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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ahpinley
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Public Reviews
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Review of Time-Zoned!!  
Review by ahpinley
Rated: E | (3.0)
My desk phone rings then. It's from Bryan in Chicago. I check the time. It was 5:38 PM here in India. I pick up hesitantly. (Rework this part)
I like the teleconference at the end. Good back and forth. Keep writing!
2
2
Review by ahpinley
Rated: E | (3.0)
never to feel pain again
Some of the wording could be reworked to make it flow smoother. Don't stop writing. Keep at it.
Good work!
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