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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bobbrug
Review Requests: OFF
109 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, your story is very interesting and raises a few questions. First though; I enjoyed reading your story. Your style of writing has a smooth flow and with a strait forward presentation. Although, I would have started with a description of the venue where the presentation was taking place. You completely overlooked the repercussions of a 1% mortality rate. I believe that would have added a lot to the outcome of immortality. Overall it is a well written piece and I did enjoy reading it.
Write on
Bob
2
2
Review of Reborn  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm sure you, in some way, took this from some real life scenario. If not, I envy your imagination. As with the other stories I read, your style and technique is outstanding. You said you're published, I can see why.

Keep riding that bike and keep writing; cause you'll always have an audience with me...

Bob
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3
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Mr. Kane. You have the knack. You can keep a persons attention. Have you ever watched the "Twilight Zone" - one of my favorite shows, The Scarecrow is in that league.
I'm not a good critic. I judge a story on its content and flow. This story has both.
In my opinion you should do nothing to this piece, it's great, as is.
One day I hope to be able to do just as good a job.

Well done.
Bob
4
4
Review of A Few Words  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: E | (4.5)
You wrote a preface to his famous words that sets the scene. As if to dim the electric lights, setting alight the oil lamps and raising the curtain. You purvey his mood and tone of sadness and loneliness. In the end you can almost imagine his slow cantor as he relates this poignant dialog to waiting audience.

In life, he never would realize how well received these words would be or how historically notable the dedication would become.

That you so much for the really well written piece this is.
5
5
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This was so well done. Just the right amount of suspense to keep the reader interested. You added confusion and a nice twist with Charlies mental instability and changing analysts, seeing flying saucers and his paranoia.

Great story, keep up the great work...

6
6
Review of The Vortex  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
For a piece this short, you've included a lot of imagery. I loved the way you put this together; very well done.

7
7
Review of The Wishing Well  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
For a man who can observe surgery and disaster without flinching, a piece like this can draw tears. I listen to music when I read and I was listening to Mozart chamber piece when reading your "The Wishing Well". I had a lump in my chest after the third line. As I have dealt little with poetry, this will be a truly amateur review.

My first impression is the source of the story is real. If not, you are better than you think. Based on content alone, I really was moved by your descriptive detail, there wasn't much, but the small pieces were all that were necessary to let the readers mind paint the canvas.

If this is a true story, I am truly sorry for your loss.

Thank you very much for this marvelous piece.
8
8
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Cute. Hopefully this is taken from real events; would loved to have been there. Nicely written. I would have ended it with "Hmmm... I'll take my big foots and put them in my big mouth."
I understand that you also were probably under a word count restriction.

Well done, write on.
Bob
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9
for entry "47%
Review by Rogue Writer
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
When i heard this, I was personally, highly insulted. I am retired, I do not have a large pension or SS retirement benefit coming to me. But, I worked all my life and made a decent wage; not a lot, but my family was comfortable while paying top dollar payroll taxs and Social Security. Now I am being called a freeloader because I am cashing in on what I paid all my life for. What I am receiving is not a handout, I paid for it. Out of my meager fixed income, I still pay federal tax and Medicare withholding, so in a way, I am still paying for it.

I cannot understand the mentality of our society, everyone wants something from government but are unwilling to pay for it. No one seems to understand what they are receiving from this government. National and local Security (Military and Police), Utilities are independently provided, but are provided under government licenses, sanctions and entitlements. Regulatory commissions are required to keep the business community from taking advantage an unknowing populace, unregulated lending is what put this economy in a tailspin.

I am one of those 47% and I will never vote for Mitt.

Admittedly, I've ranted enough, this is a place to critical and offer helpful suggestions, but i unloaded a little.

Thank you for a great piece on the 47% comment and I totally agree.

Well written...
10
10
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved it. I'm writing a corruption of Mid-evil Cinderella and find writing in this time frame very difficult. You seem to have a knack for it. I am forever hunting for the right jargon of the period. My older son has read almost all of the stories from this period. But I'm stuck in the 21st century, I don't go any further back than the 19th century.

Now I really feel old.

just like all of your works, you did and excellent job. Any questions raised in the story were answered at the end. I also hope you get First and Second Place. LOL

Bob
11
11
Review by Rogue Writer
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall, I feel you did a great job with that prompt. Your descriptions are vivid and realistic. Your characters real and story continuity clear and sharp. The old mans accent was perfect, very nicely done.

I also wrote for this prompt but only started writing two hours before deadline. My story came nowhere near yours. You can be proud of this creation and you should expand on it, it's a great story.

Best of luck, write on.

Bob
12
12
Review of The Next Victim  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Except for the word limitation, this could have been a great story. I am one who embellishes his descriptions and these contests with their word restrictions drive me nuts. I am sure you sweat while tweaking this down under 200 words.

But, you did a great job in the room you had. You got it all in and put the twist in perfectly.

Fantastic, great job.

Bob
13
13
Review of Hypocricy  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Not being a poet myself, I try not to review poems, but I do read them and at times cannot make heads or tails of them, others are crystal clear and defining their content clearly. Being a person of truth and directness, I really enjoyed this piece.

Thank also for reviewing my piece, "The Trap"

Bob
14
14
Review of Writing in Snow  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Very interesting. I am not a poet and for me to truly appreciate these sonnets, someone would need to read them aloud to me. I have listened to Deft Jam Poetry being read and have enjoyed it, at least most of it. For some reason I cannot get my head around reading it. I have composed only one poem for my port:

 Bobby and Beth  (E)
24 lines of the worst poetry you'll ever read. My first attempt.
#1754313 by Rogue Writer


I hope you like it.

I think you are a very talented author and suggest you continue for a long time.

Bob
15
15
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found this to be a very saddening and true situation. The story of a domineering and opinionated mother, belittling her daughter to keep control of her. I like this story for its honesty and clarity.

Truth be told, there are too many situations similar to this going on, that will never come to light. Unfortunately, I did know and was part of a strained relationship similar to this one for many years.

To be honest, I don't know if the mother in this situation really knew how badly she was damaging her daughter. I can believe that she, in her own mind, saw nothing wrong in the actions she was taking or the pain she was inflicting.

The vindication of this story is that very last line.

Over all, I found it to be well written and totally believable.

Write on.

Bob
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16
Review by Rogue Writer
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A great compilation, there are times when I am at a complete loss for the one word that can port the readers imagination to the correct place. I want to thank you for your forethought and perseverance. I am sure it was not an easy task.

Thanks again.

Bob
17
17
Review of Cujo's Peace  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: E | (4.0)
You may think me strange but I enjoy stories like this one. Sad, but they have redemption, the more sadness the bigger the return.

We also have had a few dogs over the past 44 years. I will never forget holding them, when the time came, and feeling the life force leave them after the Vet gave them the shot. It always tears my heart out. This is your buddy, trusting and loyal. The last time, Sheba a ten year old Shepherd-Husky mix, was diagnosed with Congestive Heart failure. I looked into her eyes as I held her and when I could tell that she was no longer in pain, i broke down like a baby. My wife could never come in with me, she was in just as bad shape for all of our pets.

Now we have a Shepherd-Collie mix (Dixie-Bell), but it will be my job when she gets old, sick and medications no longer work, to take her in. Somehow I hope to go before her.

Well written,
It brought back that feeling.

Bob

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18
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: E | (4.0)
You have, in four lines, allowed the reader to visualize dozens of avenues of thought.

Is this your first work?

Bob
19
19
Review of The Ex-Wife  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Over all it is a very good story, well thought out with just the right seasoning of suspense. You provided just the right amount of history to let the reader visualize the main character. Gina's personality disorder becomes evident within her first appearance. Unlike similar stories, the reader is left satisfied with all the loose ends tied up until Gina gets out of prison. Nice opening for a sequel.

What I really liked, your descriptions did not go overboard, they were not too lengthily and sufficient to drive your points and incidents home. A lot of story tellers go on and on describing every nut and bolt.

There are a few flubs in your grammar:
After cleaning the breakfast tray, Gina poured herself a steaming mug of coffee, adding a splash of Kalhua for a kick. (Shouldn't that be clearing instead of cleaning?)

She leaned against the kitchen counter slowly slipping. She twirled the mug between her hands. (Sipping instead of slipping)

But for a piece this long simple mistakes like these are to be expected.

I really think you did a great job. Bravo. Write On..
By the way I rewrote that piece you critiqued. Take another look, you might like it better.
20
20
Review of Second Chance  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Your take on these personalities is near perfect. It must be one of your favorite shows, it is ours also. I love the introduction to the twist. You are an excellent author. Have you ever written in first person POV. It is a form that I love to do.

I will read the next in this mini-series and look forward to how this reunion works out. Putting his family back together cannot be this simple.
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Review by Rogue Writer
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
 Another night...  (XGC)
Sometimes your career picks you.
#1710299 by Rogue Writer
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22
Review of Sensual Fantasy  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
 Another night...  (XGC)
Sometimes your career picks you.
#1710299 by Rogue Writer
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Review of I AM  
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: E | (4.5)
You've not said anything wrong here!

He could not have been described any better. I realize, there are some that would not get the inference of some of the passages, but over all it gets the point across.

Very nicely done!

Thank You.

Bob
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Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I never give a five rating, but your piece was so inclusive and open minded that you beat me at my own game. I feel you attacked the question in a unique way, playing advocate to both good and evil. Questioning religion and advocating it at the same time.

Did you ever consider, God is just watching and observing His creation grow and change on its own. We are all just pieces of His Mind, Part of his thought pattern and when we pass on, he just gathers us back and rejects only those Souls that reject Him. Remember He made us in His image, that may not be our physical appearance, but our being, our Soul. We could look like a smurf for all He cares.

But that's my story. You pretty much covered all the other aspects of the quick and the dead, sorry about my little rant, but I needed to get my two cents in.

Any time you want to talk religion, please feel free to call on me.
Well written and well done,

Write on.
25
25
Review by Rogue Writer
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Writing this as a HS student and knowing your present age, and literary background, except for available time, there is no reason you cannot write a publishable story. I suggest you write when ever you can. Even if you don't use WDC. Just write. The story was very well done considering when you first did it...

DAD
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