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116 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Angel
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Heavy hearted, this is such a heartfelt poem. It is well written and well structured. The longer lines give it feeling, while the shorter ones give it impact, especially the repeating lines 'It hurts'.
I found just three very small errors, I think they are typing errors rather than errors in the poem.

'Someone they were to spend life with'
This feels as if it should say 'their life with'
'That one day she will give my the chance'
I think this should have 'me', not 'my'
And there is an extra 'the' in the last long line of the poem.

This is a poem straight from the heart and onto paper. Thank you for sharing this with us. Well done for a brilliant piece of work, from what feels like a very broken place.
Angel



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Randoms by Rach  
for entry "Queen Elizabeth II
Review by Angel
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Choconut, thank you for a heartfelt and beautifully written piece dedicated to this wonderful lady. I am crying with you, sad along with so many. I visited my Mum in her Care Home today, thankfully many in there don't understand what's happened. But a carer said to me, one man did and burst into tears when he heard the news. My mum loved the Queen, and I know she would have been devastated, so I'm glad she isn't aware enough to realise.
I felt the same as I was travelling by train today, as you said, everything was the same, people were chatting, going about their day, but it's not the same. I watched our new King greet his people today, yesterday they were the Queen's people, today they aren't and it seems strange that the change is so immediate. The Standard Flag flew over Buckingham Palace, it never flies at half made because it flies when a Monarch is in residence and we always have a Monarch. It's all so new and so strange. We will have new money, new stamps. And for the first time today, I looked at Charles and was pleased he had Camilla by his side. But the world has just gone on turning when it felt as if it should have paused, just for a moment.
RIP Queen Elizabeth 11


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Angel
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi JCosmos, I am a Christian and I really liked your poem. I have also gone over and read some of your other published poems too. I'm intrigued by the factual aspect to your writing, alongside the Spiritual, as it should be. Faith, for those who have one, should be an integral part of their life, not something to put on show for others. Also I love that you asked the dog if he was God. People think God is so distant that He couldn't show up as a dog, but hey, why not! Great poem.
Angel


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Angel
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Wolfkingdom, I often think about what we pass down to our children, it's a legacy far more important than money, which is what most people think of when they hear the word legacy. But, I think we give away a huge part of who we are, our knowledge, character etc, to our children, and hopefully, as you so eloquently write, it's 'Without asking for any mercy, we continue to pass on our Legacy'. We have to hope the legacy we leave behind is a positive one.
This was a very thought provoking poem, thank you.
Angel


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Remainders  
Review by Angel
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fynwy, I do like the analogy of writing, or not writing, specifically,with the fragile leaves. We expect leaves to be a certain way at a certain time, and the same can be said of our writing. Whethe4 it's other's expectation of when something should be completed, or the pressure we put on ourselves, it can be like trying to force grow plants. It can easily go wrong and all words, like the plant, can just disappear.
I loved your the description of what a hurricane does to leaves, I didn't know that, turning new leaves to skeletons was so powerful. New writing, like new leaves, is fragile, it can so easily be crushed and at times never recover, the author also.
Thank you for this beautiful analogy, it felt so real to me, I could see it all so clearly..

Angel
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Review by Angel
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi JCosmos
Reading your poem I could feel the despair within it, the loss of hope. I live in the UK, we've rarely experienced what you seem to experience on a regular basis. We also say exactly what you cry out in your poem, about the feckless politicians doing nothing at all, or even making it easier for this to reoccur.
Any kind of violence, as you deftly point out, is often because of how people grow up. Some individuals appear to be born evil, but so many are sadly made along their way in life. That sickness is in our land too, they use knives instead of guns. But, it is sad how often we see those soulless eyes in, so often, young people, who either have no hope, or where anger has so devastated them, they can no longer think straight.
Thank you for sharing this, it showed the heart of, I'm sure, so many American people. Well done on being able to put it into words.
Angel


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Home in Your Eyes  
Review by Angel
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Kathie,I was touched by the delicate words of this poem, and what felt to me as one person helping another to repair a damaged soul. The last two lines were especially poignant for me as my sister and I went through the same very damaging experience as children, and then later, still young, both of us faced severe, but different health issues. The last two,lines of your poem reflect the difference between us, she always sees the bad around her, and rarely the good in people, whereas I'm the optimistic one who naturally tries to see the good in everyone. I am, however, very aware this isn't always the case.

The cry you put out in this poem for protection shows the person being written about has been badly hurt and has a very broken spirit. However, the whole thing runs in a positive direction, they've found someone who can help heal this broken soul and hopefully restore some of what's been lost. So beautiful
Angel
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Review of A Family Treasure  
Review by Angel
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Starling, after reading your Romance entry, I thought I'd pop over to read something else you'd written. I was surprised by the difference in this from your other piece, although, the emotion you seem to feel was keenly felt here also. The connections between different members of the family, coming together, held by love. It's a rare thing by far, to find a family gathering like this. I don't know if this is a true story or not, but it felt real.
So, thank you for brightening my day with a gentle tale of hope and love.
Angel
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Review of Autumn's Love  
Review by Angel
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Starling, what an intriguing and well written story, I really want to know where she goes now, and what she does. I was hooked from the start. I loved that it wasn't at all what I expected. Well done, and definitely keep writing.
Angel

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Review of Randoms by Rach  
for entry "Semi-break?
Review by Angel
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It's good to see you looking after yourself, we often spend so much time looking after others, or are busy doing things, we forget to take care of ourselves. We then breakdown, physically, mentally, or both. So, rest well, take things as easy as you can, and enjoy your semi-break. Angel
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Review of Whispers  
Review by Angel
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Winklett, I found your poem in a newsletter and was intrigued by the title. Having been the target on so many occasions of harsh words as far back as when I was in school to times in my adult life. I discovered adults can be no better than children, which I find sad. Your poem reflects this so well. I particularly liked two lines:

Words, just like arrows, cannot be un-done

Whispers unheard can speak louder than words.

But I also like the outright, in your face start to line 6, 'shut up', a complete contrast to the whispers in the title.

Having Adhd and having a son with Add, I know how important a lesson this is to learn, mostly speaking out of turn, or saying what'son your mind with no filter. Most people learn it naturally, others have to learn it in a different, it's a much longer and often more painful journey, but, like in your poem, it is an essential lesson to learn so as not to hurt the feelings of others.
Thank you again for sharing such and important and heartfelt poem. ๐Ÿ˜บ Angel
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Review of The Excrescence  
Review by Angel
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Beholden, I have to say, I do have a bit of a fear of creeping things, roots that grow too fast, ants or any other creature that might crawl by the thousand and invade. I'm not generally scared of spiders unless in a film where lots of them occur at once. Anyway, you get the picture, so, as I was reading your story, you can imagine how creeped out I was feeling at this stuff having just appeared under Harvey's sink. The thought, later of those tendrils spreading so fast and just engulfing him was just a bit too much for me.

In short, a great story, it did exactly what it was meant to do, well, I didn't scream out loud but in my head, definitely.
It was well written and just how I love a short story of this length, it left the rest up to the imagination of the reader. To me it brought up memories of the Triffids along with the Red Weed from War of the Worlds. Thank you formtaking the time to write this, well done. ๐Ÿ˜บ Angel
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Review of Aloneness  
Review by Angel
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Zeke, I do understand how this feels, I like my own company, but so many people don't really get this. I felt the pull in your poem of the world pulling me in, just like you. It's hard for people to comprehend there are people who enjoy being alone. I have to say, I do enjoy the company of some people, but even them, it can only be for a certain length of time as I get people weary. I have two children and now a grandson, I love spending time with them, but still it's only for a limited time. I don't understand people who need the constant contact with others just as much as they don't understand me. Isn't life complicated ๐Ÿ™„. ๐Ÿ˜บ Angel
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for entry "Dissidence
Review by Angel
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like this Hunter's moon. I think it looks great the way you've laid it out. Good luck in the competition.


** Image ID #2149906 Unavailable **

Angel

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for entry "Jesus, Reign.
Review by Angel
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jay, it just goes to show you don't have to have many words to tell a complete life story. Brilliant.


Surprisingly an Owl
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Review by Angel
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Ruwth, for people who've never experienced deliverance ministry done properly it can be a strange thing. I've experienced it several times in my life and I've always come out stronger the other side. I don't claim to completely understand it but I know it works. You've described it so we'll, with two people feeling their way through an experience neither of them are expecting, well done on explaining a very misunderstood part of Church life. Thank you for taking the time to write and for sharing this.
Surprisingly an Owl




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Review by Angel
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Shopgirl, I like this because it gives just enough without giving it all away. I hope you finish the book because I'd like to read it if you do. If you get it published you know where to find me, please let me know. I've enjoyed doing this course alongside you, are you going to do the last part of the course, the Screenplay part. I might redo my first Chapter or try another chapter I haven't written yet. I'm still trying to finish the SP version of Chapter 27, I developed an eye infection and it affected my eyesight so I couldn't look at screens for very long so I'm way behind on this one. Well Done.

Sharon

Surprisingly an Owl







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Review by Angel
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Shopgirl, I'm sure these weeks are getting shorter by the minute lol. I love your synopsis, I will pop along to the vignette later as I have yet another appointment. I am intrigued though, you are very good at hooking me into this story, so well done.

Surprisingly an Owl
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Review by Angel
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Celtic Snow, isn't memory something we take for granted until something reminds us that it is fluid and no matter how hard we try to hold onto things they fade. I love your poem, you describe this so well, even those we love who are no longer with us eventually fade, we don't forget they were there, but their faces or certain things about them. It's heartbreaking and there's nothing we can do. When I was young, about 19 I lost all my short-term memory, I was unable to learn anything new. I had to have brain surgery, it was successful, however, it gave me a deep awareness of my memory and how fragile it is. It's also a powerful thing too, how we can remember things or people by certain things we see or smell, like the Cherry Blossom Tree, it triggers a memory that nothing else can. Such a powerful poem, it touched me because of my own experiences, thank you for sharing this.

Surprisingly an Owl


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Review by Angel
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Shopgirl, I'm loving this story, I'm so intrigued by the subplot that's going on and I'm drawn to Tyler as a CC. I like that you slipped in about him being tongue-tied when around Catriona, a little foreshadowing there perhaps. I actually copied and pasted this bit to put here, not to keep, but to show it had an impact on me 'When he was studying for what he thought would be a teaching career, his professors had told him to be prepared for a lifetime of questions. No student will ever learn if they donโ€™t ask questions. You wonโ€™t always have the answers, but that is fine. There are others who will be glad to tell you what you need to know. It will be up to you to recognize that situation when it arises.' I thought they were such wise words and so useful in our real lives. I often say to people 'There you go you learned something new, it's good to learn something new every day'. Men especially are bad at asking for help and you've portrayed Tyler as this strong and very capable man who becomes introverted and angry because he's found something he can't deal with when the answer was in front of him all the time; ask for help! Men eh lol. I think you nailed this, well done.

Surprisingly an Owl


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Review of PE#3 Shopgirl  
Review by Angel
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Shopgirl, I like yours better than mine especially the last one (no 5.). I struggled with this exercise because there were so many ways to answer it that it bamboozled my brain. You did it well by keeping it short and concise.

Angel
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Review by Angel
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi May Flowers, I'm sorry for the delay in my review but life just got in the way. Firstly, I was intrigued by the book you took the first chapter from so thank you for that, I may well look that one up... I thoroughly enjoyed your take on Kindred's point of view vignettes. I loved the imagery you showed such as ' Fog ghosts danced on the surface of the waters in an unearthly ballet' and the foreshadowing 'You will understand why I chose the code name of "Kindred" when you are in the presence of King Merlin and Queen Millicent." But it was the final statement that he was playing over and over again in his mind. "The future of our two kingdoms hangs in the balance. Do not fail in this quest.".

The story flowed well and matched with the original story also. There were a couple of issues with the tenses in the third vignette but they are easily rectified and I have to say I found that the hardest part, to change the point of view when using dialogue that's already present. I think overall you did an excellent job in showing who Kindred is, well done.


Surprisingly an Owl


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Review by Angel
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fyn, I love this poem, it's a mixture of the facts of the volcanic eruption with the belief system of those who are indigenous to the area. It reminded me of one I wrote about Pompeii. I have a fascination with volcanoes, as you pointed out they are both creative and destructive. The damage they cause and the loss of life are devastating for those who live under their shadow, but without them, we wouldn't have the land we live on. They are the force that builds new land and they attract people from across the world to study them, or just admire the spectacle. Nature at it's most powerful is incredible but more often destructive sadly causing loss of lives and homes.
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Review by Angel
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Magical Joey, my heart went out to you in this poem. I would have thrown my arms around you had you walked through the doors of the Church I attend, as would so many others. How sad that people have become invisible in a place where if Jesus had been there He would have stopped the whole service to talk to people. He would have reached out His hand to all who walked through His door. I pray that if this is your reality that you find a Church where you are welcome just as you are not as people either expect you to be. I have been in this position, I understand and it shouldn't happen, I pray that, as I said, if this is about you personally then my hope is you find somewhere warmer to celebrate Jesus.

I love the poem because it speaks of just how you feel and describes it so well, being that shrinking flower, the odd one out, the unloved, unwanted. The inner turmoil came through clearly in the line 'I cannot fight to put myself at the centre of attention', this because you shouldn't have to fight and the thought of doing that is just too much. Even going through the doors was a battle and it felt lost before it began. Well done for putting this across so clearly.

Surprisingly an Owl






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Review by Angel
In affiliation with Under Construction: MHWA  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Jules, I loved this. I could see all this craziness in my mind at the mall and in cars but you took it to a great new level with Korea, I almost hoped it would work, then remembered it wasn't real. Drat, my imagination ran away with me again. This was a great start to my day, so much fun, thanks for writing it.

Surprisingly an Owl


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