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Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of Black Bag Mystery  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham ,

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A black bag mystery indeed.

That ended not quite where I thought it might. I had the feeling that maybe it was the dogs in the black bags. Was there something poisonous or maybe something alive in that bag? And maybe was this something they did deliberately? Which is Billy's mom wanted rid.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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52
52
Review of Black Bag Mystery  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


A black bag mystery indeed.

That ended not quite where I thought it might. I had the feeling that maybe it was the dogs in the black bags. Was there something poisonous or maybe something alive in that bag? And maybe was this something they did deliberately? Which is Billy's mom wanted rid.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
53
53
Review of Bitter Brews  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This so did not go where I thought it was going. Or did it?

I thought the "bitter" taste might have been due to cyanide or some such. Maybe it was and that explains the real ending?

So complex for only 242 words *Laugh*

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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54
54
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Alzheimer's and senility are hard things to deal with at the best of times, but when its a parent it is so much harder.

One of my great-grandmother's suffered from senility, and she lived for about 25 years with not really knowing who any of the family were or who she was. Like your character, she lived very much in the past. She mostly thought we were living during the Blitz, and could never understand why any of us went out into war-torn London.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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55
55
Review of Tea Shrine  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I wondered all through your story where you were taking the reader.

The ending is really good. I actually think you don't really need the last line. The previous line is just as logical a place to end the story.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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56
56
Review of Dust to Dust  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is a really well written piece of flash fiction.

You walk the reader through Mary's memory, and I love and so appreciate the idea of her memory being kept in a physical box high up on a shelf. This is a clever piece of writing.

The ending is great, and it does a nice job of ending the story at a logical position.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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57
57
Review of Camo  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I have to admit, I had no idea where you were going with this piece of flash fiction.

Where the most of the lines are so short, I wondered at first if this was maybe a poem or poetry prose of some description. The ending is brilliant.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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58
58
Review of Busted  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


OMG that was so hilarious but still really sweet.

You focus completely on the boys to the exclusion of everything else and that really pulls the reader into the scene.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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59
59
Review of It's Classified  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I love this piece of flash fiction. It's not very often I laugh over stories this short, but this had me laughing.

You've managed to write a complete story with a great surprise ending, yet there is enough foreshadowing for the end to still make sense.

I can actually hear the attitude in George's closing line, and that shows the impact these 295 words made.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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60
60
Review of Snow Arrives  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jay O'Toole ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Snow in a southern state *Shock2* I was once in Florida in January, and it was still in the 70s!

I love your use of personification, and the girl making snow angels. I don't think I've ever heard snow described as "ice cream flakes", so kudos on coming up with a unique metaphor.

You've certainly picked a complicated form for this poem, but you've adhered to all of its crazy rules.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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61
61
Review of Tulips  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jay O'Toole ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is a great poem the extols the virtues of spring. I like your use of colour in the first stanza describing the flowers.

The progression of the stanzas to include the bee collecting pollen is a nice touch and adds a splash of quintessential spring to the image the first stanza creates.

Your choice of refrain is both hilarious and oddly genius at the same time. I love it *Laugh*

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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62
62
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jay O'Toole ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is an awesome poem, especially considering the age you were when you wrote it.

The image it conjures of childhood love is one that we can all remember feeling and experiencing. I've never forgotten the first girl I fell so heavily for.

The refrain of "My heart" constantly reinforces the personal experience of the poem, and you have done a great job of capturing the elation and heartbreak.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~hating university


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63
63
Review of Strawberry Smiles  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi K. Ray ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I liked your poem. It's creates a clear and simple image of a child enjoying an ice cream.

The repetition in the second line of each stanza adds to the image. Children quite happily eat ice cream cones without realising where half the ice cream is going.

I also think the title is quite clever as it lends to the visual image created by your poem.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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64
64
Review of L'hiver de Langue  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Cat-Claws is 20 Years Old! ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I love reading seasonal poems, and winter themes are my favourite.

You capture a lot within this short poem, and there are lot of well-used poetic devices.

The s-sound consonance throughout lends to a slow reading cadence, which fits nicely with the idea of the coming cold winter. The imagery of "crystal white ices" and contrasting it to the "dim light" of the Christmas tree does a nice job of empasising the nature aspects of your poem over the holiday aspects, but still allow both to be woven together.

The personification of autumn is used well, and it's nice to see autumn doing something other than bowing out or bowing down to winter.


Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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65
65
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Galyx ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I like the exploration of love in your poem.

You have kept the language of the poem simple, and this allows for a smooth, almost sing-song, reading. You make really good use of partial refrain, and this helps to constantly reinforce the subject of your poem.

I also liked the internal rhyme of "How/Now" and the way you reverse the words in each stanza. This last is a nice touch.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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66
66
Review of I Don't Do Poetry  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Galyx ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I know exactly what you mean. I never did poetry. I was always a short story writer. I never got any of the hidden meanings in poetry. It was only once I actually started writing poetry that I found I really enjoyed it.

Your poem does a great job of highlighting the differences between prose and poetry, while still having a smooth flow and nothing feeling out of place. I also like the way how you progress through each stanza transitioning from a prose writer to a poetry writer.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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67
67
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi GK ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I really liked your poem. The connection and affection we feel for our pets often defies all logic. I couldn't imagine my life without the various pets I've had.

You make good use of metaphor and simile in your poem to create a visual of your cat. Even if I hadn't seen the picture on your profile, it would be easy to see what your cat looks like.

I also love the humour in your closing stanza, and this links backs nicely to the earlier use of metaphor.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~hating university


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68
68
Review of Ghost Hunting  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Schnujo is Late to Lannister ,

I chose to review your item today as it was the lucky recipient of your win from "Invalid Item.

*BulletB* First impressions:

This is a great concept for a ghost story. I particularly liked the way you use modern technology, primarily phone apps, as the main vehicle for the story.

*BulletB* Favourite parts:

You do a great job of keeping the reader engaged, and it's easy to get swept away in the narrative, especially as you essentially only have one character.

The story has a slow build up, which is unusual for a flash piece. Flash fiction usually drops into the story and its action all the way. This slow build up is a nice change and really allows the reader to get into both the story and your character's situation.

The ending is highly suggestive, and I love how it is left unstated. You have done a really good job of linking the ghosts in the story to the ending.

*BulletB* Closing remarks:

The challenge with stand alone flash fiction is giving the reader not only a satisfying sense of completion but ending the story at a logical point that precludes the need to continue the story.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~hating university


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69
69
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Sum1 ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


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I loved this item, and I laughed the whole way through. Both news items were enjoyable, and you've done a great job of flipping the roles.

The idea of the general being more concerned with the safety of his men than the success of military conflicts fits in quite nicely with the modern concept of health and safety gone mad. I can understand why the generals and admirals are not usually on the battleground these days, but I can't get away from the image you've created of the regular soldiers wrapped up in cotton wool with everything being done to keep them out of harms way.

I have to be honest, the flip of the NFL player prepared to risk life and limb for the fans, doesn't really seem too out there to me (being a Brit). I've seen football/soccer games played in extremes of 100F heat with 80% humidity in Brazil, to a snow covered and iced solid ground in Colorado, to a pitch so waterlogged the ball floated in pools. There was even a game played during a gale that sent advertising boards flying around the pitch hitting both players and officials. That said, I still appreciated the satire, and it definitely gave me a chuckle.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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70
70
Review of Dirty Laundry  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Hera ,

*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon *LeafO*


*BulletB* Title:

The title of any item is what draws people. It's like the magic word to open Ali Baba's cave or a locked door that will start you off on an adventure.

Sometimes a title is a direct reference to the content, and other times it has a more tangential connection.

But, whatever you choose as your title, it must grab people's attention. Your title is intriguing, and that is what drew me in.

*BulletB* Poetic techniques:

Any poem requires the poet to dig into a big ole bag of magic tricks to make it work. A poem is after all far more than just a few lines and perhaps a couple of rhymes thrown together.

A poet relies on assonance, consonance, and word choice to help build up a smooth cadence. You make good use of assonance and hard consonant sounds to produce a slow reading speed, which nicely mirrors your narrator's sense of ennui.

Imagery is quintessential to poetry. Unlike in a novel where the writer can spend pages setting a scene (like Stephen King frequently does, or when J K Rowling first described the Great Hall of Hogwarts), a poet has only a few lines.

You set the scene really well. It is easy to visualise the room your narrator is in. We can see the clock with the hands moving, and we can hear the 80s laugh track (and can even visualise our favourite show from back then on the TV). However, you then include "emotions" and "thoughts have been repetitive", but you talk about them in a vague way, lacking the visual punch given to the earlier lines.

You make great use of repetition in your poem. Repetition is used for a multitude of reasons. It provides the individual lines of the poem with a cohesiveness, it keeps the theme or the crux of the poem constantly in the readers mind, and also serves as an echo to help emphasise previous lines.

Your seventh and eighth lines, which are a near repetition of earlier lines, serve to not only reinforce the emptiness of the house, but they literally act as an echo of that emptiness.

I also like the last line being a repeat of the opening line as it creates an envelope effect. This does a great job of bringing the reader back to the start of your poem, and it is also a great way to symbolise the repetitive thoughts of your narrator.

However, I think that you have overused the pronoun "I" in your poem, and it is distracting. In prose, the word "said" is used so often that it is often overlooked by readers as though it is there one minute and then lost within the the text the next minute. This is why authors are advised to always use the word "said" in prose. However, in poetry, we see every single word that is written.

I don't like giving suggestions to authors or poets about changing words or changing half a sentence, as I believe the work belongs to the writer. But just to give you an example of how you could eliminate one of the "I"s: instead of "I watch the clock" you could try "Watching the clock". It would leave the syllable count unaltered, and I don't think it would impact any on the reading cadence of the poem.

*BulletB* Favourite quote:

*ScallopV* I search for feelings full of highs but all I get are deeper downs


Although I can relate to your entire poem, this line exemplifies the past year or so for me. I know what it's like only ever getting those deeper downs and staring at the laundry basket.


Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
71
71
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi PattyPags ,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


I chose to review your item today as I found it on the Read a Newbie page.

*BulletB* Title: Your title tells us exactly what your item is about, but it does what it needs to.

*BulletB* First impression: This gave me a giggle. You put forth a very funny look at the U.S. Senate and lawmaking in general.

*BulletB* General impressions: Oh yes! How simple the world would be if words were spelled how they sounded *Laugh*

I like the light tone of your piece. It feels like a "Six o'clock news" type thing. It flows well, and I like how you have "interviewed" a variety of people, and even included a young boy and a former president.

It feels like a genuine news item as you have provided something of both sides of the argument.

You do need to check the final paragraph though. You have a couple of half-finished sentences. Also you mention "GND" - I'm not sure if this is a real thing or if you are talking about the New Grammar Deal. If it's the later, then you have the abbreviation wrong; it should be NGD, not GND.

*BulletB* Favourite quotes:

*Starfishv* She also advocated for combining both "affect" and "effect" into one single word because no one actually knows the difference between the two.


This line is just brilliant. It perfectly sums up the basis of the entire piece.

*BulletB* Line by line suggestions: You pretty much have your spelling, grammar, and punctuation down pat, but there are a couple of errors that should be picked up on a final readthrough. These are included in the dropnote below. Your original work is in black, specific suggestions are in indigo, and additional notes/explanations for the change are in orange.

Line by line suggestions

*BulletB* Closing remarks:

Overall, it was an enjoyable item, and one I'm glad to have come across.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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72
72
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Marcus Silverman ,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


I chose to review your item today as I found it on the Read a Newbie page.

*BulletB* Title: I like the title. It creates a nice visual of what your satire is all about.

*BulletB* First impression: This had me laughing. You've done a really nice job of what you have set out to do.

*BulletB* General impressions: You open with the stark fact of the crime rate in the U.S., and the shocking amount of money that goes to the penal system. This is the platform that your piece builds on, and it is a clever opening. It kept this reader wanting to read on.

You draw a lot of parallels between prison life and astronaut life, and I like the way how you bring Australia's origins into your piece.

Your item has a smooth flow to it, and it keeps the reader engaged. You move from point to point seamlessly, and you manage to maintain the humorous side all the way through.

*BulletB* Suggestions: N.A.S.A. should be NASA. There are no periods in the spelling of NASA. It is regraded as an acronym, not an initialism, despite the fact that it is made up of the initial letters of the administration. Acronyms can be pronounced as a word, and therefore do not have periods.

You may also want to give some thought to double spacing your paragraphs. It just makes it easier to read. You can do this by editing your item, and scroll down to the Advanced section. You will find a dropdown called Paragraph Spacing.

*BulletB* Closing remarks: Although your piece is all done somewhat tongue in cheek, it could probably get some bureaucrat somewhere thinking about the possibilities.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~hating university


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73
73
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi ♥Hooves♥ ,

I'm here with your "I Write in 2018 review.

I like how your poem is personal. You've taken one small part of your day and wrote a poem centred around it. Feeding our pets is something very personal, and every owner has their own approach and rituals.

The title is clever, and references one of Boo's favourite type of apple. This is a nice way to further personalise the poem.

Your opening line is lovely. The idea of "basset hound days" being the lazy days of summer is a nice tie to the dog days of summer, which are sultry and uncomfortable and where nobody wants to do anything.

Wishing you the best of luck completing I Write 2018.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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74
Review of Guardians  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi StephBee - House Targaryen ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I chose to review your item today as part of my tasks at "Invalid Item.

When someone is browsing through a port, the title is usually the first thing that grabs a reader's attention. I really like your title, as it does a great job of describing angels without immediately giving away what your poem is about.

It invokes the literal idea of guardian angels, but it also alludes to the ideas of angels as guardians of heaven and also guardians against our own human weaknesses (such as temptation or a lack of patience).


I love reading form poetry, and you have done a great job with your kyrielle.

It conforms to all of the requirements of the form, but I think you have made an excellent choice in your refrain. The syllable count in each line is the easy part of writing a kyrielle, but it's the refrain that really sells the poem.

Your refrain not only constantly reinforces the theme of your poem, but it also helps to show the beliefs of the narrator. I particularly enjoyed hearing the repetition of "Angel, Angel" when I read poem aloud.


I love the heavy use of consonance in your poem, but I especially enjoyed the sounds of the unexpected consonance that occurs between the "s" and "z". It creates a smooth reading cadence and adds a melodic undercurrent to your kyrielle.

I like the way how each stanza describes a different aspect of an angel, adding a new layer to the image being created in the reader's mind.

Although the metaphor of a dove as an angel is nothing new, I still liked seeing it. It gives your poem a feeling of familiarity, of something that the reader can connect to. Sometimes using your own metaphor is the way to go, but if the metaphor is so "out there", then you risk losing your reader.

It was a pleasure to read your poem this poem, and I hope you enjoyed your WDC anniversary.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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75
Review of Reading List 2014  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi very thankful ,

I'm reviewing your item as it came up on the read & review.

I love reading member's lists. They allow us to get to know something about the author.

You have read a nice mix of books here, but I've got to admit that I've only heard of about half the books on your list.

I love Stephen King and Edgar Allen Poe. I've read most of King's books, but I still haven't gotten around to reading Black House. Personally, I prefer Poe's poetry to his stories.

I hope you managed to read just as eclectic mixtures of books every year since.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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