Hello I just read your time travel story and it's sensational and I loved every word. It was so engrossing and I was gripped wanting to see what happened to Mia. Loved the twist at the end and grabbed at me wanting more. What great story telling and could be a turned into a novel. You could develop the story and take Mia on a great adventure.
Thanks for sharing and wish I could write as good as you. I look forward to reading your other work. Lee
Wow thanks for sharing your awesome story it was really detailed in describing what was happening and who everyone was and it wasintriguing.i thought the end was such a funny twist. I wish I could write like you, I have writters block. All the best.
Lee G
Morning Tom,
I just read your story, the fun house and I have to say, it's the best piece of work that I have read on here. I stumbled across this and happy I did.
It's brilliant and beautify written. Every word grabbed me by my neck and pulled me in closer. You have written it as if from a childhood experience, like you're describing it from heart.
The story is really gripping,intense, and believable. I was nervous for them all and at the end was hoping Johny and Becky (my two friends names growing up) had been playing tricks and come to Kevin's window that same night with the flash light at their faces laughing.
This story reminded me of a film called the thirteen ghosts but not as blood thirsty. I don't like horror but love suspense and this had suit cases full.
Congratulations on your fantastic work and than you for sharing it. It should definitely be published.
Believe it or not but I had a similar experience in my youth. I have tried to write about it but never finished it. It's about an abandoned farm house, which was round the corner from where I lived and I bet my friends to go in. There was a massive wooden board in front of the door, We moved it and went inside. We ran all over and just looked around. Went up stairs and into the bathroom, I remember feeling stiff with fear and wanted to run down stairs. My friends shouted, this is fun let's go in the cellar, see if they have left any bottles of beer. My legs didn't want to move but I pushed my self and went with them but wanted to go outside. The cellar was round the corner from where we had entered the building.
We all pushed a little door together and without thinking, if it was safe we just went inside. Stood huddled together in a tiny concreate room, with little light. A wave of intense fear rolled around us when we felt cold engulf all around our bodies. My friends and I legged it out the door and ran home, we never went back there.
It felt so real as if a ghost had walked into the room with us. We were petrified and remembered it to this day, which was back in the late 80s heee. The building has been turned into flats now and the farm sold for houses and my wife son and me rented a house five minutes from that same farm house for eight years heeeee.
Thanks again mate and I look forward to reading your other stories.
All the best.
Lee
Thanks for putting on this awesome completion I have loved thinking about all the goals I have not yet accomplished in my life and those attributes of your personality I wish to change or add to. I didn't realise I had so many heee. I hope you like my entry. Thanks and have a incredible new year what ever you do!!!
All the best.
Lee Greatrex
Hello Sandra,
Well that was supper fast, I guess time travel would be eh. It left me hungry to learn what the amulet was and how the story would transpire. The construct of your writing is excellent lovely to read.
Would you be so kind as to read my new story; Quantum Jump and I will send you some points.
Thanks and Merry Christmas and happy new year. x
Lee Greatrex
Wow!!! Loved your story. You brought the reader into it from the off and sounded like the matrix and then headed into the best ghost story I've ever read. It was eerie, dark and vivid. I am excited to read who the girl is and what is happening to Zan. Brilliant and we'll wrote. Thanks for sharing. Lee Greatrex
Well done on a great story and really enjoyed reading every word. I wanted to get to the end to discover where it was leading to. I look forward to reading the rest. Wish I could write like you!!! Keep it up. Thanks for sharing.
Lee Greatrex
beautiful use of words and your imagination know no bounds. I loved reading it and found myself floating off to places you described.
Only thing I found difficult was the punctuation and could of done with some more full stops, but that's only a tiny little thing.
I look forward to reading more of your work. Great work and thanks for sharing.
Lee Greatrex
Hello bricksandsparows, congratulations on your unique and exciting story. It gripped me but found it a limit hard to follow at times, but still a excellent read. Loved the name of the adress that shanna Is escaping to. It leaves you with lots of questions like, how did the moon get busted and people with the what? On their first what? Great and loved it. Where is the story going. Thanks for sharing. Lee Greatrex
EPIC!!! Thanks for sharing this monumental and far reaching story. I felt like I was in the distant future. Most certainly the best live of literature that I have ever read. I just wish I had the gift of story telling that you do. What happened to max? Is there going be a continuation?
All the best.
Lee Greatrex
Great to read something I am passionate about and like a lot of the band's you mentioned, but prefure the type of rock you said you were't going to talk about, metal. Iron maiden, metallica and guns and roses, but as long as it's got guitars, drums and vocals. Thanks for sharing and really well written. Alice Cooper is fantastic in concert and have a tattoo of him on my arm. Keep rocking mate.
Lee Greatrex.
Hello my name is Lee Greatrex and I just read your story. Wow what an exceptional and original story. It kept me on the edge of my seat and not knowing what coming next, just how a story should be. Really great and thank for sharing.
This has to be the best short story that I have ever read. Wow!!!!! Thanks for sharing it, I wanted more by the time that I had reached the conclusion. You are very talented! Awesome. Lee Greatrex
Hello my name is Lee Greatrex and I just read your story and was taken back by its originality. It is brilliantly written and the story got me right from the start, wondering the outcome. A exceptional science fiction story and it is very professional. Well done and I look forward to reading more of your work! If I had more points I would give you a merit badge! And if I were someone who could put your work in print. It would be on the shelves in the morning! Thanks for sharing. I don't like cherries so Brandon would of been safe with me heee. That is my favourite fictional characters name. Lee Greatrex
Hello my name is lee Greatrex and I have just read your ghost story. I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up heee. Wow that was truly a great story and felt like I was in it. You are a very gifted writer and wouldn't be surprized if you didn't have a book on the shelves. Wish I knew your secret for great story telling? Thanks for sharing this with writing.com. I was so shocked of the out come and pleasantly surprised and that's what every person who reads and writer is looking for. A fantastic effort.
Lee
Hello Unique expiration, My name is Lee Greatrex and I have just read your story. WOW!!! It is so gripping and has an edge feel to it. One of my favourite story subjects is dreams and have written my own story called futureal and is about a man trapped in his nightmares and has no idea he is dreaming and think he is a rock star who has lost everything.
I really wish I could write as brilliantly as you and sharp and to the point. If you are not a professional writer you should be. by far the best work I have seen on this web site!!! I have dyslexia but it does not stop me from creating stories, just have difficulty getting them onto paper.
Congratulations this story is faultless and you certainly disserve a merit badge and will give one to you after I have posted this review. Looking forward to reading your review!!! If you could find the time to read my story then I would be very grateful. Thanks for sharing this epic tale. All the best. Lee
Hello Dryhearte,
I have just read your story and wanted to let you know what I thought. I it a clearly written and absorbing, so much so that I didn't realise I was at the bottom of the page and left me wanting more. The only negative and I cant give any because I am dyslexic and everyone is better than me (in everything) is that with so much dialogue Its a little hard to follow. Thanks for sharing and all the best.
Lee Greatrex
Hello Jeff.
My name is Lee Greatrex and I am a new member to this web site and your awesome story is the first I have read and reviewed to please bare with me and I hope that I don't upset you with what I write, but I know I wont. I cant give you a proper review because I am a novice only my opinion on a reader. I am so impressed by your writing skills and wish I could write like you! I wrote a story just uploaded on here that is similar about supper powers and I realised compared to your incredible work I write like a child and is very embarrassing, but I am dyslexic and cant help it. Though I love writing and using my imagination.
I love the character of Nix is gritty and love how all your detail in this gripping story. Its refreshing that its not a clean cut good verses bad like most stories today and they can get boring and I try to put a different angle on mine, but its not that easy eah. I have learnt a lot by reading your work and that is what authors advice is right, to read lots and lots to find your voice and then write. That black page is just scary though. I really enjoyed your work and look forward to reading more. Congratulations and you should be in print! All the best
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