This reminds me of the poems written by Japanese poets after the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It is beautiful in its hideous irony, stark in its richness. Just fantastically worded.
My only suggestion for possible improvements here would be to play a bit with punctuation. Using hyphens, dashes, colons, semicolons, commas, etc., you can control the way your reader reads this, and thus the way he or she experiences it, allowing for an even more profound impact.
Thank you for posting this. If you don't keep writing with your talent, I'll have to slit my wrists. ;) Really excellent work.