(Please note the review is purely my personal opinion, feel free to ignore if you do not agree with any of the points)
The story has a nice plot, about the brothers misunderstanding sister's boyfriend and injuring him badly. But I felt the story ended rather abruptly with no conclusion.
Points like , What was the attack for? Why was Nicolas misunderstood? Do Nicolas and Ariel get back together again ?, seem to have been left to the reader's imagination.
A few suggestions :
Trevor approached my left as Anthony ran to my right. : Trevor approached me from as Anthony came towards my right
Being larger than he is, I jerked back releasing his hold on my shirt : Being larger than him, I jerked back releasing his hold on my shirt
that was something nothing could beat, especially another woman: Try to rephrase this .
When she left the room I looked around, slightly moving : When she left the room I looked around, moving slightly
I couldn't believe what happened tonight: I couldn't believe what had happened
Despite all that has happened, I was happy to see her : Despite all that had happened, I was happy to see her
I think the story has the potential to become much better with a little more work.
Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.