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This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!
 Initial hook: cute love tale of an interracial couple, but we don't see enough of the Central Character
 What I liked: the pairing of these two people, makes me wish the entire book was about them, but since it's not....would suggest mentioning them less, UNLESS you bring them back as ghost! or just do a bunch of flashbacks
 A few comments/suggestions I had:
(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)
 What is the story world of the tale?
Is this a world you have experience with?
these are 2 items on the checklist I think you missed, I don't see how this story ties in with The 5 People You Meet in Heaven, course I didn't read the book either soooo...
 While George Lancer was a twenty four year old was Garrett Sheriff.
While George Lancer was a twenty four years old, white, and was Garrett County Sheriff.
 Though many of the Cherokee Indians no longer believed in arranged marriages, and most of the Indian tribes had moved to reservations long before. Just a few small clans were left to die off leaving the remaining land to the white government.
Though many of the Cherokee Indians no longer believed in arranged marriages, and most of the Indian tribes had moved to reservations long before, a few small clans were left on lands given to die off leaving the remaining land to the white government.
 However, Chenoa's tribe were true to their customs.
However, Chenoa's tribe remained were true to their customs.
 with decorative feathers and beads in the strands of hair.
with decorative feathers and beads in decorating the strands of hair.
Her cheek bones were high. She stood proud. Her back arched and pride in her eyes.
less is more here, maybe try: Her cheek bones were high, her posture was proud. Her back arched and pride in her eyes.
That was when George begin to pay the teacher for private lessons.
That was when George began to pay the teacher for private lessons.
Her feet was the only tale of who this woman was earlier in the day.
.....what? I see what you're trying to do here, needs more...detail, perhaps: Her feet bore the only resemblance of his former child bride.
As time past, the two learned to love each other..... and participated in the white-man's holidays.
I think you waited way too late in this vignette to introduce the CC, Yancy's parents intimate background doesn't seem pertinent to the story.
She gave birth to Yancy meaning Englishman because his father was white.
She gave birth to Yancy, meaning Englishman because his father was white.; no need to explain why he's named Yancy, it's pretty obvious
Other sentences to consider revising/embellishing/add detail or simply omitting all together:
Though Yancy did not have any of the white-man's features.
His name meant “He is Strong”. If he were born in the Cherokee village, Biziil would have be one of the Noble Braves. She was born with her mother's same skin and features with two exceptions. She had blue eyes and blond wavy hair. Her name meant amazing.
It was a few that made life hard, but they were a dangerous sort of people.
The children had little time to play. However, Sunday was a different story.
One of their favorite times were sitting in the circle with the other children. Listening to their uncle, Chenoa's brother, tell stories that had been passed down from generation to generation.
Though he was a great it was easy to see why his is called Majag which in English means “Never Silent.” The children love Majag and woke up early waiting their mother for their trip.
The tucks his two younger siblings into their beds.
George had to arrest a twelve year old young man for burning his barn the year before.
George had to arrest a twelve year old young man boy for burning his barn the year before.
They were excepted.
They were accepted.
Bidziil was six. He had a deformity. One of his eyes turned into his nose, and he was missing three fingers from his right hand.
whoa! those are some serious facts to reveal at such a random time, especially since when you first mention him he's considered strong; that's also a very odd/strange deformity
A few parting comments...
You use several simple sentences that can either be combined with other sentences or embellished with more creative words;
for reference sake I would recommend adding links to your character sketch (part of the instructions) and the weekly assignment;
you've got a decent base here, but should have focused way more on Yancy instead of his parents
Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!
Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
 
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