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101
101
Review of A Dream  
Review by W.D.Wilcox
Rated: E | (4.5)
You show moments of GREATNESS in this poem. Other times, you use old worn-out phrases. For example: from the madding crowd/ long lost love/ lies frozen like snow on leaves/ portals of the past

You have the GIFT, write more, write everyday!
102
102
Review of The Other Side  
Review by W.D.Wilcox
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is pretty good, Pixie-Fairy. You have a wonderful imagination and clever way of tying everything together. There are some things you can do to make it stronger. For example, your very first sentence, "An object dropped quietly nearby a bed with a girl reading in it." Your opening sentence must be as strong as your final sentence. This one seems very vague. It starts really well, but than drops you. How about this: "A gold key fell out of the mirror, and slid near Alexia's bed." Now the reader is hooked, because that is a very strange opening sentence. How could a key fall out of a mirror? You've also introduced the young girls name which you really don't mention until her mother calls her to eat. In writing, less is more. Go through your story and take out the weak words. For example, 'the objest', describe the object; Try to stay away from using the word 'it', describe 'it', this makes your writing stronger.
I hope this advice helps you tighten-up this story, or makes your next one even better. Never stop writing and reading *Heart*.
W.D.Wilcox
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