I hope you plan to continue this, I love it and have one word. FANTASTIC! You've certainly done a ton of world building, research and the like. That must have taken ages to do. Are the prince and princess based on Arabic races perhaps? From the way you've described their dress, manner of appearance and speech, influences from Arabic cultures seems rather likely.
I did enjoy the mention of the Titanic, but as an airship. Elisha seems to be rather reluctant to follow in his uncle's footsteps until he catches sight of a kindred spirit in the princess. Plus I find my curiosity has been stirred by the mention of a great Pandemic. If you plan to continue this, then perhaps that can be elaborated on further. I do know that during the time this is set in, the Victorian Era, I think influenza ran rampant, totally decimating the world's population.
Again this is well crafted and please by all means continue.
In my on personal opinion, this article should receive 5 stars from all of us WDC members who review this. When I saw this in the list asking for reviews, I thought why not. I am glad I did read this. I love historical articles and found this one rather interesting. I did know of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, yet was gratified to be reminded of them.
I didn't know the daily life of a Lighthouse Keeper. I learned something today about those who dedicate their lives to these amazing buildings, also save lives by maintaining them. Thanks for uploading this!
Hey this is fantastic! Full of humour and rhythm with your sentences that keep the reader hooked and reading through the whole article. I love the fact you mentioned the Shire, also the holiness of cows in India! That made me laugh out loud. Coffee shops are the way to earn money. I dwell in England and live near a borough known as Bromley. In the high street alone, there are about 4 coffee shops from different coffee store chains. All of them remain in business. Therefore people will always love and have a need for coffee.
I would love to come and visit your shop in the USA, but I don't even have a passport!
Thanks again for the laughs and good luck with your coffee store!
HuntersMoon this is great! I can see the message you've tried to convey here. I'm agreeing with what you've managed to convey in the verses here. When I get to the grey hair stage, with warts, hair in odd places and wrinkles galore, I'm going to grow old DISGRACEFULLY!
One thing though, there seems to be a lot of random characters and numbers here and there.
Now, any vivid hair colour suggestions would be welcome! I don't plan on using hair dye until I reach sixty five though!
What a way to celebrate a birthday! I just wish had found this site in 2000 when I was on the verge of giving up writing altogether. I was 26 back then and full of despair as some of my family teased me rather badly about writing! But I found this site last year and LOVE IT! The birthday celebrations have gone with a bang and I enjoyed what I saw of it. My laptop is being a pain, but hopefully soon it will be fixed and I'll be back online more often!
I can't wait, but will have to, to see what you lot come up with for the 20th birthday celebrations! I hope to have a few novels written by then, published or uploaded here for you all to read! Anyway well done on the events!
I'm giving you five stars for this. You definitely deserve that much. I just wish I could do more than just leave you a review. To me, this short article shows the true nature of friendship that is possible between two living souls. That one person can be there for another, through thick and thin. You show a deep, intuitive understanding of friendship, I am smiling as I write this review. Well done on such a thought provoking item.
This is indeed an excellent item intertwining friendship and love together. It is amazing how stories can put across a message and this one certainly has. Trina seems like a fantastic character with a deep sense of spirituality and compassion for her friend Leah. If more people cared the way she is depicted to, the world would be a much better place.
Well done on such a fine piece of writing. This short non fiction did make me think after I read it.
I completely agree with the quotation penned in the blue script. I work in a very demanding job, serving the general public in a very busy supermarket chain. I often see people coming in, picking up their shopping and generally being rather grumpy. I will try and make them smile. Most of the time it works and they leave the store happier than when they went in.
That fills me with a warm glow when I do that. I felt that way inside after I read this. You've spread happiness to one person as she read this. THANK YOU.
I'm of the generation BEFORE the proper cell phones came out, so I know exactly what you're talking about here! Even the part about the payphone eating your last quarter or here in the UK, your last 20 pence!
But we can learn something as well, with the advent of the modern cell/mobile phone, we don't interact with other people as much as we used to. Perhaps just once in a while, we should put those blasted phones away and do things the 'old way.'
Thanks for the reflection about cell/mobile phones!
I must say, I rather like the magic system in this fantasy world you are creating. So the different colours signify the different branches of magic that are manipulated through the calling of the Fire of Colours.
I haven't seen a system quite like this before, so well done on crafting that. I did spot some mistakes though:
frieghtening - I think you meant to have the word 'frightening' instead.
Also decendents - perhaps meant to be descendants? Since you've got elves in here, I'll try and read through the rest. I'm a sucker for elves.
You're right, this was full of sugar. But I loved it. Now I just need a trip to the dentist after reading this!
Sorry about the last sentence, I couldn't resist that. Limericks are hard to do, so well done on doing 8 of these little buggers! I could clearly see all the imagery you managed to portray in your words, phrases and verses.
Plus your penname made me grin, reminds me of a cartoon called 'Count Duckula,' who was a vamp, a vegetarian too and lived on tomato ketchup. xD
I know exactly how you feel. I'll be coming up to six months on here and I am STILL learning about the functions of the site on a daily basis! I'm even reading through the How To Forums most of the time in order to gain insight on the often mystifying workings of WDC!
I eventually hope to be able to write Satire as well as you one day. My talent for writing is rather abysmal, but with the help of other like minded people here on WDC, I'm sure to improve? Thanks for posting this rather funny take on the first few moments here on WDC! Kind of reminds me of the time I first tried to upload, edit and post a prologue from my first novel!
I'm impressed with this article of poetry. I could see the imagery very clearly as I read through the lines you've created with the power of your imagination. This poem also shows the cycle of nature as well. That is rather amazing. Well done on such an excellent first upload!
Wow this sounds like a novel I'd actually read. Full of comedy, magic, ghosts being a pain in the butt, plus witches in a variety of ages. I was most looking forward to reading about the cantankerous cat Boil, as I have one of my own called Gizmo. I really wanted to enjoy this, but it isn't here! I'll just follow the link and have a good laugh! The synopsis really drew me in!
That is wonderful, to dedicate a novel to a friend that you used to write stories with. I'll be certain to try and do as you ask when reading through the chapters! I just hope your friend Garen reads through this as well. I'm looking forward to going through this and finding out what you've created using the power of your imagination.
I felt like this for over ten years, with family members telling me I was chasing after a dream that would never happen, so I gave up completely. I often got the urge to write, but I quashed it for years.
You should fight to set your inner writer free. One day I just decided to the heck with it and set my inner writer's soul free and began writing again. Best decision I ever made.
I enjoyed the fact that you've realized your inner writer's soul has been there all along! I believe with the experience of family, you are capable of creating amazing pieces of writing!
I hate it when a lot of fireworks go off too. Or I did as a child, being surrounded by neighbours on both sides of my childhood home and the other side of the street. You've described perfectly the way a child felt at the loud bangs that result from fireworks.
I liked the part at the end, where Toby's mum proved to the safe place he could rely on. I've learned that no matter how old you are, mums are always a measure of safety. I know mine was and still is when my epilepsy acts up.
Separation can be hard on both parents and children. I'm not a mum myself, might never be, but I did feel some of what Tara felt when my younger brother left home to work in Dubai for a year. The house did seem to be less lively when he was gone, even quieter than normal. Didn't even think I'd miss heavy music!
Kids do go out on their own, but they are always there, connected by phone or email, especially today. I enjoyed the part where Tara and Brittany texted each other! Guess Tara's husband was being rather crafty in keeping mum and daughter in contact.!
This has potential. The paragraphs could be spaced slightly further apart, for ease of reading for others who read this, but I had no difficulty doing so. Alianna is interesting, a horse/unicorn hybrid. I don't think I've seen such a creature in fantasy literature before.
Alianna seems to be a rather plucky little character. Perhaps her Unicorn heritage is lying dormant or she hasn't awoken to that part of herself yet.
Thanks so much for uploading this. I am a rather new writer who is just learning the basics of writing through practice and reading as much as I can on the subject of authoring novels.
I am far from attempting to pen a query letter, but if I ever reach that point, I'll just follow the advice you've compiled together in this article to hopefully write a good letter. What I most enjoyed about this:
The rather humorous way you've written this, hence the 5 star rating. I'd give more if I could lols.
I've never heard of a vampire story featuring elves before. This alone has gained my interest. As I read through I really couldn't see any errors at all. Apart from a few paragraphs posted together, everything seemed fine. The battle scenes are well crafted and thought out.
Just a few questions:
Are the Attendants warped creations of the Vampires or are they twisted versions of humans or other such mortals altered and forced into servitude by nefarious means?
How did the war with the elves start and the contamination of the lands begin. This has merit and I'll go off to read the rest if I have time today. Thanks for sharing.
This was a totally unexpected bit of fun to come across here on WDC. I just wish as a member I could have had more than one choice of vote. I'm still laughing at the question. But to satisfy curiosity I'd do the following:
1) Invite them in for a coffee and chat.
2) Ask if I could visit their planet.
3) Take them on a tour of my home town.
Thanks for such a well written and well thought out bit of fun for fellow WDC members!
Elmer sounded like he was quite a character. He reminds me of my own cat Gizmo, who is at this very moment curled up in a furry ball right next to my laptop. She is such a bundle of fun who likes to SLEEP on my computer. Did Elmer ever do that lols?
Thanks for sharing with us the memories of your feline companion,
I didn't know what the heck I was letting myself in for when I read this, but I am glad I did! I know this is listed under the Computer section, but perhaps you should add additional tags such as:
Sci Fi and Comedy to this item. I feel this deserves more views than it currently has. I personally feel the rating should be higher than the one I have seen, hence my rating of 5 stars. I've always wanted to write comedy with a touch of science fiction, but your skills in that are much better than mine are!
I especially enjoyed the part as with each generation of robot, the two men weren't satisfied with what they'd produced. I didn't see the end coming and that was a nice funny touch when I got to the end.
Are there any more parts to this, as I feel you could get a novel out of this.
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