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Review of Advent  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Snow5* Happy December again ridinghood! I am happy to review this piece from 'I Write in 2019." It is a timely prompt from the Cramp *Smile* and is relevant for our winter storm day! LOL

*Snowman*Wow! You have really fulfilled the prompt with song titles for December in a wonderful free style poem. I enjoyed the vivid images reflecting times and events of the season especially the "cosmic ache" and the "ancient tale" references. *Thumbsup*

*Treepine*The tone feels reflective with images that suggest a pulling inward and storytelling around a fire. I like the philosophical vibe that reminds me too of Sagittarius. Ending with a hopeful wish for the world is so inspirational and again reflects the love and peace of yule and Christmas.

*Starstruck* I appreciate the effort of trying to get the titles into a coherent flow and message. I entered into the vision with ease. The tone and longing of the voice was awesome.
Thanks for sharing your unique expressions.
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Star* Yay ruwth! You did it. 52 weeks worth of writing! *Salute* I am thrilled to review your last piece!

*Snow4* Wow! I really enjoyed reading your story and it felt so real. It was a touching tale and you captured the girl's reaction in the quiet moment of reality so well. The short backstory had good detail that helped me get a picture of this character and I had to assume she had a good reason to run away, though it is not stated. I am glad she had a boy friend, at least.

*Snow5*The repeating of the word "no" in the three line phrase before the end was really effective to make the point of what was lacking and the story fit the prompt of NO Thanksgiving vividly.

*Snow2*I wonder if the fact that the friends were associated with her boyfriend could have been added earlier as in the beginning you say "my friends". The 6th paragraph might fit more coherently further from the end..to tighten up the flow.

*Star* The third and last lines provide a neat connection. It was rather sad. I did wonder why the girl did not go with the boy friend...unless they did not want them to know she ran away. This could be a longer story and yet I know it was for the prompt! lol I am just curious.

*Snowboard* Thanks for sharing your vivid little tale that really showed the theme with potency.
Congrats on completing the year!*Starstruck*
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Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "November 25, 2019" 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Snow4* Happy December ridinghood! *Smile* I am happy to review your piece in 'I Write in 2019!" It has been fun reading your entries for the year. I always enjoy your tarot quotes as well.

*Snowman* Your idea for the word 'Imagine" is original and evocative. I enjoyed the movement the weave brought to my mind like a dance. The use of alliteration was effective and the placement of gerunds added to a flow in the read aloud. Nice pattern. I liked the three word lines that contrasted as well. Wonderful free style composition.

I wondered why you did not use spaces after commas.

*Snow2* I felt a celebratory vibration at the end. The poem is so appealing as it drew me to ponder: an earth dance, the fall and rise. Reflects the evolutionary shifts we are going through right now. It is what I see anyhow! *Wink*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your unique expression. Write on in the dream!
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Review of Greeting the Ex-  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Snow4* Happy days in honour of St. Nicholas, Schnujo! *Santahat* I am here with an early gift in your *Stockingb* or wooden shoe! *Laugh*

Wow! This short flash piece has an intense vibe and you drew me in with the short vivid image in the first line. You set up that some conflict had occurred and I was curious. Your descriptions are clear and it was easy to follow the story. I take it the "he" is the perpetrator but unclear if his name is Fritzie. I took from the line that it is a cat and it is an interesting addition to the story. Having his name in the line confused me a minute as I thought it was the name of the ex at first. Perhaps changing the order of the information so it begins with "he" and then refers to the cat's actions... yet.. it is a lovely misdirect to have me think the cat is at the window. He mirrors what the speaker feels. Awesome.

I wonder if "me peas" should be "my peas" though it might be an accent.
I wondered at the notion of "running toward gravity"? *Think*

You really kept up the intensity and pulled me along into the scene. It was a shocking surprise at the end and the notion of "greet" is effective. The title works really well.*Thumbsup*

Whew! You leave me hanging to know what happened but I can imagine... I just hope he turned around and went away. *Smile*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your dark vision so brilliantly! I felt bad for her and you showed her desperation in a dramatic way.

Thanks for all you do and be to make WDC shine brighter. *Starstruck*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Snowman*Hiya tinker! I found this poem at the 'I Write in 2019' forum and as I was unfamiliar with the form, here I am to check it out. *Delight*

*Snow1* The Dekaaz really does feel like haiku in its simplicity and turning point. I enjoyed your vivid images that were more powerful when read aloud. I like how, in the last two examples, you speak to the person involved. I liked the irreverence in the last one: the idea of his "noise" is funny. The comparison of "sunrise" with new projects and the action of bursting is brilliant and well conceived. The last line of the first poem was evocative and really fit haiku essence as the cut line in haiku usually has a strong effect so the word "loud" mirrors that. The idea of truth is relevant too.

*Snow2* The format is well composed according to your author notes and I enjoyed the syllabication in odd numbers. The last lines are effective responses to the first two and feel haikuish in their breaks. Your use of consonance and alliteration added to the delightful read and flow. Well done.

*Star*These poems were fun to read and inspire me to give the form a try as soon as I get time. LOL
Thanks for sharing and encouraging the knowledge of new forms.

eyestar
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Review of Pretty Ugly Words  
for entry "Cold Nights--Aquarian" 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hi Sugar Cube! I am happy to review your item I found at "I Write in 2019!"

I enjoyed entering into the vivid imagery of your poem as winter has come here and the cold struck a chord. LOL Contrasting the cold night with the warmth is brilliant and drew me into the experience.

The Aquarian form is well composed according to your author notes. The first line intrigued me with its personification of night in blankets...or is it the person wrapped up on the cold night. I like that both ideas popped out! *Salute*

The flow was appealing with the addition of the alliteration. I did wonder about putting a comma after "blankets" as the abrupt pause here threw me off a bit. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing your creation, which made me want to wrap up and get some hot cocoa tonight. Write on! *Star*

eyestar
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Review of COLD  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hi Monty! Thank you so much for your kind response to my last poetry newsletter! I keep trying. LOL I found this is the Sr. Center Forum and the title spoke to me as we just had our first dose of SNOW!*Facepalm*

I enjoy limericks and I had to laugh at the reality of this one! I feel like this some days when it is freezing..even inside. LOL It was fun to read your flowing lines and I appreciated the lack of grammar in "don't snow" as it gave the voice a personality! *Thumbsup* The repeating word "don't" is effective for this too.

The poem is well constructed with apt rhyme scheme and lines. I see you followed the 9-9-6-6-9 syllable pattern though by my count the last line is one syllable short.*Confused* I wondered about adding a comma after "so cold" in the third line as a pause. I kinda tripped up there when I read it first time around. *Wink*

I noticed you write in first person and wondered if the "YOU' in the last line could be "I" as he seems to be speaking about himself. The word "you" works and I was not thrown off by it. Just a consideration as I entered more into the edit possibilities. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing this cool opinion of the cold that seeps into bones! I could enter into the vision for sure. *Star*

eyestar
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Review of Pretty Ugly Words  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Pumpkin**Delight* Hiya Sugar Cube! I saw this fun poem at "I Write in 2019" Forum! What fun! I recall writing my first "little willy" this year and was surprised how little mean thoughts could pop out! *Laugh*

*Jackolantern*The topic of Hallowe'een really suits the choice of form! Your example is effective and fun to read. *Smile* The contrast of the happy little kid on Hallowe'en and the icky treat at the end is well conceived. I feel there is a bit of a lesson about not going to an old hag's place! *Laugh* The last line was indeed a surprise with a touch of cruelty, as part of the form. Brilliant application.

*Jackolantern* The poem had a pleasing rhythm and the rhyme was right on! A complete scene in four lines you brought to life and I could imagine it. My favourite lines for the flow and pace were lines 4 and 5. I had to say EWWW at the end. Well done!

*Star*Thanks for sharing your creepy vision in this well conceived Little Willy! Poor guy. *Wink*

eyestar
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for entry "Specters Rise" 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Ghost**Delight* Hiya Carly! I am happy to review your piece from the "I Write in 2019" forum.

*Ghost* I was drawn into the tale in your vivid first verse with its easy flow and descriptive setting! I enjoyed the consistent rhyme scheme and eerie vibe. "demise" and"disguise" and "facade" and "fraud" are effective choices! The qualities and intents of these specters are clearly revealed to give the readers warning. The suggestion to hide inside makes sense.

*Ghost*It was fun to read and while the rhyme, assonance and consonance added to the flow and pace, I noted that the rhythm was not always even. It did not detract from the read though Lines 7 and 10 felt off when I read it aloud as they are longer lines than others in the verses. *Wink* I wondered too if "slave" should be "slaves" as in keeping with the plural "they". *Think*

*Ghost* Your response to the prompt picture is effective. I like your creative vision of the specters, and that they take the not so smart or those who lie to themselves. Cool.

*Star*Good luck in the contest. Write on!

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for entry "Shosagoto" 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Pumpkin**Delight*Hiya Tinker! I am happy to review your poem from the "I Write in 2019" forum.


Wow! This poem captures a vivid picture of the musical japanese event. I enjoyed learning about different cultures and using words in that language is effective in giving a real flavour of the culture. Your notes were helpful and interesting as I had not heard of this form either. *Wink*

You did an expert job in composing this complex form with its 7-5 syllable and pauses. It flows in a coherent manner. I like the line "tunes of the ancient" and the word "crack" reflects the sound of the instrument. *Thumbsup*

*Think*The grammar in the first line threw me a bit... I wonder if Girl dancing in the temple, with..." would be more clear. I know the dancer has control....it first struck me that it referred to the temple. LOL ah poetry forms! I see though that if you put "Girl" first, you may need to put an article in and mess up the syllables. Not a big issue..just something that occurred to me.

*Star*I would love to see such a performance! Thanks for sharing your knowledge and skill at WDC, word wizardess!

eyestar
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Review of Pretty Ugly Words  
for entry "Argonelles" 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Treefall3**Delight* Hail Sugar Cube! I am happy to review to celebrate you! I found this in the "I Write in 2019' forum. *Thumbsup*

*Laugh* I enjoyed reading your model of the Argonelles! I had to laugh at line 4 as it was so evocative and really dramatized your point! The theme is appealing and I hear want you say about judgement and drama. It is exhausting I think. Time alone is essential.

*Pumpkin2* The poem is well composed according to the guidelines of the form and it was easy to read with a solid flow and strong vibe. I like the rhyme of "drama" and "mama". The last line has a tone that reflects a no nonsense vibe like a line in the sand. *Thumbsup* The forth line with the word "ain't" provides a dramatic contrast and made me think of a rap! Cool.

*Fairy* The punctuation assisted the read and I did wonder if a comma might be useful after "drama". *Think* This was fun to read. Thanks for sharing your vision and the argonelles form. Fine writing. *Star*

*Leafr* Write on as you follow your muse. *Star*
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Pumpkin2* Hiya Mastiff! I found this in the "I Write in 2019" forum and could not resist reading to see how you fulfill the taboo challenge. It can be tricky. *Smile*

*Jackolantern* How wonderful! I love how you create a lively and vivid picture of the jackolantern without using the word or any taboo words that could be helpful. *Star* The mood is strong and your personification is well done. I could imagine the point of view of the jackolantern as he discusses his life! Brilliant. *Delight*

*Pumpkin*I had great fun reading this aloud with your effective rhyme and soundscape. Your word choice is impressive with the "ized" rhymes. *Salute* I had a good laugh as the tale has a comical vibe.

*Jackolantern* I am not familiar with the form and you have made it quite magical! *Laugh* The unique rhyme scheme adds interest and to the flow. I think the punctuation helps the read and I like the contrast of "tykes", "zombies" and "big boys."

I wondered about the necessity of the comma after "mesmerized" as it does connect with the next line. The pause does work with the rest of the piece though. I wondered if "they leave" should be future tense in keeping with line 7, as it has not happened yet. *Think*

*Starstruck* This is so entertaining and fulfills the parameters of the contest in a creative way. Thanks for sharing your vision, craft and knowledge of this form.

eyestar
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Review of Pretty Ugly Words  
for entry "Halloween--Luc Bat" 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Pumpkin* Hiya Sugar Cube. I saw this on the "I Write in 2019" forum and couldn't resist the checking out this form with such a unique theme. *Smile*

*Bat1*I enjoyed reading this poem aloud for its well composed structure, rhyme and your vivid images illustrating features of Hallowe'en night! It sounds exciting and I liked the contrast of the picture of the autumn day with the spooky and fun elements of the event. The word "mauled" is wonderful.

*Jackolantern* I can imagine getting these ideas into this form was quite a challenge and your chosen thematic words were effective. The rhymes were interesting and I really like the combo of "crisp brown leaves" and "cool brisk days" for its sound effect and rhythm. "when" and "begin" are off rhymes that did not throw me off in the read. Good use of consonance assisted the flow as well. *Thumbsup*

*Bats* I had so much fun entering into this vision and the opportunity to study this form using your fine example. Thanks for sharing. Write on! *Starstruck*

Com Link Fariy Sig For Dark Raid!
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Fairy* Hiya Prosperous snow! I am happy to review this piece in "I Write in 2019!"

Wow! I just learned about this form of poem and was happy to see your entry. I like how you incorporate the Bab and your faith into this format too! I think the topic suits the form and your title is appealing as I like music, and sacred chants. *Smile*

The structure is well constructed with appropriate word counts. The pauses are effective and I enjoyed interplay of the music with the scriptural words and how the parts of each line reflect each other.
My favourite is "croons holy words" and the spirit through the chords! Wonderfully vivid images! *Heart*

The tone is spiritual and reveals the joyful blending of the words and music that give an even loftier vision of tribute. *Angel* The repetition of "s" sounds adds to the flow of the read as well.

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. I find this to be a challenging format and appreciate the effort to get it to work out, especially the parallels. *Star* Write on!

eyestar
for WDC Superpower Reviewers group
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fairy2* Hey Tinker! I am happy to review your item from our "I Write in 2019" forum! I do enjoy your poems and this form looks like a challenging one. *Thumbsup*

The title really appeals to me as I thought of how old some of our favourite poems are and it seems philosophical so it does suit your content as I read the poem.

This was pleasant to read aloud as I liked what you did with word choice to create some alliteration, the repeating er sound in the mid line, the "d" sounds, "tang" and "yangtze" and the word "drowned" echoed the "wo" in the mid line as well. Well done and I imagine tricky to do with some of the factual content of the piece.

I wondered at the awkwardness of the word "drunkenly" and "attempted" and yet they tell the tale.

I was not familiar with the form, so thank you for the notes! *Smile* It is so cool to do a poem about the founder of the form. The word count is sound and the pauses are effective. I noted the parallel in the first line, and the second with two breaks, shared a response to his genius as a writer even paralleled as a drinker. The imagery in the last line rocks...and it made me smile though it had a sad action in the beginning of the line. It was so poetic! Brilliant. *Star*

Thanks for continuing to share your love of poetry and wonderful crafting. *Heart*

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Review of The red ring  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*Delight* Hi Fischer KelTath! I am happy to review this as you requested though I am not a horror writer myself.

*Thumbsup*Your first line grabbed my attention and the story has the feeling of a flash fiction with its short vivid picture and ending twist! Wow! I liked the dream idea and the mysterious ring. It was weird how she opened her eyes to a news cast about her death. Inventive!

*Smile*I entered into Gertrude's vision as she gazed into Grant's eyes and liked the idea of going off planet. I could imagine how she felt about the urns. You made me think that this would be a wonderful life and it made me curious who the other urns were for...though it does not really matter for the story line. The detail was good. Seemed romantic and dreamy.

Then I got the idea of a spell being cast hypnotically..

*Quill* I noticed a few glitches with punctuation:

You need a question mark after "marry me"., a comma after "Grant's eyes" to connect it to the second line and I would tighten it up :
"Grant's eyes, she saw every dream....had."

>"sons" "granddaughters" need apostrophe before the s to show possession.

I wonder if the place "alpha centauri" needs a capital letter.

"every thing" should be one word "everything".

Typos here I think:
"smalls" should have a capital letter as her last name.

"restoraunt" I think is spelled "restaurant" and "estlishment" should be "establishment"
Comma after "grill" and capital on "manhattan".

*Smile* This is a fascinating tale and seems like science fiction as in one episode they are at her door and in the next they were at a restaurant. The name Elysian Fields is a great symbol.

*Think* I wondered if the red ring as symbolic and if they were now in that other place when she woke up as you do not show how she died. Interesting concepts that could be expanded upon for clarification.

I would like a few more details but I am not sure if you could only use a short word count. A creative idea worth continuing.

Very creepy feeling though!

Thanks for sharing your imaginative vision. Keep writing on!

eyestar
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Review of Grammarama  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Balloonp*Hiya Davy Kraken ! Celebrating WDC's 19th birthday with a review for you! *Delight*

*Nuclear* What an absolutely brilliant idea! I hear what you say about repeating the same information about mistakes generally made. It is a time consuming effort and we want to be helpful. I think I may have seen reviews with such links... you probably started it and other masters caught the drift.

*Balloong* I found this listed in Sunnie's "Writing Tips And Advice Corner"  was drawn by the cool title! Your introduction is engaging and gives the rationale behind the creating the resource. It also gives us a picture of how you review and your capabilities for it.
The paragraphs are organizes and explanations easy to follow. Thanks for categorizing sections that make sense and for the links on the page as it saves scrolling to find what we might want. *Thumbsup* I like that you add an invitation for folks to email you with other topics. *Heart*

*Balloonb*It is an awesome contribution not only for you but as you say for any writer who may want assistance, or even to learn something. I am always doing that. My favourite part is the spelling words... I love spelling and usually can spot errors quick. (even though I typo all the time...lol) The words you chose are awesome...like lie and lay sometimes gets me and I totally forgot about the differences between eg, i.e. LOL

*Balloony* Having a book item where you can add more insights as you go along is effective. I will be putting this on my favourites so I can find it easier and pass it around. *Smile*

*Star*I am glad I found this and thank you for creating a valuable contribution to WDC. Kudos for all you do to make this space shine brighter. *Starstruck*

*Cake*Happy partying! I see you have been here almost as long as WDC itself. I joined in 2009 when it looks like this item stopped being added to...mmm. Wonder how we can fix that? *Laugh*

eyestar
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for entry "A Birthday Gift..." 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Balloonp*Welcome to WDC ! Celebrating WDC's 19th birthday with a review for you in 'I Write 2019'! *Delight*

*Laugh*Oh do I hear you about GIFs. I don't even know how to download them as they always want me to download some program. LOL Good for you for getting it done in the name of entering Party games! *Tiara**Salute*

*Balloonp* I do like your choice of GIF as it has sparkly stars and is simple with the birthday message. Brilliant of you to make your own!! You are amazing. *Star*

*Tiara* Your story is quite informational as you share your experience with the process. Original take on the prompt. Thanks for sharing the links too. I know nothing about artsy stuff on line.

*Star*Thanks for supporting our WDC party and sharing your genius.

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya Brenpoet! Celebrating WDC's 19th Birthday with a review for you! *Delight*

*Balloong* What a grand and evocative title that grabbed my imagination! I like the idea of autumn alchemy. Brilliant.*Star* The title is a line from the poem and illustrates the theme effectively.

*Balloony* I enjoyed reading this short lined poem aloud. The short verses with perfect rhyme and flow paint a picture so clear and vivid and showed autumn to be magical to me. *Thumbsup* The punctuation served the read and the word choices and soundscape of language was effective for flow and effect.

*Balloonp*The personification of Autumn is clear as your descriptions of what happens to her are realistic. The fanciful vision appeals to me. You show how winter will effect her and advise to enjoy the moment. A good piece of wisdom for us all in any situation. And Winter will be here...in no time. Ahh!

*Balloono* The theme of alchemy is carried out to the end with the delightful last line. It is like the magic is passed on to winter. The second last line with its comma after "and" is perfect for reflecting. I suggests that it will happen so fast!

*Star* I just loved this potent vision! Thanks for sharing your creativity and gift.

eyestar
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Review of Winter Wisdom  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 19th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*


*BalloonP* Welcome to WDC n.lea! I was drawn to the lovely alliterative title when I found your poem on the Read and Review Page. The connection of winter to wisdom is deep and and I thought of the medicine wheel North section. I like when I get ideas from titles. *Smile*

*Balloongo* Wow! I absolutely enjoyed reading this evocative poem with its soft tone. I feel the quiet undertone of winter season. Using the word "whisper" is a great choice.

*Balloono* Your personification is effective and the words are comforting as August warns of Winter coming. The imagery reminds me of native life of long ago with your mention of hearth and furs. I liked the phrasing of "till spring does reappear." I think it is better to use 'til for until. In any case, you need to use an apostrophe on " 'till' as the word till has a different meaning. (I think both spellings can be used.. but need the '! *Wink*

*Balloonb* It is pleasant to read this aloud with its appealing soundscape. Your use of alliteration, assonance and consonance with a bit of rhyme is effective. Repeating some words from the beginning at the end brings the reflection in a circle to complete ..as in a cycle. *Thumbsup*

*Starstruck* Impressive and engaging poem! Thank for sharing your vision and craft for me to enjoy and think about!

eyestar
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Review of Dawn  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 19th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*


*Delight* Welcome freespirit to WDC! I was intrigued by the title when I read the tag line and was curious how the notion of the Dawn would fit with life! Good one! As I read I see you have chosen good genre categories...I like philosophy and inspiration so yay might have found this if I had not been on the Read A Newbie page.*Thumbsup*!

*Balloonp*Wow! I could really feel the tone calling us to not give up even when we know there will be challenges in life. I think if we can accept that there will be, we could let go of some of the weight of "should" ! LOL

*Balloonr* The free style is a good choice for a reflective piece and I enjoyed reading the message.
The three verses work coherently. and the lines, while having no specified length, flow well. On the page that third line is much longer yet I do not know a fix as the idea is vital to your message. *Smile* Punctuation served the work too especially when I read it aloud. Good pause effects.

*Balloong* I like the repeated words like "battle" and the "don't...just yet" phrasing in the last lines. Really makes it emphatic. The bits of inner rhyme are effective too for flow and drama. I can really get a good picture of the contrasts in the piece. Ending on a high note with an alliterative type of phrase about dawn is inspiring and encourages the reader. The flow of the words is quite easy and smooth here too to mimic the feeling. *Salute*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your inspiring vision with its experiential wisdom! Keep on writing and have fun at WDC!
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB* A WDC 19th B'Day Celebration Review... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WDC *CakeB**BalloonB**PartyHatB*


*Delight* Welcome to WDC CreativeChic! I was charmed by the evocative title of your poem on the Read a Newbie page. The relationship of the drops to love is so brilliant a notion. *Thumbsup*

*Balloonp* A truly lovely expression in which I can see the image clearly. I enjoyed the idea of the drops dancing, joining together as one and how you compare it to true lovers. The last line with your title words is effective way to complete the message.

*Balloonp*A structured poem is well chosen to express this sentiment. The verses are 4 lines each and rhyme and I enjoyed the way it flowed though I did not notice a specific rhythm scheme. It might be the next thing for you to consider.

*Balloonp**Quill* The rule of thumb is to have the rhyme scheme consistent.. and I noticed sometimes you rhymed abcb and others abac or abca. *Wink* Yet perhaps you were not looking to create a definite structure..but just in case, I mentioned it.

*Balloonb* The tone is gentle and dreamy and the imagery is carried through to the end. I like the lack of punctuation as it leaves the impression of this "oneness" without separation and definition. Good choice! *Thumbsup*

*Star*Thanks for sharing this vivid vision and allowing me to play with your words. Take what feels right for you and leave the rest. It is a heartfelt expression and good metaphor. *Starstruck*
Hope you are having fun at our 19th party bash!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Balloongo* Yipppee! Hey Party gal! Celebrating WDC's 19th birthday with a review for your "I Write in 2019" story item! *Delight*

*Cake* Wow! This was a delightful read and I could sense to love of the poet for these people and birthday surprises. I like how you wove the chosen words into the work so seamlessly.

*Balloonp* The story was coherent in its succession of memories and the details made a lively picture. I wondered why the mom would not be happy about her daughter's first surprise..but then, she may have been worried about the house not being neat or her not being up for it. etc. LOL ah moms! I thought it was sweet of the girl and wow, did you make the treats yourself? How did mom find out? Though I suppose you would have to mention it...LOL

It was cool how twice you wrote what you did NOT have or do at the parties. It was a lovely change. *Wink*

I wondered who else came to the sister's party and did they stay at the camp as well. I was curious as to how grandma had set it up. Would add interest and detail to know how it was then. *Smile*

*Quill*I only noticed a few little typos:

You missed a "t" in "a the dollar store". Aren't they great places for this kind of thing, especially so kids can participate with their bit of cash. *Smile*

"campgrounds": I wondered if it should be singular though maybe people do use the plural for one campground place. *Think*

*Cake2*The ending was fun! I did that once: gave myself a party..gave gifts to friends. It was small but I like it better! Fun!

*Star**Confettir*I enjoyed this memory story and how the vibe of the birthday reception changed for your mom. *Heart* It is cool too how you and your sister reconnected.

Good luck in the contest and thanks for supporting Rimad's activity.

eyestar
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Review of Rain  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp*Welcome to WDC M. J. M.! Celebrating WDC's 19th birthday with a review for you! *Delight*

*Balloong* I enjoy nature poems so was drawn to your title. I would add Nature to your genres rather than Other so more nature lovers might find it. *Wink*

*Balloonb* I see you have this as poetry and yet it is more like prose as it does not have a format like a poem but you do use clear image descriptions with lovely alliterative words and repeated letters.*Thumbsup* It is pleasant to read it aloud.

*Balloongo* I was drawn right into the picture you paint and feel the tone of the poet as he observes the world. I can see you putting this in poem format though it would mean dropping some words that would be unnecessary in a poetic structure.

For example:
I see gnarled branches
reach into a gloomy gray sky,
crying, drowning
the earth in its tears.

I see
beautiful fields.......... though here I would find a more specific and vivid word for "beautiful
turning to swamps

and so on. You can see how it lines up to be a free verse poem. Drop words like "almost", 'usually looks" etc. *Smile*

*Quill* I wondered why in the last part you say "almost picture" instead of I see if it is already raining alot. I really get the idea that the rain is torrential. *Delight*

*Cupcakev* If you keep this as prose, you need a comma after "sunshine". And I wonder about changing the second "sunshine" to a synonym instead of using the same word twice. eg. like "parting the world from light". or "I see no sun.....parting the world from sunshine" would be better. *Think*

*Balloonp* You really have given me a picture in my mind of a gloomy day! Wonderful vision.
Thanks for sharing and allowing me to play in your words. Hope it has been some help. Take what you like and leave the rest. *Smile* Keep on writing. *Star*

eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Pinhead  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Richard! Celebrating WDC's 19th Birthday with a review for you! *Delight*

*Balloonr* The theme image of your poem is fascinating and evocative. I like the nonsense genre and also feel a little bit of philosophy (or emotional) as I consider the idea of needs in the last lines of your verses. Knitting, drifting, repairing suggest going inside, being calm away from the weight and seriousness of life. *Smile*

*Cake2* I had fun with the image of being fabric and laying on the floor. The first verse image is vivid...I wanted to say OUCH and can relate to the mind being so overwhelmed, over worked. Staying up late may not help so I took the next line to mean.. learn to balance, though it could be doing homework. LOL

*Confettir*The poem has 4 verse structure with a consistent rhyme scheme that works. I see you had to get creative to rhyme with "cushion". *Wink* "fabrics " and "manic" is cool rhyme. I did not notice a specific rhythm count and I liked the smooth flowing in the last two lines of the verses.

I wanted to put the word "is" before "burning". *Smile*

*Star* I had fun playing in your vision! Thanks for sharing at WDC! I hope you find a home here and are enjoying the 19th birthday party fun.

eyestar
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