|Hi Rhymer of the Rotted Rainbow ,
I am reviewing your item today to provide feedback on your latest "Rising Stars Summer Camp" assignment.
Lilli set you the assignment of writing an essay on Mark Twain, and I provided a lesson on writing essays.
To give you some well-rounded feedback, I will cover both the technical aspect of your essay as well as my own personal opinion on the content of the essay and how you have dealt with the subject matter.
The part of the review dealing with the technical aspect of your essay should be taken in that way. It is all about how you have actually written the essay, and how it matches up with what was discussed in the posted lesson about writing essays. Any feedback in this section will probably seem nitpicky, but it is there to help you the next time you need to write an essay.
Have you written an essay?: As the lesson covered, the idea of an essay is to answer a question, and there should be a clear introduction, a body, and a conclusion. You have achieved this really well
Overall word count: Well done on using most of your full word count.
You may only have 33 words left to use, but due to the low word count this is about 5% of your word count. When writing longer essays, you really shouldn't have 5% of your allotted word count left over as this could indicate that you have missed out some fact or another.
Have you answered a question?: You have set a question to answer, and it is simply stated in the description of your item. I like that you have chosen to focus on one aspect of Twain rather than go with the "write everything possible" approach.
As I discussed in the lesson, you don't always have to present both side of an argument in your essay, and you don't. There is nothing wrong with this approach, especially when the answer to your question is practically a foregone conclusion.
The introduction: You have a clear introduction to your essay, and it provides some context to the question your essay aims to answer.
Your introduction is clear and concise, and it comes in below the 10% of the word count I discussed in the lesson. This is a good approach as it allows you more words to use in the body of your essay.
It may not help much when dealing with low word counts, but when you have word counts in the thousands, saving 2-3% of the word count in the introduction could allow you to discuss another idea in the body of your essay or discuss existing ideas in more depth.
My only issue from a technical standpoint with your introduction is that it does not really provide an introduction to your question. Keep in mind that your introduction still needs to include at least a passing reference to your question, even if you have already stated it in the title or description of your item.
The conclusion: You also have a clear conclusion to your essay. It provides us with a glimpse of Twain's sense of humour, and this is what your essay set out to look at.
The conclusion comes in about 13% of the allotted word count, which is above the 10% discussed in the lesson. Your combined introduction and conclusion also comes in just over the 20% total discussed in the lesson. As I mentioned earlier, when dealing with low word counts it is not much of an issue, but with much larger word counts it can be a problem, especially if it means there is something you had to omit from the body of your essay.
That said, there is nothing really wrong with your conclusion, and including Twain's own words is a nice way to close out your essay.
The body: The body of your essay is well laid out, and you present one point at a time
Completing your thoughts in one argument before moving on to the next helps to provide your essay with the structure it needs.
The body of your essay comes in at about 75% of the word count you used, and there was 33 unused words. You should always try use to all of your available word count when writing an essay.
With a word count of 750, these small percentages one way or the other don't really amount to much, but when you have essays with word counts of 5000 and 10000 and more, these small percentages really can add up.
You start off with some information about Twain's early life. This provides some good context for the later arguments in your essay.
You discuss some of Twain's stories and essays, and how he uses his own brand of humour in them. You present four arguments in support of your essay, and each argument uses roughly the same percentage of the word count.
What did I think of your essay:
Your essay's question and the introduction: I've always liked the humour Twain instils in his stories, and this is an unexpected route you have gone down for your essay. One of my favourites is The Prince and the Pauper, and Twain makes great use of humour in that novel.
The conclusion: Despite some of my nitpicking in the previous sections of this review, I genuinely do love your conclusion.
Using a quote from Twain as part of your conclusion is a nice touch. I'm familiar with the quote, and it really is the perfect quote to use to close out your essay.
The body: I like the way your various arguments smoothly flow from one to the next.
It was nice to see you refer to works of Twain's other than his big four novels to support your arguments.
Suggestions: I don't really have any suggestions aside from you may want to think about including some more quotes in support of your arguments.
Closing remarks: Overall, this is a well-written and well-crafted essay, especially for only being 717 words long. You should be very proud of your essay.
Wishing you all the success in Rising Stars.
Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!
Andy~your friend till the end