*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/borgford
Review Requests: OFF
622 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... Next
1
1
Review by Brian
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please consider this as my entry fee to your contest. I will be submitting my entry by your September 15 deadline.

I am Canadian, but I follow US politics closer than most Americans. It fascinates me and frustrates me, but like someone hooked on soap operas or reality shows, I can't stop following it.

As I read this article, I see it as being incomplete. The first part generalizes about the current US political system. The second part provides an excellent comprehensive and concise summary of pre-WWII Germany. Then it stops.

There is an implied lesson to be learned but the connection between the two parts is unclear. I don't see any parallels between the current US state of affairs and 1930's Germany. I know many politicians try to draw connections, but there really aren't any similarities as far as I can see.

If you see some connection, you might want to be more explicit by extending the article to describe it.

I'm impressed with how you summarized and explained a complex environment.

Brian
2
2
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thanks for your email. This looks like a great contest for Civil War enthusiasts. I look forward to reading the entries. I hope everything goes well and you get lots of quality entries. Here are a few points to help you keep it going.


Brian
3
3
Review by Brian
Rated: E | (4.0)
I finally found out why giraffes have such long necks. The head is so far from the body, the long neck is essential.

Another well written and descriptive account. Worthy of consideration in the contest you entered.

Good luck and keep writing these descriptive pieces.

Brian
4
4
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Cute and folksy. I like it.

I see you entered this in the creative non-fiction contest. I think you may have made a sytax error by putting a space after your item number. As a result there is no link to the story.

Just in case you risk a technical disqualification, you might want to go back to your posting and check it.

I think its worthy of consideration for prizes.

Good luck
Brian
5
5
Review by Brian
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am writing this as part of your entry requirements to

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1831365 by Not Available.


which I have entered.

I have taken the opportunity to view several of your pieces. Intriguing as they are different than most of the items on WDC. They tend to be factual with a reporter/journalistic style and little in the way of judgment, but enough dry humour (Canadian spelling) to make them interesting to read.

Many of them appear to have an enduring quality and could be assembled into topical anthologies. I am curious as to what you have planned with your writing. I began writing a few years ago when my first grandchild was born, with the intention of documenting all those little humourous things that happen in your life - something to leave for the grandkids. It has now evolved beyond that into some longer pieces, even book length items. Nothing published yet, other than a few self-published ebooks.

Have you had any of these published? They look like they are publishable in the right medium.

Nice writing - keep it up.

Brian
6
6
Review by Brian
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
To the contest managers

I seem to have an abundance of idle Gift Points. They could be better used in your cause than sitting in my bin. Love the contest and seeing all the talent at play. Keep up the good work, and thanks for your ongoing efforts.

Brian
7
7
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nice to see you keep this contest going. I haven't contributed a story yet, but do enjoy reading the submissions. Here are some gift points to help you with your prizes. Hope to see this going for a long time to come. Well done!! I'm sure everyone appreciates your efforts.

Brian
8
8
Review of It's About My Car  
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Cute story. I hope you are building an inventory of these personal accounts. I started doing that a few years ago and now have hundreds of them. Good keepsake for the kids and grand kids. Keep posting them and you will get lots of people reading them. Good luck with your writing.

Brian
9
9
Review by Brian
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for your note on the Preferred Author's Form. I like your little discription here - very interesting and enlightening.

I would likely lean more to the "normal" side as you describe it.

Good luck with your writing. I will try to offer some comments on some of it.

Brian
10
10
Review by Brian
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Judity

I'm sure we have communicated in the past. I have read some of your materials on here and I think I will pick up your latest publication on Smashwords.

I am considering using Smashwords to publish some of my shorter materials, and even some of my longer pieces.

If you have any opinions or advice about Smashwords, I would love to hear it.

You're a great inspiration - keep at it.

Brian
11
11
Review by Brian
Rated: E | (4.5)
I see this is an old post. I was wondering, now that a couple years have passed, what your experience has been with Smashwords.

I have been downloading free books for a couple months and have read their style guide. I am considering publishing some material there, but am looking for some opinions of those who have used it.

Thanks
Brian
12
12
Review of Cold Eyes  
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Great story - filled with wonderful (but dark) descriptions.

As I walked into the cold, metal holding cell, my shoes reverberated as they connected with the floor. A coarse voice emanated from the corner of the room. A mixture of passion and madness echoed in the voice, sending a cold shiver down my spine.

This is a powerful introduction with great use of strong verbs.

The rest of the story flows just as well.

This looks like it could be part of a longer piece, but it stands on its own very well.

Excellent - keep it up.

Brian


13
13
Review of Behind the Scene  
Review by Brian
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Congratulations on another win. 200 stories - wow. And most of them winners. That becomes a 50,000 word book. I'm looking forward to seeing it.

One of these days I am going to order a bunch of the self published books from authors on this site. If yours is one of them, it will be first on my list.

I haven't read all 200 yet, but I will try

Another impressive story - keep at it.

Brian
14
14
Review of Brass Screws  
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Interesting story, with a subtle message. Well done.

"The male mind incorporates an odd filter." I really like this line. It is an interesting observation and a unique way of stating it.

I am always working on the rule: "show" don't "tell" I slip into too much "tell". This line "Mothers with children always asked questions" might better be replaced or suplemented with some "showing". Your final paragraph is an excellent example of "showing".

Good luck in the contest. Well written account.

Brian
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
15
15
Review of No Smoking  
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Congratulations on winning the Daily Flash Fiction challenge. This is a really well written story - good use of the prompt.

I love the way you are able to "show" instead of "tell". That is an area I still struggle with. (eg.Steve and Bob gave another chuckle as the young man slumped his shoulders and headed for the door.)

Well done - keep it up.

Brian
16
16
Review of The Price of Love  
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Congratulations on winning the Daily Flash Challenge - well deserved.

This is a great short story - complete unto itself, but looks more like the start of a longer story.

I hope you take it further and put together a longer tale. I will watch for it.

Keep writing.
Brian
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
17
17
Review by Brian
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
You certainly have accumulated a good number of wins - well done. I wil try to get through them all - hopefully comment on a few as well.

Reading your port, I see you are living in the middle east. I live in the UAE - not far away.

Keep writing and keep in touch.

Brian
18
18
Review of Mean Man Magic  
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Congratulations on winning the Daily Flash Fiction Challege - good job.

I like the way you used the vernacular to full advantage. When I read the first sentence I didn't like the use of the weak modifier "little", but it fits well with the rest of the story - as told by Marcus.

One point of confusion - I couldn't see if Marcus actually advanced the money. The story implies he did, but it isn't explicit.

Keep it up.

Brian
19
19
Review by Brian
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can see your connection with dogs. This scene sounds familiar.

I don't read much poetry - much of it is repetitious themes and I can't relate. But this one I can relate to.

Well done - I look forward to reading more of your material.

Brian
20
20
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Congratulations on winning the Writer's Cramp Daily contest. Well deserved.

This is a great little tale - it almost sounds true. You told it well and it is a humorous account.

I love the link to the Hatfield and McCoy fued.

Well done - keep it up.

Brian
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
21
21
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Congratulations on winning the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge - well deserved.

I lov e your opening paragraph - lots of powerful descriptions. I particularly like the "tamborine" similie. The rest of the story is just as powerful.

Well done - keep it up.

Brian
22
22
Review of The Bar  
Review by Brian
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is an interesting and intriguing tale. My wife was reading it over my shoulder and was also taken by it.

Gareth was a very strange - I would avoid the use of "very" as a weak modifier.

I would also avoid overused words such as "suddenly" or adverbs such as "slowly".

These are just some of my thoughts.

Great job - keep it up.

Brian
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
23
23
Review by Brian
Rated: E | (4.5)
I presume this would be accompanied by illustrations.

I have 3 grandkids and one on the way. I have thought of trying to write stories for them, or with them, but nothing has materialized yet. I applaud your effort.

I have read a lot of stories to my oldest (the others are still babies). At 4 years old he is fascinated with the stories and always wants pictures.

I have noticed that many - like yours - include some element of conflict and perhaps fear. What are your thoughts on how that impacts the young reader? Also does the act of putting incompatable animals (such as the duck and the cat) have any impact?

Just some thoughts I have had.

Great job - keep it up.

Brian
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
24
24
Review by Brian
Rated: E | (3.5)
Creative story - nice job.
Here are a couple comments:

The language you used is pretty tame, but because of words like "crap", you might want to up the rating a bit.

Greg and William who was sixteen years old - If both boys are 16, then it should read "were". If only William is, then the statement is a bit confusing.

kideling - should be "kindling"

Keep writing.

Brian
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
25
25
Review by Brian
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I'm not a poetry critic, so I'm not sure how valuable my comments are.

I really can identify with your first section - we are obviously from the same general era. I was more "conservative" than most of my compatriots of the day, but I could relate.

I am a bit lost with your second section. For me it doesn't fit.

Just my observations.

Thanks for writing it.

Brian
224 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 9 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/borgford