it is an odd thing to say. LOL

*Starstruck* This magic is quite mesmerizing and mimics the flow of the dancer and the language and imagery of fallen angel, Hades and the snake is evocative. I loved this piece.

Thanks for sharing your amazing image and word craft. *Heart* Keep following your muse as you write on.


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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Jace! *Balloonp*
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Soccer* Your appealing title drew me in with its humourous play on the word foot! The language of "a-foot" makes me see soccer in a higher light! LOL I have not written a Kyrielle yet so thanks for the author's notes.

*Soccer* I enjoyed reading the Kyrielle with its unique phrasing in quatrain verses. I think the refrain chosen is effective and you have captured the children's love of the game vividly. Yep, even rain does not bother them. *Thumbsup* I totally laughed at line 1 in the last verse. That is one big wind...and I assume the nets were portable. If not that is One big wind and good exaggeration to make a point. *Wink* I also see that kids are the gale force wind that knock it down. Little kids playing especially tend to be in a bunch running all over! *Laugh*

*Soccer* Including parental pride and excitement added to the truth of the piece. I ahve seen parents, especially with little ones cheering them on and sometimes with older kids, parents getting a little hype and pushy about winning, which takes the fun out for some.

*Laugh*I laughed at the line about "tide". Brilliant notion to show how dirty these kids get without saying so.

*Soccer*The form is well composed according to the rules you mention.The flow and tight weave of the lines is wonderful to read aloud. The first verse set a dramatic setting and the metaphor of the "hurricane" of kids is fun. The addition of french words and the turn o phrases like "it matters not", again gives the poem a higher tone of a tribute. I loved it.

*Soccer* I thought the rhyming words you chose were interesting and suited the theme. "air" and "laissez-faire" is unique and I like the word "refrain" in the short simple phrase. It is a challenge to get the right words to rhyme. Well done!

*Star* I had fun entering this vision. It has a happy tone and strong vitality that mimics the soccer game. Great choice of theme for the form. Thanks for sharing your gift!

Have a fabulous 2020 as you write and play on! *Soccer**Quill*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Ghost Dog  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Huntersmoon!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass*{e:tiara


*Heart* I couldn't resist this cool title about a Ghost dog! When my cat first passed on, I swear I felt him around at times. Freaky when you feel something walking on your bed at night and...mm! Yep, I think there are connections beyond. *Heart* Love never dies.

*Ghost* Your poem is a delight to read with its loving tone, almost like a tribute to this beloved pet. I was charmed by its name and how he got it! Sweet. I enjoyed the ghostly events that are attributed to this dog and the last verse is a lovely notion. I can so imagine the dog being impatient as they always are ready for adventure and attention...NOW! *Laugh*

*Dog1* The quatrain verses are balanced and flow with ease, using abab rhyme consistently. I tried to discover a defined syllable count to lines like 8,6,8,6 but found a number of variations. *Wink* I did not really notice when I read aloud as it trips off the tongue with ease. The bit of variety does not hurt the read and I was caught up in the interesting tale. Plus the poem has some wonderful use of assonance, and alliterative bits to assist the flow. I liked "death cannot deter", "spirit, wild and free" ( a cliche and yet gave me a sense of the dog's essence both alive and in the world beyond), and "snuggle near" (such a sweet image).

*Starstruck* This lighthearted poem was fun and made me smile, and think of my pets and of all of my friends who have dogs...who, you know, are people too! {e:heart} Thanks for sharing your ghost dog and his antics.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Download This!  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Delight* Hey Jeff!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Laugh* I was intrigued by the title as there are all kinds of downloads! I was so happy to see the idea of mental downloads..as in psychic ability as more people are developing sight... and this is a scary idea that one could be totally vulnerable to another's mind.

*Burstg* The way the human solved the problem was genius and I infer that the aliens, who seem well travelled, have never had this sort of download! The concept that humanity is so nasty with obscenities is brilliant comment.

*Alien*I enjoyed the dialogue and you did a great job telling a whole story in the conversation of these two characters. I was drawn in by the vibrant first lines, a dramatic speech that made me curious. I laughed at the description of "you're a tiny little thing" and it set up the contrast in appearance. Tony's curiosity is childlike and evident.

*Delight* It was fun to read the conversation that really revealed the alien's disgust so vividly as well as Jack's sense of humor and his ingenuity sharing his not so nice experiences. Talk about Video downloads and assimilation! I think the idea he had no choice is like a red flag and a challenge.

*Thumbsup* It is amazing how you left so much to the reader's imagination too in the cryptic lines about the sacred creatures, what is possible etc. You keep it open for minds to go anywhere. *Laugh*

It was an effective ploy to use italics for the alien speaking from his mind while regular font indicated Jack's talking.

*Rolling*I burst out laughing at " that's just plain wrong" and the last line! Too funny!

I like the happy ending that Jack is the hero and earth is saved...at least from alien assimilation.*Wink*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your imaginative and comical writing! Good luck in the contest! I had fun! Write on into the new year!

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Review of High Hopes  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Legerdemain!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight*Wow! This was a unique and surprising response to the theme of high hopes and I guess gangsters can have them. I like that this guy was doing something kind of positive in getting out of the biz! What a way to do it! Great twist at the end. I should have expected it maybe. LOL

*Burstp*The short story caught my interest with the first line showing a celebratory action of the characters that made me curious to read on. High fives can be for so many things and they were out of breath so..they could have been racing. *Wink*

*Bursto*I like how you slowly reveal why Hendon wants to leave and we get a good idea of how his boss is as Merv's conversation furthers the story. The dialogue is useful and moved the story at a good pace. You don't say how old Merv is but I get the idea he is much younger as he has more fear of the consequences and wants to stay out of trouble.

*Burstb*I like how you have them look down the alley...Hendon for one purpose and Merv for another before the surprise hit. I smiled when he said the number of hits and it was now obvious he was well planned. It really showed he was used to doing it when he could do it to a colleague and yet showed also he knows quite well what Merv meant. *Thumbsup* I did wonder if it was wise to do it when there were already cops around seeking, in case they heard it.

Two glitches for me:

I wondered if "they'll" in the line "they'll have to lay low for a short while" should be "they'd". It sounded off to me. *Think*

This line: "Once you're in with Girardo, you're in." threw me off a bit as at first I thought Merv was speaking it...eg. the You... but then thought it was narration. Would it then not be third person? *Confused* Could just be me.

I enjoyed reading this shocking crime piece and it really did fit the theme. *Star* Thanks for sharing your gift. All the best in 2020! *Wand*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Tumbled Granite  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Words Whirling 'Round!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Tophat* What an elegant expression! I loved it!

The imagery from your detailed description is so vivid I could see it and feel it in my mind. The first line caught my imagination with "gray shoulders" and I was enchanted into your vision. *Salute*

*Delight*Your quatrains are balanced and it was a joy to read them aloud. The rhyme is well done ( only two places you used plurals eg. cool, pools) and your use of poetic techniques like alliteration, assonance and consonance created an appealing soundscape. "sliding silver glints" and "chill torrents tumble..drowning deeps" are wonderful examples. Each line seems carefully crafted to capture the pristine beauty of this space. Original expressions like "bald pates" sparked my attention and I could imagine those dragonflies.

*Dragonflyb* Using the present tense was potent as it put me in the moment where the scene unfolds and movements occur. The use of natural punctuation aided the read and pace. The enjambments were effective especially the line with "o'er". Not sure about "the" but I see the pattern you are making in each first line and it did not throw me out of the read. *Wink*

*Thumbsup* The title is evocative and a cool image in itself and the last word was a great surprise and harkened back to the title as the whole process repeats itself. I appreciate the time it took to do justice to this place in nature..to get just the right word pictures that appeal to the senses. I really get the sense of the seasonal flow here. Very well conceived. *Star*

Thanks for sharing your word wizardry in this stellar composition, well deserving of its ribbon! It took my breath away! I want to go there. *Bigsmile*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Pain  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Welcome to WDC freelancer1131!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight* Wow! Congratulations on posting your first items. I like poetry so I chose this piece. I so enjoyed your tag line quote. I have not read Nietzsche in a long time and the notion here give reason for the lows and highs of life. It reminds me of polishing coal to a diamond.

Your expression here is potent in voice and the image of one struggling in the mind as hurt desires to throw him off base is vivid. The queries are relevant and I can relate to the state of mind. I was struck by the truth of "I wish I was stupid" and thought of all the times that being of higher awareness always seemed harder.

*Quill* The free structure fits the emotional content and theme and the personal voice is real. The repetition of "craves" is very effective as it is like a chant and repeating the word "evidence" as you have is a good device. I had to keep reading to the conclusion. Well done.

I could so sense the underlying "soul" power that lives beyond the mind's chatter and beliefs.
It is like the poet knows there IS more even if hurt is present. The mind will ever seek the why's while the soul knows the truth and joy beyond. *Smile*

*Starstruck*This is an evocative expression and the fact that "I get up again" is hopeful. Thanks for sharing your personal vision that inspires. One hopes in the writing of it, the way clears. *Smile*

Keep on writing and birthing your own star! *Star*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Tinker!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight* Oh this is so brilliant! Not many write limericks about themselves and yours is not only humourous but celebratory as well! Congrats on becoming Yellow. ( I realize it was a while back but I never saw this poem til now! *Whistle*) It is a wonderful way to give tribute to your promotion!

*Bursty* It was a delight to read your limerick with its fine rhyme, flow and comical flair.
I noticed you followed the format though if line one was 10 syllables it would match with lines 2 and 5 for a 10,10, 6, 6, 10 syllable pattern. *Wink* It did not throw me out of the read aloud, just a minor point of form. *Thumbsup*

*Bursty* I laughed at the attributing "thinking " to being a yellow case.The contrast to the word "winker" is unique and made me ponder. I had to look up the different meanings. *Laugh* Too funny! Considering that the poet "expounded" before he was Yellow, I feel it will now escalate as well.

*Smile*The punctuation served the read and the dialogue added drama and I thought of someone who was so proud! Well done!

Thanks for sharing this very entertaining bit of genius! You have a gift for words. *Starstruck*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Jody!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight*Wow! It was cool to find a bit of history in your port. I studied history long ago but never heard of this king so I was curious! *Smile*

*Thumbsup*I like how you set up a point of interest: that he was king three times! It seems an unlikely possibility as in those days ex kings either died or were killed. He must have been lucky. The name Dutiful certainly suited him. It is rather an amazing tale.

Your biographical report retells how he did it and the information is simply told, which is good for a children's genre piece. It was coherent and paragraphs were well organized,sharing facts. The voice was consistent with a factual tone.

*Quill*I wondered about adding this phrase to the next line to shorten the prior one in the second paragraph. "and was a mean and cruel king" . Something like "He was a mean....king, so in 326..." It would flow better and get rid of the "and". YOU could even use a more active voice as in " the nobles overthrew him and....Elidurus became king." Although "made him king" would work to if they chose him. *Wink*

*Questionp* I wonder why the other two brothers overthrew him. It might add some detail to the story. It sounds like he was quite a kind and forgiving person. I wonder who recalled the old king was in the tower. It would be cool to add a bit about the way of the land during that period of history. Yet, your topic was about the three time king.

It would be cool to write a poem tribute about him. I am keen to go and find out more! Thanks for this taste of old English history. Maybe add a link to a resource. *Wink*

Keep writing on in the new year and have fun! *Starstruck*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Prosperous snow. Congrats on all of your fine work at the Contest challenge. *Salute* YOU rocked it!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


I have been really enjoying reading through all the poems you have been doing and came across this one with its celestial title and I love stars! *Wink* Also I see it is a poem form with which I am not familiar so I am checking that out too.

Your cameo is well structured according to the note you helpfully added to the page. *Wink*
The poem imitates a brief image of deep space with its stars and light travels, kind of like a cameo. It seems that the beauty involves the stars, and how light travels as well as the sparkling effect.

I wonder if having a colon after "space" might indicate that it refers to stars, and light when you say Beauty in the first line.

I like the use of the word "bawls" as it is so unique and has a sound that mimics a wide space and means "loud sound". Cool! I wanted to put a comma after "hydrogen" as the next word seems to refer back to the word "light". I had to reread it. *Wink*

This was pleasing to read aloud for your words are well chosen for sound effect and thematic content. I could easily imagine this star magic. {e;starstruck} You share a lot of science in a short poem.

Thanks for sharing this expression and craft as well as your prolific imagination and scope of vision! *Starstruck* I am inspired to give this form a try.

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Review of Restless  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC Madeleine.
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


Wow! I enjoyed reading this unique expression and can relate to restless night musings. Great topic to share. The genres you chose are relevant for the work as well.

I admire the way to have two poem streams in this free style presentation. It makes it seem like there are two voices and we all know the mind can have conscious and subconscious musings going on in our heads at the same time. Cool! *Cool* Using italics to separate the trains of thought was effective. It took me a minute to get the flow.

The contrast of the dark and light vibrations is vivid. I could see the image of the poet's and positions and feel the eerieness of the creeping night. Cool latin word. I had to go look it up as I have not taken latin in a while. The image in the first verse is so clear I felt for the sleeper.

I appreciated the soundscape as I read aloud too. Some awesome use of assonance and consonance as in "soft covers on cold feet", repeating "ee", "s" "d". "c: etc. add to the flow and atmosphere of the poem. *Star*

I was happy at the end when peace is found. The metaphor of the stranger into a friend is wonderful.

Thanks for sharing your startling vision. I appreciate the effort it took to get this into twin form and it did feel like a meandering night mind. *Starstruck*

Write on and I hope you find a home here at WDC.

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Review of I can't sleep  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
*BalloonP* Happy New year whiskerface. I am here with a review to celebrate you as this popped up on the random Reads! *Delight*

I could so relate to the title and its theme. I have nights even when I am tired that sleep seems to keep at bay. I like that writing is one of your go to activities when sleeplessness strikes.

I like the directness of the first line to set up the experience. Just letting the pen scribble on the page is as the mind rambles I think can settle things. And it looks like you found a gem in that the ponderings led to ideas for your challenge. *Wink*

I was as surprised as you were with your "Really?" when you mentioned the prompt! Who thinks these things up? Also, how is a defunct band "covered" by someone who is dead? What does that mean? *Facepalm*

I laughed at the polarity of it will be tricky and then the vast flow of names (all of them I am familiar with) and the realization that it won't be a problem. I infer that it may have been that keeping awake...the muse wanting to get a handle on it. LOL

The writing feels like flow of consciousness that relates to the tag line of musings.
I think "its so much rubbish" should be "it's..".

Now I am curious as to which one you did! *Smile* I also wonder if this was all of the musing of the evening or just a shareable snippet. It is a short "Pouring out"! *Laugh*

Keep on writing and musing into the new year.*Star*


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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC Rhacun!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight*Congratulations on posting this first item. The title sets the theme of beginnings and it suits your mini bio theme. The genres you chose are applicable as well.

I could relate to your first forray into WDC. Ten years ago I joined as a free style writer as well and you will find many who write for relief, fun as well as more professional reasons...all are expressions and we value that in everyone. I liked your notion of writing being a "reliever". I am sure many of us can agree. *Smile*

Your piece considers two questions which are clearly outlined on the page. One about your rationale and how you found WDC. Thanks google! The other about how you began writing and a bit about your background. I so get how differently the two sides of the brain operate and real life can sometimes not allow the muse's work! *Wink*

Wow!You learned Japanese? "jap_eng'? Brilliant.

*Quill*A few little glitches:

Continue to use the past tense in the first lines of your second section:
eg:
In my childhood days, at elementary school, I loved..."
When I "entered" college..
when I asked... instead of "ask". *Wink*

*Star*I like how you end your piece and am curious as to where you will start. What do you like to write? And remember there are all kinds of online helps with language and grammar etc, so be brave and write on! *Smile* Have fun and hope you find a home here at WDC.
Also, reading and reviewing others is a great way to get back into the swing of the language. *Heart*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Prosperous snow!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Laugh* Your evocative title caught my interest as I was curious as to how good luck has a cost. It reminded me of some things are too good to be true..or watch what you ask for. LOL

*Confettir* I was not disappointed as I had a good laugh! I like how you use the "tradition" or black eyed peas as a good luck item. I wondered about adding an author's note about how that came about. I read you had to eat 365 peas for prosperity to come about. *Shock*

You capture Uncle Joe vividly in his belief and his new year activity in his man cave! The cost of his choice was hilarious and realistic! I like how you leave us in no doubt of our inference.

*Star* Your double etheree is a fine model of the form and it is amazing how you managed to get the story streamlined to fit the syllable counts. I appreciate the time it must have taken. *Salute* It has a coherent flow and was pleasant to read aloud with its instances of assonance and consonance. ( eg.hard c, long o, l, ea words) Well conceived and written. The imagery was vivid and I was drawn into the story. Hey you could add the recipe in a note..if Cora will share! lol

*Quill* One little typo in line two I think...should "New Year" be "New Year's"? *Wink*

*Star* I had fun entering into this vision and felt bad for Joe, although he should have known better. *Laugh* Thanks for sharing your craft and entertaining poem.


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Review of Screens  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Jeff!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Tv*Scanning for newer poetry and came across this diamante with its interesting topic. I thought of all kinds of screens, like on doors, or room dividers, or computer or tv! LOL So I was curious to see which screens you would choose to compare or contrast in this form. *Smile*

*Computer* The glyph on your page is evocative...talk about mind control, hypnosis and the matrix. Wow! Scary.

*Smile* I enjoyed reading your diamante aloud especially line three with its alliterative seamless flow that seems to mimic the mind's connecting with the screen! Brilliant! *Star* The descriptive words you chose were vivid and so effective in showing the effect of screens on people. Contrasting the more positive qualities with the negative ones in the second half of the poem was well conceived and gives us lots to ponder.*Thumbsup*

*Tv* You really fit the theme to the format, using the rules to advantage. The first half of the poem had a good vibe and as I read the atmosphere got heavier. The idea of "desolate" is a good choice as is "dangerous" ...one hears so many sad things with people addicted and buying into online elements.

*Smile* You made good use of alliteration, assonance and consonance that assisted the flow and pleasure of the read.

*pen0* The last word seems to used as a synonym for screen and makes sense when one considers how the screens are separating folks. True concept! It also fits in with the screens that actually are dividers. LOL

*Star* Another well crafted and evocative poem that bears a wisdom and truth for us to ponder. Thanks for sharing your vivid vision.

Write on and good luck in this year's I Write activity. er.. it is week 2 now, don't forget. *Binoculars* *sink*


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Review of Baseball  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC George. *Smile*
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


I found your poem on baseball on the Read A Newbie page. I used to love to play catch when I was a kid. I was a terrible batter as I usually had to pitch to smaller kids. LOL It is cool that it did become a national past time. It is interesting that you refer to the creator of baseball. I went to look up the name. Cool. I wonder about putting a little author note with a link at the bottom of the page for interested people. *Wink*

It was a pleasure to read your poem for its even flow and effective rhyme that tells the basics of a baseball game and its effect on the watchers! You make it sound fun and use vivid details. *Thumbsup* The poem is well structured in balanced lines that make it flow with an even beat.

You had some really fine enjambments too as "never roam" and "enthralls". *Smile* You really capture the energy of the crowd when the ball is flying. The punctuation assisted the read well too. I like how you make the title part of the poem as your first line refers to it without saying the name of the game.

I really felt your appreciation of the game in the tone. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck*

*Quill*Keep on writing and I hope you find a home here at WDC!

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Review of Oh Canada  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year Jatog the Green!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Countryca* As a Canadian I could not resist the title "Oh Canada"! *Delight* I like how your focus is on the expanse of land especially its Arctic and wilderness places. Using Niagara Falls as a Canadian landmark is cool too seeing as the US also has part of them.

*Quill* A well constructed quatrain poem with pleasing rhythm and cool rhymes. I loved "few" and "caribou". I did notice in your last verse the rhyme scheme changed and in the first two verse the first two lines do not rhyme.*Confused* It is hard to rhyme with Canada. LOL I looked up fireworks and it is apparently 2 syllables...I still say as 3.

*Delight*You add some really neat information like the origin of Hudson bay and seaplane access. I did not know fireworks were taboo where you are from. I wanted to know more about crossing the border..as it seems you are adding experience to the poem.

I enjoyed some of the soundscape too with consonance like "stark cabin" and other "c" sounds and assonance as in the repeating "O" sound words. The punctuation assisted the read as well.

*Leafr* Thanks for sharing your vision and tribute of Canada. *Heart* I have not been to the Arctic yet but have friends who have taught up there with the Inuit people. And yep, they could only fly in and winters are long, dark and cold. *Snow4*

Keep on writing into the new year with flair! *Starstruck*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC Holly Wogan!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Turtle1* Dinosaurs are a favorite topic for kids so this poem will surely appeal to them! The title reveals the name of a restaurant! How orginal. *Thumbsup*

*Dragonflyb* I enjoyed reading your creation of this "dino diner" which is a place for all types of dinosaurs. Your first two lines set the invitation with a lovely flow and rhyme. It is like an advertisement for the place. Cool idea.
The poem has an effective rhyming structure that adds to the flow of the lines that have a variety of lengths. Punctuation assists the read and I like the exclamations, which indicate emotion or excitement. I liked the change around line about meat for Carnivores.

*Quill*I wondered why words like Eat, Lunch, Dinosaur and Then (in line 4} are capitalized. *Think* I figured you wanted to emphasize the types of Dinosaurs..with capitals like "Herbavores".

*Quill* I wanted to put a period after "some more" as the first read through I tried to connect it to the next line when the line refers back to line 3. A pause there would really be helpful.

*Quill* In terms of flow, I wanted to drop the word "can" after Omnivores as it slows down the read. Yet I do see you are advertising that they can eat what they like at the restaurant. *Wink* I wondered about putting "can" after "fish" to make the line a bit longer. It feels short.

*Delight*I love the last line that perhaps you could make food for dinos in the audience! It sums up the piece effectively. I did wonder why you would have to cook it. LOL

*Turtle1* Your poem is fun with a quick pace and kids can learn a lot of facts about dinosaurs as you were clever to get the types of eaters into the poem: carnivores, omnivores etc! The chosen vocabulary is kid friendly, eg. green stuff! *Delight*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your appreciation for dinosaur theme, entertaining kids and me with this unique expression. A thought came to me now. I can imagine a diner for dinosaurs and imagined the mayhem as maybe they will all be eating each other as the herbavores eat greens. LOL

Keep on writing and all the best in the New year! *Wand* I hope you find a home here at WDC.

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy New year and Welcome to WDC NorahMae! I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!*Glass**Tiara*


*Cool* I was drawn to the intriguing title as it suggested to me that one is trying to meditate or something but loses track. Your poem presents a more pressing scenario: focus while trying to study or learn. *Smile* I get it!

The first lines were appealing for its image of reading upside down and I laughed that it was poetry the poet was trying to understand. I wonder if that pose helps. LOL The image and voice is so vivid.

Your free flow was fun to read and gives the impression of a mind that wanders. The question near the end reminds me of a distraction. Bolding the word focus emphasises the theme and also may be the mind trying to get through. *Smile* The image of the worn pages is evocative too. *Smile*

I like the short lines that sound like one is talking to oneself. I was wondering if the person is hyper as the words "stay calm" are used. I think the word "Take" in "take effort" needs to be "takes".

The theme is relevant and I am sure many can relate to the situation, especially if bored, tired or quick minded. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing your musings in such an appealing way. *Starstruck*

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Review of Through the Mist  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Happy New year Tinker!
I am celebrating you with a review for "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party!
*Glass**Tiara*


*Delight* Wow! The atmosphere and imagery of this expression is appealing and I was hooked in by the first line with the personification of "dawn" yawning! Brilliant.*Sun* Your repeated use of this "au" sound in a few other places is effective too. The poem continues to lure me into the vision with vivid images of the tree in foggy outline and the cocoon image. I can so relate to wanting to stay abed in such damp weather even if the scenery is a delight. *Salute*

I like how we begin outside in the cool damp beauty of nature where even the tree does not show its potency and then leads us inside to the poet mimicking the feel of that chill in the house and like the tree not pop out fully! The descriptive language is well chosen. " a screech too shrill"
is ouchy!! *Thumbsup* I like the link between the cobweb of fog and the cocoon! Cool connection and potent image.

The contrast of the cool damp morning and the warmth of bed and the dream of summer is clear and the reader wants to join you in the latter dream! *Laugh*

The free verse is a good choice though I thought there was a small pattern with verse one and three being 4 lines and the other two being 5..but the last has 6...so I was mistaken. LOL I might have shortened line two verse two to accent the "tree's Green" and make the rest into another line. It would look more neat on the page and give a sixth line. *Think* It works regardless, and I was not thrown out of the reverie.

It was pleasant to read aloud and without rhyme, the flow was coherent and the use of poetic conventions gave the piece a lovely soundscape to read aloud. Your images appealed to the visual and kinesthetic senses.*Star* I could feel the clammy cold and downy quilt. *Heart*

Thanks for sharing your clear vision of this experience in such an appealing way. Keep on writing as your muse leads on into the new Year! *Starstruck*



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