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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ba_satish
Review Requests: ON
139 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Blue Surface  
Review by bas
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi

That is a well written poem for the image prompt. Liked the part where you mentioned hiding things underneath, it so true for such an image we never know what is it hiding.

Enjoyed reading the item.
Thanks for sharing it.

bas


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of High Anxiety  
Review by bas
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi

That is well written story, with the good use of the prompt. Heights sure can be scary and you
surely have put it well.

thanks for sharing the item.

bas


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Dear Me  
Review by bas
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
hi

Great to read your letter to yourself. Its really nice to see you have so many positive goals for the year. Finding the right job sure takes effort, all the best for that and in the crazy world today, fitness is probably the most ignored asset so its really nice to see that too on your to do list for the year.

Have a great year ahead,and thanks for sharing it.
satish


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
for entry "Homeless...
Review by bas
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi,

It is a nice poem,possibly about a person, well to do at some point in her life but has lost everything now.
Just wonder how many of the older people in the world end up like this, ignored by their loved ones.

Thanks for sharing the item
bas


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by bas
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi

It was really nice to read how strongly you feel about dance,its really nice to have such a strong connection. Just two suggestions

tap lessons. Very popular in the 40s. .... may be a , would make it better tap lessons,very popular in the 40s.
topped in at a nice bar ..may be would sound better with ..stepped into a nice bar...

Thanks for sharing it, enjoyed reading it.
bas


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review by bas
In affiliation with Smile~Worldwide  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi

The feedback is only my opinion, ignore anything that you don't agree with .

Story: The same event narrated in the versions of two people , and each having a small bit of mystery and suspense. Found it very interesting way of putting it.

Likes : The twist in the end of him imagining his daughter was very well put across. The narration keeps the mystery going till the end .

Suggestions : A few small misses

I shut my eyes again hoping this was a bad dream. : The word it is missing

This sentence can be phrased better i think may be a comma or adding a few more words after reports :
The doctor didn't take his eyes off the reports when he finally

Thanks for sharing the item
Satish






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review by bas
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi

Please note that the review is only my personal opinion, ignore any of the comments you don't agree with

Story: For a flash fiction ,it was a well written story with a proper ending and beginning.

Likes : Liked the little twist in the ending

Suggestions : " it fit 3 cars" can be changed to 3 cars can fit in it

Thanks for sharing the story


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review by bas
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi,

That is interesting tale about a small incident cause of his medical condition.The build up to the climax is nice and the story wraps up well at the end.

Thanks for sharing the item.

satish
9
9
Review by bas
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi

It is very well written tale, describing the helplessness we feel when we can do nothing to help some one we love so much. The emotions are brought out well.

Enjoyed reading it,thanks for sharing it.
bas
10
10
Review by bas
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi

That is a well written poem for the prompt. Though its not scary, but does bring out the essence of prompt well.
enjoyed reading it, thanks for sharing

bas
11
11
Review of A Pelican Crossed  
Review by bas
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi

The review is my personal opinion, please ignore any thing you do not agree with,

Poem : The poem descibes the enoucnter of the main character of the poem with a bunch of wild Pelicans, which end shooting him down.

Likes: The poem has a nice rhytm and the humour in it makes it a good read. The way the pelicans are descibed is nice.

Suggestions: I am no poet myself, I don't think I can suggest any thing from myside.

Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.

bas


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review by bas
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi

The review is only my personal opinion, please ignore any thing that you do not agree with.

Summary: Story of a couple and a nurse who is hired to take care of the pregnant wife.

Likes: The character of the wife,Miranda, has been brought out very well. Her emotions have been described well. The story is realistic and
the reader can relate to it as the situation is that has been described could occur with any one.

Suggestions:

what has Derrick agreed too : too needs to be changed to "to"

move you their today : Word "their" needs to be changed to there.


The story ends with a kind of surrender by the wife to the situation, nothing wrong with it but some how I felt may be we could have had a different ending, But that is only my opinion.

Enjoyed reading the story, thanks for sharing it

bas


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review by bas
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi

The review is only my personal opinion, please ignore if you do not agree with any thing.

Summary: A story of a prisonare waiting to be hanged in converstation with the sheriff.
Likes : That is very well written and beuatiful use of the prompt. The slight mystery keeps the reader interested till the end to find out what are the two dicussing about and there is also a touch of humour too.

Suggestions: None.

Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.

bas
14
14
Review by bas
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi

The review is only my personal opinion, please ignore any thing that you do not agree with.

Summary: A story of a day of shopping of an old mother and middle aged daughter, who loves her mom but not her shopping habits.

Likes: The story start with a good note and promise. The feelings of the daughter are echoed by a lot of people and it can be connected to.
The shopping details are describe well.

Suggestions:

"You're a real creep" Could be changed to "You're real creep"
pushed me out the door. Could be changed to pushed me out of the door.

The story cna be better if the wal mat event could be replaced by some thing more emotional or adventureous.


Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.
bas


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review by bas
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi

The review is only my personal opinion, please ignore any thing that you do not agree with.

Story: About a animal recuer, who loves his job and enjoys it,

Overall feel : The story had very wel bought out the feel of the character for the animals and his love for his job. The story portrays the many
difficulties that he encounters maintaing the animals but never does he complain about it . Clearly showing his love for the animals.

Likes : The description of the relationship between the keeper and the crocodile has been portrayes very well. The aligators reactions at various situations have been wonderfully described giving a vivid picture to the reader of what is happening.

Dislikes: None. It is complete story making use of the prompt very well.

Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.

bas


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Marching Orders  
Review by bas
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi

The review is my personal opnion, please ignore any thing that do not agree with.

Summary : A short peom on marching orders given to a soldier.

Overall feel: Though short, the poem is able to convey the confused feeling of the soldier.

The poem sure has potential to make it into a bigger even more powerful poem.

Thanks for sharing the item.

bas


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of Voices  
Review by bas
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi

That is a well written story with the given words and word limit.

A few suggestions :

He decided it must have been both : He decided it must be both

Closer than he would like it to be: Closer then he would have liked it to be

At least he thought so. : At least he had thought so.

Please note the review is only my personal opinion, feel free to ignore it if you do not agree.

Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.

*CupcakeB* *CupcakeB* *CupcakeB* *CupcakeB* *CupcakeB* *CupcakeB*

TEAM INDIA

*CupcakeB* *CupcakeB* *CupcakeB* *CupcakeB* *CupcakeB* *CupcakeB*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review by bas
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi

A very well written story and fits the prompt perfectly.

The story sure drives home the point that if power is misused, how common people suffer and when the same power is put to good use, how it can save lives.

Just one typo

him voice so low nobody could hear what he was saying : his voice so low nobody could hear what he was saying


Enjoyed reading the story, thanks for sharing it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review by bas
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi

The story has very nice imagination and the characters are well described.
Loved the line "so he thought in his feeble porcelain mind." *Smile*

Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of Don't Tell  
Review by bas
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi

(Please note the review is purely my personal opinion, feel free to ignore if you do not agree with any of the points)

The story has a nice plot, about the brothers misunderstanding sister's boyfriend and injuring him badly. But I felt the story ended rather abruptly with no conclusion.
Points like , What was the attack for? Why was Nicolas misunderstood? Do Nicolas and Ariel get back together again ?, seem to have been left to the reader's imagination.

A few suggestions :

Trevor approached my left as Anthony ran to my right. : Trevor approached me from as Anthony came towards my right

Being larger than he is, I jerked back releasing his hold on my shirt : Being larger than him, I jerked back releasing his hold on my shirt

that was something nothing could beat, especially another woman: Try to rephrase this .

When she left the room I looked around, slightly moving : When she left the room I looked around, moving slightly

I couldn't believe what happened tonight: I couldn't believe what had happened

Despite all that has happened, I was happy to see her : Despite all that had happened, I was happy to see her


I think the story has the potential to become much better with a little more work.

Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review by bas
Rated: E | (4.5)
hi,

That is Beautifully written essay. Though I do not have any personal experience on becoming a grandparent , I could relate to your narration easily.
The flow of the essay is good and keeps the interest of the reader.

Personally I think every stage of the life has its own share of fun and enjoyment and if we can realize that, the changes could be easier to handle

Enjoyed reading the item, thanks for sharing it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review by bas
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi

That is a nice romantic story. The girl's feelings are well described, and its easy for the reader to relate to her.
The ending is nice too, with a positive note for both the guy and the girl.
Just one typo:
unwinding the soft grey : There is a huge space between the words "the" and "soft" .


Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Sunset  
Review by bas
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please note that the review is my personal opinion and you can choose to ignore any thing you do not agree with

Story : A well written story about a guy describing his feelings that he never revealed to his love. The emotions are brought out nicely.

Characters : The character is depicted very well and very believable

Suggestions : I felt the story leaves a lot to the imagination. After building up so much of emotions of the guy regretting not revealing his feelings to her the story does not give why he could not reveal his feelings, why was it their last meeting? Kind of leaves the reader in a blind spot.

Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.
24
24
Review by bas
Rated: E | (5.0)
Please note that the review is my personal opinion and you can choose to ignore any thing you do not agree with

Story :: Very well written, the point of view of a wooden log from birth till he is used as a cross to crucify the lord himself. Keeps the reader interested all along.

Characters : The way wood narrates the story makes it very interesting, always sticking to the characters of the wood.

Suggestions : Every thing looks nice *Smile*

Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.
25
25
Review by bas
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please note that the review is my personal opinion and you can choose to ignore any thing you do not agree with

Story : A nice story with a very interesting plot.Keeps the reader interested all along.

Characters : The characters are well created and can be related to.

Suggestions : A few errors that I came across

fence the separated our : fence that separated our

listened to my : listened to me


Thanks for sharing the item, enjoyed reading it.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ba_satish