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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/acorrin
Review Requests: ON
2 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of To Be the Moon  
Review by ACorrin
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well this was beautiful! I like the splendid imagery and the rhythm was spot-on. This is one of those rare poems that I want to read out-loud to someone because I like how well it rolls off the tongue. One teensy bit of advice: the verse where it says "(the tides would work because me)"--I think there should be a comma right after the "because" to indicate a pause. Or you could insert the word "of" so that it read "the tides would work because of me"--you would also still keep your rhythm! Well done!
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Review of Double Rainbow  
Review by ACorrin
Rated: E | (4.0)
Beautiful imagery and a happy, surprise ending! Just a little advice--I think you meant to say she wipes her wet sleeve off on her pants, but you just forgot to add the on :D Thanks for the cute little story!
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