*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/amay5prm/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
Review Requests: ON
1,842 Public Reviews Given
1,844 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 12 13 14 15 ... Next
226
226
Review of Linericks  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Deemac,

I’m honored to read and review 'Linericks' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Comedy Central. Welcome aboard!

Title: What drew me in was your twist on Limericks, mainly because I misread it as Limericks.

Description:This is where people decided if they even want to bother. If they like limericks, I'm sure they'll enter to see what's going on, and what a linerick is. Then just maybe, they'll add a line, and come back to see your item more than a couple of times.

Contents: Your directions are clear and concise. Everything seems to be in order there. The lines and the count at the end impressed me, since I don't recall seeing Linericks on the main page.

Thumbs up, from your notes, the little strike out on blame is just so tongue in cheek, just as a limerick should be.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors in conventions in the directions part of your post.

May the fun continue!

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
227
227
Review of The Sound  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Tom Buck,

I’m honored to read and review The Sound , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Comedy Central. Welcome aboard!

Title: The sound fits, but will it grab someone's attention. I think in conjunction with your description, it may.

Description: This is where people decided if they even want to bother. I think you've enticed the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: This is truly a comedy of errors. I felt so sorry for the kid, bless his heart absolutely nothing went his way. It seems like everything that could go wrong did. Hope he does learn to read his legal papers though.

I really enjoyed your story. It was hilarious.

Thumbs up: A very creative coming of age tale. I'm so glad that when I moved out, my parents kept my stuff at their house! It was a blessing I didn't even realize I had been given.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors, I was too busy saying 'Oh no!' through the whole story. Excellent read.

Aggie? from Greensboro?

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

2012 winter scene

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
228
228
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Rach,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Lid Didn't Match the Pot'

Title: I love the title. It immediately took me back to searching antique markets for the lid to my mom's Jewel Tea Aladdin tea pot.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work. I do love haikus!

Contents: I had another flash of memory while I was reading your haiku. The Disney film- Beauty and the Beast, the character Mrs. Potts and her son chip. She dearly loved her son, and it showed through the whole movie. Interesting that your haiku illicited so many memories in seventeen little syllables.

Thumbs up: 'The bones of his china creaked' what a vivid image

Conventions: There were no errors in convention or syntax. A very nicely constructed haiku.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
229
229
Review of Loose Limmerick  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
Happy WDC Anniversary!
I’m honored to read and review ' Loose Limerick'

Title: I must admit, I love limerick and the title of yours piqued my curiosity.

Description: Interesting description. This is why I dropped by this piece. The title and description have made me a totally curious 'Kat'.

Contents: Humor- check. Wow those puppies, but get to the bar before they get too drunk to really enjoy the view of the gal in the dress. I had a little trouble getting the meter of the next to the last line to work, but it's probably my southern drawl.

Love the humor, form is correct. I hope you'll find your prince.

Thumbs up: I loved the movie 'South Pacific', that song will be playing in my head all afternoon now. lol, I just may go see if I can find the tape/ or DVD.

Conventions: No errors noted.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
230
230
Review of Feline  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Itchy Water~ fictionaandverse ( love the subtitle you've added)

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Feline'

Title: Your title totally fits, since you're talking about cats.

Description: As a part of your formatted folder, I'm sure having the type of poem helps you to find specific format examples for your contest. I miss you contest, by the way. I hope you'll be starting it back up soon.

Contents: I love the simplicity of a cinquain. It was always one of the first poetry forms I taught my students. I loved how we could tie in math and venn diagrams while we brainstormed about our 'noun'.

Thumbs up: 'Loves me no matter what' - aren't animals the absolute best for that unconditional type of love.
What an honor to be an editor's pick in a newsletter!

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors. Love the use of color, reminds me of our neighbor's orange tabby cat.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
231
231
Review of Get Well Too  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Who Me,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Get Well Too'

Title: It's that time of year when bugs are floating around.

Description: How sweet to write something for someone special.

Contents: Given with sound advice in poetic form. Lots of liquids, and lots of rest.


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
232
232
Review of CANT SHED A TEAR!  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Dena,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Can't Shed A Tear'.

Title: I like the title, it brings back memories of my Grandma Phillips. She was a strong woman and I learned a lot by her knee.

Description: Punch up your description. Make it about your piece. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: Your words have so much power, but I'm lost in all of the question marks. I realize that this piece is questioning the moment of time, the starkness of depression. but some places you have question marks are really then end of the first part of the question.

One thing I did was read your words without the pausing for the question marks, just to see where they would fall naturally in speech.

I love the depth of your poem. I really do. It packs the honesty and emotion of how we all question ourselves.

Thumbs up: I've shed too many tears, to the point where I can't cry anymore.... That is such a powerful beginning. It's a place where everyone has been at one point in their life.

Conventions:
First- I have one pet peeve, that's using the lower case i for the pronoun I. All of the years I spent drumming it into first graders heads that they were important enough to be worthy of a capital letter when they were talking about themselves. You, Dena, are worthy of using a capital I, you're special too. So all of the "I" s need to be capitalized.

ive sheded to many tears >>>> I've, shed, too
to the point where i cant cry anymore >>>> I can't (comma at the end of the line)
as much as i try >>>> I
i cant. >>>> I can't
did i run out of tears? >>>> Did (no question mark yet)
in my tear bank?
or is my body going against me? >>>> Or (comma at the end of the line)
giving me signs to stay strong?
to stop crying?
and to not give up?
or is it just me? >>>> Or,
have i cried to much in my "great depression" to the point i can only feel sad? >>>> Have I cried too much .... two capital "I"s

is that what it is? >>>> Is
are my tears limited now? >>>> Are
but now..... >>>>> But for now... (three periods for the ellipse)
i give up trying to cry. >>>>>>> This is a suggestion, you can take if or leave it.... I'd break this last line up "I give up,
skip a line for white space and then the next line... trying to cry. It's just a thought and I'm not
sure where that thought popped in from, so its a if you like the looks, use it, if you don't no harm
no foul. *Wink*



Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
233
233
Review of In The Heart  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sunnystarr,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'In the Heart;

Title: I don't know maybe its my friend's phone call, but when I read 'In the Heart' my mind went, blood... I know that's probably wrong.... So I stopped in to take a peek, trying to get my mind back into a less sarcastic place.

Description: I have the hardest time figuring out what to write for descriptions. Ninety characters seems so brief after you've written something you're proud of. Your description entices the reader to come in and see what you've thought about.

Contents: I love how you've used repetition in your poem. It carries the reader through the points of realization as they are made with ease. Your poem flows like a babbling creek, gently following the current of your words.

Thumbs up: 'Our way of thinking may get foggy' .... Boy, doesn't it as we age!

Conventions: I didn't see any errors, anything that I would add would take away from the flow that you've created.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
234
234
Review of Consequences  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Coda Napeland,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Consequences'

Title: Love the title, it immediately transports me back to working days when natural consequences worked so much better than threats and punishments.

Description: This is where people decided if they even want to bother. You've enticed the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work. They're going to wonder, what on earth did someone do to have such consequences?

Contents: More please.... I think that pretty much sums it up. You've captured my imagination and naughty one, you've left me hanging. My mind's eye is running wild. She stepped out, tell me more. The main character found out, tell me more. This is a cliff hanger and I don't even like heights that much.

Thumbs up for the excellent use of a diabolical twist at the end and stopping.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors in conventions, but I'm far from a comma expert.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
235
235
Review of Haiku Hopes  
for entry "January 1st " 
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Scarlett,

I’m honored to read and review Haiku Hopes, (I have read all five that you've done so far this year).

Title: Your title is delightful, and it's listing in new books is what brought me here. I wanted to find out more.

Description: This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work. I wish you luck with your 'resolution' to write a haiku daily. It's a wonderful thought.

Contents: All five of your haikus are delightfully constructed. You can feel conflict in a couple, not sure what was going on those days but I hope things are better now, and continue to improve. I love the wren vs the wood pigeon, I could just see it in my mind's eye this morning.

I think you've take the appropriate steps to have a year full of haiku delights. I wish you well on this year long journey.

Thumbs up for creating a niche for your writing, opening your eyes to the possibilities of this new year.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors in form.

As a side bar, in this haiku I didn't know the circumstances it gave me pause. I did wonder if dramas could possibly be substituted for traumas... Its your writing, and you have to do what's best. I guess from where I sit, drama would fit my life better than trauma.

(Trauma fits, but I wish you nothing but happiness, peace, and health.... no more traumas for 2013.)

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

2012 winter scene
236
236
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Chemokidraver,

I’m honored to read and review 'My Journey Through Cancer.'

Title: Your title pulled me in... but more about that later.

Description: Short, sweet and to the point. No apologies, this is it. I like the boldness of your description. Your attitude of look if you want, but I'm not looking for a pity party is what I feel when I read your description after reading your piece.

Contents: You've had a hell of a year, and the next 10 will hopefully bring more normalcy and better health to you.

23 years ago, January 6th my son was diagnosed with retinoblastoma. He was four months old, one week from being 5 months old when I was given the news. Shock, I know that feeling, that numbness that protects your psyche. Mike weighed 10 pounds, 6 ounces when he went in for his first surgery. He had three that year. I've often wondered how he made it through- a month premature, 4 surgeries, and his big brother ended up giving him chicken pox that spring. But, he's alive and kicking. He made it through puberty without any related cancer issues that we were warned to watch for.

I wish you well. You've been through hell and come out on the other side. Support those who are going through what you've lived through. You can offer hope like no one else can. Through your writing you've shown your strength. Stay strong and win this fight. You deserve a victory.

Thumbs up for your openness and candor in sharing your journey with cancer.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors in grammar or syntax.

My best wishes to you and your family. May 2013 be a year of wonder and delight, the first of many with good health and much happiness.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

2012 winter scene
237
237
Review of In the Blue  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Taylor Woodard,

I’m honored to read and review 'In the Blue.'

Title: I love the title, its one of the reasons I opened this up.

Description: You've shared yourself with your description. Some people will look and turn away, some will open and read. I hope your readership will appreciate your candor.

Contents: I love how your poem naturally flows and pauses. The repetition of 'In the blue' adds to its charm. From darkness into the light... alright!

Thumbs up: While short, sweet to the point, you've packed a lot emotion into this piece.

Conventions: The only suggestion I would make is to add spaces, separating your stanzas. So you'd have three lines, space, three lines space... I hope that makes sense.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

2012 winter scene
238
238
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi FireFly_2,

I’m honored to read and review 'Resolutions for 2013'

Title: Oh man, I need to ponder my resolutions and see what I can come up with.

Description: You've created a very simple description. Remember that this is where you can entice the readership of WDC to come in and read your works.

Contents: Now I must ponder... is this for just January or the whole year? I tend to think of resolutions as a yearly chore to contemplate and throw away. However, your goals are admirable, and with diligence a feasible/ realistic goal for the month.

Thumbs up: I appreciate the thought and intention to state your goals here for all to see and hold you accountable. Bravo for you!

Conventions: No errors noted.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

2012 winter scene
239
239
Review of Again  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Skylark Haddox ,

I’m honored to read and review 'Again'.

First and foremost, I am so sorry for your loss.

Title: I love how you've woven your title through your poem.

Description: You've enticed the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work, to see what the pain was all about.

Contents: In so few words, you've summed up a situation that shouldn't happen to one so young. At thirteen, I think of all the first kisses never to be lived, the knowledge of true love, the laughter of listening to your own child, leaving a legacy to be remembered by. It hurts to know that a child never got to feel or experience all of these joys of living.

Those left behind, have to pick up the pieces and move on. Honor the lost by living life to its fullest. Loss of a love one is such a hard cross to bear, but it is a part of the cycle of life.

Thumbs up:
"The Things I Never Got To Tell Are Remembered

All Of My Memories Are Treasure"

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
2012 winter scene
240
240
Review of The Sea  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Princess Shemaira,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Sea'.

Title: I opened this piece because I love the ocean and will be visiting the coast very soon.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: You've equated your lover to the sea, but there are places where it seems like the sea is a negative force, but by the end it sounds like the ocean (your beloved) is a great support, under girding you as you float on its currents.

Thumbs up:Your beautiful body is like the ocean to me,>> There is nothing as glorious as the sun rising or setting over the ocean.

Conventions: There are a couple of places where your word choice could be stronger, to help the flow and rhythm of your piece.

Ex.

>>Your sensual eyes are pulling me down to sea>>> I'd suggest >> pulling me to the sea


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*



2012 winter scene
241
241
Review by Amay
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dave L,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Grandpa's Navy Tale'.

Title: This was the big draw for me. While my grandpa's weren't in the service (Night blindness for one, and severe diabetes for the other), my two uncles and one of my son's were all in the Navy and I've always loved listening to their stories.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: Your grandfather must have loved to tell the story. What a perfect example to prove his point. I don't know that I'd ever think that quickly on my feet. I'm sure that admiral let off steam later on, being called on the carpet like that.

Thumbs up for sharing a delightful incident that made me chuckle.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors. I wish we could know what that admiral said out of your grandfather's earshot. Thank goodness the blueprints were fixed.

The Navy does make mistakes though. My not mechanically gifted son, was put in charge of engineering and keeping the engines running on his first duty station. When he told me what he was in charge of, I laughed and told him they had the wrong son. Engines were my youngest's first love. *Wink*


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
242
242
Review of Our Pet Spider  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Pico,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review ' Our Pet Spider'

Title: The title fits well with your story.

Description: You've used your description to entice this reader to come in and take a look.

Contents: What a cute family story. I know that children and pets can be a handful. What am I talking about, children do come in older varieties, don't they! I don't know if I would have been as generous, I really hate bugs.

Thumbs up: A cute story to remember for wedding rehearsal dinners yet to come!

Conventions: I didnt notice anything.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
243
243
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Big Bad Wolf is Merry,

I’m honored to read and review 'Night Before Christmas (puzzle)

Title: I love Clement Moore's poem. So it was a draw for me to come and try.

Description: Your description worked well.

Contents: You had me on 2 down. Man oh man, I was going nuts.

Thumbs up: Very nice crossword puzzle. I normally hate them. My dad was a crossword fiend, I never developed the nack for doing them.

Conventions: Everything is fine

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

Sig made by Sherry B for member to use
244
244
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Oriana,

I’m honored to read and review 'Finding the Right Words'

Title: I realize that your title is your prompt, which is fine. But does your title illuminate your writing?

Description: This is where you sell your work. I know you'll get peeks because you've asked a question.

Contents: You've created two very nice haikus, but I'm not sure that it was what the judge was looking for in the Writer's Cramp. You've created a situation where someone appears to be searching for the right words.

I've been sitting here pondering. You really did capture the spirit of trying to find the right words. I don't think I would have thought of using haiku's to answer that prompt.

Thumbs up: You've made me stop, reread and think about it. Excellent job. I'm kind of curious, though, what were the right words?

Conventions: No errors noted.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
Sig made by Sherry B for member to use
245
245
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi Dukiesgal46 ,

I’m honored to read and review 'Christmas Letter'

Title: Christmas letter or Christmas wish? interesting call.

Description: Interesting that you've asked a question in your description. I wonder how many will give you advise in their comments.

Contents: You've started in poetic form. The rhythmic flow and rhyme were great. Then it stopped, that kind of made me sad. But it isn't about a poem, its about being in a long distance relationship. Pitting the fantasy with the reality of life. It is an interesting quandary you've found yourself in, and I totally understand it.

Thumbs up: 'Christmas magic,mistletoe,
Dreams have moved way too slow' These two lines sum up the difficulties in a long distance relationship, the dreams of being together. The realities of real life in your own corners of the world. It's hard, I know.

Conventions:The last three lines could use some direction for the reader with commas where you want the reader to pause.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
Sig made by Sherry B for member to use
246
246
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Wishing You Happiness!,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Dragonfly and the Ladybug'

Title: Your folder with kiddie stories pulled me in, and I love dragonflies so this was a natural stop for me.

Description: You've enticed the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: What a nice story for youngsters to sit and listen to. I can easily see a teacher using the story with a flannel board (if they even know what that is anymore) and inspiring the children to come up with their own tales of friendship.

Thumbs up: I'm so glad you added pictures to go along with your story. They are beautiful in their own right and add to the story.

Conventions: "Water trickled together, and, like tiny rivers, they moved Dolly's leaf ever so slowly down the little hill to the water's edge."
>>> I think you can move the word AND to form two sentences instead of a long compound sentence.>> Water trickled together like tiny rivers. They moved Dolly's leaf....

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Sig made by Sherry B for member to use
247
247
Review of For Mike  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi WhoMe ,

I’m honored to read and review 'For Mike'

Title: Your title drew me in to your port to sit a while. My youngest son's name is Mike. So call me nosy.

Description: I promise, I won't tell Mike (not that I know who your Mike is, but I won't tell anyway.)

Contents: What a sweet tribute to a friend. It isn't often anymore that you can find someone you can count on. It sounds like you've found the right man for the job at hand. Dedicated, kind and helpful, pretty good qualities in a man.

Thumbs up for honoring someone special. It isn't often you find someone that will take the time to say thank you, let alone write a poem to say thank you. Awesome job.


Conventions: The flow of your poem is nice. It's short, sweet and to the point. I can only hope that one day, someone will be saying the same nice things about my Mike.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

Sig made by Sherry B for member to use



Image #1729366 over display limit. -?-
248
248
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sisco,

I’m honored to read and review 'The Widow and the Poppy.'

Title: I was immediately transported to Flanders Field when I read the title. I've read many picture books to my kids at school about the importance of remembering and honoring our past.

Description: It's so sad that we still have widows and widowers of war, seems like the human race would learn. Maybe one day, we can all hope and dream of a time when mommy's and daddy's don't have to serve and pay that ultimate sacrifice.

Contents: You've captured the sadness and helpless feeling of many war widows. I've seen pictures of men, totally breaking down seeing their child for the first time, or leaving that precious baby to do their duty. I've seen kids with tee shirts welcoming their mom's home that said "It's been 281 days since I hugged my mommy." It breaks my heart that young families have to go through these things.
Knowing that that special someone isn't coming home, or coming home injured physically or mentally is such a life changing event.

Thumbs up: I love the last line ' Her story so sad, the Poppy weeps.' The symbolism and poignant realization hits home.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
Sig made by Sherry B for member to use
249
249
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Seabreeze,

I’m honored to read and review 'November 11, 2011'

Title: Your title called to me, not for the reason you probably think, but my son's birthday is 11/11. He was born on a Sunday afternoon, before 9/11/01, in a time when we didn't realize what was happening in our own back yard.

Description: Perfect dedication and appropriate for your description.

Contents: The same son followed in our family's footsteps and joined the Navy. He served in the JRROTC, the ROTC, then four years of active duty on a frigate out of Mayport, FL. It was hard for him being away, but I'm proud of him for serving. You've captured what I felt every time he came home. Watching the frigate pull into port after being gone for six months. The joy, pride, love that everyone waiting on the docks is what your poem makes me remember. It's wonderful when they come home healthy and happy. My heart bleeds for those whose children aren't as fortunate. There are so many that pay that ultimate sacrifice, too many.

Thumbs up: 'God bless the Veterans and their families." It's hard to believe our country lets our veteran's families struggle so... many on food stamps and require assistance to make ends meet. It's such a disappointment that our leaders don't seem to care about those who give so much.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors, I can't think of anything that would make your piece stronger.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

Sig made by Sherry B for member to use
250
250
Review of Veiled  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Poppy Moss,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Veiled'

Title: Beautiful title with subtle foreshadowing.

Description: Your description should pull people into your port to read your poem.

Contents: What a wonderful poem of deep and abiding love. Memories may fade, but the beauty seen isn't always with the eyes. The beauty within is so much more important.

Thumbs up: "In each loving caress there's tenderness shown.
Love hasn't faded over the years it has grown." This says it all and it is all we can hope for in our loving relationships.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors in flow or conventions. I have no suggestions to make your piece stronger. It touched my heart.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Sig made by Sherry B for member to use
903 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 37 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/amay5prm/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10