damn. that is good. To fall in love with a person you can never have....I can understand the concept. The writing is good. It questions why you are in a relationship with a man you do not have a desire for anymore. It is also a sad thought that the man you are with may love you a lot but no strong feelings for him back.
it is really good and sad. it shows that there are people who treasure their life so much and appreciate all that they have. The saddest line is that the man will never walk his daughters down the aisles
whoa. I was just shocked when it turned out to be that the man was abused. I am so accustomed to hearing about women being hurt. It was well written. Each line reflected a vivid image for me. I liked the line "Jealousy brought your monster to life".
i love the idea of saving an angel! Especially with the different twists and turns of each version, it makes the story of James Walker even more interesting. If Erin was to ever meet the angel, it would be an encounter that one could never forget. Great job with the beginning of the story!
I loved it because it is a dream of happiness, as if nothing could affect you in the dream- no pain, no misery just beautiful romance. You conveyed the feelings well of soft lips and gentle touch
first comment: i do not think incencure is a word... second i can see where you are coming from because at times i do not know a purpose of life either and how to deal with heartbreak. however, i feel the poem is not a poem but a lot of emotions mixed. it seems more like anger with a lot of questions. over dramatic, but it has a chance if you take maybe two of the questions and expand on thoughts rather than make the whole poem questions. only a suggestion
depressing..but i can understand that it is not easy to get through life. When will things get better? I know its hard, but sometimes we get through it.
Something has to go right. It has to.
I like it because it asks where can there be a place of peace. It asks where can happiness be found. I like it because it is a positive question with barely a glimpse of despair and giving up. Makes me wonder: Where do I go to find true love?
gosh....at my worst times it is like the world is closing in on me with no where to go. i felt those words penetrate my skin and felt it where a half of heart lies within me. how can a heart be crushed but beat anyway? i feel that pain you speak of. you are never alone
This story has a lot of details which is a very good thing. It makes the reader understand the characters more. It appeared that Tammy was suffering from hallucinations and experiencing them in real life. I think Tammy should have went to a therapist. I do not understand what went on with the Grandmother. It was as if she cared about Tammy and somehow became experiencing the same images that the child was. I do not like the ending because it is too vague. The house is dark...it is supposed to be suspenseful but it does not say what could have happened. For example, Sue and her grandaughter could have been at a store shopping. It could have happened at night.
Anyways aside from the ending it was good overall - only had a bit of trouble following some of the dialogue.
if you are feeling like crap right now, I am sorry. I liked the theme of the poem. I was not crazy about the wording of it. Just so you know there are other people going through the same thing. I am. lol
I completely agree with you. It makes sense. There are tons of poems or stories that people had written on this site. If you do not respond to someone who took the time to comment, why bother having the account? In my opinion, written pieces are meant to be read. Unless they are extremely personal, it should be open for the world to see. How can one improve on his work if he does not take into account what critics say? However, I disagree with the do not care comment. I think some people either do not know how to respond back or have a really busy life.
This was...no words to describe how this made me feel. It is superbly well written because it relates the feelings of Andrew and the pain he had to go through. Yet, it was so good that I felt like he did. It was terrific and a terrible tragedy. Great Job
What is nice about this is after you read this, you realize how significant words are. It seems to create a beat or rhythm when I read it that made me want to read on. It is as if happiness died in the eyes of sadness.
Good job.
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