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Review of Deep Space Death  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Rocket*Hail Jody! Thanks for writing this interesting story for Blast off Contest! I am here to offer comments as a reader! *Delight*


*Salute*Wow! You created a clear vision of this crew and their mission including the warmth and understanding between them, so the ending evoked a potent and realisitic sadness. The reaction of Sarah was real and Derek not sharing the possible reason for the quick loss of O2 was also something one would do in compassion. Nothing could be done anyway. The danger of this space walk was shown specifically and I got that it was needed to inspect everything before the trip home. I wondered if in real life, they would have known the effects of deep belly laughs.

*Globe2*The first line I felt was long, filled with many ideas and could be more interesting to draw me in. A comma after "space" would have helped in the read. I had to reread to figure out what was meant.

*Earth* You set up the characters and their background clearly in the second paragraph so I got a feel for them. A few of glitches occurred to me as I read.

In "Finally, Jerry was the Pilot." I think you could drop "finally" as it threw me out.

"Though he was always quick to ask for a photo to show his three children when opportunity to send them back allowed." The meaning of this is not clear to me, or its significance. The word "though" and what he wanted a picture of was not clear.*Wink*

*Quill* A few other places to tweak maybe:

In "but still maintaining a margin.." I think the word "while" might be a better fit than "but"..

I noticed a typo in "the sealed the bay". *Wink*

In "..moon, literally." The last word added nothing to the line.

In "working on his check list, working with" you used "working" twice. Maybe tweak for variety and conciseness.

*Burstr*Where you begin with "Brandon suddenly begins...you start to use the present tense from here on instead of third person "began to" etc. The voice changes. I think consistency is more effective. eg. Brandon began... Sarah ran..etc"

In the line "seemed to intensify". I wanted to drop "seemed" to keep it direct and certain that it was indeed intensifying.

Where you use "Derek's name in the last paragraph..the second time you could use "he".

*Rocket*I liked the dialogue and interplay between the characters as they work together as it gave a sense of comraderie and realism. I can believe they know each other well and try to relieve stress of the mission.

*Rocket* The story line was coherent and the crisis dramatic. It kept my attention to see what would happen. It was tragic and yet at the same time realistic as such things are possible. More sadness was evoked by the fact that Brandon was planning to retire and spend time with his family and now...! *Sad* Good job! I also felt for the rest of the crew!

*Star* I enjoyed reading your story and appreciate that you could end the tale sadly! Thanks for taking up this challenge and sharing your vision.

eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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for entry "🏆 Misnomer
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**Xmastree*HI Ken! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*
I could not resist checking out your short poems in this contest and couldn't wait to see what the misnomer was. *Wink*

I enjoyed the humour in it as I saw your use of "crescent" as you include two images for the meaning. I laughed at the "cheese" part as I got the referral to the moon being made of cheese.Beginning with a query was effective in setting us up! *Salute*

An appealing piece of entertainment in 24 syllables!{e:star|


Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**Xmastree* HI David! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Delight* I love goats and always wanted one when I was a little girl. Now I visit my friend who has them and even got to goat sit! They are so smart and always open to eating! LOL I could not resist checking out this folder with you pictures. Your Baby is so sweet and that you are her toy is precious.
Seeing her with the dog is priceless too. I smiled at the caption for that one and laughed out loud at your campfire one. It was a brilliant idea to show that the ice storm was so bad, you had an impossible decision to make about what to eat. LOL yeah , right!! *Wink*

*Snow2*The photo of your truck is incredible too. Looks like a near miss and I remember living through a couple of ice storms and the damage was pretty freaky. Awesome that you could capture it in pics. It would make a good prompt for a story! *Shock2*

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing this precious memories and your love of goats! Keep on writing and Merry Christmas! *Ornament1r*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Balloonp* Hiya Dave! Happy Party Time! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Fairy* Oh gosh! I love fairies and so Tinkerbell appeals to me. LOL I was curious about her invitation too so here I am hooked by the title. *Laugh*

*Fairy* The lighthearted, gentle tone is alluring as her call to come to Neverland. The word "blossom" got my attention too. I enjoyed the flow and the language with its appealing soundscape was a joy to read aloud. All the soft alliterative "s' sounds suit the mystical aura and you ruse of alliteration and consonance is effective. Wonderful weave!*Thumbsup*

*Fairy2* The first verse is my favourite for its vivid images like "plumes" "stardust" and "wings" with their descriptions *Thumbsup* and soundscape and even without rhyme it sounds close to rhyme in some places. Bravo!

*Fairy3* In the second verse the last image is brilliant and the close sound of "unknown" and "moon" echoed well. I think the word "previously" is a bit heavy and not so poetic as in the first verse. It through me out of the piece a bit. I think "constellations unknown" says it all as it would mean they are still unknown til they get there, so why say "previously"? *Wink* I like the concept of an intersection between 'Now and Forever" and "washing dreams". Cool.

*Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. Tinkerbell fans salute you. *Fairyr*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar at "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers


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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star**Delight* Hiya Kiya! Happy WDC Anniversary month fellow December baby! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Santahat*

*Angelic* Wow! This experiencial expression is so moving and you capture in detail what you went through in the deportation for no reason experience. I so felt for the inmates and thought it was so unfair really, considering you were not criminals. You think a gentler approach would be applied. The handcuffing must have been humiliating enough and then all the rest. I can't imagine.

*Angelic* You write with heart and your observations are effectively written in a coherent manner. I could visualize each segment of the place and action clearly. I appreciate how you write about others there and your compassion shines through the work. I was so engaged in the story and had to keep reading. It was very emotionally evocative!

*Angel*I was glad you found a way to make it positive... in looking to the future rather than complaining and getting sucked into the dark. Like you mentioned, it could be suicide making experience. *Shock* We could all take a lesson here...and many of us have had less to go through that this. You are an inspiration. *Angel*

*Butterflyv* I could feel the devestation of not even being able to say goodbye to family. Again, for no good reason. I can see how Fear really runs the show and denies common sense and decency. You really reveal the dark side of this structure that is supposed to protect the innocent.

*Angel*The title suits the theme and I can only hope that a new dream has taken its place and that all you have learned and given will lead you to a more peaceful and generative space. Your last paragraph is a call to everyone as we are all in it together with every thought and action we send and vibrate. Thanks for sharing yourself and your light with us. *Starstruck* *Heart*

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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Star**Snow2* Happy December Prosperous Snow! *Snow3* I am delighted to review your piece from 'I Write in 2018"! Congrats on making it to the end! *Salute*

*Snow2* I have not heard of this form til I read it in the Poet's Cafe recently so thanks for your stellar model of how it works. I am inspired to try it out. *Smile* I like the title and theme of the poem too and it is wonderful how elemental and widespread the concept of candle and light of the world is. Very universal.

*Snow2* Your poem has an inspiring tone and I can sense the appreciation and honour of Baha'u'llah in your words. It was pleasant to read aloud with its effective rhyme and rhythm schemes. I really like the word "starkness" for its sound and imagery and the long "i" sounds work throughout the piece. The idea "matter has sway" is brilliant! *Thumbsup*

*Snow2*I notice the word "trusts" may need to drop an "s". Typo! I also wanted to put a period there as the next line can stand potently on its own. *Wink*

*Star*Lovely reverant expression! *Heart* Thanks for sharing your vision, faith and inspiration.

new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star**Snow2* Happy Christmas coming Ruwth! I am thrilled to review your item in 'I write in 2018" activity! *Smile*

*Candlev* The title captures the strong image of being an inspiration no matter what circumstances! Your picture in the trinket is lovely and bright too. Wow! *Thumbsup*

*Candlev* I so enjoyed this piece of wisdom and what you observe about bearers of light. The idea of choice is so right on for many things. The short fiction gives a lot to consider and it's message is coherent and clear. *Star*

*Candleb* Opening the piece with a question draws me in to ponder the idea of being a light. I like how you begin by asking your self and then the reader. Adding the concept of being willing to let it shine is an important point to make. We all have light...yet may not choose to let it be a strong as it could be.

It made me think of the song, "This little light of mine" and how so many lights gathered like a cluster of stars, can shine more brightly than one. It takes one to stand out so others can be encouraged to join...and not feel alone leading the way.
The courage to be that one..is what you are asking us to consider.

*Star* Wonderful reflection for this time of the year too...when so many will be without the memory that there is light. Keep shining.

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Review of The Winter King  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Snow2* Happy anniversary month Ken! I was happy to find this gem in your port! I love cardinals and they look so pretty against white snow. The title really fits its regal status and showy plummage. Good choice to evoke a vibrational image of this bird.

*Snow3* This is a lovely vibrant vision of the cardinal as he surveys his world in winter. It was a pleasure to read aloud with its flowy rhythm and expert rhyme. It kept me engaged with its imagery, and subtle personification. I liked the second verse image of he and his mate and the "song of oak and elm" make them seem magical.

*Snow3*Your composition of the form was effective and thanks for the notes about it. The repeated line useage you used to advantage and created a coherent picture that was appealing. You captured the creature's alertness, and boldness in your descriptions and the added human term of "master of his fate". You have a keen observation skill.

*Starstruck*I was drawn in and charmed by your mage's weave! Thanks for sharing your craft!

Best wishes for many more fulfilling years at WDC, sharing your magic!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #2176723 Unavailable **
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Snow1*Happy 13th year fellow December baby! *Laugh* Gosh time travels. I will be 9 shortly. I am raiding today and found this gem in your port. *Delight* The cover picture is awesome.

*Snow2*Brr! You have captured the cursed nip of winter vividly. The cars in ice image nailed the point of view of curse for sure. Good one. It is a real pain to clear ice off cars! Words were well chosen for the theme. The image of "vise" is brilliant and really fits! I like the word "numb" too as it indicates that the cold is so bad it even effects the psyche...which, by February and even sooner, I have so had it with winter too. LOL

I wondered about "spirits" freezing.*Wink*

*Snow2* Thanks for sharing the notes on the form as it is a new one to me. You model it well using the rhyme, line and flow patterns. It is fun to read aloud. The point of view is convincing! *Snow4*

*Starstruck* I enjoyed reading and entering this vision...and lucky it was only imagined as I did not get cold at all! LOL Thanks for sharing your craft.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #2176723 Unavailable **
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Snow2* Happy December Angus! *Xmastree* I could not resist reading this when I saw it on the newsfeed! I love trees and it is sad when trees are cut down for no good reason. (though I suppose with xmas tree farms, they are bred for the purpose.)

*Xmastree* I so enjoyed your story and your personification and voice of the tree was stellar! I really was drawn into its vision and vivid description of its treatment. It makes good points and makes the reader think a bit. It also made me laugh with images like the "makeup" and not the real me. and the "kill it" line near the end. Your tone is awesome.
You show the many ways of dealing with the dead trees and all the varied ornaments. Very real.

*Ornament1r*The pleading query at the end with its touch of anger was perfect! Brilliant composition. Serious yet humour filled, depending on whose view! The names of the author were so funny and the tag line at the end made me smile too.

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing your bit of Christmas cheer. *Laugh* Well conceived and potent in point of view. I feel for the tree. Pines are lovely as they are out my window here. *Heart*

eyestar
** Image ID #2176723 Unavailable **
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for entry "A Lifetime
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Snow3* Hi Tinker! I am happy to review your item in "I Write in 2018!" Whew! We are almost done the activity! Good work! *Salute*

*Snow2* I enjoyed reading and reflecting on your vision of a lifetime. The images are vivid and the message is wise, directing the reader as to how to best spend time. You incorporated several units of time and my favourite was the "blink" and the "sprint". *Smile*

*Snow5* The flow was pleasing to read aloud and the lines 2, 3 and 4 rather mimicked the lengths of time in their structure and speed. Well done! *Thumbsup* "Long marathon" had a pleasing sound too. I liked your use of "whatever time granted" as it enhances the idea of not knowing how long we have..and adds a meaningful "present moment" to think about. *Thumbsup*

*Snow2*Interesting use of "complete" with "rest". It gave me pause. I get the idea that each day one will have nothing to regret or left undone just in case.

*Snow5* The choice of free style fit the tone and concept and was clear in its intent and message. Thanks for the reminder of how precious time is. *Starstruck*

Happy Happy December and Holidays!*Candycaneb*
eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Eyestar sig from Fanstasy shop
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Review of Balancing Act  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*HI Ken! Here I am with another review for your winning pack in "WDC Rides- Wonder Deluxe Carnival Rides. *Delight*

*Sun* As an astrologer I could not resist this one! You really captured the essence of Libra with vivid details in a celebratory tone that pays tribute to the sign's qualities. *Thumbsup* The title is fitting too as Libras do spend time sitting on the fence to consider all angles and look to balance elements. The glyph shows the scales of the Goddess Maat who judges the heart of a soul.

*Moon* The quatrains are well composed and fun to read and I enjoy how you intersperse them with couplets in italics to add the poets commentary on how the aspects occur to him. Brilliant and so entertaining to the end.*Smile* The question about belief draws the reader in and it is cool when you notice how it fits you. It can be amazing at times, even though there are lots of variables in a natal chart that can make every LIbra a bit different. *Wink* The political commment was cool too...Law and justice don't mesh! I had to smile at a good reason to give up tv.

*Star*The piece was easy to read for flow and the rhymes were effective. The use of words like "zenith" and "harvest" is awesome to denote the time of year. I like how it focusses on the positive traits of the sign as it is a tribute piece. LOL

The plural for Libra in "Libras" as "Libra's" is possessive in "that Libra's embody". *Wink* I like the french phrase! Perfect.

*Sun*I enjoyed your summation in the last verse and your positive comment in the couplet at the end. Entertaining creation and well researched.

*Starstruck*Thank for sharing your Libran vision and craft! You rock!

eyestar
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Review of Humble Pi  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight*Hi Ken! I am here finally with reviews from your winning package in the "WDC Rides- Wonder Deluxe Carnival Rides! It is great to visit your port again. I found this mathematical treasure and thought the title was brilliant.

*Calc*You have a gift for composing fine quatrains filled with details on the subject matter. You really know your facts and wove the tribute poem effectively. The rhyme scheme is consistent and the chosen words interesting. The vocabulary suited the math concept and it was fun to read aloud. Your use of consonance and assonance added to the pleasure of the read.

*Calc*It was fun to read phrases like "physics to statistics" and the i in "tires that you ride on"! Wonderfully vivid. *Thumbsup*

*Quill*Though the syllable count is not even, it flowed well. The only line I found hard to get into a flow with the rest of the poem was line 2 in the last verse.*Wink*

*Calc*The poem has a celebratory vibe as you reveal the importance of pi in everyday life, even if we do not know it. I had to smile at the last line too! Awesome creation.*Star*

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft as well as educating us about pi! *Laugh*

eyestar
blue fairy wings--my auction win!
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloony*Hiya Hooves! *Delight* I am happy to review to you as part of Princess Megan Rose 's winning bid for our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group package at "The Four Seasons Auction and Raffle!

*Cat*The title is appealing and drew my curiosity. I can so see the kitty on the ledge hiding. Cool! You paint a vivid picture of the first view of snow and the personification of the cat is well done.

*Cat* It was fun to read aloud and follow the kitty's actions. While the rhythm was free style the rhyme scheme was effective. I thought the only unpoetic kind of words that threw me out were "unexpected", eventually and "remarkably". I think it might sound better without those words. *Wink* Just a thought. They do make for a flowy sound.

*Cat*I could really get into the kitty's head and the felt the warmth of the home. I was glad the cat did not go out and playing with the dog sounded fun for her.

*Star*Thanks for sharing this charming picture that captures the heart of the matter. *Wink*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
for WDC Superpower  Reviewers group
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Review of Street Music  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloony*Hiya Hooves! *Delight* I am happy to review to you as part of Princess Megan Rose 's winning bid for our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group package at "The Four Seasons Auction and Raffle!

*Dog1* What a neat idea for a poem. I could so visualize the sweeper with the hyper dog! *Thumbsup* The quatrain was fun to read with its effective rhyme scheme and had the feel of a lyric. The tone is uplifting as well and your vision of the pair being "debonair" is a striking comparison to how we normally see a street and strays. Brilliant and original tribute! *Starstruck*

*Dog1*You really chose some interesting and vivid words to rhyme. I enjoyed the read.

*Dog1* The one part that felt off was the first line as it did not really connect to the second. Took me awhile to get it. *Wink* I wanted to change "seemed" to a more direct verb "was" for clarity.

*Star*Thanks for the entertaining vision. You have a great imagaination.

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
for WDC Superpower  Reviewers group

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Review of Trash Island  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Earth*Hi Genipher! I am happy to review your entry in the 'I Write in 2018" activity. *Delight*

*Earth*The title is appealing as it paints a picture and made me curious. I could imagine a pile of garbage with all of its different aspects include how it might smell! Yuck! *Laugh* It made me ponder about the environmental questions. It was a cool surprise when I read the piece that the idea of trash island was actually positive. Neat! *Thumbsup* Even more curious now as to how that would work. LOL

*Earth*The short piece of writing gives a really interesting and unique prompt for a story and gives a challenge to the imagination. The Bermuda triangle element gives a potential author lots of room for the wierd or wonderful to occur.

*Earth* The composition was easy to follow and provided enough scope the who, what and where elements of a potential story line. The question at the end is directive in intent with the words "survive" and "alternate dimension". It could indicate a sci fi, paranormal, fantasy, adventure in terms of genre possibilities. The sky is the limit! Good job. *Star*

*Smile*Thanks for sharing your visionary idea.

eyestar
new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers
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for entry "Marie Of Romania
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Image for our raid

*Tiara* Hi Megan Rose! "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group is touring our Around the World Ports and I found this lovely essay on Princess Marie! You did a really good job of highlighting who she was and her bio. I had not idea she was actually more powerful that the king, yet I imagine it does happen at times that the woman have stronger skills. I admire how she adapted to the foreign land. *Smile*

*Tiara* It was easy to read the essay and it flowed in a coherent manner. I sensed a tone of admiration for this person as well. The choice of topic and vocabulary represented the country effectively! *Star* Thanks for sharing your vision and adding to our collection of World items.

eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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Review of Dawn Breaking  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Balloony*Hiya Quest-YELLOW-Thanks Schnujo ! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you. This is part of your package in the "SuperPower Animals Auction for Charity! Thanks for your generosity.

*Fairy* Wow! This is a wonderfully vivid picture and appealed to my muse. With a potent tone and clear descriptive images it was easy to enter your vision.


The free style suit the theme and emotional content and it was a pleasant read in its flow and imagery. The image of the palms swishing and dark "molested" by the air is brilliant and original. I could imagine the sapling and the "jeweled net" was appealing. *Thumbsup* I was charmed by the weave and the comparison.

I think the word "unbelievable" is not as poetic as some of your other descriptives....not as real. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing your gift and vision. I enjoyed your world. *Starstruck*


Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Fire* Hi ruwth! I am happy to review your entry in 'I Write in 2018"! I really liked your original response to the prompt word. Using a question form gives the reader something to ponder and stirs the imagination of how to go about the creation! *Thumbsup*

I think you need a question mark at the end of "form". *Wink*

You did a great job with the 24 syllables in giving a sense of the meaning of the word and I enjoyed the simplicity of the language conveying a clear thoughtful notion! Wonderful. The word "must" struck me too as it asks permission..or if one needs to follow a certain rule.

Thanks for sharing this well conceived poem. *starstuck* Keep on writing.

eyestar
** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **
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for entry "Black Moonlight
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Witch* Hiya Tinker. I am happy to review your poem for "I Write 2018"! *Delight*

*Moon* I enjoyed the theme and your images are vivid enough for me to easily enter the vision of the night and witching hour!

*bat* It was a pleasure to read aloud with its wonderful soundscape. Assonance, consonance and alliteration tools are well chosen. I really liked "gossamer ghosts" and the motion of "merges" is effective. I can also imagine the wispy clouds crossing the moon. LOL

*Ghost* The form of tanka is well composed and the topic is a unique one for the form. It was fun to read with its imaginative picture.

*Jackolantern* Thanks for sharing your clear vision and craft.

eyestar
** Image ID #1959093 Unavailable **
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for entry "Beyond
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fairy2* Hi Tinker! I am happy to review your poem in the I Write in 2018 challenge! Isn't it fun to do these 24 syllable poems? You shine! *Star*

*Burstr* The title was intriguing and I like the idea of the enigma of the theme labyrinth..it could go beyond to the unknown! Brilliant!

*Burstg* My imagination was inspired by the word "golden labyrinth"! Good hook! The contrast of imagination and madness is interesting and valid too. The verb "threatens" adds potency to your image. I like how evocative your concept is as you leave room for the reader to add their own vision. *Thumbsup* Deep stuff.

*Delight*I had a thought of the mind being a labyrinth as well with its many facets.
Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. I enjoyed entering your labyrinth. *Star*

eyestar
for WDC Superpower  Reviewers group
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight*Hi Carly! I am happy to review your poem for the I Write in 2018 Challenge!*Smile*

*Fairy* Wow! I enjoyed reading this weave aloud as the soundscape was interesting and the ideas appealing. I would like a place where these essences abound. The free style suits the theme and content and I like how you do use a bit of rhyme and alliteration in a free way.

I thought maybe you could drop one and in the second last line as you use one in each of three lines in a row and it makes it a bit run on!.*Wink* The image words "frolics" and "flirts" are mravelous and the heavy words of "unencumbered" etc really give a sense of that feeling! Nice contrast with lighter feeling words! *Thumbsup*

I notice a couple of periods. I wonder about using punctuation consistently or even not at all. *Wink*

I like the idealism of this place of dreams. Lovely response to the prompt! *Star*

Thanks for sharing your vision! Keep writing on! *Quill*

eyestar
for WDC Superpower  Reviewers group
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Review of WRITING DOT COM  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Cake* Ahoy! Thanks for entering the "Eighteen Candles Poetry Contest! to celebrate WDC's 18th Birthday! *Balloonp*

I enjoyed your acrostic with its clear format and treasure of WDC qualities noted in each key letter of the relevant key words. Well done! *Salute*

The tone is positive in its tribute with some appealing vocabulary and images like "opulant oasis" and "treasured traditions". You really capture a broad view of what WDC entails. It was fun to read aloud with its effective alliteration! *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing your vibrant vision and craft! I loved it.*Balloong*

eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Colourful sig by AEWilcox!

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Review of Writing Dot Com  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Cake* Ahoy! Thanks for entering the "Eighteen Candles Poetry Contest! to celebrate WDC's 18th Birthday! *Balloonp*

I enjoyed your acrostic with its invitational tone. The idea of addressing people to come on in and discover WDC fare is so unique and you make it sound fun to join! *Star* The short lines and imperative invites of what to do is well conceived!

The key words are relevant and the energy vibe is celebratory and positive in its tribute to our home site. I smiled at "our corner of the net"! Wonderful read.

Thanks for sharing your vibrant vision and craft! *Balloong*

eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Colourful sig by AEWilcox!

475
475
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Jeff! I am Happy to review this for I Write in 2018 Challenge!*Delight*

I really enjoyed reading this flash story. I thought the wisdom of the father was so sweet and you did a great job with the unexpected twist there. *Thumbsup* It was not the reponse one would expect. I laughed at the comment about the ladder! Talk about aiding the rebellion! Cool!

The piece was well written and the situation was a relevant one for teen rebellion. The title really fit the essence of the message too. I did wonder about beginning the piece with the first bit to dialogue to attract curiousity and start with drama rather than describing why the dad would be surprised. I can see that it would be necessary...but maybe placed after a more engaging opening. *Wink*

The dialogue was engaging and revealed story and the relationshipm showing that it was a close one. I think your use of the prompt words was creative too...the idea of a shell here makes sense. *Thumbsup*

It would be so cool if more parents could have this kind of relationship with teens. I like the idea that the responsible girl...could have balance and the dad was open to this. *Heart*

Thanks for sharing your vision!

eyestar
for WDC Superpower  Reviewers group
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