|This is a simple, sweet story and I like the idea of this contest, to include the names of Christmas songs throughout. I want to say, first and foremost, that you did very well putting this story together. I love it.
As I had promised an in-depth critique, here you go:
An hour later, I WONDER AS I WANDER the aisles at We Be Toys, trying to coax Julie into deciding between the doll with the SILVER BELLS and the one with the gold lace, and hoping Matt will pick one of the three trucks in front of him before the store closes, how to give them the news, without them immediately seeing the toys for the bribes they are.
The last clause should be made into separate sentence, such as: I just had to figure out how to give them the news without them immediately seeing the toys for the bribes they are.
important to me, as it was to the kids, maybe more. The first comma is not needed.
Santa Claus!", just as the store's The comma isn't needed here.
snow back in Nebraska, meant that, as Julie put it, it wasn't really winter here. The first comma isn't needed here, but you are correct with the other two.
In unison, they screamed "A WHITE CHRISTMAS!" The first comma is not needed, but there needs to be a comma after screamed.
Both kids started jumping up and down shouting, over and over, "It The comma should be after down, and not shouting.
Good luck in this contest, as you had done very well in my ABC Challenge.