My Thoughts: This is a great story. It is impossible to be perfectly honest as a friend once told me one can not never tell a lie I know he has bad grammar. but anyway I do understand your drive for perfection . although being the first born son in a group of 6 I never had the attention problem. I have always striven for perfection because if your not going to do something right then what is the point in doing it at all.
My Favorite Part: I honestly can't pick one part that's better than another part.
My Thoughts: This is a great piece, witch makes me wonder how it got such a low rating. The only thing I could figure out is that people must be lowering the rating because it is advertising your raffle.
My Favorite Part: I can't pick one part that's better than the other.
My Suggestions: Would be to work on your flow it was a little choppy.
My Thoughts: this is a great poem. I have seen a lot of poems about writing a style of poetry but this is the first one I have seen on the righting of poetry as a hole.
My Favorite Part: Would have to be how well you made what you feel go in to this piece.
My Suggestions: would be to work on your flow. the one word line's are what harm it this time.
This is the second Review in your "Invalid Item" party
This is a great piece. your flow on the second stanza was off I would try to find a way to cut down on the amount of syllables.
Your imagery was great and i enjoyed the comedic value of the piece great job
this is a great poem and while I don't agree with the idea that defeat is something that harms,after all without defeat we can never learn. You don't learn anything through winning. You made your point very clear and you wrote a perfect poem.
My Thoughts: this is a great poem your frustration at the knights really came out in this piece. your need to get away from realty at the beginning provides a nice contrast to the need for realty at the end.
My Favorite Part: would have to be the third stanza the naive idea that being Surrounded by beauty would protect anyone from a here Surrounded by beauty knight.
My Suggestions: Your flow on stanza 8 and 12 needs some work.
My Thoughts: Is that this is a interesting idea for a poem, normally when you think Halloween poems you think of all the different common costumes not a poem that just focus's on one or two. you stuck to your poem form well.
My Favorite Part: would have to be the werewolves of course I have been obsessed with werewolves for five years so that's not surprising.
My Suggestions: your flow could use some help on the first quatrain but other than that great job.
My Thoughts: Are that the lady's taste buds are shot, the waiter was trying to cover up that the food was bad and the three hundred fifty dollars I have no idea why they got three hundred fifty dollars.
My Favorite Part: was the fact that when the food sucked she wanted to go back when she never wanted to go back to the good restaurant
My Suggestions: their is only one thing that I found that might be wrong. I don't think there are any three hundred fifty dollar bills.
Write On!!
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