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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/alyennaomemd
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9 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Al Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

Thank you for asking me to review your work, I enjoyed reading it.

Here are a few questions I had about your story:

Did this actually happen to you because I've read many stories that people made up, but this one seemed like it was

something that actually happened to you,

Whatever happened to the U.S Marine Sergeant,

Did you ever see him again,

Where is your son now,

and what does the yellow ribbon represent

And I'm very glad you did not call your teacher that name.

I enjoyed this story because a lesson was learned and I found it to have a father son love inside.

I have some suggestions for your short story: I think you need to be more descriptive about your setting

It's just me but I think the story could have been longer, and lastly I wondered where the teacher and/or rest of the class or

was it just you and your teacher. Again thank you for asking me to review your work and please keep writing more.
2
2
Review of The Kraken  Open in new Window.
Review by Al Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I thought this a very interesting poem that kind of had me on the edge of my seat. I think you did well with

the rhyming. I have a few questions just for you to think about; what made you write a poem about a

kraken, who was the man the kraken pulled under, when the man threw the stone in the water did he want

to have the kraken eat him, and I also wondered where the poem takes place. Thank you for writing this

poem I hope you keep writing more.

3
3
Review by Al Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a funny poem that I enjoyed. I hope you write more. Just a few questions ; was the pit bull actually six feet tall?

What happened to your brother afterwards? Where did the dog come from and why was it in your yard?

Where were your parents at the time and why didn't you go get them first?

Also how old were you and your brother at the time? These are just some things to think on.

I also have a suggestion; I think your poem could have used a time and setting like what time of day was it or others.

Thank you for this entertaining story and again keep writing.
4
4
Review of WDC Birthday Quiz  Open in new Window.
Review by Al Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
It was an interesting quiz
5
5
Review by Al Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your story to be funny and I really did like it. I also liked the part when she tried to put on the sweater, found

that it was too small, and decided to let it become her dogs new sweater. A few questions: 1# How did her sister do

laundry on stormy days if she didn't have a dryer? 2# Did this actually happen to you? 3# Why oh why did the lady

need to where that sweater I mean if it were me I would have just worn either a jacket or a sweatshirt. Other than those

questions I found the interesting, funny comedy I was looking to read.
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6
Review of Disney Mix up  Open in new Window.
Review by Al Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
It was a little short but it made me think for minuet
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7
Review of Bella  Open in new Window.
Review by Al Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This story was really sweet I thought you really portrayed how the puppy felt in that time of first seeing snow.

I wondered why they choose to get another dog and what kind was it? Because all I had to go on was it was a fluffy, black puppy.

What did you mean by Bella could spell? Are you saying she's really smart? I think you did a good job following the prompt.

Im not sure if I liked the way you ended your story. The whole story led up to the new puppy and then you wrote "the truck smells like wet dog. Im okay with that."

this is just me but I just didn't like that part. Thank you for the story I found it was heartwarming.
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