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677 Public Reviews Given
678 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and methodical.
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Short stories; grammar.
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Fantasy and Action
Least Favorite Genres
Horror and Melodrama
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Under 5k words.
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Public Reviews
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201
201
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: and so the quest starts, and here I thought Kyle was the main character

*Pencil* Storyline: 3 of our 4 main characters are either "dead" or kidnapped, leaving only Garen

*Tiedye4* Characters: The Ultimate Fire Dragon, the protector of the Tablets; the mayor, very patient; Kalish, Kyle's deceased sister?; Jennifer = Kyle's mom; Wind Soul Drainers, nasty soul eating buggers sounds like; Etano, the swordsman; Marry, Garens...gf?; Galadson, Garen's last name; Monahan, the armor smith

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: adventuristic, journey ready

*Telephone* Dialogue:"You are right, master, let’s get out of here and light the Lighthouses, like destiny wants us to do,” sounds a little odd and campy;

*Suitheart* What I liked:"after Kyle fell down the magnificent mountain." applaud the word usage

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*his eyes returning to their pure white state.
don't remember them ever changing...maybe they were red? perhaps remention that since it's a new chapter

*BulletB*linger, we are in a way saving their lives.
linger, we are in a way saving your lives.

*BulletR*It was the Protector who said this, looking at Neotasha
ummm, just how big/small is this dragon if it can fit inside the door of the Healing Room? would be neat if he was able to take on human form

*BulletV*only one I know is the Wind Soul Drainer, because I have actually seen that happen. What they do is simple really;
not sure this was the way to convey the WSD's abilities in detail, especially since they didn't tell him how he might protect himself from this fate, imagine that news would scar/frighten most characters

*Bullet*Garen said, putting on the necklace and bending down to kiss Marry.
random, odd way to introduce Garen's love interest

*Bullet*minor changes
Now it is time for you to decided, Garen;
while lacing is sword;
his body feel to the depths of

A few parting comments...
again I'd really like to know details about Neotasha, starting with how old he is and his role in the community

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
202
202
for entry "Chapter IV-The Loss" 
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: great development and action

*Pencil* Storyline: the baddies get the tablets, o no!

*Tiedye4* Characters: Kye, mysterious leader of the 3

*Home* Setting: Mt. Killimore...soooo no one's gonna adress the fact that Mr. Killimore shares it's name?

*Suitheart* What I liked:"looking like the aura borealis and", that's a word you don't come across enough in writing I think *Bigsmile*;
"Right when he touched the Tablet, he looked greedy", I'm reminded of Bilbo's intense look of greed when he tries to take the ring from Frodo;

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*“You have the power of Silver Fire, am I correct?”
ummm, shouldn't he already know his students abilities? why wasn't it mentioned in Ch. 2 that Shelby was silver?

*BulletB*"That was an incredible thing."
"That was an incredible thing."

*BulletR*The stairs had what looked like a rainbow liquid inside of them; the walls and ceiling were the same. It was an amazing sight to look at,
i bet! love the imagery

*BulletV*“Why would they make use walk all the way up this mountain, and then make us go do into its depths again?”
great question, wondered same thing myself

*Bullet*The one that looked as though it was suppose to go into the hole
what hole? you don't mention "the hole" til the following paragraph

*BulletG*pushed it onto a padding that had the Green Fire Symbol
more description needed, where's this padding? what's it look like? feel like?

*BulletB*statue also made him feel the urge to steal the Rainbow Tablet for himself
uh oh!

*BulletR*He was afraid of that feeling and tried to hide it
that's a good sign...

*BulletV*where all of the seven colors of Fire of Color appeared
where all of the seven Fire Colors appeared

*BulletG*he wanted to wield it to make people bow before him,
that's a bit much, call it jumping the shark; you make it sound now like all Rainbow Firer's are inherently evil in a way, that they always lack control, to even think that...

*BulletB*“I did hear see something behind me.”
“I did hear see something behind me.”

*BulletR*before I do more than enable your movement and speech.”
before I do more than disable your movement and speech.”

*BulletV*or thou shall be punished.”
be more creative and use words/phrases other than "punish"

*BulletG* But this is where you are wrong, Kio,” said
....was he talking to the Town Kio in this hallucination?

*BulletB*and he climbed himself up to Garen’s reach
and he climbed himself up to Garen’s reach

*Bullet*minor corrections
then him and the rest of them;
electric volt trough his arm
but I think I should to get this one


A few parting comments...
curious about this blue light that keeps popping up, I think a charactor with blue light would be a guardian; Killimore should've spoken up when Kye showed up, he never would have willingly let Kyle go retreive the tablets;
“There were three people, not two,” said Kyle quietly. “Hero-X was Kyle; then there was Garen, Killimore and someone else by the name of Kio was trying to stop him!” .....what?! color me confused....

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
203
203
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: love all the knowledge we gain about the multiple effects of color fire!

*Pencil* Storyline: new characters and nemesis' arise!

*Tiedye4* Characters:Mr. Killimore, teach; Neotasha, Garen's nemesis; Nerag, purple fire man, the magician formally known as 'Prince' of the magic world; Elyk , silver hair man; The Leader of 3, Mr. No Name

*Telephone* Dialogue: The Leader speaks very...curiously, why'd he let them live 3 years ago? Kyle because he has rainbow fire, but why his friends?

*Suitheart* What I liked:"her slightly yellow eyes", love the unusual eye color;
“but only if you can protect me.”, awww, yay for innocent flirting!;

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Shelby, his friend since childhood.
no need to reintroduce her as her childhood friend, it may be 3 years later, but the reader just read that last chapter

*BulletB* Her hair was long and smooth, stretching down to her mid-back, the brown hair was whipping away from her in the wind.
Her brown hair was long and smooth, stretching down to her mid-back, it was currently whipping away from her in the wind.

*BulletR*Garen, who looked over at the person who did and found Kyle
dude, he coulda died!: Garen, who sought out his savior and found Kyle

*BulletV*man in the front had crazy yellow eyes with a wild look in them
this story really is action packed! love it.

*Bullet*but he looked as though he was barely past the age of twenty
AWESOME! i love ageless characters!

*BulletG*Bronze and Gold Fire are unknown to us, for they are a rare Fire to have,
oooo I am siked to meet those characters

*BulletB*Silver Fire is just as rare, but even more so mysterious.
Neotasha has silver fire, why isn't he in class...?

*Bullet*minor corrections
down to his should and jet black eyes;
And you two are the most experience at Fire of Color.”;
interested them at what it could be.


A few parting comments...
I can not BELIEVE none of the kids asked Killimore about his 3 visitors! it was driving me crazy.

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
204
204
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: great action

*Pencil* Storyline: Kio's attacked by madman with gay fire, doesn't seem fair that something so beautiful as the rainbow can cause such destruction

*Tiedye4* Characters: Kyle, brave main character, and his Mum; Shelby and Garin - Kyle's bffs; Forbis - Shelby's bro

*Home* Setting: peaceful town of Kio

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: chaos, disaster, massacre

*Suitheart* What I liked:"a ball of Rainbow Fire threw him back to finish off the dying man.", not a happy moment but great job with imagery;
"Fire of Color" powers, sounds interesting, creative, and fun!;
"a field of signing sirens", nice imagery;
" he still had one great fear that he couldn't master; heights", love this protagonist weakness;

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* His bed started to shake violently and he instantly threw himself out of bed, almost falling over due to the shake.
His bed started to shake violently, he was instantly awake and threw himself into a defensive position on the floor, nearly loosing his balance due to the shake.

*BulletB*and started walking him down the stairs.
no time for walking, they're in danger: and started running with him down the stairs.

*BulletR*stopped and looked at him in the eyes
stopped and looked at him in the eyes

*BulletV*There was an explosion that blew into their house,
At that moment an explosion that blew into their house,

*Bullet*He staggered his way out of the house
He staggered his way out of the house

*BulletG*burning houses and flesh stinging his nose.
burning houses and flesh stung his nose.

*BulletB*knocking them down on their backside but Kyle still standing due to the speed he was running.
knocking them down on their backside but Kyle still ran.standing due to the speed he was running.

*BulletR*He could remember almost everything that they've done together
He could remember almost everything they had done together

*BulletV*by going as deep into the forest as they could,
by going as deep into the forest as they dared,

*BulletV*and started running down the steps with Garen, very hesitantly.
and started hesitantly down the steps

*Bullet* other minor corrections
go to the enterance
at the man stnading at the cliff


A few parting comments...
I like where this is going, hope you find this before your major edits; and what's up with that couple who was right under the rainbow man? how come he didn't kill them?

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
205
205
Review of Joel  
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very cute story that should be a PSA commercial

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: educational

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Dad’s had to go to the hospital about Great Grandma Carrie.
Dad’s went to the hospital to see about Great Grandma Carrie.

*BulletB*“Mum, could I see Great Grandma Carrie again? I’d like to say goodbye to her.”
cute

*BulletR*Oh, your Dad and I write stories that are published on a site called Writing dot Com.
lol, very nice PSA announcement and WDC boost

*BulletV*“Hmmm!”
...? why is that there?

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
206
206
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: Amazing work of art, love the message, flow, and rhyme

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: ruminative counsel

*Suitheart* What I liked:"And recognise that what we reap, we sowed in time now past.";
"But that is just a label that we do not need to bear", AMEN, so sick of everyones obsession with age and youth, blah!;

A few parting comments...
very well said.

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
207
207
Review of Limericks Mk X  
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: Awesome collection of short poems, I could read a book of these.

*Suitheart* What I liked: the variety and comedy

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Sits perched on the living room floor...The family all want it put in the hall
that would creep me out too, especially if it's a little person with a creepy grin on it's face...

*BulletB*GROG...I’ll make it myself – I can’t lose.
hilarious! had to google that, love new words! wiki says: "grog typically has just one kind of liquor...and one kind of a non-alcoholic beverage." made me think 'what if u make it with TWO liquors?! ...then you could 'lose'....and maybe win at the same time!*Bigsmile*

*BulletR*TRUE LOVE
cute....but don't quite get it, if the lover came too soon...does that mean the husband didn't notice him? funny.

*BulletV*TRUE LOVE (2)
oooook I get it! double limerick story, nice!

*Bullet*FALSE LOVE..."In twain had the swain’s heart been cleft."
triple limerick story? double nice! I'm totally lost on the Twain reference though...

*BulletG*DARWIN IN “THE WET”
why Darwin?...because he's insane?

*BulletB*ALIEN VACATION
hilarious, could also refer to anyone from another state who visits Vegas for the first time....

*BulletR*POLITICAL DISCOURSE "politicians still relish a slur."
too true....

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
208
208
Review of Quiet Time  
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: ugh, another reality I hate to face but it's there, thanks for the reminder

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: scared/timid

*Telephone* Dialogue: heartbreaking

*Suitheart* What I liked: the honesty

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Every muscle in her body tensed as she automatically began to tiptoe around.
I was both annoyed (because I hate this blemish on our society) and impressed that I automatically knew this was a domestic abuse situation just from that line; great job on that

*BulletB*She did have to give Doug credit for that.
interesting view into her psyche, as the reader I say she shouldn't 'give him credit' for anything, but I can also see how she reasons that view

*BulletR*All was silent as a little smile crept onto Jenny’s mouth.
....little confused by the ending...did Doug just kick the ball then go back to bed?

A few parting comments...
ending is unclear...is Jenny happy b/c Doug kicked the ball instead of her? but you don't say that's all he did, he could have kicked the ball on his way to her;
great job of building suspense and emotion!

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
209
209
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: loved it! and can totally relate! My Aunt Patty isn't just a Super Woman in the exercise department, my moms oldest sister knows technology better than I do!

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: assumptive (that a word?) then harsh realizations are sunk in

*Suitheart* What I liked:"For every step she took, I had to take one and a half or two to keep up. ", o this is SO my Aunt Patty, hiLARious;
"The cashier looked at me a little funny as I passed through, "Are you okay?"", chuckled at that;

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Inside my warm jogging suit I could feel the sweat trickling down my back.
since it was an "unseasonably warm November day" would have been funny to see what Aunt Fanny was wearing, like if she was dressed better "as if she somehow knew it would be warmer than usual"

*BulletB*after removing those brand new Nikes. Thin strips of skin hung from the backs of my heels.
o wow, it just got serious, lol, nice reminder: never wear new shoes walking

*BulletG* "Mom, can you get the door?"/Grabbing a paper towel, I dried my hands. "Got it."
what was the purpose of this intro? seems pointless

A few parting comments...
man, i have got to write about my Aunt Patty now, thanks for the prompt *Wink*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
210
210
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: love stories from animal POVs they are always enlightening

*Tiedye4* Characters: Donna,lovely innocent Calico; Bella, the pure white Prima Donna; and mistress

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone:with kitty high on weed I began to worry for both Donna and mistress' well being

*Telephone* Dialogue:“Here Bella, want some weed?”, LMAO mistress just went from 'middle aged animal loving career woman' to 'early 20s blue collar worker' in my mind;

*Suitheart* What I liked:"it tasted better because it was in Donna’s new stainless steel bowl.", ha!;
"Bella loved making that noise, especially in the middle of the night. It made her mistress act crazy,";
"a piece of the prey clenched between her teeth,";

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*when Donna tried to horn in, she growled
when Donna tried to hone in, she growled

*BulletB*That resulted in her mistress calling her the “B” word and shaking a pointed finger at her.
....I assume "the B word" is 'Bella'? if yes, hilarious!

*BulletR*bewildered to know where she had come from.
doesn't quite read right or flow for me

*BulletV* Bella's survival instincts told her Donna was the enemy.
that's interesting, as a reader I wonder, is it her instincts or her personality, because some cats' instinct is to form a pack/relationship with house mates *shrug*

*Bullet*into a defensive ball next to the sugar bowl
another curiousity, is it really a "defensive" ball or just a sleepy/relaxed ball? could Bella merely be perceiving her to be defensive?

*BulletG* like a Jackson Pollock painting
lots of good similies throughout

*BulletB*She surveyed her loosed pearls peppering the parquet.
lucky, I foresaw this going in a completely different fashion, thought mistress might slip and fall on the pearls, hurting herself and thus not being able to care for Bella anymore...like your way better ;-D

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
211
211
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very nice prodigal son story

*Telephone* Dialogue:“If you don’t mind staying in a sixteen-year-old’s room,” good stuff, Dad piled on a lot of guilt/ad nauseum about putting his mother through but in the interest of a short story I get it

*Suitheart* What I liked:the fathers uncontrollable emotion;
"Lots to do in that …Europe… place.” He reached out and gave his sister a playful punch in the leg. ;
“And you’ve always been in my heart, Dad, even when I couldn’t find my way.”

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* He forbade Martha from returning a letter
ugh, just hate when spouses do that; hate it even more when the other one caves

*BulletB* They were the epitome of their father with their golden blonde hair and bright blue eyes.
this made me think that Danny was their dad, would have been nice for her to mention the bro-in-law the child belonged to

*BulletR* clearing dirty dished from the table
clearing dirty dishes from the table

*BulletV* At his insistence, she stopped setting his place five years ago...She busied herself clearing dirty dished from the table, and the untouched setting for Daniel.
two contradictory statements

*Bullet* she turned and hugged her daughter,...Martha whirled around. She dropped a China serving platter.
she was hugging her daughter while holding a platter? maybe she "knocked over a China serving platter"?

*BulletG* “Dan?” His voice cracked as he rushed toward the door.
best conveyance of emotion evar

*BulletB* he ruffled Ben’ curly locks
he ruffled Ben’s curly locks

*BulletR*I brought you all some cool stuff, so let’s get in there and start opening presents!”
curious to know how he knew he had nephews, who's he been in touch with?

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
212
212
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: super....adorable (tired of 'cute')

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: dreadful, then hopeful

*Telephone* Dialogue: “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!” cliche but perfect for this moment!

*Suitheart* What I liked:"Sandy and Marsha were crying in the corner. The drama queens at their best.";
"Larry was dancing like an electrocuted chicken"

A few parting comments...
I get the same anxiety during 'optional' office pizza lunches at my small business, I'll be thinking hopeful thoughts like this entry next time ;-P

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
213
213
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: cute...though odd

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: annoyed then thoughtfully reflective

*Suitheart* What I liked: the incorporation of a carol into a 'normal/everyday' setting

A few parting comments...
it's odd that you only chose one day out of the carol to mention, would have been nice to have cameos from days 1-10 also

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
214
214
Review of The lost child  
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: still with the recurring theme of "CUTE"!

*Suitheart* What I liked: creative use of multiple songs and movies

A few parting comments...
the "Walking in a winter wonderland" sounded a little forced and awkward, would make more sense to mention maybe after the family was reunited, I get where you were going with that though

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
215
215
Review of S. Claus  
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey! Congrats on being mentioned in the Daily Flash!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: awww, heartfelt message from the man himself

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: sad, despondent, resigned

*Suitheart* What I liked: hopefully makes the reader think about how they celebrate with their own family, maybe people will try a little harder to make sure they and theirs appreciate what they have

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer
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Review of The Fun House  
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: I usually hate scary stories but this has a very "are you afraid of the dark?" feel and I loved that series

*Pencil* Storyline: 3 unsuspecting kids make the mistake of their short lives

*Tiedye4* Characters: Kevin, Johnny, and Becky

*Home* Setting: a creepy old amusement park, aptly named the 'un house', no fun to be had here/there

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: childlike mischievousness at first, then pure terror, then sorror over children's disappearance

*Telephone* Dialogue: did good job of getting us invested in the 3 main characters, made it extra sad when they disappeared...

*Suitheart* What I liked: "The un House. I wanted to go home." almost wish you had named the story 'The un House', good stuff;

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* I started having doubts while a strange sensation crept through my body.
I started having doubts as a strange sensation crept through my body.

*BulletB* "Gimme some light," I said after sitting down...After watching Johnny and Becky slide into the landing area,
bit of a time lapse, he sat down but there's no mention he slid down like Johnny and Becky

*BulletR* My feet pumped as if my life depended on my speed.
maybe some reference to the other bikes here, such as "I was in such a frenzy I didn't even check for Johnny and Becky's bikes", but you mention the police/searchers finding the bikes later so perhaps that's sufficient, just seemed like a time lapse/lack in story

A few parting comments...
the picture really adds to the story, I'm glad you didn't have the kids found all bloodied and mangled, better to let us stew/wonder about what happened to them...very creepy

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by A*Monaing*Faith
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
now that i've read all the available chapters I feel equipped to give an overall analysis fo the series. very good, extremely promising; just keep the characters consistent and don't fall into the trap of extraneous detail; at the same time try not to leave too many gaps for assumptions, i.e. it would have been nice to know that Maddocks past life Taylan isn't necessarily the life he had directly before his current life.
really hope you get the muse to continue this series soon!
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for entry "Invalid Entry" 
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: nice ongoing flow of events, finally some physical action between the characters and yay the woman ends up on top! *Bigsmile*

*Pencil* Storyline: Maddock learns that his past life was more angry/dangerous than his current self

*Tiedye4* Characters: Lamere-Lead Operator, found it interesting Wolfe called him by name also;

*Home* Setting:the Reflection Room is mentioned now, like 3 chapters later, would have done well to name it back then, the disjointedness in the mix of new information just puts it in the way and harder to remember;

*Suitheart* What I liked: the fight scene and the detailed seance

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*"We lived and fought together," ..."Now drink your tea," Wolfe said. "We have some real work to do when you're done."
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! that's a HUGE revelation! Maddock's mind should be all over the place with questions and as surprised as I am, but there's no mention of his mental reaction

*BulletB* I walked the Earth with Taylan hundreds of years ago."
soooo then Taylan isn't Maddock's LAST life, but one from many lives ago...ok, so then how are they able to pick and choose which past life they remind him of? and here I thought black goo had a mind of its' own, maybe those in charge in Aaru choose it?

*BulletR*This Soul Shepard is the least skilled
so the Soul Shepard is also the Caretaker? again with the multiple names, how about KISSing it and sticking to just one?

*BulletV*"It has nothing to do with it," Wolfe said.
"It has nothing to do with that," Wolfe said.

*Bullet*Black put her fists in the air and began bouncing on her feet.
if she's about to beat him up please don't make her bounce, the first beat down should be easy, least effort possible expended by the upper hand; save the bouncing for when Maddocks' taking her seriously

*BulletG*Maddock looked up at her from he ground,
Maddock looked up at her from the ground,

*BulletB*but she somehow blocked the attack with her elbows and dug them into his thigh-- it hurt bad.
oooo, nice fight imagery, gotta try that next time I'm sparring *Pthb*

*BulletR*"I'll bring an Ouija transponder
"I'll bring a Ouija transponder

A few parting comments...
you made this chapter back in July?! don't make me your faithful readers wait much longer for a new chapter, begging you!

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very honest and thorough depletion of emotion through writing

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone/Mood: honest and in a way complete, I feel like if I don't know everything you thought and felt at the time I have about 90% of it

*Suitheart* What I liked: that I could relate to the anger at the end

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*we had got back to soon.
we had got back too soon.

*BulletB* I told my dad mom doesn’t seem well
I told my dad "mom doesn’t seem well,"

*BulletR* The worst day of my life, still the memories remain intense.
The worst day of my life, still the memories remain intense.

*BulletV* *stylistically*
as a free style poem I get it because that's all I do with poetry but if you're really interested in making it flow better I suggest making the stanza lines more even, give it a pattern like 4-3-2-3-4 or 4-4-3-2-4-4; I think after you step away from it and come back in a week or few days you'll automatically see some style changes to make, least that's what happens to me

A few parting comments...
lost my dad Super Bowl of 2012 this year and I still avoid thinking about it too much, I appreciate you taking the time to share this with the world, and with me *Smile*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very cute tale, since it's been so long since I actually watched the series it was nice to see what I remembered and which parts were your creation; last line sounds well thought out, nothing complex but a nice relax from the build up

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: dreamy, familial; like that it's set in a bedtime story setting

*Telephone* Dialogue: cute and loving, great to see Samwise in a fatherly position

*Suitheart* What I liked:"Samwise gathered his daughter close, as if she were still the only one." beautiful imagery that evokes emotion

A few parting comments...
good job putting your own writing style to a very...stylistically rich series

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of Kings Kingdom  
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

wooooow, very powerful, leaves me full of wonderings: just what were those things, surely there's magic involved, who killed the king?! but the ending also leaves me feeling satisfied, I still don't feel like I can be 100% sure that Fran is the 'better' sibling but it sounds like Nolan created whatever came to kill him sooo, he probably deserved it

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of Stay  
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: love the prose, very well done, the description throws me off though..."watching her walk away" so then is the consistent "God please" line a spiritual pleading for a woman not to leave? because I read it as a prose/song/prayer to God, I like it both ways, prefer it the way I read it but it's interesting how different the meaning is if you don't read the title and description

*Suitheart* What I liked: the easy flow even though repeated lines tend to get old; "Forever is a day/Longing for tomorrow" best line ever!

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
223
223
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: cute story about how we never truly grow up, old men are just stubborn boys at heart

*Suitheart* What I liked: "for channels, so remote.";
"Joe ran a combat plan;/he soon hijacked TV's remote,/tackling another man." hilarious! can easily picture that

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*but some days, in disjointed ways,/Joe rued his machismo.
this seems a little forced to me, why would he rue his machismo? it works though

A few parting comments...
great idea to write in response to an actual news prompt, very funny; also love that you added a small Ballad definition at the end, for poetry cripples like myself it's great to have such quality information readily available *Smile*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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224
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
this looks like a really cute idea, did you just do it once? I have to ask though, you said this was to earn gps to keep your upgraded membership, how do you earn gp by creating a contest? if anything you're giving a tone of gp away, what did I miss? This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer
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for entry "Invalid Entry" 
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: the black goo is soooo cool!

*Pencil* Storyline: Maddock communes with his former self

*Tiedye4* Characters:Taylan Chagatai, Maddocks' most recent past life

*Home* Setting: the living breathing heart room of the Soul Census

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: reverant, creepy (only because it's new and unknown and uncontrollable), alive

*Telephone* Dialogue: funny as always while still remaining a degree of seriousness, got another good chuckle out at the end, funny how the simplest most cliche of phrases when stated at the right time, never get old (that's what she said)

*Suitheart* What I liked: the in depth description of a scene previously mentioned

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*...holding their bulky-looking rifles across their chest.
...holding their bulky-looking rifles across their chests.

*BulletB*Soul Census Enforcer...Maddock remembered being told that agents would go through a 'baptism'
so he's an "Enforcer" and an "agent"? maybe stick to just one word or the other

*BulletR* Wolfe walked to the entrance wall, and put his had into it as if to leave.
Wolfe walked to the entrance wall, and put his hand into it as if to leave.

*BulletV*Now that he was alone, the thumping and rumbling made him feel uneasy.
nice to see bit of a warm/sensitive side to him, it's ok to be a little scared, makes him nicer and more relatable

*Bullet*slaughtered by the Mongol invaders, only to later join them and pledge his life to the Kipchak Khanate-- also known as The Golden Horde
soooo Taylan joined the Mongol invaders? hate he joined the group that killed his family...but I guess it happens

A few parting comments...
I hope we get to learn about the past lives of others, I wonder if it's common for each life to be more like the most previous life and we slowly evolve/change our habits over time and several lives, if that's the case then it would be interesting to learn about those who drastically change between lives, I bet they're special;
also it'd be great to eventually learn something of Maddocks other past lives, especially the last girl *Pthb*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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