"Crushed" written by left17 in the Romance genre written a long time ago! December the 11th 2008! Which reminds me ~ Happy Anniversary for 12 Years at WDC!
A real teen story - and we've all been there! Never easy - hardly ever fun! Your story was one that any reader would empathise with and it was nicely told.
That might be because my legs were lead, no gold because it's heavier.
Hank: No one will forget his name I respectfully suggest
Hank turned the burner up on the stove. As it began to heat and the coil turned red Hank He... placed a tea kettle on top Hank and... sniffled and snuffed as he rubbed his puffy eyes.
What I loved
As an allergy prone human myself who also has a love - hate relationship with Spring, I thought his burgeoning appreciation of the day - particularly the Bumblebee description, was charming!
"Life Is..." written by Mariposa Created surreal images in my mind as I read through it.
The piece of writing was somewhat philosophical - a little nihilistic - but poetic, none-the-less. It resonated with the truth that life is transient and there are no guarantees for a tomorrow - for any of us.
Although the item was quite short, I thought that it had depth and explored matters we often ignore or take for granted. Quite lovely.
"Crossing Over" by Dave gained momentum as it progressed - I think - from the first line:
Beneath the silver glitter of moonlight gleaming off frost-covered trees, a scream shattered the glazed silence.
Essentially a good story which would suit a Halloween contest and was written around that time, this year. Good tension, engaging central characters and a satisfying story arc. Maybe I have a criminal mind, but I thought the ending was particulary good and constituted a happy ending.
I liked the orginal way the story was set on the page and the last line was a winner! May your winter Christmas stocking be filled with those mmissing items - and something nice!
"The Start" by Newbie HawksgrotherInfinitus has written an engaging free-verse poem on the freedom to choose one's direction in life and not be dictated by social mores.
Within the poem I could sense an adament and dogged determination - let's be clear - conformity requires these same qualities but with a much less satisfying outcome.
The writer is young, I think - with many more miles to travel - it will be a weary but valiant conquistador who meets either Satan or God at the end of his travels - only time will tell.
"Journal Entry #1" by Newbie, Christy Shay has shared her thoughts on beginning to write a novel. She has said that she feels overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start. This ambition is certainly daunting.
The novice journaler ought to be reassured that most stories are a compelling urge. The narrative takes shape as a synopsis -perhaps in the mind - but once the pen hits the paper, the writer is off, like a horse in a race.
I would also like to add a piece of wisdom. If the novice writer is unsure of the reception which their story might get, why not start with a short story instead? Then add to the main body of the story as comments and advice dictate.
"Lost Friends" by Newbie, leelee expresses the loss of two friends who thought that their friendship could never end ~ never be broken. Inspite of an age difference and distance apart - the friendship had endured ... until?
The writer has chosen not to disclose the reason. Perhaps the short vignette is still too painful to spell it out. Never the less, the story will resonate with any reader who has loved - and lost - a great friendship.
No spelling errors and while only short, I thought that the piece had depth and was well expressed.
"Information Warfare" by sindbad is a sincere and impassioned plea to do something substantial about terrorism. His discourse on the problems in the Jammu and Kashmir Union Territory are stated with clarity and cogent intention. The writer expresses himself in an interesting and intelligent manner to engage the reader with a propostion which appears to offer a viable solution. Below, are some excerpts which this reviewer found worthy of inclusion.
For years, media has been telling us that there are 150-200 terrorists in Kashmir.
Every year the security forces kill 150-200 terrorists. Next year, again we have a similar number joining ranks; the throughput in the system remains the same.
... We are killing terrorists, not terrorism.
... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs, who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming...
Quote by: - Teddy Roosevelt
A co-winner at the "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" written by QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham - who is becoming a regular winner! Congratulations Y'know, I thought it was a stunt to get out of paying the bill, but that isn't what it ended up as' - but I laughed at the audacity of the tale! Well told!
I really found this free-verse poem, "Existing" - beautiful. Written by Newbie, Charlie the Human - this item is something for all to enjoy! It is simply an example of genuine experience put down on paper. It's authentic and abundant with the experiences of the writer - and a life-lived!
Won't I leave ink and graphite? And turn to dust and breathe?
Is it not magic to leave remnants of essence lying around so a stranger may know
that this place is not untouched?
"More Than Man" is written by a Newbie to WDC - Fae - and has a genre category of sci-fi/spiritual.
What I liked
I thought the 113 word intro/synopsis was very good. A smooth read without jarring errors of grammar or punctuation.
What I think for ongoing development
Why not try this as a short story of 1000- 2000 first? That way, you garner real interest and can re-upload newer versions as the story is developed? I believe that reviewers would be more inclined to review short stories of 1000 - 1500 words when you put it up in public forums for reviews. Good luck - it's looking interesting!
"[Two Haiku Regarding Obesity]" by Newbie-just-a-few-days-ago - Anusol - technically correct - but I hope the writer is wrong - at least about the first Haiku - I am on a diet until Christmas 5 kg in 5 weeks!
What I liked
The technical correctness of the 2 Haiku's
What I think could improve it
Simply - the appearance on the page.. I'd choose green - centred with a little motif top and bottom. An attractive page can engender more interest in the choice a reviewer makes, I believe - to review a piece of writing.
"Magic of a Spider" by Newbie, Dawn M. McDonald was written just a few days ago and there are just a couple of items in their portfolio...
I hate spiders too... instant death to them if I see them in my house! However, I agree with the writer - there is still a degree of fascination which accompanies the fear... but I would rather see any spider big or small on the internet where I can exit asap
I think this needs some punctuation - either a colon: or semi-colan;
They amaze me some are poisonous and others are harmless
"Going Under" by Newbie, Kay Was quite a clever piece because I believed that the person was self-harming in the bathtub ... but in under 100 words (Flash Fiction) I've come to understand a completely different intention - and I'm glad to say - a better outcome.
not sure about this word
I feel my lungs loose air, it's such a bare to stay afloat
A very imaginative and clever piece of writing - perhaps it could be the beginning of something more?
Well, we in Victoria, Australia know how that feels... online Zoom classes and grocery shopping only (Chemists, Dr's were the exceptions) All other shops Closed! Only allowed to travel 5km from where you lived... only 1 person from the household allowed to shop for the day. It has been like a prison sentence without the crime done! ... Easing up now - slightly but still have to wear masks everywhere.
My son teaches at Uni - and I hear similar stories from him... it must be odd - but yes, its great to be still employed! Have a good week! AJBurchell- Australia OOPS! I just realised that this is a review - Oh well ...so be it! Nice Photo!
A smoothe anecdotal style of writing - it may have been a real event - it has a ring of possibility to it. Technically good with no grammar or spelling errors detected.
A well thought out plot which was carried by a balance of narration and dialogue to deliver the story arc. A good piece of Flash Fiction with a sweet ending.
QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham has written an Excellent piece of Flash Fiction! The art of this genre is to get a superb twist in the tale. Well, that’s the ultimate goal. I can honestly say that she’s nailed it! I’m writing this RV on my iPhone so it may look a little weird...Good pace & no mistakes! Well Done!
"Unmasked" by 🌕 HuntersMoon ~ written a while ago! With exactly 300 words - it's perfect Flash Fiction! Honestly! I didn't see that coming!
The narrative reinforced the compelling accord between writer and reader that the esteemed Zoro was indeed as susceptible to Amore as any other suitor! What a ride! Vive la Zoro!
"Unmasked" by huntersmmoon ~ written a while ago! With exactly 300 words - it's perfect Flash Fiction! Honestly! I didn't see that coming!
The narrative reinforced the compelling accord between writer and reader that the esteemed Zoro was indeed as susceptible to Amore as any other suitor! What a ride! Vive la Zoro!
This item will be a challenge to review however I will do my best to honor the simple Haiku titled: "Goat" by Words Whirling 'Round ~ And Happy 2nd Anniversary at WDC! by the way!
I had to do some revision:So...A Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world. Okay...
I was surprised at the context of the middle line.. a bit of a stretch for unimaginative me - however, it works overall in the poem's technical construction. And yes, it does evoke this lowly beast's premise. I loved the graphic!!
Three main stanzas of free verse to describe an emotional journey, really - is the way that I have interpreted it. An unfolding of quick anger to a diversion which has rescued the character and left them find ...bliss. I thought that was so well developed! Thankyou - this poem was a gem to find!
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A real teen story - and we've all been there! Never easy - hardly ever fun! Your story was one that any reader would empathise with and it was nicely told.
I respectfully suggest 
Well, I just don't know, 
Your Majesty! 
I liked the orginal way the story was set on the page and the last line was a winner! May your winter Christmas stocking be filled with those mmissing items - and something nice! 
Within the poem I could sense an adament and dogged determination - let's be clear - conformity requires these same qualities but with a much less satisfying outcome.
"
What I liked
What I liked
I hate spiders too... instant death to them if I see them in my house! However, I agree with the writer - there is still a degree of fascination which accompanies the fear... but I would rather see any spider big or small on the internet where I can exit asap 
- either a colon: or semi-colan;
not sure about this word 
A smoothe anecdotal style of writing - it may have been a real event - it has a ring of possibility to it. Technically good with no grammar or spelling errors detected.
I went hunting for a funny item from "
"
"
by the way! 
I had to do some revision:So...A Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world. 