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26
26
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: GC | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I had to read this poem a couple of times to get my head round it.

I liked the opening lines as they set up the crux of the poem, and they create a really bad first impression. The first stanza tells us a lot about the host, who is clearly not as consummate as they think they are.

The opening of the second stanza serves as nice metaphor for the whole host/guest relationship. I liked the visual of the still-open front door, and the use of whitespace to separate the word "ajar" further reinforces this visual. The closing of your poem perfectly sums up the narrator's host.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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27
27
Review of Glitter  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Now, those are some deep down Covid crazies *Laugh*

I like the pace and build-up of the story. I also like that you took the prompt and incorporated yourself into the story.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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28
28
Review of Fred  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Another story where computers are taking over lol. I love the idea of this GPS-type system deciding for itself where to take them.

I wonder what a future where Gateway has survived would be like. I can just see all those cow-patch boxes travelling around the galaxy.

Using Fred and George in your story was a nice nod to the Harry Potter series.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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29
29
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Well that was a fun read.

I loved the use of Alice in Wonderland in this story, and the ending was great. I also liked the use of personification of the dishes waiting to be cooked.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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30
30
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


That was hilarious *Laugh*

I love the idea of the animals talking. You have a very clever mouse and rabbit there to outwit all the predators.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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31
31
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I can imagine there are a lot of people out there who are thankful this has been cancelled.

Of course this was a HOOves prompt *Laugh* I love your take on the prompt, and this is one Running I'd love to see.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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32
32
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


And I bet you thought you'd gotten rid of me *Laugh*

This was an enjoyable piece of flash fiction. Nice to see the wife one-up her hubby. I loved the last line, and it gave me a chuckle right before bed.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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33
33
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is definitely a JAFBG kinda poem, and I just love the closing lines *Laugh*

I love the intricacy of your poem, especially given the unusually simple Construct Cup prompt.

I like your use of simile, both in your opening of the fur coat and the visual of the carrot reinforces the "Torment of Tantalus" theme of your poem.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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34
34
Review of Bad Days at Work  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi RadioShea ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I love the message of your senryu. Bad days at work are something that everyone can relate to.

I like the consonance and assonance in your poem as this creates a smooth reading rhythm.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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35
35
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Ravenwand, Rising Star! ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I love this poem, and I love the heart shape you have created.

Your poem shows that it is the small things that matter. I absolutely loved the "You haven't killed the cat yet" line.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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36
36
Review of True Value  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I love the vivid descriptions of each of the treasures your narrator comes across. You make use of visual, olfactory, and tactile senses to enhance your poem. I particularly liked the description of the book as you make use of the three senses in describing it.

I liked the way you wait until right at the end of your poem to reveal the answer to your title, and how you refrain from providing any kind of gaudy description of it.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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37
37
Review of Just Daisy  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I love the personification in this poem. My, my, Daisy really has got some issues, hasn't she.

You have done a great job of bringing the flower market to life, and well done on incorporating so many different flowers into your poem.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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38
38
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


You do a nice job of describing someone who has moved away from home.

The opening stanza talks about the narrator's new life and starting their own family. This nicely contrasts when you describe her original home. I love the idea of nature winning the battle over human intrusion. This reminds of when I visit family back home in the highlands of Scotland.

The closing stanza does a nice job of describing how the narrator gets used to the hustle and bustle.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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39
39
Review of Lunarcy  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I love this poem. It is a great ode to the relationship between the Earth and the moon, and it is filled with some amazing personification. This mirrors Greek mythology both in terms of relationship and the idea of personification where Gaea, the goddess personification of the Earth, is the grandmother of Selene, the goddess personification of the Moon.

The opening stanza is a great description of the moon and its orbit around the Earth. I particularly liked the idea of the moon having skin.

The idea of the barren moon, which truly shows it age, being envious of Earth's beauty is a nice touch and it really enhances the personification in your poem. This contrast between the Earth and Moon continues into the third stanza, where the Moon desires to feel the oceans and rainfall.

I like the closing stanza where the Moon suddenly rethinks its situation. This is a nice turn within the poem.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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40
40
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is a really moving poem.

The opening stanza and start of the second stanza celebrate a life. I love the use of colours throughout, and your choice of cover image, both of which reflect the passion and orientation of the victim.

The volta comes quick and harsh at the end of the second stanza, as the rest of your poem shows the cruelty of the world we live in. The mix of emotions as you close out the poem is brilliantly captured in just a few lines.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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41
41
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is an engaging poem, and it does a great job of describing the situation in the linked article. It's shocking to think that this kind of thing still, allegedly, happens in prisons.

I really like the personification in the first stanza. Although you use a
cliché in this first stanza, it actually fits in really well with your personification

The contrast in the second stanza is a nice reflection of what is probably going through the prisoners' minds. This stanza flows nicely into the final stanza.

Your poem ends with the harsh reminder that, whether these fight clubs actually exist or not, the kangas essentially have complete power and control over the lives of the prisoners.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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42
42
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is a really pretty poem. And E-rated *Shock*

I love the opening stanza. You make good use of simile when describing the unicorn's hair. I also like the use of colour. This must be the first time I've seen amaranth used in a poem. I had to check Google because I didn't realise it was also a colour. I've only knew it was a plant.

The word choice of describing the horn as achromatic, rather than grey or white, is clever as this makes a nice shift from the colourful descriptions in previous stanzas.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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43
43
Review of Silver linings  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This looks suspiciously like a Construct Cup poem. Only Fyn and Ren could come up with a prompt like that.

I love the opening of your poem. It sets the scene for your entire poem.

The second stanza makes excellent use of personification. It conveys so much emotion without needing to show the emotion of your narrator.

The description of the homemade Christmas ornaments is a nice touch, and it gives the reader the necessary context to understand the emotional impact of the broken ornament.

The closing stanza is so heart-warming and reflects the spirit of the season. It is maudlin but also creates a very powerful image of parent and child to close out your poem. It also perfectly fits in with your title.

I was looking for the 10.0 in the dropdown but SM doesn't seem to have created it yet. If this is a Construct Cup poem, it certainly deserves more than a 5.0.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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44
44
Review of Savage Serpent  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I enjoyed this slightly darker look at a dragon, yet still maintaining an ASR rating. This is a nice way of showing that horror elements can be really done well without needing to be overtly graphic in your descriptions.

I particularly loved the contrast of the "chilling eyes" to the heat and fire of your dragon in the opening stanza. This really drew me into your poem, and immediately the reader starts to create an image of a much darker dragon that the more friendly Figment from Disney, or Pete's dragon.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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45
45
Review of Empty Nest  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Well this is a crazy little form *Laugh*

You've done well to meet the requirements, especially the required internal rhyme in each line given how short the lines have to be.

The final line that is supposed to leave the reader "questioning" makes your poem read a little like a haiku or a septolet. It certainly does leave the reader thinking.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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46
46
Review of Dethroned  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Elle - on hiatus ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is dark, though accurate, look at the remains of royalty. I imagine this is what most of the artefacts from the ancient world looked like before being restored.

The stark image created of the crown devoid of its jewels and finery contrasts brilliantly with the imagined splendour of what the kingdom may have looked like at its height.

I absolutely love the link between the cobwebs and the hair of the monarch. This only heightens the starkness of the visual your poem creates.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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47
47
Review of Aye, Aye, Sir  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Well damn, that was just brilliant! I loved reading something a little darker of yours.

At first I thought you were going down a bit of a weird road with A.I doing the same things the wife did, but then out of nowhere there is the shock of A.I. going all Lizzie Borden on Mary.

David did a good job of keeping his wits about himself and came up with a clever plan before he got forty-one.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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48
48
Review of You Win!  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I liked the build-up of your story, and you have come up with a clever concept. I found the dialogue in middle of the story a little odd, but it did its job of progressing the story.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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49
49
Review of Luna  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I like the concept of this short story, though I'm a little surprised that nobody knows what the satellite is programmed to do. I suppose Ralph could be lying to everyone.

You nicely weave the fortune cookie into your story, and it sounds as though it does not bode well for humanity. I also like the way how there is a link between the theme of your story and the name of the dog.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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50
50
Review of Violation  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Well that was a little different.

Using the monitor for the initial communication fits in nicely with the theme of your story, although I'm not sure if this supposed to be an alien thing or a Soviet Union thing. I assume the date refers to the early Explorer satellites.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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