Hi River  ,
I chose to review your item today as part of my review challenge at the "Invalid Item"  .
Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story. Whatever another person says (especially me) whether positive or negative, is just their opinion. You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.
 Title: The title, whilst apt, doesn't reveal much about what we might be in store for with this piece. I actually like that.
General impressions: The county fair is a much-loved event anywhere in the world. The descriptions of the fair and the events surrounding it were well written. The relationship between mother and daughter was well explored for such a short piece, and I loved the banter between the two of them.
Favourite parts: The sights, sounds, and smells of the fair. The story could be set anywhere, but by including these senses you allow us to see the fair going on around your characters.
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: Your spelling, punctuation and grammar are good for the most part, however there is one recurring issue with each aspect.
Spelling: You have a mix of American English spellings (center, favorite) and UK English spellings (colourful, Mum). You should pick one convention and stick with it.
Grammar: You get your POV mixed up in a few places.
Punctuation: Your punctuation of speech tags.
Speech tags ▼
Speech tags are things like 'he said', 'she said', 'Michael yelled', 'Johnny whispered' etc (i.e. they are something 'tagged' to the speech when you let us know which character is talking). Whenever you use a speech tag, you can only use a comma, question mark, or exclamation mark before the close speech marks, and the first word after the close speech marks always begins with a lowercase letter (except in cases where the first word after the close speech marks is a person's name or 'I' when writing in first person POV).
Line by line suggestions: I have only included grammar and speech tag punctuation suggestions in the dropnote below - you will need to decide for yourself which spelling convention you want to use. Your original work is in black, specific suggestions are in indigo, and additional notes or explanations for the change are in orange.
Line by line suggestions ▼
The County Fair is a something everyone in a small town
The County Fair is something everyone in a small town
You have an extra word here - "a" is not needed.
“I always wait too long before I begin my crochet projects.” She said to Jenny across the table.
“I always wait too long before I begin my crochet projects,” she said to Jenny across the table.
This is a speech tag. You need a comma here.
The next morning when we arrived at the fair
The next morning when they arrived at the fair
You are writing in third person POV. You need to use "they" and not "we" in the narrative (you can however use "we" in your character's speech). You would only use "we" in first person POV narrative.
We toured the cattle barns first.
They toured the cattle barns first.
You are writing in third person POV.
Jenny’s feet were killing her by then, so we decided to have lunch.
Jenny’s feet were killing her by then, so they decided to have lunch.
You are writing in third person POV.
We moved on to the Horse barn.
They moved on to the Horse barn.
You are writing in third person POV.
As we approached the crochet section, Jenny thumped Meredith on the shoulder.
As they approached the crochet section, Jenny thumped Meredith on the shoulder.
You are writing in third person POV.
The petting zoo, not just for children, was one of our favorite stops.
The petting zoo, not just for children, was one of their favorite stops.
You are writing in third person POV. You need to use "their" and not "our" in the narrative (you can however use "our" in your character's speech). You would only use "our" in first person POV narrative.{/
Today will be a record day for attendance, Meredith thought, and the sun was shining, but the humidity had dropped after a huge thunder storm during the night.
'Today will be a record day for attendance,' Meredith thought.
The sun was shining, and the humidity had dropped after a huge thunder storm during the night.
You need to have two separate paragraphs here. Meredith's thought needs to have it's own paragraph (just as if she had spoken aloud).
You also need to join the two parts of the second sentence with "and" and not "but". "But" is used to present contrasting or an exception "It had been humid for the past two days, but it had not rained" ("but" tells us what has not happened); "and" is used to present non-contrasting items "It was sunny and the beach was filled with sunbathers" ("and" tells us what is also happening).
“Mum, you say that every year” Jenny chuckled.
“Mum, you say that every year,” Jenny chuckled.
This is a speech tag. You need a comma here.
Suffolk, Leicester, Cheviots, and Dorsets, were
bleating loudly
For some reason there is a carriage return here instead of a space
“Well, I suppose the judging must be over now.” Jenny ventured.
“Well, I suppose the judging must be over now,” Jenny ventured.
This is a speech tag. You need a comma here.
“I think next year...” she began.
“I think next year–” she began.
You need to use an emdash here and not ellipsis points. Ellipsis points are used for trailing off, an emdash is used to indicate an abrupt cutting off or interruption.
Jenny nodded, “That’s something to think about, might be fun!”.
Jenny nodded. “That’s something to think about, might be fun!”
"Jenny nodded" is what is called an action tag. When you have an action tag associated with speech you can only use an exclamation mark, a question mark, or a period. You also do not need the period at the end because the exclamation mark at the end of the speech replaces the period. {c}
Closing remarks: I enjoyed reading this story. You have done really well on the actual writing front, and you clearly know how to craft a story. Get the speech tags and POV shifts sorted and you'll go far.
Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!
Andy~hating university
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