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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/azrael2915
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36 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
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Review of Communication  
Review by azrael2915
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Nice job on the poem. You speak of chose and the other reaction of what we don't take, a double edge blade has a positive and negative reaction on ether side. You should write a story of mirror twins using this poem, who knows you might be able to create an eye opener. No spelling mistakes that I can see.

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Review of Worgen  
Review by azrael2915
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Well now a WOW poem;
You paint the worgen well in a simple way.No spelling errors, and I would like to more WOW stuff.( FOR THE HOARDE!!!)
always write from your heart.

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Review of SUPERNOVA  
Review by azrael2915
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Chapter 1- From what I read the worlds government lost its powers and Earth went into chaos. I like this story and you should continue it. Spelling mistakes;
god is the minor form/ praying to God is the big one from the bible
earth big E, planet name.
sun big S, name of a star
Chapter 2- Who doesn't snap at times pity the bell got in the way. Chris is a lucky child because he gets to see where his dad works. It's not everyday someone finds a M-class planet, spelling mistakes;
belled- bell
run spell check, otherwise this can become a good book. Sorry if it seems like i'm an english teacher.
always write from your heart.

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Review by azrael2915
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Part 1- Great job painting the past scene and raw fear of a nightmare. Even if the storm was coming she knew to run from a wild water elemental, I love the suspense. The destruction of the home her family is in can be describe, as the wood splinters and flies as the force of the water hits it, giving an image of the wave's power. no spelling errors for me to note.
Part 2- nice job on the 6 year time change with her, in a world you describe as unstable. What are the Elders waiting for? and what holds her to that village? No spelling mistakes seen, and the main thing you have going here can be called dark.
write from your heart.

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Review of The Reaper's Dare  
Review by azrael2915
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
This is a good poem of what is mankind's short lived life. you paint the picture well: like a cat toying with a mouse. So does death tease us and challenge our being, no spelling mistakes that i see and if this is the path you choose I suggest reading Edger Allen Poe and others of his dark realm of poems and short stories.
always write from your heart.

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Review of The Raven  
Review by azrael2915
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Ah the raven a bird black as night, good poetry ,( question is where are the periods and commas?) You have set a beautiful stage and your words speak the fears of man kind, keep moving forward with this and always write from your heart. I would like to see more, I suggest reading Edger Allen Poe cawed the raven nevermore nevermore. He is one of the dark masters when it comes to setting a stage.


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Review by azrael2915
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Great setting and plot, good opening (how do you get the dialog to work?). The DAB Cortex tech is a something the can turn to their advantage, with those egos it can be used to control the mass. To indent a paragraph try hitting the Tab button, as your story continues I suggest you add location for where the characters are meeting or going. All and all your doing good so far, if you can I suggest Microsoft Office/Word.
Write from your heart and always remember to be honest to yourself and others.

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Review of Prison - Prolouge  
Review by azrael2915
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Beautiful work and so far good start of a dark story. You describe the scene very well, and the view off the cliff must be a sight.

1) paragraghs 1 & 2,

You have no spelling errers here and I would say you need to describe the city a little more. Like any bridges, guards on payroll, and what does the streets look like?.

2) paragraghs 3 & 4, no spelling mistakes and I got a few questions. What does the palace look like?, are there any guards with the queen?, and how tall is the wall?

3) paragraghs 5 & 6, no spelling mistakes, does he have anything on him and what was taken?, what was the first thing he saw going into the city as the gates closed?

Please do continue, hope these suggestions and questions help.

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Review by azrael2915
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Very nice, this seems like you know something I don't.You got a good plot and sub-plot with your characters,continue the story.If you need help, go to {item:1760720] and leave a post.My {item:1756410} needs work and clean up.I'm also stuck in chapter one, so you can see what I started.The first link is my call for help, but help is a two way street.
You have been reviewed by a CSFSElf Raid scout.
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Review of untitled  
Review by azrael2915
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Let me start with the fact that this is a nice point of view.Well said well put, but lets see to the title:
Is this a dream state or nightmare?
Walking thru life blind or wide eyed?
answer these and then respond at [item:1760720} and Ican help you with a few titles to choose from.If you need advice go to "Invalid Item
Yuo have been ambushed and reviewed by an elven scout, here's celebrating you.
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Review of HATE  
Review by azrael2915
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hate:how much you dislike someone, is an intresting point of view.I like the fact that it shows how that poetry can come from even your deepest emotions and feelings.Just don't let it sit there and rot from the inside/out.Keep doing this and see what kind of portfolio you can build.Look at Edger Allon Poe:The Raven; it's filled with emotion.You could learn alot from him.(Cawed the raven:never more,never more.)
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Review by azrael2915
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
You got a good start here.The plot looks fairly set up, now work with your characters and see where it takes you. Look at my Zeglar, it is just starting and my characters speak for themselves. Listen to your characters and see their world, and by doing so you will be able to create a full world of epic adventures. See you around the hall.
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Review by azrael2915
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
You are headed in the right dirction of a great battle.One of strength, and one of agility fighting one another for place.Nice touch with the age difference and weapon choose.If the man had lived would he lived in peace with the figure?The figure a young druid or mage?Love To see more.
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for entry "I Like to Drink.
Review by azrael2915
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Drinking can be a problem if you let it.Do it what your doing now, share it thru your writing.If can be read about i can be shared.I know its difficult to overcome small to large problems and it will be awarding in the end.So don't give up.
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Review of Prologue  
Review by azrael2915
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Good start shadow mancer,if I were you I would pick one of his girls.I know evil thought but what would you do?keep going with this piece.This could become epic as the Shannara series.
1)You should think of a name for this story

2)try listining to your characters it helps in development.keep work at your goal.
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Review of The Dragon Rises  
Review by azrael2915
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is a very intresting form you choose. I noticed you know something about dragon's breath, one of their deadly weapons. You mention time and the dragon compared to the evil winds,you know this could inspire more people than you might think? I look foward to reading the others on your list. Keep going with it. (Can't find anything wrong.)
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Review by azrael2915
Rated: E | (2.0)
Thnk you sis, I can see Know that this is two jumpy and needs major work. I am working on the new form with new eyes. Iwill start with the prolog and work from there. keep up the good job.
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