Hello El Bib,
Thank you for sharing your story with WDC, I'm happy to have the chance to review your work! This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any or all suggestions.
Opening Line(s)
 The woods by the lake seemed different somehow. Perhaps the stillness in the air or the shadows that danced on the forest floor from the old pines... Good opening. The first two sentences have enough question in them to keep the reader interested in reading on.
Themes
The outdoors hunting theme is always good for this type of story. The availability of weapons being prominent is a great idea also.
What I liked Most
The second chapter was the most solid. It appears you spent more time working on this part of the story. My favorite, "After getting their coffee they retired to a table in the corner of the cafeteria. A man of his mid fifties, Dr. Hans Rohm looked more like he was in his mid eighties with eyes that looked as if they had seen a hundred years worth of horror. His back humped at the shoulders from years of lifting patients now made his 6 foot frame look five and a half now."
Room for Growth
"Don was a sight for sore eyes after five years..." This is a strange statement because it is not set up with what was going on the five years before. (After five years of what?) This might be reworded to include something like... Don was a sight for sore eyes after his being away in the Navy five years... or, the hospital or wherever it was.
"They had parked their car on the road and had hiked in but had gotten a late start due to engine trouble on the tug that Don worked on and now the moon hung in the sky casting just enough light through the trees to dimly lighten their footsteps down the overgrown path." GASP! This is a pretty long sentence. It might be better broken up like this. They had parked their car on the road and had hiked in. But they got a late start due to engine trouble on the tug that Don worked on, and now the moon hung in the sky, which cast just enough light through the trees to dimly lighten their footsteps down the overgrown path.
The Old Shack as they had called it from childhood looked just the same as it did when their father brought them here the first time. When you are breaking a sentence up to give a description, you need to separate the description with commas. The Old Shack, as they had called it from childhood, looked just the same as it did when their father brought them here the first time.
The weather worn planks that made up the walls holding up a rusting tin roof was a wonderful site and brought back fond memories. This sentence also needs help to keep from being so wordy... The weather worn wall planks held up a rusty tin roof was a wonderful sight, which brought back fond memories.
After relocating a family of mice that had taken up residency in the stove, Jake found enough wood to start a fire to warm up some stew and coffee while Don set up the cots that they had packed in along with tackle boxes, rods, rifles, hunting knives and the essentials. This is one of my own problems. I'll start a sentence with motion and end up with a run on sentence when everything could be said much simpler. Jake found enough wood to start a fire to warm up some stew and coffee. First he had to relocate a family of mice that had taken up residence in the stove; while Don set up the cots that they had packed in along with tackle boxes, rods, rifles, hunting knives and other essentials.
The sun found the brothers dressed in camo gear hiding in a deer blind next to the lake waiting on dinner to walk up and have a morning drink, but being newly reunited the two regressed quickly to their childhood and began picking at one another, making enough noise to scare off the Devil himself, much less any wandering deer. This is another sentence that should be broken into two, with corrections in tense; The sun found the brothers dressed in camo gear hidden in a deer blind beside the lake to wait on dinner to walk up and have a morning drink. However, since they had been reunited the two regressed quickly to their childhood and began picking at one another, making enough noise to scare off the Devil himself, much less a thirsty deer.
Neither fired a single shot all morning and around noon had decided to give up and go fishing. Going back to camp they changed into shorts and t-shirts grabbed their rods and headed back to the lake. Having much better success at fishing, by dusk they had enough fish to fry up and eat well. These sentences have the first and third person messed up entirely. The paragraph should look more like this. Neither fired a shot all morning and around noon they had decided to give up and go fishing. They went back to camp and changed into shorts and t-shirts, grabbed their rods and headed back to the lake where they had much better success with the fish. By dusk they had enough fish to fry up and eat well.
The creaking of the door brought Jake from a deep slumber into a semi conscious state. Assuming it was his brother going out to relieve himself, sleep overtook him once again bringing a fitful sleep full of nightmares and visions of the past. Once again, the tense of writing is violated in the paragraph. You can write in two tenses but it is very difficult to do properly. This is not; The door creaked and brought Jake from a deep slumber into a semi conscious state. Assuming it was his brother going out to relieve himself, his sleep resumed and once again brought a fitful restless night full of nightmares and visions of the past.
On a Personal Note
I think you have a quality story going here. The second chapter works better than the first, however you are having trouble keeping your writing voice in gear. This is nothing to be worried about as it will come with time and work. Hang in there because it is well worth it. Be blessed and Write On!
Michael
The Gospel BluesMan
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While you grabbed me with the very first line, you would lose me then grab me over and over again. I think part of it may have been the red type set, but a lot of it was the wishy washy thinking of the protagonist. I understand that this was part of the plot, however there must be a better way to produce the same product with less verbiage. You did try to show the scene but here is a little piece from the story: 
cold/hot, 
You have a good idea here and have begun a tale that could be a life changer!!! I wish I'd thought of it. I'm going to rate this one and I can't rate something twice. So go at it again with the editing pencil and 
all of the unnecessary garb and put in REAL stuff. Then generate another static item and I'll review it again when you really think it's ready. It does have potential~ Be blessed and write on!
But here is an idea of what I came up with.
I know we live in a day and age where no lyrics rhyme, but man... something should rhyme in a lullaby. Either in the verse or the chorus. I think you have more use for a little rhyme in the verses.
Keep up the good work, and Write On!