|I'm sorry for the poor rating. It could be a good story, if it was told right. Things to work on:
-Full stops.You missed a few. The sentences seem almost rushed. Maybe commas, at least?
-Maybe don't use 'xD' unless it's supposed to be a diary?
-Paragraphs. At the moment it's one long paragraph, which is quite daunting.
-Capital letters. I feel like my school teacher right now, but you missed some of them too.
-Grammar in general.