Hi Igor, I just happened to come across The calm Before The Chaos. Are you sure you didn't write this about me. Are you a spy. I am an insomniac. It is currently 4:56 am. and I am still wide awake. I average about 4 hrs sleep each night, or morning. I get a bad reaction from any kind of nighttime medication, so no sleeping pills for me. Maybe I should change my name to Mary. Then I could say I was your inspiration. LOL Thanks for the great read. Ginger
Hi Axton,This is quite an interesting poem. As I started reading all I could think of was Dr Seuss. Are you his clone?
Your rhyming was great, I just deny it.
Maybe some day, I just might try it.
As I sit in my chair, with a light over head.
Or reading your poem, while laying in bed.
The meter was good, and easy to read.
That little boy, should have done a good deed.
I am not a very good Dr Seuss. But I did enjoy reading your poem.
Hi Naomi, I have just read 'In My Aloneness', I live alone all the time, except when friends or family visit. I go out with friends twice a week. Family I see if I am lucky, once a year, we live in different states. My husband died 12 years ago.
I have plenty of time on my hand to do all that you have mentioned. I have noticed several things that caught my eye that could use some minor improvement that are easily fixed with you just rereading it.
I am a terrible typist. I type with two fingers, and I still constantly hit the wrong keys. I can reread something ten times and still find something I did wrong. I struggle with when is a (;) is used. I would rather use a period to separate a sentence than use the wrong punctuation, even then it might be wrong. I get so frustrated with myself sometimes. I hope you are not alone to often to have to think as your story implies. Ginger
Hi Zeke, A heart knows that perfect is not really perfect. It is boring. Imperfection, is an endless experience of learning, excitement, knowledge, understanding, growth, etc. Could you even imagine how much pressure it would be to try and be perfect all the time. Impossible. Loved your ending.
Your poem touched my heart. I lost both my parents within the first five years of my marriage. So did my husband. My children grew up with no grandparents. They never knew the joy of being spoiled by them. I still miss my mom and dad. I am now 77 years old. I am lucky. My daughter calls me every day and we can talk for hours. I try to be the Mom in your poem for them my grand children and my great grandchildren. Thanks for sharing
Hi Gillian, I got your name from your Bio at the top of your portfolio. I hope you don't mind me using it. I did wonder about how you introduced yourself and wondered if it was a typo. You described yourself as a single mam of 21. I understand In this day and age the name Gillian could be either or. If it was a typo I wasn't sure if you realized it. I know I make lots of typos since I only type with two fingers.
I loved your poem Christmas Day. It is such a warm hearted poem, filled with the remembrance of times past. Ginger
I sometimes wish I could be visited by those I've loved and lost. In the first ten years of my marriage I lost both my parents, and my 9 year old son. Twelve years ago I lost my husband of forty years. I now live alone, hundreds of miles away from all my family. If not for my close friends and neighbors I would rarely leave my home. I grieve for the children in your story, and yet hope I they are comforted by the fact that they are never truly alone. Thanks for the great story. You always inspire me to improve my writing. Super Sleuth
Hi Zeke, After reading your poem Interloper, I sat and pondered about it.The sentiment about dandelions is one sided. Although it was well written it made me think about how different people can have mixed feelings about dandelions. If a person is obsessed with creating a perfect lawn then yes your poem is correct. I can remember the joy dandelions brought me in my youth. I once read a book of poetry Titled, Over The Garden Wall. I do not remember the author of the book or the following poem. I just looked up the author of the poem and it is
by Anonymous
"O dandelion yellow as gold,
What do you do all day?"
"I just wait here in the tall green grass
Till the children come to play."
"O dandelion yellow as gold,
What do you do all night?"
"I wait and wait till the cool dews fall
And my hair grows long and white."
"And what do you do when your hair is white
And the children come to play?"
"They take me up in their dimpled hands
And blow my hair away."
I also remember visiting my great aunt in New Jersey
And having to go out in her back yard and pick dandelions for the salad we ate for dinner. So you see, my memories of dandelions is very positive as a child.
However, as an adult I also remember digging them out of my front lawn. Thanks for the memories.
I love Fun Houses. When I was young it took an awful lot to scare me. My girlfriend would scream at the top of her lungs the whole time in there. I usually laughed my way through. You did a fantastic job keeping me entertained and the story moved along nicely. Thanks for such a great read. Ginger
Hi Lesley. I absolutely loved this story even though it was sad. Your style of writing has changed since I first started reading your work. You write different when you are emotionally involved, it's like you care so much more about your subjects, and it shows. There are also a lot less mistakes. There are several throughout this piece but nothing that hinders the story line. A extra space between two words, a forgotten comma. Simple stuff you can easily fix. This piece is way to long for me to try and find any mistakes. You will have to read it again out loud to find them. Good writing is all about the fine tuning. Eliminating unnecessary words, changing some wording.
In your last paragraph, I almost cried but I kept it in. I could feel your loss. However I think it would sound and flow better if you tweak it a little. I have made a suggestion below. Remember it is just a suggestion.
I stood up and played fetch with my foxes until I stopped shedding useless (tears. It) took a long (time. I fact) I still cry when I think of Billy.
These could be one sentence each:
I stood up and played fetch with my foxes, until I stopped shedding useless tears.
It took a long time, yet I still cry whenever I think of Billy.
I am so glad you asked me to read this, and look for mistakes. I really enjoyed this. I think it is my favorite so far.
Hi Lesley, I can tell that you put a lot of effort and emotion into this story, maybe even more than the others that I read. My heart goes out to you. I also had to put one of my many beloved pets down. I was very surprised to read that your dog suffered from Cushing's Disease. Although it is a common disease it isn't one of the better known diseases. I ought too know.
When I was 19 years old I suffered from Cushing's Disease. It is a rare hormonal disorder that occurs when a benign tumor on the Pituitary gland, just below the brain, produces excessive amounts of a hormone called (adrenocorticotropic hormone)or better known as ACTH. The ACTH travels through the blood to the Adrenal Glands and signals them to produce an excessive amount of an important steroid called cortisol. When the level of cortisol is too high (hypercortisolism) for too long, it can lead to many different symptoms.
Normal levels of cortisol supports the body's ability to fight infection and aides in metabolism.
Cushings can cause:
Neurological disorders- psychiatric, cognitive and sleep disturbances.
Metabolic complications-Such as obesity, buffalo hump, moon face, and impaired glucose intolerance/diabetes.
Musculoskeletal complications-Proximal myopathy, fatigue and osteoporosis.
Sexual of reproductive complications- Decreased libido,
amenorrhea, of erectile dysfunction.
I did not know all this when I was sick, but I researched it not too long ago. Your dog was very sick, I know all too well. I had to have my right adrenal gland removed and the lower portion of my right lung. Many people with Cushings need special treatment their whole life. Thankfully my doctors were spot on with my treatment. I was Cushings free immediately after the surgery. It did take many months for my body and hormones to to battle their way back to normalcy. I can empathize with You and Buster. Ginger
Hi Lesley, Just finished reading your incredible adventure with the snake. It was quite gripping once I got past the first two paragraphs. They both need work. I made a few suggestions. I hope you don't mind. The rest of the story though, not flawless, was well done. Give it another read and you will see what I mean. I always enjoy your stories and wish my life was more interesting. I love animals. When I was a kid I had a rooster that used to ride on the handlebars of my bicycle. Below are a few suggestions I made for your first two paragraphs, I hope you can understand wrote I wrote. Ginger
First line first paragraph (road in1971 and in)Needs a space after the n and a comma after the 1.
First line second paragraph(The setters encountered)Typo- settlers
(landed in (the) wooden ship,) Use their instead of the."The (Adventurerer.) one too many (er's)
(Today(,)Needs a comma after today.over three hundred years later, the native animals insert of or in front of South South Carolina live in large fenced areas of an acre or habitats.) eliminate the word habitats or rewrite the sentence. habitat. Ex: live in a large fenced in habitat of one acre or more.
(The tourists were told about what the settlers found in the dense (forest.The)needs a space animals were what a settler saw as he hunted for his dinner.) Combine these two sentences.
The tourists were informed about the type of animals the settlers saw while hunting in the dense forest.
This is very, very cute. I like poetry that rhymes and I like writing Children's poetry too. This poem flowed smoothly, rhymed perfectly and was enjoyable to read. Ginger
My daughter loved snakes ever since she caught a garden snake on her paper route. When she grew up she had 3. A Bald Python, A Reticulating Python and a Burmese Python. One of them was 15 feet long. I don't know which one it was. I know nothing about snakes. She kept it in a large glass tank in her living room. They fed it once a month. They cleaned the tank by placing a divider down the middle of the tank. They cleaned half the tank at a time, when they cleaned depended upon which side of the tank the snake was on. I watched it eat a fully grown, huge rabbit once. It struck lightning quick and immediately coiled around it. I watched in utter fascination but I would rather have kept the bunny. I could cuddle with the bunny but not the snake. Your story brought back these memories, thank you for that. My daughter eventually gave the snakes back to where she bought them. Her mother-in-law refused to visit. It's amazing how terrified some people are around snakes. Great story. Ginger
Hi Hunter, Just finished reading Grandma's Pantry. The story line was enchanting. I do enjoy short stories in Dialog. I wish I knew how to can. I was a city girl growing up. No one to teach me. A pity, I missed so much. The ending was perfect. Ginger
Hi Leslie, It's me again. Took your advice and read Gator In The Road. Some really exciting stuff I would probably have been Junior's take-out meal for the remainder of his journey. The content was great. Just a few mistakes that I noticed. You wrote:Buster my Boykin was snored. Easy fix. Also spell check would have caught this you spelled the word: (equipted) it is equipped. I didn't notice anything else wrong but I wanted to finish reading. If you really like to read about animals read
Simon and Jake (E) Katrina found people unprepared, the 4 legged animals also suffered. This is their story. #1110345 by super sleuth
It about two animals struggling to survive Katrina. Keep a box of tissues nearby. Ginger
This leaves me speechless. My daughter's mother-in-law had Alzheimer's and has now passed away. I can tell through your writing of this poem that you are a very loving and caring person. your mother was lucky to have you for a daughter. It is very well written, flows smoothly, and although it is sad, there is still that glimmer of light that keeps it enjoyable to read. Ginger
Hi Leslie, Just returning the favor. You reviewed one of my creations so I decided to return the review. I was glad I did. I live in an RV Park in Florida called Blueberry Hill. It is surrounded by a retention pond which is home to many aquatic animals, including alligators, and turtles. The back of my RV is less than ten feet from the water. There is no fence separating me from the wildlife. My grandson once hooked an alligator while fishing behind my RV. Although I have great respect for these creatures and am not as brave as you, I still enjoy watching them. I have a small Chihuahua named Allie-Gator. Once I saw the content of your portfolio I definitely had to read something. For someone as tiny as you you sure are brave. I wouldn't have the guts to do what you do. I would probably tire long before the alligator. I found your writings informative and entertaining. Glad I stopped by. Ginger
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