|Amazing storyline. Very gripping too although it takes time to get acquainted with the many characters. But that said, I understand that the story demands so many characters. I really found the story too good, and would love to read the rest of it. Keep writing. My best wishes to you.
As far as the grammar and editing goes, I think there are quite a few spelling errors and punctuation/capital errors. Please do correct them. If you need help, I would be more than happy to help you.