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126
126
Review of Hey, Listen.  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi Sean,

Thank you for submitting your poem to “Inspirations.” You have written a piece with strong emotion. The writer is reaching out, hoping that someone will listen…will respond…will lend an understanding ear. But it seems pretty unlikely that it will happen. Rather it seems like the reader is placing blame on the writer for “every mistake, every flaw, every sin, every break, every mood.” The repetition of your central message gives strength to it.

I would prefer “All (that) is left for me now” instead of “all what is left…”

The overall narrative was a bit difficult for me to follow…it seemed a bit scattered. (Though I’m thinking that was your intention.)

Good job Sean! Keep on writing.

Bob
127
127
Review of Whisper a melody  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jaya,

What a true pleasure it is to meet you again here in the halls of “Inspirations”. And such a totally lovely poem you bring! I WANT TO MEET HER!! The richness of your images and word pictures truly move me as I read. My very favorite:

“the soft and silky wings of gentle winds”. I’m pretty sure you didn’t write this poem on a coffee break at work! My hat’s off to you my friend.

God bless,

Bob
128
128
Review of The Perfect Crust  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Romance Junkie,

Thanks for submitting your very powerful work to “Inspirations”. It took me several readings to (begin to) comprehend this poem. You have demonstrated mastery in your use of vivid images and word pictures. You assault the heart of the reader!

I see a couple of tiny grammar corrections you might consider:

“So (of )what use is a fountain of youth,”
Instead “So what of”

“Embarrassing for both him and (me)”
Instead of “him and I”

My hat’s off to you my friend. I could wish for you that the poem springs from imagination, rather than reality.

God bless,

Bob
129
129
Review of The Fairy People  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Walking Zombie,

Thank you for submitting your most interesting poem to “Inspirations”. I can see that you spent a lot of time on this one. You have achieved a very tense and expectant tone throughout. I’m not going to venture a guess about all of the meaning found here! Suffice it to say you captured and held my attention.

Keep on writing!

God bless,

Bob
130
130
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sum1,

By the way, I love your pen name! Thank you for submitting your poem to “Inspirations”. You have written a poem that stirs the emotions. There is the poignant note of regret…of loss of a cherished relationship. I like your rhyme scheme. I’ve always been a “rhyme and rhythm” man.

Here are a couple tiny suggestions: The first line doesn’t need a comma. The sentence clearly continues into line two. Also, “He, who you crave” would better be written “He, whom you crave.

Keep on writing!

God bless,

Bob
131
131
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi creative life,

Thanks for submitting your beautiful poem to “Inspirations”. This poem has one message and one only: the love and adoration of the writer for his beloved. I like your rhyme scheme, and I like your heart!

I LO VE your willingness to go back and put the poem in bitem format! That gives me a chance to give you an “official” rating and review.

I see only one needed suggestion:

“In your presence only peace is,”…this sentence is what I call an “unnatural formation”. The sentence would logically read: “Peace is only in your presence.” But of course that doesn’t fit your rhyme scheme, and I’m a sucker for a good rhyme scheme. I can’t see any better way to do it, so I’d probably leave it exactly as it is.

God bless,

Bob
132
132
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh my word! This is altogether beautiful. You have a rare gift of expression. In so few words you say so much. I’m guessing this is more than a poem. I’m guessing it’s your story. And may God richly bless you, my friend.

Bob

133
133
Review of ANOTHER TOMORROW  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Yellow Rose,

What a wonderful story teller you are! You pack such a powerful narrative into one free verse poem. This has the flavor of the “Good Samaritan” parable told by Christ. You also offer a strong witness to the grace of God: “faith, courage, determination and love”.

God bless,

Bob
134
134
Review of IN THE MIST  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Yellow Rose,

This is beyond lovely! It is pleasing to read. It is endearing. The note of pathos makes me think the author’s beloved has stepped over into God’s eternity…just a heart beat away.

Thanks for this!

Bob
135
135
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Yellow Rose,

What an absoluely delightful poem! It is simple and from the heart. The message is consistant from beginning to end. The language is beautiful. And I love the repititions...they MAKE the poem.

God bless,

Bob
136
136
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dorianne,

What a totally delightful little poem! It sings to me of childhood days and dreamy nights. I absolutely love the expression, "Night’s awesome secret". It seems to invite me to discover the secret.

God bless,

Bob
137
137
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jaya,

As always it is so good to see you here in the “hallowed halls” of “Inspirations”. You have written a narrative of courage, optimism and determination. It is also a narrative of one who is committed to serving humanity with grace, in spite of detours along the way. Now and then I found it a bit difficult to follow the train of thought…but that might just be me. Keep up the good work!

Bob
138
138
Review of In The Winter  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dave,

Good to see you again in the “hallowed halls” of “Inspirations”! WOW! This packs a punch! A part of me wants to believe that poetry is written for enjoyment…to make the reader smile. Of course this is not always the case. You have written a gripping piece, rich with metaphors and vivid description. I salute you. I’m thinking that you are not old enough for this poem to describe you completely. I’m sixty-seven, and some of it hits home!

God bless,

Bob
139
139
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Robin,

Thanks for submitting your excellent poem to “Inspirations”. WOW! What can I say? This packs a punch! To me poetry is to be enjoyed. Now and then I appreciate getting a reminder that poetry is not always written for the reader’s enjoyment. You have achieved an absolutely wonderful rhythm and rhyme scheme. It reads like it came easily and naturally to the writer. I myself seriously doubt that.

Congratulations on a truly fine work.

Bob
140
140
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Country Mom,

Good for you! You have written a total delight! Your words TAKE me there. Your poem is alive with hope and joy for the future. And of course, being a rhyme freak, I totally love your spot-on rhyme scheme.

“knowing that life is only a song.” I would say “really” a song. But that’s just me. In the last stanza I think that “whenever” would be better than when ever.

Also thanks for punctuation and sentence structure. To me it adds a LOT to a poem when the writer takes the trouble to do that. Keep up the good work!

Bob
141
141
Review of No More  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Mari,

Thank you for submitting your poem to “Inspirations”. I myself am a rhyme and rhythm man. So I love your spot-on rhyme scheme. And you achieved it without any awkward formations. That is itself is an accomplishments.

It’s not clear to me exactly what the poem refers too. Perhaps that is your intention.

Keep up the good work!

Bob
142
142
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello my Friend,

This has a good feel. Of course you know me to be a “rhyme and rhythm” man! I also like a piece that expresses strong convictions…with no apology. Your moral truths are spot on. This is a message that would well be heard and heeded by all of us.

The line, “In the moral world we are certainly not winners” doesn’t quite work for me. It seems to lack some of the strength of the rest of the piece. Maybe something like, “In the moral world we are often mere beginners”. But that’s just me!

Keep up the good work!

Bob
143
143
Review of Erosion  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Fyn,

I like this! I like the rhyme scheme. At first I was distracted by your switching the pattern between the first and second stanzas; but then you did the same throughout the piece, so I’m thinking it was on purpose.

“watching bleakly changing shores” sets the tone of the entire poem This works well for me.

“I see you wander now alone
as yet I watch; forever cold.” Very poignant. You make me feel the feelings you are experiencing. I like that in a poem.

Bob
144
144
Review of Casting Stones  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Fyn,

This is good. Your word pictures are vivid. You effectively take me there. I can hear the “plunk” of pebbles hitting the still surface. I like the way you transition from the tranquil scene to the realm of the heart. “Cold, cold stones within a heartbeat”

I’m thinking you may need a period after “pebbles” and then capitalize “Breaks”. To me one thought ends there and another begins. You may have intended it otherwise.

One tiny correction: you have an extra “e” in quicksilver (e) r.

Keep up the good work!

Bob
145
145
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello my Friend!
Once more you grace us with a lovely poem, with just the right touch of nostalgia. Giving the sun a personality also works for me. This is basically a light-hearted piece, but it also carries some pretty deep thought.
This might be a small error:
“It then softly itself:”
Should it be something like:
“It softly says to itself:”
My favorite lines:
“Snowcapped mountains give it the
Solace its work has won.”

Keep up the good work.

Bob
146
146
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Magoo,


This poem is a total DELIGHT! Your writing style is relaxed and pleasing to read. I love your perfect rhyme scheme...and you didn't once sacrifice meaning or create an awkward formation in order to achieve the rhyme. That alone is an accomplishment.

Your vivid word pictures absolutely took me there! The undertone of humor was excellent. Your idea was clever and pleasing.

Write on!

Bob
147
147
Review of Oh the Cost  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Wolf,

Thanks for submitting your poem to “Inspirations”! I’m sorry to be a bit slow in reviewing this piece for you. (We’ll blame it on some vision difficulties.)

You have written a very significant piece, fraught with the feelings, the commitments, the agony and the loss of some of our fighting men. This is a message that should be heard far and wide.

God bless,

Bob
148
148
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Mari,

Thanks for submitting your poem to “Inspirations”! I’m sorry to be a bit slow in reviewing this piece for you. (We’ll blame it on some vision difficulties.)

You have written a very interesting poem here. It carries a strong note of futility. It follows the “changing seasons” of one artist’s pathway. I think painters and poets alike can relate.

My favorite lines:

“Her dance, alluring, steps as old as time.
He with no light, no way to see her face.”

An unspoken message permeates this poem, I think. It is the ever present possibility of OVERCOMING…of seeing ones muse at work with all the creativity that is possible.

Thank for you for a very thoughtful read.

Bob
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149
Review of My Crazy Clan  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Noah,

Thanks for submitting your poem to “Inspirations”! I’m sorry to be a bit slow in reviewing this piece for you. (We’ll blame it on some vision difficulties.)

This is a FUN POEM! It is easy reading, light hearted narrative. I like the rhyme scheme and the “sing song” feel of the piece. It is appropriate for the message.

I think most of your readers will relate. I certainly do. Sometimes I wanted to “punch my family clan in the nose”. But at other times I realized they were worth far more than silver and gold.

Thanks for a very pleasant read!

God bless,

Bob
150
150
Review of Fallen Angel  
Review by Candlemaker
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Dave,

Thanks for submitting your poem to “Inspirations”! I’m sorry to be a bit slow in reviewing this piece for you. (We’ll blame it on some vision difficulties.)

I found this poem to be quite engaging. Somehow your words sort of drew me in. The pace of this poem is direct and perhaps relentless. I immediately felt the feelings of the “fallen angel” and identified with much of her travail. You have a very good gift of narrative…the ability to carry your reader along the path of the story.

I like that you expressed the solution:

“She asks forgiveness there,
remembering her sin’
and repenting in prayer
so healing can begin.”

Thank you for this one, my Friend.

Bob
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