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Review Requests: OFF
229 Public Reviews Given
233 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have my own style- What I found Worked Well; What Technical concerns I found, such as grammar or spelling; Suggestions for improvement; and Overall impressions.
I'm good at...
My reviews are generally pretty thorough, and I love to read almost as much as I love to write. I feel it's an honor to be trusted to share my thoughts about other authors' work.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Mystery, Comedy, Sci-Fi and Horror
Least Favorite Genres
Gushy romance, though I love plot lines within other genres with love/ romantic themes, fan fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Flash fiction, short stories, poetry.
Least Favorite Item Types
I love books but can't spend the time right now. I can handle chapters though, but sometimes feel at a loss for context.
I will not review...
I haven't met a piece of work I won't review yet. There isn't much I haven't seen for myself, or read about.
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of I Am Not a Hero  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
I like your story, but tripped over some technical issues in the blue areas. I enjoyed the action throughout and was engaged by your characters. The way you give physical descriptions and talk about sounds is really good. In general, I feel like you are trying to fit a horse into a shoe box - you need some chapters with this one. One long narrative isn't enough to do justice to these intriguing characters and to the story that spans quite a few years, from the time of the prophecy to the guilt-ridden reflection at the end.

Here are some observations. Like everything, please throw out what doesn't make sense for you.

Alryk's description - tall and sharp featured- is perfect. Really the first time in the story I feel propelled forward to read more. The sentence following has "...he training..." instead of his training.

Fifth paragraph down you've used the word 'prophet' or 'prophecy' 6 times. It gets redundant in this blue section and I think you might want to play with some simple vocabulary changes there. A few paragraphs later you have the same trouble with the word 'training'.

"While his brothers training me in skills..." trained
"He taught me the differences in fighting style." should be styles
"Without Edryk I would never understood.." I would never have understood

The paragraph about Edryk seems at first to be a general memory about the speaker's experience of training. However when it talks about the point at which he learns how Edryk's brother is a better fighter, it seems like an attempt to describe a particular event. I felt like it would have been good to end that paragraph to go ahead and describe that event. In several places throughout the story it feels like you are hesitating to expound on a subject that enters your mind. I would encourage you to not be so frugal and to let your mind pour those words out.

Looking back on your initial disclaimer above, it seems you may have had similar feedback in the past, so if you my feedback is just a repetition for you, I apologize.

Great Work!!
Beckyl
"Simply Positive Group Reviewer Sig." 

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
52
52
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
That was a fun read, I loved the concept a lot. I think a longer short story would do it more justice! The flow of your writing style is excellent; I felt propelled forward through the story and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The ending left me a little disappointed honestly though. I think the part that was missing for me was the feeling. The way you describe the person being knocked to the floor, even though it is written in the first person, seems like a visual description of the event, not a feeling-based one. Example: "...giving me a nasty blow to the head." I'd rather know what the person experienced physically and emotionally.
Hope these thoughts are helpful- if not, toss them out!

Nice job!

Beckyl
"Simply Positive multi-sig" 

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
53
53
Review of Sleep My Dear  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is beautiful and just perfect. I see no errors, just heartbreaking clarity and love. I don't think the explanation at the beginning is necessary- somehow I missed it on the first read, went back to just enjoy the piece again and noticed it.

Sincerely,
Beckyl

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


"Simply Positive Group Reviewer Sig." 
54
54
Review of Good vs. Evil  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Interesting piece. I like the construction and economy of words. The idea of all the creepy crawlies is awesome : my favorite line is the part when the smile is erased the the twitches of terror come. I don't see any technical issues or misspellings. My only criticism is that I had trouble with understanding why someone would want more of terror and scariness. I wondered if there would be another angle that would work more effectively there.
Nice work!

Beckyl
"WDC Power Sig" 
55
55
Review of Tomorrow  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Well, this sounds like familiar internal conversation! I understand the feeling that time is fleeting and has gotten away from you and I can also appreciate the guts and inspiration it takes to set new goals. My favorite part is where you say that you'd surely have a star by now! Very visual, unique and cool! I think your technical elements are perfect - nice job. I might suggest spacing your lines more. My only criticisms are: That your second line confuses me - you seem to be referring to tomorrow (first line) as if it was in the past (seems like yesterday); and that some of your metaphors are 'dead metaphors' - tend to have been used so many times the lack punch. Overall, really nice piece!

Beckyl
"Simply Positive Group Reviewer Sig." 

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
56
56
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
interesting poem, I liked some of the energetic wording you've used. I have always liked center-justified poetry because it gives an architectural look to the work, so this piece was pleasing to the eye. But, the third paragraph down is a little too short - the rhythm felt off. I also felt like your lines were not consistent in length throughout, so the cadence wasn't what I'd hoped for.
As is usual for me, I must tell you that poetry seems best when it evokes emotion. This one has too many thought verbs: followed, looked, brought, political, thinking.... And not enough of the feeling verbs.
Please take all suggestions in the spirit of helpfulness! And freely throw out any that don't make sense for you!

Thanks for your wondrous mind and keep writing!

Beckyl
A WDC Power Reviewer
"Simply Positive Group Reviewer Sig." 

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
57
57
Review of Four Way Stop  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I have often wondered if all the possible stories about interactions between people within the same world will be exhausted at some point. This story gives me great hope for the future. I like the originality of the situation and the unique twists you have constructed. It seems the flow of the story got better as it went on - the language used throughout from the point at which the rider is first seen is easy to follow and worked to draw me in. Some of the phrasing through the beginning is a bit more awkward- "... and she did not imagine an approaching midnight had ever seen..." this sentence is one example where the phrasing is a little awkward and caused me to slow down and re-read for understanding. Another is: "...with its tinge of hysteria to die the death of a strangled hiccup....". It seems like you have the ability to be clever in your use of metaphors, but I would suggest you be more selective if where they will be most effective in propelling the reader through the story.
No technical issues at all with this one - nice work!
I love how enamored the girl was with the rider and your use of modern worries like YouTube pranks! This was a really cool story and I appreciate your style a great deal!

Beckyl
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
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Review of The Poet  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the expression used about renaming the already named. It's interesting to see a poem about a poet and it gives an intimate glimpse into the author's life. I think the second stanza starts with a strong, curious first line, and the use of the word mundane seem s a little awkward to me. Is it an insult to the reader / audience? Maybe it's a well deserved one considering you've lost me with the shovel's reference. Your word use around churning mysteries from a gingerbread home- brilliant. I could almost see and smell it! Thanks for sharing your skills, they are appreciated.

Beckyl
[#1386057]
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Review of The Gleaner  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Really great poem- I love the visuals you give, like the description of the dust, stubble in the fields and the Gleaner's hands.
My favorite part is: "An empty stomach, is reason enough, to endure the pain, of gathering grain,..." there is pure energy in the rhythm and rhyme you use to transition from one line to the next. In poetry I like to see words that have less meaning, such as the, of, and, and then... eliminated if possible. I think when poetry is pared down to the essential words, it can add strength to the message.
Really great work! Thanks so much for sharing it.

Beckyl
[#1478894]
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Review of Missing you  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I didn't want to rate this because it seems too personal but I will say how much I liked it. I think the way that you increased the statement with each line that follows is good. Very powerful statement that the author feels hate on behalf of the lost twin. Only criticism is line #4 may sound better someone (one word) I've never met instead of I never met. And I think the word should be loss instead of lose in the line that follows.
Thanks for sharing such deep material!

Beckyl
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61
Review of Wayward  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I really liked this story and the way is snuck up on me. I wondered about the speaker's friendship, sexual orientation, sanity and finally got it! I think. The apparent resentment he began to develop made the transition a little scary and I wondered if the ending would be violent. The face worked ok, I suppose it he had chosen the drug track, it could have ended more violently. I really liked the way you talked about getting dizzy with the smells and colors of women.
My only criticism would be the very short sentence structures throughout. It seems like even the first couple of sentences could be combined for a better flow and I felt the same way moving through the piece - lots of starts and stops.
Excellent job overall in my opinion!

Beckyl
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
62
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Review of Dragon's Wish  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This one plucks at my Irish heart strings for sure! I really love the imagery- the many colors you use and how you take the time to describe each item the 'elf' steals to make the lady dragon. I especially love the shillelagh - really perfect gift and image. The piece makes me want to visit this world. The only criticism I have for you is that some places seem a little more wordy than they need to be. For example your line: "dreaming deep of lady dragon fair," I think you could omit either lady or dragon from this line and say the same thing. Some lines that tend to be a bit longer lose your rhythm a little.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful tale!!
Beckyl
63
63
Review of Nothing Serious  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
It was confusing to me, reading this poem. I couldn’t follow any back and forth dialogue throughout that was connected to any coherent thing, but it could have just gone over my head. I didn’t see any technical or spelling errors though. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and keep writing!

Beckyl
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64
64
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
I like this one – it has such loving terminology. My favorite line is “when the days left their drops..” The last stanza or section was a bit confusing and lost the rhythm you had going up to that point, for me at least. I think it was the difference between being kissed, but then the reference to waving in the distance. A very nice poem though, thank you for sharing your work.

Beckyl
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65
65
Review of Blarney  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
So funny! I love this one- good rhythm to it and cool language and descriptions. I hope your wife doesn’t kill you! It seemed like the phrases used really sound Irish or foreign - are you from Ireland or the UK maybe? My favorite part is the punch line a the end. Only criticism is that the spelling (thru) and punctuation like contractions etc. seem really lacking. But it may be intended as part of the charm. Thanks for what you do!

Beckyl
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66
66
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think you need to look at your spacing – missing some. I believe a banshee is a female spirit – maybe change the reference to “…the body she’s been sent to claim.”
This was a delightful story and I feel like I know exactly what both characters look like. I can even picture their kids! This light romantic story telling is so fun – do you write much of this style?

Beckyl
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67
67
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
The parts I like: questions that make people think are good. I like the idea of the creation of an orchestra - love. I'm not sure what the connection is between love and the church and placement in the world. Seems like the piece is an attempt to justify a position of some kind that is not in line with the general 'norm'? I think the question mark after the first line/ title is odd. Thanks for writing- maybe I just need to read part 1!
Beckyl
Simply Positive
68
68
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
The title sounds like it will be a poem invoking emotion, memory or sadness. I think the issue I'm having with it is that there are no emotional descriptors. Every reference seems to be about thinking - believing, thinking, saying, realizing... For me, the use of feeling words tends to be more powerful. I like the change from I'm losing you to lost you.

Beckyl
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
69
69
Review of The little girl..  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I'm having a tough time with this one. I like the lines: ...a blend of firmness and innocence; Unlike us showing our fangs... I didn't see a purpose in the forward slashes and some of the ellipses. The line "She taught me how to balance a situation with her elegant smile" it seems like teaching someone to do something would require an action- like if you changed it to an elegant smile, it would be less passive. If you meant that her smile was what did the teaching, I would suggest you use the word through instead of with. Hope that makes sense. The last line seems to needs a capitalized 'I' and space. I am not sure what the reference to aeons means. Please take this as just one person's opinion and please keep writing!
I'm honored to read your work,

Beckyl
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
70
70
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well I don't normally review based at all on my agreement with content, but only on the quality of it. I have to say this really spoke to me and hit a comforting button with me. I enjoyed the language and flow of this work very much. I love the sound in my head of the word order "...starlets, harlots..." really skillfully done. I can find no technical flaws to help you with, sorry.

Thanks for sharing- keep writing!
Beckyl
Simply Positive
{bitem: 1795817}
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71
Review of Q Quandries  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Quazy!! I think this is a really creative idea - I wonder if Q is the first letter you picked - you must be really confident to start with that letter. I'm betting that X will be much harder though. This would be a great interactive writing game - tossing it back and forth between writers. Nice use of all those q words - I feel a little smarter now from just trying to keep up!

A WDC Power Review
Beckyl {bitem: Smile}
72
72
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Very funny! I think you should go ahead and send this letter:) Beckyl Simply Positive
73
73
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Well I learned something new here - I thank you! I've never seen one of these poems. It has a unique cadence and I like the style. I was hoping after reading the first two lines to be feeling more of a possessiveness ore longing from the piece. I would suggest maybe replacing the word 'think' with 'feel' and instead of 'so free' something that is more emotional. I could be wrong though.

Beckyl,
Simply Positive Group
74
74
Review of Our Baby  
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your prepositions are astounding. I think this has to be one of the toughest experiences that people can go through - no face to miss even. I love the structure and language you have used. I can find nothing to critique at all here. I am honored to be allowed to read your feelings.

A Simply Positive Review
75
75
Review by Beckyl
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I think this poem has a nice flow to it and follows a good pattern.

If you are wanting grammar help, I think I would either add the word 'where' at the end of the last line, or make the comma a semi-colon. After 'what you want to hear' I would lose the comma or omit the word and from the next line. Maybe cut the comma after Welcome at the end. Also capitalize Hell because you are using it as a proper noun.

Thanks for sharing your work and your thoughts!
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