This looks like a very promising start. You’ve set the main protagonist up quite well with his intentions. Readers will immediately warm to his sympathetic nature and desire to protect people. They will root for him and want to see him succeed. One topic you could explore for further chapters could be how he reacts if a rescue goes wrong.
Aww that was a very touching sonnet to read. I’m not massive on love and romance but I can respect it for those who are. Your wife is very lucky to have you in her life just as much as you are to be in hers. The words of the sonnet were very strong and had deep meaning so well done
That was an interesting piece to read. You clearly worked hard on the research so I believed you knew what you were saying. I also enjoyed the opening visualisation as it was a good hook to keep reading
That was a very nice story to read. I liked how the focus was on trying to make a young one happy and the family dilemma has a lot of potential. We don’t meet the current queen here but I already hate her and that’s promising. Hopefully we’ll see more of this soon
A very good story. It felt solid and the suspense built up at a decent pace. I also liked some of the lines between the siblings such as their different attitudes to research, that made me smile
My biggest issue was it sometimes felt a bit robotic to read. Try using “I’m sure” instead of “I am sure” for example and it will feeling quicker and more free flowing to the reader. It also felt odd seeing “that lighthouse” all the time. I think it should always be “the lighthouse”
A really well written story. I was almost terrified when I read that the bear was standing up arm’s raised. I did not expect what happened after that. I felt like I was in the story and that’s what makes good stories to me