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51
51
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Another clever title to set up your story. I'm gonna find one of these soon where the title is absolutely nothing to do with the story, aren't I? *Laugh*

I like the way the story develops, and the reveal at the end was done well.

There is one minor punctuation issue. In the sentence that starts Sam smiled, “Well the comma should be a period.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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52
52
Review of Bike Ride  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


The opening poem does a nice job of setting up your story. I like the idea of not using speech marks in this story. It kind of draws the reader into the story.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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53
53
Review of Mother Goose  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I love the nursery rhyme style of your opening of this short story.

The concept of being chased off or told to go eat something else is a recurrent theme in nursery rhymes and children's stories, and your story does a nice job of mirroring this aspect of tales like the Three Billy Goats Gruff and the Three Little Pigs.

Adding in the bit with the goose fussing over her nest was a nice touch. It adds some sass to her character.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

*Badge3* *Badge* This review is part of "Earn Your Badge!; a forum to post reviews and earn Merit Badges! *Badge* *Badge3*

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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54
54
Review of The Mother Ship  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is a really cool flash piece.

I love the theme of the story. I wonder just how many people prior to John stood staring at the sky. I like that your ending brings us full circle.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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55
55
Review of Bear in the Woods  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Well, this story was a little different. No sign of any hidden clues to look out for, and no unexpected ending. This is just a nice, simple short story.

I love the idea of your narrator and Ursus Americanus just sitting around chatting and sharing string cheese.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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56
56
Review of How Old Are You?  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Did nobody ever tell the little one you never ask Grandma how old she is? I did once, and I got a clip round the ear from my mother *Laugh*

But I loved the way Grandma answered Jamie's question.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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57
57
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This was an interesting short story.

I like the opening, and I can certainly imagine the boys arguing over the source of the rhyme. Little boys are always so sure of everything, even if they have nothing to base their opinion on.

You've also done a nice job with the title. It ties in with the ending, and it give the reader a little clue as to what to expect.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

*Badge3* *Badge* This review is part of "Earn Your Badge!; a forum to post reviews and earn Merit Badges! *Badge* *Badge3*

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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58
58
Review of Project Cana  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This was a clever piece of flash fiction.

You've done a great job with the title, which reveals exactly what the story is about. Though I'd be surprised if many people actually catch on to the meaning behind it.

I liked the slow build up, revealing nothing of the purpose of the machine. And the last line is a nice link back to the inspiration for the story.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

*Badge3* *Badge* This review is part of "Earn Your Badge!; a forum to post reviews and earn Merit Badges! *Badge* *Badge3*

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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59
59
Review of Lucky Find  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is an enjoyable little story with a great surprise ending. I never saw it coming. The concept of the dialogue is interesting, and I wonder of this is what actually happens in real life.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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60
60
Review of Imaginary Friends  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Shaye ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I had a couple of imaginary friends when I was growing up. I used to be convinced that my mum loved my best imaginary friend more than she loved me. So one day I made him get on plane to deepest, darkest Peru and was never seen again *Laugh*

I've heard it said that any child who doesn't have an imaginary friend at some point in their lives lacks an imagination. This was a nice ode to all those imaginary friends who are sadly no longer with us. Or are they? Just because we might not think about them any more, does that mean they are not still there?

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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61
61
Review of I Believe  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I really enjoyed this short ghost story. You have a really funny opening, and I love that. I laughed at the way Billy basically told George to jog on.

I also like the way how you complete the circle by ending your story in the same way you start it. I get the feeling this is what every day at school is like for George.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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62
62
Review of Build the Ark  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is brilliant. It'd score at least 1,000,000 microLenats on the bogosity meter. *Laugh* I wonder how many readers actually realise the bogosity meter is a real thing.

This flash story brings back memories of The Animals Went in Two by Two.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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63
63
Review of Do it Right  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Oh my that was hilarious. I think you included just about every term for a thingamablibbit I've ever heard.

Writing comedy is fairly easy in longer stories, but you had me laughing the whole way through your 297 words.

I love the ending to this flash story. It would have been so easy to ease off the humour, but you keep it going.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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64
64
Review of Rock Seeds  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I remember pet rocks, although they weren't as popular here in England as they were as America. But rock seeds are a new one on me *Laugh*

This is so something I can see a young child doing, and the ending is great. It kinda reminds me of the Day of the Triffids but with rocks.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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65
65
Review of Blending In  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


The proverbial bad penny turns up with another review *Laugh*

I love the way a lot of your flash pieces give away nothing of the ending, and this ending is great. I love the idea of the travel guide type book your character read before leaving home. This is a really nice touch.

Too often I've heard about the importance of foreshadowing to set your reader up so the ending isn't a complete surprise, but I find there really is noting better than an ending that just comes at you and says this is what the story is about.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

*Badge3* *Badge* This review is part of "Earn Your Badge!; a forum to post reviews and earn Merit Badges! *Badge* *Badge3*

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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66
66
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


The title is brilliant and does a great job of setting up the story.

You make a unique use of simile. I don't think I've ever heard of birds being compared to punctuation marks.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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67
67
Review of Black Bag Mystery  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


A black bag mystery indeed.

That ended not quite where I thought it might. I had the feeling that maybe it was the dogs in the black bags. Was there something poisonous or maybe something alive in that bag? And maybe was this something they did deliberately? Which is Billy's mom wanted rid.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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68
68
Review of Black Bag Mystery  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


A black bag mystery indeed.

That ended not quite where I thought it might. I had the feeling that maybe it was the dogs in the black bags. Was there something poisonous or maybe something alive in that bag? And maybe was this something they did deliberately? Which is Billy's mom wanted rid.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann
69
69
Review of Bitter Brews  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This so did not go where I thought it was going. Or did it?

I thought the "bitter" taste might have been due to cyanide or some such. Maybe it was and that explains the real ending?

So complex for only 242 words *Laugh*

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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70
70
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Alzheimer's and senility are hard things to deal with at the best of times, but when its a parent it is so much harder.

One of my great-grandmother's suffered from senility, and she lived for about 25 years with not really knowing who any of the family were or who she was. Like your character, she lived very much in the past. She mostly thought we were living during the Blitz, and could never understand why any of us went out into war-torn London.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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71
71
Review of Tea Shrine  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I wondered all through your story where you were taking the reader.

The ending is really good. I actually think you don't really need the last line. The previous line is just as logical a place to end the story.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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72
72
Review of Dust to Dust  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is a really well written piece of flash fiction.

You walk the reader through Mary's memory, and I love and so appreciate the idea of her memory being kept in a physical box high up on a shelf. This is a clever piece of writing.

The ending is great, and it does a nice job of ending the story at a logical position.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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73
73
Review of Camo  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I have to admit, I had no idea where you were going with this piece of flash fiction.

Where the most of the lines are so short, I wondered at first if this was maybe a poem or poetry prose of some description. The ending is brilliant.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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74
74
Review of Busted  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


OMG that was so hilarious but still really sweet.

You focus completely on the boys to the exclusion of everything else and that really pulls the reader into the scene.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~NaNo'ing


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75
75
Review of It's Classified  
Review by Andy~NaNo'ing
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJean BLOGS November ,

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I love this piece of flash fiction. It's not very often I laugh over stories this short, but this had me laughing.

You've managed to write a complete story with a great surprise ending, yet there is enough foreshadowing for the end to still make sense.

I can actually hear the attitude in George's closing line, and that shows the impact these 295 words made.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Andy~NaNo'ing


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#1300305 by Maryann


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