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1,095 Public Reviews Given
1,096 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a review template that is only used for in depth reviews, usually those that are specifically requested. These will be as comprehensive as I can manage, including everything I have noticed in reading the piece. Most of my reviews, however, are more in the nature of reactions to the piece with brief notes on things I find particularly good and suggestions on dealing with any obvious flaws in the writing.
I'm good at...
Reviews of stuff I particularly like. If I think the writing is good and the ideas original and inventive, I will say so and become enthusiastic about it. I will point out flaws, particularly where I feel that they interfere with a positive reaction to the piece, but I will also offer suggestions for fixing such problems.
Favorite Genres
I have a broad spectrum of genres I'll review. It's easier for me to list the genres I won't touch.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, erotica, overly dark subjects without a good reason for existence.
Favorite Item Types
I'm unsure what is meant by this - I would have thought the genres sections covered this.
Least Favorite Item Types
See previous section.
I will not review...
Again, see the genres section that lists the genres I won't review.
Public Reviews
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26
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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of The Tale of Peter Piglet by Dave Ryan

First things first - congratulations on the Quill win. Those are not easy to get.

Then what I think is my only quibble. It's not really for children, is it? I mean, it's funny from an adult point of view as we've all had experience of how a bunch of kids can reduce anything to chaos with a few innocent questions. But it wouldn't work with children. They'd spoil it by asking the questions before you could get to the written ones.

It is actually very hard to write for children. The little blighters are extremely difficult tp predict and seem to be aware of every adult weakness in the book. So we end up either condescending to them (in which case they give much worse in return) or aiming way above their heads (and then they won't listen). The best is just to write for them when inspired - just like for adults, in fact.

So that's my only suggestion for improvement - think of another genre rather than children's. Entertainment would fit well enough. And don't put down Contest Entry as a genre. That info is given in the text anyway so it's a mere unnecessary repeat and a waste of a genre type. And each of those brings in more readers searching for that particular thing.

Other than that, it's well written, hilariously close to the truth, imaginative, and obviously inspired by experience. Well done indeed.

Review by
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Beholden

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Lights Out  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of Lights Out by EchiekonTamu Wenrich -Clegg

Take a step back and look at this. It's a great, dark, forbidding block of text, isn't it?
It's no wonder it has so many typos and errors in it since you've obviously never read it to edit it. It's unreadable as it is. And I should know since I've just read it.

If you want people to read this, and that, after all, is why anyone writes, it needs to be much more welcoming. And it's easily enough done. First, enlarge the font. Then introduce paragraphs breaks by inserting hard returns (two returns to force some space in between paragraphs). I know the content doesn't easily break down into paragraphs but it's necessary if it's ever going to be read. Arbitrary breaks are enough to let some air into the thing.

Now that it can be read, it turns out to be quite gripping. It's a finely detailed account of a man's preparations for bed. The obsessive quality of his routine and the compulsive counting to ensure he doesn't miss anything speaks volumes about the fear and paranoia that drives him. Though I've not taken things to this length, I can vouch for the fact that this is a sensitive description of how fear can rule the aged.

The repetition, too, adds to the effect of ritual repeated in a hopeless quest for security. Then the irony is not lost when the decision to repeat the actions frtom the beginning, to be sure, leads to the actual event that is most feared. truly a fearsome sting in the tail and the justification for getting your presentation right.

That's all that's needed (oh, and fix those typos) and you will have a powerful work of horror in this tale. So little story is supplied by the details and yet you do so much with them.

Review by
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Beholden

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Tinkering Dreams  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of Tinkering Dreams by Scarypotato-doing bettertoday

It's often the case that the loss of one thing leads to the finding of a better one. Nice little story, although I'm not sure that the ending is sufficient to satisfy the reader. Otherwise, it's a very competently told tale with plenty of interest and an engaging imagination.

One minor detail did succeed in irritating me. The word is "titfer," not "tifter."
It comes from Cockney slang, abbreviated from "titfer-tat" - for "hat" - to "titfer."It's quite difficult to differentiate between the T and the F in this font size so it might just be a mistake. But it's also a good reason to increase the font size to make the whole thing more readable.

Steampunk is my latest rave so I was particularly happy to have found this piece. You establish the right time period very early on (oh those dark satanic mills) and keep it going throughout, never lapsing into jarring anachronisms. This is so important in the genre and I must congratulate you on your handling of it.

In conclusion, I think that the story is a good starting point for a much longer tale, perhaps a book or a series. You have two good, believable characters, they're young and so there's plenty of mileage in them, and the period is bristling with possibilities for unusual adventures. The sole weakness in the piece is in the ending, as far as I can see. It would be fine as the ending of a chapter but, as the end of a story, it's a bit flat. Which is another way of saying that the tale begs to continue - and giving him a better job puts a stop to that. Imagine the highjinks Hal and Ashe could get up to with her streetwise knowledge and his ability with machines!

Review by
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Beholden

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Beginnings  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of Beginnings by Jacky

This is classic flash fiction. It is simple, direct, and wastes no time (or words) in getting to the point. The story is heart-warming and well told, with an understanding of people that portrays everything with a very light touch indeed. The punchline isn't hugely punchy but this story doesn't need that - it manages very well with an extra dollop of heart-warming.

I've read a lot of your stuff, Jacky, and this story is an excellent example of what you do so well. you write about ordinary folk in ordinary situations and ordinary dilemmas. It's a very necessary part of life and there's nothing wrong in that.

But, if I were to suggest anything to you, it would be to try something different. Not to stop what you're doing but just to see whether you can do other things. You never know - you might surprise yourself.

Certainly you can write well enough to succeed in most genres. I wouldn't suggest Horror but Fantasy might be something you could add to your abilities.

To return to this particular story, it's a most enjoyable and inoffensive tale of a romance of long ago. It speaks of people who are the salt of the earth and their ability to find fulfilment in the simple things in life. As such, it succeeds admirably and deserves the star rating I'm giving it.

Review by
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Beholden

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Relief  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of Relief by Auri Johnson

Wow, creepy. I hope that's what you were aiming for because, if so, you've succeeded spectacularly. The whole thing is amazingly descriptive of paranoia and deals very well with the process of surviving it. Perhaps it's something we all have had at least some experience of.

The reason this is so effective, however, is in the last three lines. Otherwise it's almost clinical in it's precise descriptions, it's understanding of the feelings induced, and the struggles to overcome the thing. Then suddenly we are cast into doubt and the darkness is that much deeper at the horrific turn of events.

Which brings me to your description of what the piece is. You're keeping that very quiet, aren't you? Really, you need to give the reader a handle of some kind to allow the decision to read or not to be made. Contest, Other tells me nothing. Nor does Fiction. Change those (I would suggest Horror, Dark, and Supernatural) and immediately your audience will increase. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? We write to communicate and, if we're not being heard...

You certainly know how to grab hold of a reader and keep them reading until the end. The introduction, flow, pace and development of the story is quite masterful, and you leave me with almost nothing (apart from labelling) to suggest as improvement. A font size one step larger would help, I can say that. Wonderful work, most enjoyable.

Review by
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Beholden

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Review of Hell Train  
Review by Beholden
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
House Martell image for G.o.T.


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Review of Hell Train by W.P. Gerace

This one starts well and then gradually degenerates as events start happening without reason or connectivity, so that it ends in a crescendo of confusion. It's as though you started with the intention of writing something excellent but became tired and eventually just wanted to finish the thing as soon as possible. Don't worry - I've been there myself and that's why I recognise the symptoms.

The main problem is that, in your hurry to get to the end, you don't allow time for the story to develop in a way that the reader can follow and believe. The way to avoid this is to be prepared to put the thing aside when you become tired or run out of immediate ideas. Just going away and thinking about it for a day or two can get things sorted in your mind, and you will return to it with fresh energy.

Allow the reader time to appreciate what's happening in the story too. To have the narrator wake up to a robbery, immediately witness the horror of a man's failed attempt to intervene, and then suddenly the narrator is in Vegas learning to be a demon hunter, it's all too fast and loses its impact as a result. Build up slowly to the more dramatic events in the story, allow your descriptions to be accurate without resorting to unlikely similarities. And think about the picture you're putting into the reader's mind. For instance:

"The creature raised his burned hands and thanked everyone for all the goodies. It was fun, and then he disappeared into a dark mist." What you've been describing can hardly be called fun. It might have been for the creature but that's not obvious from the text. To the reader it's at odds with what he's just read. Make it clearer that this was the creature's thought.

The story needs some work but it's not a complete loss. Work a little on the second half so that the pace remains the same as in the first, and you'll have a good story.

Review by
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Review of Throwing Rocks  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What an enjoyable little tale! I loved the basic idea of a rock thrown in a junkyard coinciding exactly with the landing of a meteor nearby. This could go one of many ways, I thought, and settled down to find out where you'd send it. And I wasn't disappointed. The alien described is very likable, perhaps related to ET, and ideal for a child to find and adopt. Little Johnny's reaction was also perfect, a fitting end to a story that could grow into a whole series.

It's very ably told, too, and I particularly approve of the fact that you're not afraid of long sentences. Watch the word order though - it can be more expressive than you realise at times. "...a wreck out in Pittsville that needed some hauling..." sounds as though Pittsville needs some hauling.

There's also the minor matter of the use of "ole." That's fine when used in reported speech, but doesn't really fit with the basic narrative. I'd make sure to stick with "old" in future.

Other than that, it's a delightful story and a joy to read. Some might expect a more punchy ending but I think the quality of the writing, the descriptions, and character building make up for that. Wonderful stuff.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like this. It's different, honest and revealing. It is well written too, without error (apart from two words that got mashed together).

The fact that it echoes an experience of mine is not why I like it, although that does confirm the truth in the story. No, it's much more that you chose to write it and to be scrupulously honest in the telling. The clear statement of your thoughts throughout encourages the reader to believe and, therefore, to keep reading. There's no great drama or fuss in the story, but it holds our attention because it's such an open discussion of the clash of cultures ruling the experience.

There's wisdom in the piece as well. The fact that the girl announces that the relationship can go no further is important, as I'm not sure the narrator would have come to the same conclusion had she not made it clear. Romantic fancy can so easily sway us in such situations.

So I'm really quite impressed with this little piece. It's so appealing in its honesty and simplicity. And the repeat in the last line - "Her blue jeans were tucked into her brown boots" - is brilliant. Just what the story needed to set it apart from the rest with a bright, vivid flash of detail that is remembered forever. The whole thing is quite excellent.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
34
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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an amusing little story, perhaps not quite as funny as the narrator finds it. I think the hilarity at the end is a little too much to be believed. But that's my opinion and I could be wrong (it's happened before, I know *Wink*).

Otherwise it's a well told story that kept me reading all the way through. I really wanted to know how the mousetrap got into the coffee can! Very clever and totally understandable solution in the end.

There are a few technical matters that I noticed - very minor but you may want to take them into account. "Rushing through the airport doors, as again..." Again? This is the first sentence so I don't see how you can refer to something that happened before it. And, if it's "again," it must have happened before as well.

"The time is speeding along faster then I am" - "then" should be "than."

"I drink to much coffee." "to" should be "too."

The font chosen bothers me slightly. Nothing wrong with emboldening it but it does tend to make the text look rather black and concentrated. I would suggest that you change it to a larger font size to avoid the dark look.

Finally, I get the impression that you were extending the piece in an attempt to reach a minimum word count. It does take a lot of words to tell what is really quite a simple story. My advice would be to try to limit what you tell the reader to those details that matter to the story. We don't really need to know everything that went through the narrator's mind.

Understand that these are all minor matters and easily mended. The initial idea is great and you can handle words well enough to hold the reader. Just needs a little polish, that's all.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is powerful stuff. Right from the start it's different and that gives it an advantage with me immediately. It's not a list of assertions to magnificent feelings, as so much allegedly romantic poetry is these days. No, it concentrates on the other, the object of love, and seeks to know and be known. No extravagant claims, no stretching metaphors, just words seeking desperately to be heard and understood. This is what poetry is all about.

So it's a love poem of extraordinary power, going right to the heart of things. But it's also a cry of confusion, of the mixed emotions on meeting an old lover and finding that feelings have not died entirely in the time away. The switch back and forth as new thoughts and feelings demand to be known is exactly how we react, if truth be known.

Essentially, you have discovered the secret to real poetry, that it requires an honesty about self that costs to record. At your age, that is a precious gift and gives you a head start over the vast majority of would be poets. Be true to it through your life, and you'll be a giant. Just remember that nobody ever made a fortune out of being a poet. It's a hard road to walk.

And that's about all I can tell you. It's a wonderful poem. Thanks for putting it out there and letting me read it.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a vivid account of an ill-advised visit to a cemetery at dead of night. As usuch, it delivers on expectations, there being plenty of eerie sights and unnatural occurrences. I do wonder whether there is sufficient story in it, however. The descriptions are fitting to the subject, slightly over the top to emphasise the spookiness of it all, but the simplicity of the story falls a bit short. Having disturbed the dead, it would be more gripping if the punishment for such folly were to be more than expulsion with a severe lesson learned.

Technically, there is nothing wrong with the piece. The language is well chosen, straightforward and suitable to the subject. The one doubt I have is in the sentence, "Not on the anniversary of… well, best not to dwell on that." This halted me in mid-flow and, if it did that to me, it might to others. The problem is that it creates in me the need to know what did happen to make the narrator shy away like that. It distracts me from the present and turns my thoughts to things that are irrelevant to the story. So it's best to leave out the reference, unless you're going to explain at some time in the piece.

Otherwise, it's exactly what it claims to be, a prose piece dealing with dark and unearthly things. And it's good at that. Enjoyable, if slightly disappointing in its ending.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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Review of My Life  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a poem reflecting on a life lived. It has an interesting structure, relying on a repeated rhyme throughout the odd (as opposed to even) lines. It's a matter of debate whether this is sufficient to make it a poem (I would say not but I never have been a great advocate of rhyme) so we must look elsewhere to be sure.

There is no structured meter, so we can't rely on that for justification in labelling it poetry. Just as in free verse, therefore, we must fall back on words and meaning for our proof. We are on firmer ground here. There are images created with the words, metaphors and similes scattered to build pictures of the life flashing past. So I think the answer is yes, there is enough colour and immediacy in the words to support the claim to poetry.

How effective is it? To be honest, I think it's a bit too confused to really open up a life. It works as a view of general life that could be lived by any or all of us. But it is undecided itself on that point, talking of "he" in the early lines, becoming rather indeterminate in the middle and then admitting to be about self in the last line. The matters mentioned are also held at arms length, being kept vaguely general and not specific. To come alive for the reader, you need to look for actual events, no matter how apparently unimportant, that produced the effect it had on you (let's be honest, too, and admit that it's about your life - it allows the reader to begin to root for you). It's hard to care about events described in general terms - much better to speak of actual occurrences in sharp detail to illustrate living through them.

As an example, consider the line "Newly found emotions Love, Lust, and others untold..." Yeah, we all know what growing up feels like, but now you need to make it much more personal. Give us something that happened to you that shows just how much you were affected by the experience. A first love, especially if unrequited, would be ideal here. Yes, I know it's held close to you and would hurt to tell, but that's what poetry (all writing, in fact) is about. It costs to get it right.

As far as meaning is concerned, the poem is typical of most people's efforts. It's better than many of mine were when I first started to attempt poetry, but it doesn't rise above the common run of the average person. If you want to write better poetry, you're going to have to give a little more. Honesty is what draws the crowds - they recognise and love it.

If I can add a few words about rhyme, the rhymes you've chosen are not bad - they are unobtrusive and, in the most part, have a reason for their choice and positioning. They do occasionally restrict your ability to keep the meaning going (resulting in lines that could be lost without effect on the poem) and I would suggest you give free verse a try. It's much more amenable to exactly what you want to say. One can always return to rhyme at a later stage.

Meter is something you need to think about too. Don't worry about syllable counts or where the beat is going; just read it aloud to see if it flows naturally and doesn't have any awkward pauses, lumps or difficulties. And if there are any, fix them! There's always another way to say the same thing but flow better.

I've been hard on you because you're worth it. With some improvement you could write stuff that is really arresting and relevant to millions of people. It's going to take some work, but doesn't everything worthwhile do the same? Keep writing and know that the old saying is true - practice makes perfect!

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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Review of The Lone Survivor  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very good. Amazing imagination and a well thought out story that twists and turns quite unexpectedly. It's also a pleasure to read something that has been edited properly - I hate having to point out silly grammatical errors and typos.

So you've made my job very easy with this one. It may be a bit longer than the others I've tackled so far in this review raid, but it has proved one of the easiest to do because I have nothing to complain about. It is excellent science fiction, gripping and exciting, as well as offering a different storyline from the norm. Great characterisation, considering that it's a short story, well paced, and a suitably neat and logical conclusion.

Most enjoyable.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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Review of The Wisp  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a gripping story, the product of a creative imagination, spoiled by a few editing errors that should have been picked up on a read through. There are several places where an extra letter has found its way in to make a nonsense of a sentence, or a letter left out. I didn't note all of them but the worst are these:

"I came to my senses beside a stream with a large bump throbbed over one eye."
"The attack had been a hideous, savage and animal like in nature."
"I decided I would return to the city, living among the homeless do,"
"he was released due, though due in no part to any efforts of mine."

Otherwise, the story is well paced, quite vivid in its descriptions, and full of a brooding menace that fits the horror genre very well. Give the text a thorough reading, fixing the minor errors as you go, and you'll have an excellent story that will grab and hold its readers.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
'Tis a good tale well told and that's the truth. From start to finish, you painted an amusing picture of an Irish lad and his friend on the trail of a leprechaun and the good fortune he could bestow. Elegantly done and with an accent that remained believable all the way through.

In the course of this review raid, I've come across several stories written for this particular contest, and this one seems the most authoritative of them all. Clearly, you are an expert on these leprechauns and their tricksy ways.

I found no flaws or errors in the writing, the tale held me spellbound right to the end, so I must tip my hat and award a full five stars to it. Most excellently done!

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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Review of Luck o' the Irish  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
In my humble opinion, this great story is spoiled by a weak ending. It trundles merrily along, everything quite believable (just), and we're all enjoying the narrator's good fortune and generous treatment of the sudden windfall, and then the lottery ticket is bought. From that moment, there's only two ways the story can go - either a fortune is won or hopes are dashed in disappointment.

And the win is the wrong way to go! It only makes us ask, "What happened next?" To which there's no answer, of course. A prompt disappointment is the better way, if only because it gives balance to the rest of the story. But there is a better way. I've said there are only two possible endings but there is a twisted way to inject more interest. How about the ticket is lost in the narrator's drunken adventures and perhaps washed down a gutter and into a drain? Wheher we find out if it was the winning number is entirely down to your taste thereafter. But the important thing is we avoid the predictable.

It's a good story and well told. All it needs is an ending with a bit more oomph.

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Beholden
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Review of Lucky Irish  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is absolutely hilarious. When I think of how hard I've seen people trying to write something funny, the accomplished ease with which you carried this off is almost an insult to the lot of 'em. A simple tale told earnestly and with total honesty (well, almost *Wink*), and a mule kick of realisation at the end - it's brilliant.

There's a fair bit of education in it too. I learned quite a lot about the various preferences of the Irish in liquor just reading the story. The rare Redbreast, hey? Must remember that in case I ever make it to the Emerald Isle.

A truly remarkable and heartwarming tale of a father taking his son through the rituals of adulthood. I salute you, sir!

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Beholden
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Review of McCarthy Forever!  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Fascinating. This has a genuine taste of Ireland in its words and meanings, combining impressions and descriptions with unconnected and wandering thoughts, to build a veritable experience through the piece. There is story in the piece, but this is kept to hints and fragments so that it never takes over from the intent of the piece, to allow us to come to know this Irish lady revisiting old haunts, perhaps in spirit only.

It's very Kåre Enga in feel and tone, so much like other work of yours that I've read. No one else gives such an honest feeling of place and time as you do. Those little details that work to build a picture are the kind of things that only your eyes see and bring to notice. It's a rare talent that should be better appreciated today, when everything is in such a hurry to be somewhere else.

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Review of Spring Visitor  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is nice. Starts with an arresting image - a six-legged SUV. What on earth can that mean? Onwards to find out! Ah, something rambling over an unmowed lawn. Probably not a real SUV then. But still no picture. So to the third line: Jewel speckled bug. Suddenly everything is clear and sharp, colour and meaning burst through in the image of this spectacularly decorated bug. And all the previous clues fall exactly into place - an SUV indeed, tiny but bulky and clumsy, six legs working to negotiate a path through the blades of grass.

It's a beautiful snapshot of something we've all seen and considered, a moment captured for all time. And isn't that exactly what a haiku is for? Wonderful work.

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Now here's a delightful little tale! From beginning to end, it's told with a gleam in the eye, mischief in mind, and a light, humourous touch. You make even a competent stab at portraying Paddy's dialect, something not commonly achieved in the majority of writers these days.

What I like about the story especially is its lighthearted tone. Mermaids and sirens seem very mixed with each other in reputation so there was always an expectation that things might end badly for Paddy, but you have succeeded in keeping the atmosphere light all the way through his disappointment and thwarted ambition. The pun in the last line is the perfect flourish to this, a triumphant final hoorah to a tale told for for fun and entertainment. The world needs more of such things, obsessed with doom and gloom as it is.

I have no hesitation in agreeing with your prior reviewers and awarding a rating of five stars. Wonderful stuff!

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Review of Blackbird  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
An age old story indeed. I like the peaceful feeling of this piece, its gentle hints at what is to come, and its acceptance of the life that is granted. There is an understanding of age in all this, a measure of experience that grounds the tale with real wisdom.

It's not something of excitement and high adventure but, for all of us, there comes a time when peace and rest are more important. And these can be as gripping as any tale of derring-do, this story being an excellent example. The writing is simple, sure, and unpretentious, confident in its ability to guide us through to the intended ending. Though it deals with a subject that is never popular, it speaks with a clear voice and delicacy so that none need be offended. Death is, after all, a part of life.

This is a very effective piece of work that achieves exactly what it sets out to do. I can find no fault in the writing, neither technical nor in clarity of vision. A most enjoyable read.

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Review of Disappearing Act  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A two-for-the-price-of-one, Janus of the poetry shelves, a delicious mix of sweet and savoury, what a joy this poem is! On the one hand, it's a feast of tasty, gorgeous words cascading in colourful torrents from the pen; on the other, it's a serious look at life and how it's spent, the wages of whatever it brought.

It's a wonderful combination of things, so unusual yet arresting that I cannot pass it by. This matter of cascading words, for instance - it's what I've always admired in Dylan Thomas with his ability to create a flow of words that don't mean anything nearly as much as they create feeling and response. That's what the first reading of this poem does to me - no idea what it's about but don't care because its so delicious! "Fired up on righteousness, served sizzling to earnest flightless flocks afraid of blazes" is just one example, for the poem is full of them.

Subsequent reading coaxes meaning from the words too, aided by the title and description, explained by that single meaningful genre admitted to - Personal. Oh yes, I'm not above that too, when things get so close that they hurt to reveal too frankly. And this is a somewhat desperate view of a life lived and now reconsidered from an older perspective. How it contrasts to the glorious outpouring of words that greets us initially! But it's true - life is both beautiful and tragic, a sad song played on a penny whistle.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense. It's the only way I know to let you understand how much I enjoy this poem. And, if poems were easily laid open for all to understand at a glance, they wouldn't really be poetry, would they? The best are like this one, outrageously beautiful and a thing to be savoured forever.

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Beholden
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Review of Generation Z  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an odd little story. The strange, secluded and reclusive society it speaks of is rather cultlike in its separation from the world and inwardness. Add to that the the fact that the stilted, formal and robotic quality of the conversations reported gives the story an otherwordliness that actually suits the story as a whole. It makes complete sense that, so fearful of the world outside is the group that, when confronted with something new and different, it rejects both the newcomer and the leader that has formulated the rules that now lead to their being cast out.

I was undecided as to how intended this cultlike atmosphere was until the final moments when the narrator chooses to be thrown out with the leader and newcomer. This shows that the reader's sympathy is not to be with the society but with a more humane stance of accepting difference and other cultures. It's very cleverly done and effective in its building of scene and then sudden reversal of what we have been induced to accept. There are lessons here that will only emerge with time and thought.

The really remarkable thing is that it is all achieved through so few and such simple words. It is quite beautiful in its strict adherence to story and a refusal to indulge in flowery and overstated description and language. A most affecting and deeply relevant piece indeed. Quite wonderful.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Cleansing Tears  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for explaining to me the Strambotto form, in this case the Toscano variant. I have, of late, become interested in obscure poetic forms and this is a particularly fine one. Your poem, too, is an excellent product, regardless of the form chosen for it. The rhymes are delightful, steady, rhythmical, yet unobtrusive and natural, always adding to the meaning and sound quality of the poem.

Meter too is well handled and the poem can be read aloud with smooth and uninterrupted flow. In fact rhyme and meter work together with meaning to produce an answering mood in the reader, the respose to the underlying sadness that the poem projects. This, surely, is what poetry is for - the communication of thought and feeling from one mind to another, the passing on of experience between creatures of equal sensibility.

It's a finely crafted poem, carefully thought out and presented. Which leaves me with little to say but well done! Most enjoyable.

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Beholden
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Review of Linger  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like it, not only because it's good advice (there is no need to hurry into the future, after all) but also because it means essentially the same whichever way you read it. Whether it is truly a palindrome or not, I don't know, not being an expert on these things. The only palindrome I know is the old Napoleonic one, Able was I ere I saw Elba in which each word must be read backwards as well as forwards. Not that it matters, your poem being so clever and thought out that it strikes the target whatever we choose to call it.

And that's really my point. The piece succeeds both aesthetically and in holding to reality. It makes sense whichever way it's read and contains a life lesson too. I'm all for living in the present, since it's really all we've got. It's fresh and original in conception and execution and I can't say better than that.

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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023
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