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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bjdepew
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12 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of My Mother's Poems  
for entry "The Rose
Review by pfryan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Neva,

I am so sorry to hear about your mother's struggle with alzheimer's. Know that there are a lot of us out here who empathize wholeheartedly.

My baby brother died at ten months old. The trauma created a massive hole in the middle of my stomach. Yet, when I went back to school in the fall, that same whole was filled with the love of my classmates. No one spoke of what happened. Their presence got me back to a normal routine like I had never been gone.
All it required for me to begin a recovery was knowing that they all loved me with their tears, laughter and hugs. My t-shirt smelled like perfume all day. So, surround yourself with positive people and simply be.

By the way, "The Rose" was delightful. Your mom has a real talent. I am glad you chose to share it with us.

pfryan
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Review by pfryan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there, K.HBey!

Something is in the way of us readers seeing and breathing life in the way we are meant to see and breathe. What is this something? It, too, cannot be seen. The theme of this poem is brilliant and original. Almost too hard to grasp because it is told by a master storyteller. There is no rhyme because it is not necessary. This is, rather, an essay. The kind of which I have yet to write myself. And, I've been writing for close to two decades. I really don't know that I have the talent or the know how to write such a masterpiece. Keep up the excellent work and I for certain will read more.

pfryan
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Review by pfryan
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Although I am irish, I have to confess not a whole lot of knowledge of irish lore. Even so, I thoroughly enjoyed everything you wrote. Why? Because you seem to have a working knowledge of Ireland. And, it may not be
possible on this site, but I think it would be fun to hear your poem sung if at all possible. Keep writing.

prfyan
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Review by pfryan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there, RimaD!

You have an uncanny ability to make words come to life. Ironically, this being the topic of your short story here. You kept me interested and enthused to read every paragraph.

"The white fluffy things floating about are the clouds. I will tell you about their beauty later." This quote gives us something to ponder. What will you tell us about clouds that we don't already know. From what I've read so far, I have a feeling it will be beautifully depicted.

"I say she is crying but she says she’s just taking a shower.: This quote is a cute one. It's an example of how sisters will tease each other in real life.

I came close to reading this story twice. The POV is really a joy. Whom you finally revealed in the very last sentence. I have to say that you have done a wonderful job of showing us how to put a story together Keep writing. I'll keep reading.

pfryan
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5
Review of Almost Heaven  
Review by pfryan
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi there, HOoves!

This is a beautifully crafted spiritual poem. I am so glad you found the words to praise your loved ones who have passed away. As I am certain you know, this is a true gift. I enjoyed reading it immensely and will become a fan as soon as this review is finished. Keep writing!

pfryan
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Review by pfryan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there, typingrhyme!

This poem helps me to know that you are close enough to Our Lord to know what he expects of us and to express our needs to Him. The rhyme is very good and so is the rhythm. This is my favorite form of poem - traditional - practically all I write. Keep writing poems of this calibre and I am certain lots of readers - including me - will stop by and browse your port.

pfryan
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Review by pfryan
Rated: E | (4.5)
this is a cool story. it has the ring of truth. when I was in kindergarten, a class bully tried to take a board game away from me and it ended up in a tug of war. Fortunately, we had a nice lady for a teacher who was always fair. After asking who had the game first, she put the bully in his place and that made me feel justified. Life's not always fair for kids, especially when adults don't pay attention to what is behind our behavior. Glad it made for a funny story when you grew up.

pfryan
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Review by pfryan
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
writerchuck,

you've hit on a lot of wonderful points. i know The Lord would be happy to read a poem such as this and respond to it. I babysat an infant once when I was a preteenager. My mom told me to let him cry himself to sleep. But, I couldn't do it. The poor thing tugged at my heart with his tears. When rocking him to sleep, he buried his face in my shoulder. This was such a wonderful feeling of complete trust. And, this is nothing he learned. But, is in the nature of all babies.

pfryan
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9
Review by pfryan
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent story, bubblegum. Very original, too. The subject matter of revisiting my childhood is something I have thought about many times. Now, I know there are ways to write about it. I just might do that.

Good job. pfryan.
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